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THE ATL ANTI AN
SAVINGS
Systematic Savings will elevate a person and
change him from a creature of circumstance to a
position in society with the respect of his fellows.
This bank makes a specialty of savings ac
counts, which may be started with as little as
one dollar. We pay interest at the rate of 4 per
cent, per annum, compounded semi-annually.
Any amount deposited before the 10th month
of the will draw interest from the first of that
month.
Start an account with the City Saving Bank
at once and experience that feeling of self-respect
and confidence which comes from being inde
pendent.
THE CITY SAVING BANK
15 E. ALABAMA ST.
A CHANGE OP VENUE.
“There’s a dead horse on Kosciusko
Street,” announced a Brooklyn patrol
man, coming into the station after his
day on duty.
‘‘Well, make out a report,” ordered
the sergeant.
‘‘Why, you make out the reports,
dont’ you, Sergeant!”
‘ * I don’t. Make out your own reports.
You’ve passed your civil service exam
inations. ’ ’
Mike equipped himself with a pen and
began scratching laboriously. Presently
the scratching stopped. ‘‘Sergeant,” he
asked, ‘‘how do you spell Koscuiskof”
‘‘G’wan. You’re writing that report.”
An interval of silence, more scratching
of the pen, more silence. Then: ‘‘Ser
geant, . how do you spell Koscuisko
Street T”
‘‘Stop bothering me,” the sergeant
ordered. ‘‘Do you think I’m an infor
mation bureau!”
Pretty soon the patrolman got up,
clapped on his helmet, and started for
the door.
‘‘Where you goin’!” demanded the
sergeant.
‘‘I’m a-goin ’, ’ ’ said the policeman,
‘‘to drag that dead horse around into
Myrtle Avenue. ’ ’—Everybody’s Maga
zine.
CERTAINLY IT DID.
‘‘Did your watch stop when it dropped
on the floor!” asked one man of his
friend.
‘‘Sure,” was the answer. “Did you
think it would go through!”
INDISPUTABLE PROOF.
Little Virginia, seven years old, re
cently started to private school and is
hearing many things about culture and
refinement. Her mother is very careful
about the children with whom Virginia
plays, and wishes to know all about them
before intimacy is permitted. The other
day Virginia had been playing with some
children.
“What children!” asked mother.
She was told of some new children that
had moved into the neighborhood.
“But,” said mother, “you know I
have told you not to play with children
unless I know them and say it is all
right. I don’t know anything about
these children.”
“But, mother, they are perfectly cul
tured and refined.”
“How do you know they are cultured
and refined!” asked the mother,
amused.
“Well, they have two automobiles in
the family,” replied the little one with
decision.
HIS MATCH.
Dr. Lyman Abbott is an anti-suffrag-
ist, and many are the sharp shafts that,
to speak figuratively, he plants quivering
in the suffrage cause’s side.
At a tea in New York, however, Dr.
Abbott met his match in Mrs. Rose Pas
tor Phelps-Stokes.
“You are interested, I believe, mad
am,” he said, “in woman’s rights!”
“No; woman’s wrongs,” Mrs. Phelps-
Stokes retorted.
THE DAYS WE CELEBRATE.
The ghost of Thanksgiving Day and
the ghost of the Fourth of July met in
that debatable land where spirits wander
and brag. The Thanksgiving ghost was
plethoric with turkey, and had the sanc
timonious air of one who has overeaten
himself in the cause of religion. The
Fourth of July ghost was badly singed
and smelt of gun-powder. He looked
askance at the comfortable rotundity of
his neighbor. ‘ ‘ After all, ’ ’ he observed
sharply, ‘ ‘ you are not the national holi- j
day. ’ ’
The Thanksgiving ghost smiled broad
ly. ‘ ‘ Those fellows in Philadelphia j
meant well, ’ ’ he said, * ‘ but they mistook '
their season. What do you feed on! j
Ice cream and soda water. And you call
yourself a patriot! ’ ’
‘ ‘ I stand for a cause, ’ ’ said the Fourth
of July.
“I stand for consumption,” said
Thanksgiving.
‘ ‘ Battles were fought in my name, ’ ’ j
said the Fourth of July.
‘ ‘ Bottles are drain in my honor, ’ ’ |
said Thanksgiving.
“Hundreds of children are offered up;
to me every year,” said the Fourth of
July.
“Thousands of turkeys lay down their
lives at my shrine,” said Thanksgiving.
“Orators shout my praises,” said the
Fourth July.
‘ ‘ Preachers proclaim my goodness, ’ ’
said Thanksgiving.
“I defied the British, and I fought
them,” said the Fourth of July.
“I stole from the Indians, and I kill
ed them,” said Thanksgiving.
“I scorch myself to assert the free
dom of the people,” said the Fourth of
July.
“I gorge myself to prove their pros
perity,” said Thanksgiving.
‘ ‘ I swear that I can never be beaten, ’ ’
said the Fourth of July.
F. M. BULLOCH,
^Southern Railway.
“I give thanks that I am not as other
men,” said Thanksgiving.
“You are a hypocrite,” said the
Fourth of July.
“You are a braggart,” said Thanks
giving.
Just then two other ghosts drew near.
One of them looked uncommonly like
C. J. DOBBS,
Treasurer Lodge 302, Who Will
Be Re-Elected to the Office
Without Opposition.
a scarecrow. 'The other wore a liberty
cap and flaunted the tri-color.
“There is Guy Fawkes Day,” said
the Fourth of July.
“There is the Fourteenth of July,”
said Thanksgiving.
' ‘ How foolish in England to celebrate
the discovery of a plot which never ex
isted, ” said the Fourth of July.
“How foolish in France to celebrate
the destruction of a beautiful fortress
by a mob,” said Thanksgiving.
The four ghosts met, saluted, and
went their ways. “I believe those for
eigners were saying something deroga
tory to our dignity,” said the Fourth
of July.
“Just like their impertinence,” said
Thanksgiving.
—Agnes Repplier.
A JUST WAGE.
An Indian being asked what he did
for a living, replied:
“Oh, me preach.”
“Preach!” said the questioner;
“what do you get for it?”
“Sometimes me get fifty cents, some
times one dollar. ’ ’
“Well, don’t you think that is mighty
poor pay!”
“Oh, yes,” slowly replied the Indian,
“but it’8 mighty poor preaching.”
The shortest life is long enough if it
lead to a better one; and the longest life
too short if it do not.—Colton.