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THE ATLANTIAN 9 Central Bank and Trust == CORPORATION— CANDLER BUILDING Capital Undivided Prolits Deposits Five Hundred Thousand Dollars Two Hundred Thousand Dollars • Three Million Dollars A Strong, Well Equipped, Conservatively Managed Bank 4% on Savings Deposits YOUR ACCOUNT IS INVITED Branch, Corner Mitchell and Forsyth Streets ASA G. CANDLER. President DIDN’T HEAR THEM THE SAME WAY. A college professor was walking across the campus with the dean of one of the colleges when the chimes In the library tower began to ring. W. A. SLATE, Passenger Conductor Atlanta Div. Southern Railway, and Mem ber of Ga. Div. 457, O. R. C. Also Prominent Member Shrine. ‘‘Dean,’’ said he, "the music of those chimes is so beautiful that it always sets me dreaming of the past. My boyhood days ” "What do you say?” interrupted the venerable Dean. “I say the chimes are very, very beautiful. They make me think ” "What?” yelled the dignified old Dean again. “The chimes—the chimes—how beautiful they ” “Speak louder!” cried the Dean once more. "I can’t hear you for those in fernal bells.” A HOUSEFUL OF REASONS. Shortly after a young man married he entered the ministry. He was on a small salary, but he seemed con tented and happy. Some twelve or fifteen years went by when a friend met him, well dress ed, but not at all clerically. They shook hands. The "minister” said he was doing excellently. "What church?” asked the friend. “Oh,” said the other, “no church— the wholesale hat business.” "But why did you leave the church?” the friend inquired solicitously. "For seven reasons,” he replied. “And what were they?” “A wife,” he answered, "and six children.” LIMITED BAIT. A teacher was one afternoon exam ining a class of young boys in geogra phy. He said: “Now, boys, what do you think that Noah did while he was in the ark?” After waiting several minutes he saw one hand go up, and the little chap on being asked what he thought that Noah did replied: “Sir, I think that he might have fished some.” "Yes,” said the instructor, “that is possible; he might have fished some.” Presently another small hand went up. The teacher asked this one also what he thought about it. The small boy said: "I don’t think that he fished very long, because he only had two worms.” WHY SHE SENT FOR HIM. A clergyman was once sent for in the middle of the night by one of his woman parishioners. “Well, my good woman,” said he, “so you are ill and require the con solations of religion? What can I do for you?” "No,” replied the old lady, “I am only nervous and can’t sleep!” “But how can I help that?” said the parson. "Oh, sir, you always put me to sleep so nicely when I go to church that I though if you would only preach a little for me!” NOT IN THE INDEX. “Sir,” said the sleek-looking agent, approaching the desk of the meek, meaching-looking man and opening one of those folding thingumajigs show ing styles of binding, "I believe I can interest you in this massive set of F. M. WOODDALL, Terminal Train Master A. B. & A. Ry., Atlanta—Mr. Wooddall is Popular With His Employees and Has Made Good With the Company—Watch Him Rise. books containing the speeches of the world’s greatest orators. Seventy vol umes, one dollar down and one dollar a month until the price, six hundred and eighty dollars, has been paid. This set of books gives you the most cele brated speeches of the greaters talk ers the world has ever known and—” “Let me see the index,” said the meek man. The agent handed it to him and he looked through it carefully and meth odically, running his finger along the list of names. Reaching the end he handed the in dex back to the agent and said: “It isn’t what you claim it is. I happen to know the greatest talker in the world, and you haven’t her in the in dex.” HIS MEMORY WAS ALL RIGHT. “Well, dear,” announced her absent- minded husband when he came home, "this time I did not forget to bring home my umbrella. See?” “Yes, dear, I do see,” replied the gentle wife. "The only trouble is, Harry, you didn’t take yours this morning.” RESTED ON ABRAHAM’S BOSOM. One morning when Abraham Lincoln was on his way from his home to his office two girls ahead of him were skipping backward on the sidewalk. As they neared and were within a few feet of him one of them struck the edge of a brick and fell back ward. Before she reached the ground Mr. Lincoln had caught her in his arms. Lifting her tenderly to her feet he asked the girl her name: “Mary Tuft,” she answered, blush ing. "Well, Mary,” said Mr. Lincoln, smil ing, “when you reach home you can truthfully tell your mother that you have rested on Abraham’s bosom.” TO A VIOLET. Sweet flower, in spring-time blooming, Thy praises have been sung before Through countless, bygone ages, Thy modesty, told o’er and o’er By poets, lovers, sages. But violet, none ever yet Has fathomed half the mystery Of thy being—wee woodland flower; So little, man can understand The songs on Nature’s pages. To love is better than to know; The singer, greater than the song; Earth’s perfect music here below Is but the first sweet note Of Heaven’s eDdless melody. —Myrtle Conger. Shelbyville, Ind. A man who prides himself on obey ing the Ten Commandments and habitually ignores the book of rules will never find out why he isn’t popu lar with the boss.—Cynicisms of the Cinder Crusher.