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THE ATLANTIAN
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:YOU:
YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR FRIENDS
ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO ATTEND
THE GRAND BALL
GIVEN BY
The Drum, Bugle Corps and Drill Team
KIBLA TEMPLE No. 123
DRAMATIC ORDER KNIGHTS OF KHORASSAN
Wednesday Evening, December 11th 1912
AT
THE CENTRAL DANCING ACADEMY
65ft EAST ALABAMA STREET
Floor and Music the Best in Town. Good Time Assured.
EIGHT-THIRTY P. M TO ELEVEN-THIRTY P. M.
GENTLEMEN 50c.
LADIES FREE.
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A HYPOCRITICAL QUESTION.
(By a contributor who prefers anonym
ity.)
Doctor, assume that this defendant here
Had lived like any other normal boy
For twenty years and nothing queer
Had shown itself. He found his great
est joy
In baseball, hunting, fishing, and the like,
Until one moonlight night he rowed a
girl
Across the lake. Her father’s name is
Mike,
Her hair is red and innocent of curl;
Her nose is freckled like a turkey’s egg,
And pug too boot. Her figure we dis
miss
With one remark—’twas like a young
beer keg.
An then he took to writing verse like
this:
Now, in the light of modern theory,
Could moonshine have brought on
such lunacy!
—Green Bag.
FIRST SIGNS.
Mary—I’m positive Fred loves me and
intends to make me his wife.
Helen—Has he proposed yet!
Mary—No; but ho dislikes mother
more every time he sees her.
THE REASON.
His Wife—What makes you so tired,
dear! Weren’t you at the chess club all
evening!
Her Husband—Yes, I was at the eliess
club; but it was just one move after an
other.
IN CORN TIME.
Mrs. Taft tells a story about a little
country-weeker who sat under a tree, one
August afternoon, with a strained, anx
ious look on his face and both hands
folded upon his stomach.
“What’s the matter with him! Is he
ill!” a visitor asked.
“Oh, no, ma’am; he ain’t 111,” said
the farmer’s wife: “but no stomach of
that size can stand eleven ears of corn. ’ ’
BUSINESS A DRAWBACK.
Old Gentleman—Now, kiddies, do yon
want mo to have a game of romps with
you, eh!
Youngsters—Oh, no! We are playing
at Indians, and you’re no use. You’re
scalped already! ’ ’—Punch.
UNDESIRABLE NEIGHBORS.
Gont—So the polico made you send
your chickens away! Why?
Kid—Because the neighbors were
using foul language.
A NEW EXCUSE.
“How does it happen that you are
five minutes late at school this morn
ing?’’ the teacher asked, severely.
“Please, ma’in,” said William, “I
must have overwashed myself. ’ ’—Har
per’s Magazine.
HORRID THING!
Miss Homely—Perhaps you won’t be
lieve it, but a strange man tried to kiss
mo once.
Miss Cutting—Really? Well, he’d have
been a strange man if he’d tried to kis?
you twice.
ON ELECTION DAY.
The proposal to strengthen the secrecy
of the ballot by voting by mail reminded
Senator Williams of an election day
story.
‘‘Voting by mail,’’ he said, “is a
radical proposition that I’d hesitate to
advocate without further study; but I
do most heartily favor inviolable secrecy
as regards the ballot.
“Even a harmless curiosity about the
ballot is contemptible. A Salina grocer
said to a littl girl, one election day:
“ ‘Who is your father going to vote
for this morning, my dear?’
“ ‘I don’t know,’ the little girl an
swered.
“ ‘Will he vote the Republican tick
et?’
“ ‘I don’t know.’
“ ‘I wonder if he’ll vote Democrat!’
“ ‘ I don’t know. ’
“ ‘He wouldn’t vote Prohibition,
surely !’
“ ‘ I don’t know'. ’
“Tho grocer, as he tied up the little
girl’s package, sneered:
“ ‘Weil, you don’t know much, and
that’s a fact.’
“ ‘You know less,’ the little girl an
swered, ‘or you wouldn’t be asking so
many questions.’ ”
SUFFRAGE AND SANITY.
The daughters of tho household, ar
dent suffragists, W'ere talking polities in
Louisville, says the Courier-Journal.
“Taft will sweep the country,” de
clared Mabel.
“Wilson will sweep the country,” as
serted Maud.
“Roosevelt will sweep the country,”
answered Margaret.
At this point dad took a hand.
“Never mind about who’s going to
sweep the country,” said he. “Who’s
going to sweep the kitchen!”
AUNTY’S CONSISTENCY.
‘ ‘ Did you ever see anyone so afraid of
draughts as Aunt Martha?”
“No; she’d put on a wrap if she
eamo into the room and found a bureau
drawer open. ’ ’
BORROWING TROUBLE.
Blight—What is your idea of borrow
ing trouble!
Tight—Letting the neighbors use your
telephone.
AND IN A HURRY.
First Magnate—My doctor advised me
to take a trip abroad for my health, but
I am not going.
Second Magnate—My lawyer gave me
the same advice, and I am going.
SOCIAL AMENITIE.
“Husband, I feel that we ought to
give the people next door a dinner, or
something. ’ ’
“Why so? They have never done any
thing for us in a social way.”
“Yes, they have. I learn that they
fed our cat w’hile we were away.”
THE CAUSE.
“Why has Sarah such a sad face!”
“Her face makes her sad, I suppose.”
“Do you believe in Platonic friend
ship!” he asked.
“Not,” she replied, “as long as there
is a chance for anything else.”—Chicago
Record Herald.
W. A. SLATE,
Assistant Chief Conductor Div.
457, Who Will Be Elected
Chief at the Annual Election of
Officers Sunday.
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W. E. TREADWELL & CO.
Real Estate Agents
Loans Made on Atlanta “Dirt”
Rate of Interest 5 to 8 Per Cent
LONG OR SHORT TIME
Call and See Us.
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24 South Broad Street