Newspaper Page Text
12
THE ATLANTIAN
fr
CENTRAL BANK
AND TRUST CORPORATION
Candler Building
Capital, One Million Dollars. Deposits
Three Million and Five Hundred Thousand
Dollars
A STRONG, WELL EQUIPPED, CON
SERVATIVELY MANAGED BANK
4% on Savings Deposits
.Your Account is Invited.
BRANCH, CORNER MITCHELL AND FORSYTH STREETS
Asa G. Candler, President.
70
FACTS AND FANCIES.
Stray Bits From the Papers.
Sign in Brooklyn: “Kick the Prin
ter.’* A comma there might prevent
trouble.
“Umbrellas soon to disappear,’’ is a
newspaper headline. Soon! Two of
ours have already.
Another headline reads: “Horse drops
on Georgia Klink.’’ One could almost
make a wheeze out of that.
The Medical Journal remarks: “His
death put a stop, for the time being, to
his investigations.” This does not strain
credulity.
Reporting a carriage accident, the
South Bend News says: “Mr. and Mrs.
Dice were thrown on Washington avenue
this morning.” All fours, probably.
“Plant roses all along life’s way,”
sings a newspaper poet. Oh, come now,
why not sort in a few potatest We
can’t live on roses.
A . Matter of Hours Only.
Mrs. Kawler,: How long did the new
cook stay!
.jMrs. Kling: I could not tell exactly,
the. clock stopped..
Rubbing It In.
Patient (angrily): The size of your
bill makes my blood boil.
Doctor: Then that will be $20 more
fipr f ;steriUzing your system.
.. A Modern Capture.
Jle (wondering if his rival has been
accepted): Are both your rings heir
looms f
She (concealing the hand): Oh, dear,
yes. One has been in the family since
the time of Alfred, but the other is
nower—(blushing)—it only dates from
the conquest.—Tit-Bits.
Difficult.
“What is the hardest work you dot”
“My hardest work,” replied the sena
tor, “is trying to look like my photo
graph, and talk like my speeches when
I get back to my home town.”—Wash
ington Star.
Could Stand It Better.
‘ * How do you know that your daughter’s
music is improving! ”
‘ * The neighbors are getting more
friendly. ’ ’—Houston Post.
Fresh for the Bishop.
‘ * Look here, Dinah, ’ ’ said Blinks, as he
opened a questionable egg at breakfast,
“is this the freshest egg you can find!”
“Naw, suh,” replied Dinah. “We’ve
done got a haff dozen laid dis mornin’,
suh, but de bishop’s cornin’ down hyar
in September, suh, and we’s savin’ all de
fresh aigs for him, suh.”—Harper’s
Weekly.
HE HAS ONLY HAD THAT
ONCE.
How would it do for Colonel Roosevelt
to switch and ask for the Vice Presi
dency! He has had that but once.—
Dallas News.
Many a doting father has paid hun
dreds of dollars to learn that his daugh
ter couldn’t sing.
MEXICO HAS 15,303,717.
An Increase of 1,696,458 During
the Last Ten Years.
Mexico City, Mexico, Jan. 25.—The
government census report that has just
been issued shows that Mexico has a total
population of 15,303,717, which is an in
crease of 1,696,458 during the last ten
years. The population by States and
Territories, compared with the census of
1910, is as follows:
States.
1900.
1910.
Aguascalientes ...
102,416
118,978
Campeche
86,542
85,795
Chiapas
360,799
436,817
Chihuahua
327,784
405,265
Coahuila
295,938
365,521
Colima
65,115
77,704
Distrito Federal ..
541,516
719,052
Durango
370,294
426,218
Guanajuato
1,061,724
1,075,270
Guerrero
479,205
605,437
Hidalgo
605,051
641,895
Jalisco
1,153,891
1,202,202
Mexico
934,463
975,019
Michoacan
935,808
991,649
Morelos
160,115
179,814
Nuevo Leon
327,937
368,929
Oaxaca
948,633
1,041,035
Pueblo
1,021,133
1,092,456
Queretaro , ... t.
232,389
243,515
San Lois Potosi..
575,432
624,748
Sanaloa
296,701
323,599
Sonora
221,682
262,549
Tabasco
159,834
183,708
Tamaulipas
218,944
249,253
Tiaxcala
172,315
183,802
Veracruz
981,030
1,124,368
Yucatan
309,652
337,026
Zacatecas
472,190
551,492
Lower California.
47,264
52,244
Tapic
150,093
171,837
Quintana Roo ....
9,086
Total
13,607,259
15,303,717
THE POLITICAL TREND.
“We are drifting toward a paternal
form of government,” said the econo
mist.
“Pardon me if I correct you,” re
sponded the suffragette, gently; “to be
accurate, you should say a maternal form
of government. ’ ’—Washington Star.
STILL UP.
Mrs. Bungle: “Our servant lighted
the fire with gasoline this morning.”
Mrs. Bingle: * ‘ Did you discharge
her!”
Mrs. Bungle: “We haven’t found
her yet.”
WHAT DID HE MEAN?
“Well,” said the doctor, cheerfully,
“how do you feel this morning! Any
aches or pains!”
“Yes,” answered the patient, “it
hurts me to breathe; but the only trouble
now seems to be with my breath.”
“Oh,” said the physician, still more
cheerfully, “I’ll give you something that
will soon stop that.”—Ladies’ Home
Journal.
Talk isn’t always cheap; it often costs
a man a black eye.
THE JOY OF GARDENING.
(From the Detroit Free Press)
The garden is a splendid joy.
There is no doubt,
Man gets as gleeful as a boy,
When sweet peas sprout.
One radish showing through the earth
Delights his soul,
As though this tender shoot were worth
A ton of coal.
And down upon his bended knees,
To make it brief,
He shouts with joy, if he but sees
One lettuce leaf.
And when one cabbage sprout he spies,
He laughs to think
How he has put those farmer guys
Upon the blink.
HOW TO RECALL TROUPE’S
NAME.
(From the Kansas City Star)
The manager of a theatrical company,
playing a “one-night stand” in Texas,
was talking to the hotel proprietor re
garding the prospects for business, and
then had been assured they were good.
Then he asked: “What was the last
show you had here!”
The landlord thought for a moment
and turning to the clerk said:
“Say, Fred, what’s the name on those
trunks upstairs!”
* PRIDE.
(From the Chicago Record-Herald)
“Pride is a curious thing.”
‘ ‘ Very. ’ ’
‘ * Some queer things make people
proud. I once knew a man who was
proud of the fact that he had two
thumbs on his right hand.”
“I have seen queerer cases of pride
than that. A woman whom I know is
proud of her son even when she sees
him‘taking part in a track meet.”
AMONG ARTISTS.
(From Punch)
First Music Hall Artist (watching Mr.
J. M. Barrie’s “The Twelve-Pound
Look’’ from the wings) : “I like this
yer sketch; the patter’s so good. ’Oo
wrote it!”
Second Music Hall Artist: “Bloke
called Barrie, I think.”
First Music Hall Artist: “Arst for
'is address. ’E writes our next.”
TWO GUILTY.
“Thomas,” said mother, severly,
“some one has taken a big piece of gin
ger-cake out of the pantry, ’ ’
Tommy blushed guiltily.
“O, Thomas,” she exclaimed, “I
didn’t think it was in you! ”
“It ain’t all,” replied Tommy, “part
of it’s in Elsie.”—National Monthly.
HE HAS PLAYED THE
GAME BEFORE.
Mr. Bryan demands a new deal, but
refuses to take sides. Does he want to
be the dealer!—Pittsburg Dispath.