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10
THE ATL ANTI AN
A VAULTING AMBITION.
“The malefactor of great wealth, as
election day approaches, keeps getting it
harder and harder all along the line. In
a Pullman the other day, I administered
a regular solar plexus to a malefactor of
great wealth myself.”
The speaker was Jerome S. McWade,
the sociologist of Duluth. With a loud
laugh, he continued:
“I accidentally got into conversation
with the old fellow on the way to Chica
go. He told me who he was—a world-
famous name. Then, for all his black
record, he began to boast with real affec
tion, the same as you or I might do,
about his little grandson.
“ ‘And the young rascal,’ he ended,
twisting his white moustache complacent
ly—‘the young rascal says he wants to
grow up to be just like me!’
‘ ‘ ‘ Oh, don’t let that worry you, ’ said
I, with a cold sneer. ‘Why, when I was
a youngster my one ambition was to be
a safecracker.’ ”
AN EASY LITTLE PRIMIER
LESSON.
See the Mad Dog.
Also see the Innocent Bystander.
The one froths at the Mouth. The oth
er shudders with Dread. The Policeman
takes Aim. Can the Innocent Bystander
possibly Escape!
Yes. For—see! The Policeman’s Re
volver misses Fire!—Kansas City Star.
“Mrs. Codgers is dreadfully afraid of
embonpointremarked Mrs. Gadsley.
“Is that so?” chirped Mrs. Wopper.
“My favorite Awnt had it, and the poor
thing just wasted away! ’ ’—Birmingham
Age-Herald.
W. L. ALCUTT,
Conductor, Southern Railway,
and Member Division 457, O.
R. C.; First Treasurer Division
07
SOME HAND FOR A SICK MAN
From the Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph.
One morning at breakfast the young
ster said: “Dad, where wuz yer last
night?”
J. M. SITTON,
Member Division 368, B. of L. E.,
Engineer Southern Railway.
“Never you mind where I was,” an
swered the father.
“But,” insisted the boy, “where wuz
yer?”
“Well, if you must know, I was sit
ting up with a sick friend.”
“Oh, did yer sick friend die?”
“What an absurd question! Of course,
he didn’t die.”
‘ ‘ Oh, but did you hoiu your sick
friend’s hand?”
“No,” answered the father. “How
foolish you are! Of course, I didn’t. ’ ’
And then he added, with a faraway look
in his eyes, “I wish to heaven I had.
He held four aces.”
CAPACIOUS COMMANDMENTS
“A little girl at our morning serv
ice yesterday,” said the Rev. James E.
Craig, “knelt beside her mother while
the Commandments were being read.
When the rector read: ‘ On these two
commandments hang all of the law and
the prophets,’ the little girl whispered:
“ ‘Mamma, how many’
“ ‘ Sh! ’ hissed her mamma.
“ ‘But, mamma, how’ many prophets
are there?’
“ ‘Why, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Zephaniah,
Ilabbakuk, Jonah, Haggai, Malachi,
dearie. I can’t think of all of them
without looking them up, but I fancy
there must have been about twenty.’
“ ‘Twenty? And they hanged ’em all
on two commandments?’ ”—Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
A thankful heart is not only the great
est virtue, but the parent of all other
virtues.—Cicero.
HOW HE TOOK THE PICKLE.
The physician had been treating a man
for dyspepsia for a long time, and final
ly, wishing to know how his patient was
coming on, ho told him to take a dill
pickle just before going to bed and see
if he could hold it on his stomach over
night. The next day the man called and
the physician asked him the result.
‘ ‘ Oh, it was all right, doctor, ’ ’ he said,
“as long as I W’as a,wake; but when I
went to sleep it rolled off.”
J. L. BURNETT,
President Burnett Wall
Company—“Better Be
Than Sorry.”
FOILED AGAIN.
“If you were asked to get ready to
start next Thursday on a long journey,
do you think you could do so!” asked
her rich omploycr, who was a widower.
“Oh, I—much would depend upon the
kind of journey it was to be,” she re
plied.
“I mean a pleasant journey—a jour
ney that' would last for a month or
more.'”
“And should I have company on the
journey!”
‘ ‘ Well, I hadn’t thought of that. No, I
don’t believe you would. I should ex
pect you to go alone.”
‘ ‘ Then I don’t believe I could get
ready, ’ ’ she said, turning to her type
writer and making four mistakes in the
first line of the letter she had begun.—
Chicago Record-Herald.
HIS WEAPON.
Paper.
Safe
E. Trowbridge Dana, grandson of the
poet Longfellow, who was recently mar
ried in Cambridge with a beautiful ritual
of his own composition, said the other
day to a reporter:
“If all couples gave to marriage the
profound thought and reverence that
my wife and I give to it, there would be
fewer mismatings.
“The average married pair, it some
times seems to me, are like the Binkses.
“ ‘Pa,’ said little Tommy Binks one
day, ‘what’s a weapon!’
“•‘A weapon, my son,’ Binks an
swered, ‘is something to fight with.’
“ ‘Then, pa,’ said little Tommy, ‘is
ima your weapon!’ ”
. ’si
While You Work—Plan
You don’t always expect to toil and
struggle just to make a living.
Today—this week—this month, you
have health and strength to turn into
Dollars, but you have no right to spend
All These Dollars; tomorrow you will
Need them.
So while you work for dollars, Plan
to save some of them to work for You.
Start Your Savings Account the next
pay day—One Dollar will start an ac
count in this Strong Progressive Bank.
4°Jo on Savings
Travelers Bank & Trust Co.
56 Peachtree St. Branch, 297 Marietta St.