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I
u tli(> 1-vPt+c.,. . 1S ma, V remember > thatirise, and gives the Professor a chance,
thev will ■ a TAReserves, the worseif lie so desired, to fix up marks to
• ' i ,^ a iT 1 ™ and that “Itjsnit himself at any time of the year,
blamed ^ ^ Ulle ^kat tbou artjWe do not suppose tl
. tv ’i i , lever happens, but we would like to
fair ” 1 derS mark was ever yet thejask how it was that Mr. Donald Gillis,
He had heard a man recount how thejyoung and two old moss backs ! We
rill bet a nickle to a gingercake, that
THINGS IN GENERAL.
city people tried to gull the
+ i . +1 N w” I \‘ J “ V/ v *- “ ,v ' J* ai - koms, and l»e was ready for the fray :|four out of the live can’t read three
that thou art|Wedom>t^supposethat; such attiinghe swore that he would never be lines of Prometheus without a trick!
fooled, and when a man with prettyjand furthermore, we will bet our old
stripes upon his pants and a sliortjhats that those of them who passed
walking stick put him on the Black through the University neve)’ read
Maria in Atlanta to carry him to tjie their Greek and Latin without
of the Senior Class, received “ones’
every monthly report except one,
jon
and
then
; two,” in Chemistry,
[while he was given an average of only
80 on dailies for the year ? AVe all
he reached his
cannot be less his bluffing:
two ” must be,
supposing each
longer ^ orter ~ t ^ sis ?°;know that a “ one ’
students f ’ f ° r ’ T\ - bj t le than 90, and that a
students, but has degenerated mto thej a t m.,,). frx .
ofhcial organ of the faculty and asheet« onp >> ’ An j + ii J t i « .
to aggrandize the Editor-in-Chief It w lT 7/ ’°’ d * * ,, t , 1
has lomr sim»P ppoopU *■ / • ' I was <o, the average must have been
thinf fnwL'n l Z Tiff/ ny ' a Action over 88 for the year-will
week to week wirif such WaTs^ , Pr f' iS f! of Chemistry state by
“ Mr Toup« ,,.;n i i g . a Vhat rule of Mathematics the average
i i ? Jsn& %£&*? “ • ** • -
ed last night from a two WeeksS-m* !f 6 fe J as obtained, for we saw
to his native city,” and “the Unl-I^f 301 8 book , written with
versity picked squad will make some-j ' 1
body ‘hump’ for first prize at St; PAkAkTTf TiTn i
SlTTlATAC ^ A 11T r A 1 ; i , -t AivAk)Jjili iN O. Jl
oimons. Any joke on student or pro
fessor, any wittv
room, any and
saying of the class
" •',,9 In the kind called AVaybaek, far re-
, y® 1 Jih!ng. calculated m0 ved f rom the evils of city life and
llniP/lYms skip at nrt L .1 , , . ^ . . ,J ,
to portray the ludicrous side of col
lege life, and cause a smile to linger
around the lips of overworked and
home sick students must be excluded;!b )S j-{ tnt j on
the temptations of society, lived
man whose name was Cap.” Now it
so chanced that the rulers of a certain
pf learning did seek one
hotel, he smiled and said within him
self, “ I’m getting there.” Finally
a
trick. Then talk about a man not be
ing competent to teach
c If there is one in the number
gave the Sophscan conjugate correctlv the verb
pages of Math, each “ tupto ” we will raise our hat to him
and retract
the language.
who
destination and began
He
and Fresh 40 x o _
day, and knocked off 10 per cent, if
they wouldn’t wink both eyes to
other, he got a mammoth “Rep.”
and the Sophs, did say. “He’s a
bigger man than old Tub,” while all
the Fresh exclaim, “ let Crazy Jack
beware,” and much this did elate the
Cap., and he did say unto himself,
“I’ll bluff the Junior’s and the
Seniors who pass me by and never
lift their hats,” and unto him he
called one Junior, Gander S—th, and,
unto him did say, “ why do I see thee in themselves showed a thorough
not at drilland the Gander did;knowledge of the subjects, but that
l eply, Rheumatiz, see my cane ?” they gave evidence of cramming on
n /-\ tL „ A i.L . . 1 Jl j "T \ 1
all we have said. AVe
know they never read all the papers
of the Senior Class. AVhich, if we
are not mistaken they are required to
do—for one examination was stood
after they left; and in Geology, we
heard from one of their own number
that they only read four out of 28.
How do they know whether the rest
of the papers called for a rise or not ?
And there is another thing—they
stated in their report that the papers
I hen Cap exclaimed, “ did I not see
them run a mile the other’ aft?”
Perhaps you did, old Jay, but then
my doctor certifies I am unwell,
the part of the student,
this is true, but how in the
Perhaps
name of
common sense did the gentlemen dis
cing an article that makes anyil'TAih tlT nut T w Tw 1 am cover the fact? If in an examine
augh out loud, the writer is ex- +■ \ t i . ‘ +1 ’ , ne poetryi.ind, it you doubt my word, justjtion paper the question is asked,
pelled ; for causing a smile he is only * mi 1 /° T ? 1 tudent ’ lm1 j none | jump on Dr B-nk Co-p-r;” but lie “what is the cost of two dozen eggs
suspended for two* weeks ’ The S 1 T , be f “ £ d ling to undertake'had bluffed the Cap. at ,10c. per dozen,” and the answers
reason we can see for such a state of ( tle did Se un hfriirlsTiTV at T w 0n , e TT dil V, the Ingun from 20c, how can the reader tell that the
affairs is that the faculty is composed® ®« T TT- assemblage and; J ay back did spy a Senior, called student has crammed up on the egg
of a set of men who are afraid thatlTl i ov a mai ! named Cap, I atsy, and did smile and say, “ He is.subject ? Yet this is exactly what the
- - wlm knows no more about^war thanjafraid of his own shadow, I’ll bluff)committee has done. They read the
TrTT mor ® about war thanjafraid of his own shadow, I’ll bluff committee has done. They read the
McG-gh, or about Math, than him, even unto suicide.” So he did papers and found them good, but they
T-iis, (who can t tell tell cost of [call him up and say, “why did youlsaw that the writer had crammed on
ii eggs at 12ic. per dozen,) but fail to drill on yesterday and play 0 the subject. The world awaits the
—v-*-p—— •** • • ^i “j uxu run
. per dozen,) but fail to drill on yesterday and play 6
an find one bet-jsets of tennis for milkshakes ?” “ I
A py 1 - ” 11CJ1 rulers did hear of (was tired—here’s my certificate,” said
pT| tln8 maI1 ’ the y did all exclaim, “AVe’ll the Senior, slightly * abashed, but still
^.Jtrv him” ISow when Cap did know in the rinff. i]i^ In^nn then did ask,
lu 11 pv-f fl.Jc lio /lir] nloix Iv-Jr. 1 . l' ii rv
made, let the wronged ones comfort
by the words of the great Carlyle.
“ The truest of all gospels (good
news] is this—a lie cannot long pros
per.”
Speaking of Professors who com
mand the love and respect of the
students, it is in order at thi,
their real character may be made p r j )
public. AVe do not deny that therc j D . ld q.. 1is (who can
are some m the faculty who commandL dozen at m <,
the love and respect of the students,j he will do ° util we can
but they are m the hopeless minority. ter .” AVhen the rulers
W e hope in the future, that t
“ powers that be” will allow the I„ Jn]1
jSancef^unrinf rt£Ss "tre^^ 83 t ^S^p ” ^' "'t™’ Tl ^ 7< T
’ - - snout, wlioop! lm a big Injun: coatee ?” looking into 3ns face with
my fame reacheth everywhere; “ Ejtlie air of a man who has a great
Pluribus Unum : I’ve been getting|secret to impart, and with a “can-
$1 a day and my rations for lo, thesejyou-be-trusted ” gaze tlie Senior
many years, and now I will be a Van- whispered. “The’re off, sir, do you
derbilt or a Jay Gould : I will clothe want to see my certificate ?” But the
myself in purple, and wear a white!Ingun was gope and Patsy then did
shirt every day. I’ll brush my teeth say, “ are not the Seniors the biggest
m d -i bav ? d ® ssert threejbluffers in the state, and am I not the
if I could not
that the writer had crammed oil
subject. The world awaits the
reply to the question. “ How did the
visitors find out this fact ?”
•to remark that Professor Barrow is the
man we all love, and if anybody wants
a fight, let him
every morning,:
place times a week : 111 knock the shine offjbiggest of the lot:
all these
ght, let him come on the campus picks all the* time : AVhoop '
and say something against “ old lady killer : Steady, steady, I’m
Dave. We know lie is an upright, " T
Christian gentleman, and i f there
few more such as
^ V/i lilIC 1UL . II. -L Gvllllt-l IlU
plow boys and guano strew- bluff the Ingun I’d eat a piece of Still
1 keep a pocket full of toothlwell’s butter and die.” But still the
were a few more such as he, there
would be less of quarreling and con
tentions and more “peace on earth
and good will towards men.” The
universal toast of the students is,
“ Professor Barrow—the friend of all)
the enemy of none.” May the light
of his life long shine as a beacon fire
on the shores of time to “ point out
to men the error of their ways”
and to “ teach them that their Re
deemer liveth.”
The practice of secret working is a
feature of the University which
should find an early grave. No good
can be found in it, and it keeps" the
student in total ignorance of what he
is doing, gives an opportunity for
curiosity to drive him into rooms at
dead hours of night to try and find
e«: I’H keep a pocket full of toothjwell’s butter and die.
~in a Ingun walks the. streets and smiles
. --—- j, A too because the rulers of the college have
fast I must learn some more Math, not yet met and pulled his scalp. And
by heart, or they’ll find me out the verily, verily, 1 say unto you, that
first day: No, no, I wont do that,(when they come together at the ses
(Little brother of Milledge Avenue.
Belle studying his spelling.)
“ Papa, what is an auger ?”
Father—“ An auger is something to
bore with, my son.”
Little Boy.—“ Pa, is Dr. Rocks an
auger
Father—“No, my son, why do you
ask the question ?”
Little Boy—“ I heard sistei say he
nearly bored her to death every time
he come up here.”
I 11 try the bluff game on them, for
with the exception of P-sy II-f-ed
and G-ge-A-d-r-on, whom I whom read
about in the Reporter, I’m the big
gest bluffer going. I will bluf
Soph’s, and Fresh’s into thinking I’m
a second Edition of Sir Isaac Newton.
I’ll never work anything for them,
but make them work out everything,
and by reason of my having them ex
plain so many problems, I’ll pick up a
few myself. _ I’ll give them half a
book at one time, and give them zero
if they use a different letter from the
book: They’ll have an idea that I
know it all: Oh, I’ll put the razzle-
dazzle. on ’em.” Then he took his
shoes in hand and walked barefooted
1st. Student—“ Say, Spots, if you
were to see Phillippi riding up in
Cobbham on a donkey, what fruit
would it remind you of ?”
sions close and begin to pull the wool ^pMs “A pear” (pair),
there will be wailing and gnashing of! Stmterd “ Go head, Spots.”
teeth.
soon as they had gone away, they seem
to have studied to see what they could
—™ ........... ...... uaiciuureu say that would most hurt the college.
to the railroad ; he boarded a freight Incompetent Professors! Yes, they
train for the first time in his life with ma y be, but wasn’t it a lovely set to
: Town man to Judge AA T arren, “how
THE VISITING COMMITTEE. Iis that just before every commence-
jment I see the campus walks levelled,
This body of learned (?) gentlemen and the buildings scoured and white-
who meet every year to examine the af-Jwashed?”
airs of the University, do little else ex-| Judge—Oh, they want to make a
cept draw their per diem.andsit around mash on the trustees and get them to
and chat with a fine cigar in their think that the ground and buildings
mouth. The board of visitors for the are kept that way all the time. I tried
present, appeared to be well jAeasediov six months to get them to fix the
with every thing and with every body, Walk from the Chapel to the gate, but
while they were in Athens, but as it remained full off ruts and ditches
“ , A 6 -T ■ J T. u<im lur wie msr Time in llls me with may be, but wasn’t it a lovely set to
out whether or not he is making a mingled feelings of fear and wonder, sit on tlie judgement seat? Three
that could hardly be crossed until last
week, and they are being filled up
with ashes and covered over with sand,
which will wash away the first bi<r
rain, and nothing more will be done
until next commencement.