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THE UNIVERSITY BUMBLE-BEE.
Bellona was the Goddess of War and
hence that Bellona’s bridegroom was
the god of war himself. Dr. Riley
said ‘ ‘I do not recall that, ’ ’ but his
opinion was overborne by the class
and he was forced to confess his
ignorance. The old Romans would
deem it rare sport forsooth to hear
that Mars had become a courtier in
the Celtic Court. Ye gods, how the
mighty have fallen! But Mars
would have thought twice no doubt
before thus debasing himself if he
had known that Dr. Riley would
pry into his personal affairs and thus
inconsiderately expose him to the
laughter of the world. We do not
say that a professor should know
everything, but he should know
enough to hold his tongue when he
knows nothing, or else have the
manhood to acknowledge that he is
ignorant and not make wild state-
uents which expose him to the jeers
of the class which he is trying to
fool into the belief that he knows
something about the subject under
discussion.
Dr. Riley’s ability as a critic is
onfy_eqnalled_hy liis mastery of the
art of paraphrasing at'sight. —-In-
his attempts to read Milton and
Shakespeare he loads himself up
with the words and fires them out
in a jerky fashion, two at a time,
regardless of metre or scansion.
As a critic he is sunk in the depths
of his own learning and flounders
along through the mire of his own
verbosity, tripping himself by con
tradictions too flagrant to challenge
the comment of the class.
As a lecturer Dr. Riley is with
out a peer in the faculty, unless in
deed his utterance be equalled by
the silver tongue of the power behind
the throne. This difference however
is observed, no living man (and of
the immortals only the spirits of the
loomed would be forced to listen to
iiim) can take down the polished
words that flow so musically and
rapidly from the hypocritical tongue
of Dr. White, and hence his fluency
is wasted on the desert air; but Dr.
Riley, for fear a like fate should be
his and some of the priceless gems
of rhetoric which fall from his lips
d>e lost to posterity (0 measureless
woe), compels the students to hear
ken to his words one by one and
inscribe them upon tablets which,
though yellow, are not yet gold.
Dr. Riley’s justice however is
beyond question, for no one doubts
its partiality. When the English
class was divided into two sections,
one being under Professor Morris
and one under Dr. Riley, the latter
made up his final marks sometime
before the former and gave them out
to the class together with the mens’
relative standing. When Professor
Morris made up his marks it was
found that the two had different
systems of marking whereby the
men under Professor Morris had
been graded higher than those under
Dr. Riley. Now mark you! What
did Dr. Riley do? He did that
which he should have done before—
he consulted with Professor Morris,
and shoved up his own marks so as
to equalize the standing of the two
sections, thus attempting to right one
wrong tar another. He did his own
section In injustice when he marked
them without having some under
standing with Professor Morris,
thereby making them liable to the
misfortune which afterwards befell
them and placing them at a dis
advantage with the other section.
He did the men under Professor
Morris an injustice when he pla&sd
ahead of them men in his own sec
tion, thus depriving those under Pro
fessor Morris of the relative standing
to which their marks entitled them.
But far worse than all this^Ae gave
Mr. Joseph Brawn Qonnallv the ques
tions on an explanation before the day
appointed for ibnl examination. This
is fact!
Finally, Dr. Riley was untrqeyto
his position as a professor at (he
University of Georgia,which supplies
him with his bread and meat and to
which he owes his entire support,
when he received from Mr. C. W.
Hood of Hominy Grove the sum of
one thousand dollars for Mercer
College. No doubt he received this
sum as a Baptist preacher and of
course the gift was unsolicited, Mr.
Hood being prompted purely by a
large and generous heart, and per
haps he had to beg our Professor of
English to accept it, but the latter
should not place himself in such a
position that he will be forced to
aid a rival college, if he is to retain
his position as a Professor at the
University.
Hence we say that Dr. Riley is
totally unfit for the position which
he occupies. As a professor he is
ludicrous; as a teacher he is in
capable; and as a man he is unjust.
He is a clog upon our progress. His
presence casts a shadow upon the
light of learning shed by the Uni
versity, and in the name of the
University we demand his removal.
TO SHEF.
To you this kind advice we bring,
And hope good heed you’ll take:
Drink more deeply of the Pierian Spring,
And less of Silver Lake.
HENRY CLAY WHITE.
The University of Georgia pos
sesses as a member of its faculty a
brilliant character who can be most
satisfactorily described, though
smacking of slang, by the term slick.
As an inducement to young students
to come to Georgia, after the name
of this character is advertised such
regalia of distinctions as B. Sc.,
Ph. D., F. C. S., &c, &c., which
regal procession is supplemented by
a surname absolutely inappropriate
except perhaps in respect of that
segment of the great Pacificator’s
character which showed itself as a
politician.
I refer to the astute Professor of
Chemistry. As I have before said
this gentleman can best be charac
terized by the term “slick.” As a
sharper no faculty, North or South,
can furnish a rival, nor have they
ever claimed such distinction.
Now having given the Doctor full
credit for all the distinctions which
he so richly and signally deserves,
I desire, with his consent, of course,
through the friendly buzz of this
untiring Bumble-Bee, to whisper into
his ears a few suggestions, as a rep
resentative of the students now
under him and those gone out from
the University.
Now, Doctor, the first one is that
you give up now your vaunting am
bition to be Chancellor. While it
may not be in the Power of the
Alumni to force the blind man now
occupying this position to see that
they are clamoring for his resignation
or removal, there is an army of those
who know the wily deceits of your
slick tongue and affable manners—
you can never be Chancellor of the
University of Georgia.
Then, Doctor, why not be honest,
truthful, sincere, in other words,
why not be a man f Your friend,
the Bumble-Bee and every alumnus
of the University are willing to
admit that you are a capable and
competent Professor of Chemis
try and that you are a man of
brilliant attainments and much in
tellectual strength. Every one of
them believes that if you were not a
wily Bayard but an honest, truthful
man, you would make an honored
and valuable citizen, and exercise a
positive influence for good in the
span of life still left for you.
It is not at all necessary that I
should call your attention to any
single act of insincerity or dis
honesty. You know, for instance,
why a son of a political power in
National Circles was given distinc
tion when his mark was much lower
than that of a dozen sons of poor
farmers and merchants who were
not given distinction.
You know that you were the
originator of the scheme for Seniors,
known as the ‘ ‘Ten Lecture Course,”
which lectures, from the fault of the
faculty, were not delivered at all
like the catalogue prescribed; that
when, on this account, the class
petitioned the faculty to make the
lectures elective, you were the Chair
man of the Committee to which the
matter was referred and the petition
was refused without a single reason
being given to the class; you know
that at the suggestion and by the
advice of the Chancellor, given to
its committee, the class then pre
sented a petition to the faculty
promising that, if it be excused
from final examinations on such
lectures, it would give the same
attendance and attention to the lec
tures, as to the other recitations and
that, you being Chairman of the
Committee to which this second
petition was referred, it also was
refused, as was the first petition,
without a single reason being given
to the class; you know that the
class, receiving such treatment at
the hands of the faculty whom it
had always sustained in every order
and in every request, then demanded
its rights according to the terms of
the Catalogue, when you decended
from year stand and, in the midst
of the boys, tried by means of your
superior position and persuasive
deceptions to bushwhack them from
their position; you know that you
there told|them that you knew nothing
of the second petition and, though you
were the Chairman of the Committee
which recommended the rejection of
both petitions, the politician that
you are, in face of the sixty-five
men of the class, who are soon to
become men of influence in the state,
promised to represent them before the
faculty in ivhatever request they might
see fit to make.
Such is the Doctor’s character and
such everyone knows him to be.
Now, in conclusion does it not appear
that ’twould be best for you to give
up your ostrich-like deceptions and
be honest and truthful? Your
course has hitherto failed to gain for
you the wonted goal and the Bumble-
Bee here and now assures you that
that same course will never obtain it
for you. So be a man, face the
students and your colleagues as a
man, treat those who have dealings
with you as a man would treat them
and the ’97 Bumble-Bee promises
you that the Edition of 1901, wnl
join the students and alumni in es
teeming you an instructor, a scien
tist, a man, of whom Georgia and
Georgia’s University should be
proud.