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THE ATLANTIAN.
BEAUTIFUL CHINA
For
Birthday
and
Wedding
Presents
Send for Catalog
And Remember
the Name
EDWARD C. LYCETT,
The Original Lycett—Head of the
Lycett China Store, 70 White
hall St.
Rememb er
We have no
Branch Stores
TROUBLES OP THE RICH.
“No, Gladys,” said tho kind-hearted
mother, “you cannot have new diamonds
tliis year. The old ones, I know, are
shabby, but they will have to do. We
must economize this winter.”
The only reply Gladys made was to
pout.
“And you, Adolphus Edward,” con
tinued tho fond parent, “will have to
get along with your live automobiles.
Wo can't get you the three more on
which you have set your heart.”
“And why,” asked tho youth, “must
we scrimp and save! Why can’t we live
like other people! Isn’t the old man
making money!”
“Yes, children; your father is doing
fairly well, but we must be cautious in
our expenditures for a time. Remember
your father has a legislature to buy this
fall.”—Coming Nation.
IT DIDN’T MATTER TO HIM.
“Oh, thank you,” said a lady to a
laborer who gave her his seat in a crowd
ed car; “thank you very much.”
*‘ That’s all right, mum, ’ ’ was the
cheerful rejoinder. As the lady seated
herself he added: ‘ ‘ Some men niver get
up unless a woman’s young an ’ pretty,
but you see, mum, it makes no differ
ence to me.”
IT LOOKS LIKE IT.
*•Who can describe a caterpillar!” ask
ed the teacher.
“I can, teacher,” shouted Tommy.
“Well, Tommy, what is it!”
“An upholstered worm.”
THE WRONG KIND.
A strapping German, with big beads
of perspiration streaming down his face,
was darting in and out among the aisles
of a department store.
Ilis excited actions attracted the at
tention of all the salespeople, and they
hardly knew what to make of it. A
hustling young man of the clothing de
partment walked up and asked:
“Arc you looking for something iu
men’s clothing!”
“No,” he roared, “not men’s cloth
ing; vimmin’s clothing, I can’t find my
wife! ”
In November the harvest is gathered;
Thanksgiving brings praise and good
cheer;
We thank the good Lord for the bless
ings
He sends us all through the year.
Thank God for rest, where none molest,
And none can make afraid;
For Peace that sits as Plenty’s guest
Beneath the homestead’s shade.
Oh, favors, every year made new!
Oh, gifts, with rain and sunshine sent!
Tho bounty overruns our due,
The fullness shames our discontent.
—John Greenleaf Whittier.
“Did youse git anything!” whispered
the burglar on guard as his pal emerged
from the wondow.
“Naw; do bloke wot lives here is a
lawyer,” replied the other in disgust.
“Dat’s hard luck,” said the first;
“did youse lose any t’ing!”—Ohio s >-
Journal.
OPPORTUNITIES LOST.
The moon was kind,
But he was blind
And couldn’t see
The moon was kind
As kind could be.
In his canoe
He hugged the shore;
And She sat, too,
In his canoe.
tie didn’t do
A blamed thing more!
In his canoe
He hugged—the shore.
—T. A. Daly, in the New York Morning
Sun.
GETTING ’ROUND IT.
Senator Root was talking about a cer
tain resourceful corporation.
“They can get around anything,” he
said, a touch of admiration in his voice.
“They remind me of a Narragansett
girl.
“A Narragansett girl, driving a sixty-
horsepower gray roadster, admitted:
“ ‘Yes, I’ve accepted David.’
“ ‘Why,’ said the girl beside her, ‘you
told me positively that if David pro
posed to you, your answer would be a
word of two letters. ’
“The other gill, blushing a little,
said softly:
“ ‘But I answered Dave in Ger
man. ’ ’ ’
A RESEMBLANCE.
‘ ‘ Your husband says he leads a dog’s
life,” said one woman.
“Yes, it’s very similar,” answered the
other. “He comes in with muddy feet,
makes himself comfortable by tho fire
and waits to be fed. ’ ’
T. T. STEVENS,
Member Local Grievance Com
mittee Southern Railway, and
Popular Passenger Conductor,
' Division—Also Member
7 O. R. C.
LITTLE DORIS’S IDEA.
A cat in Mrs. Jones’s family had given
birth to some kittens, which greatly
pleased little Doris, who wanted to hold
them. So one day her mother put one in
her lap and continued reading. This is
what she heard:
“Oo’s a nice ’ittle kitty, oo’s a cute
’ittle kitty. I know oo’s muvver very
well, but I don’t know oo’s fader. He
must be a traveling man.”
Doris’s father was a traveling sales
man.
FOR EMERGENCIES.
In some of the college settlements there
are penny savings banks for children.
One Saturday a small boy arrived with
an important air and withdrew two cents
from his account. Monday morning he
promptly returned the money.
‘ ‘ So you didn’t spend your two
cents,” observed the worker in charge.
‘ ‘ Oh, no! ” he replied, ‘ ‘ but a fellow
just likes to have a little cash on hand
over Sunday.”—Harper’s Magazine.
NEVER ON.
Senator Penrose, on a visit to Atlantic
City, rang for a bellboy to take a tele
gram, but it was not until the twelfth
or thirteenth ring that the boy appeared.
“You’ve been a long time coming,”
said the senator.
“Yes, sir,” said the boy. “You see,
sir, it’s our dinner hour.
Senator Penrose smiled grimly.
“I know why you bellboys are called
‘Buttons,’ ” he said. “You’re always
off.”
LITERARY SAWS.
The late Adrian H. Joline of New
York was distinguished as a writer no
less than as a lawyer, and an address of
his before the Grolier Club is still remem
bered for the many literary aphorisms
it contained.
Among these aphorisms were:
‘ ‘ Fine leathers do not make fine works.
“Circumstances alter bookcases.
‘ ‘ Authors will happen, even in the best-
regulated families.
“Never look a gift book in the bind
ing.
‘ ‘ A roving manuscript gathers no
dross. ’ ’
THESE GOOD LOSERS.
“Bald Jack Rose,” said a central of
fice man, “had developed during his im
prisonment a vein of philosophy.
‘ ‘ Rose and I were discussing a gambler
the other day. We analyzed bis charac
ter pro and con. I was rather for him,
Rose against.
“ ‘Well, at least,’ I said ‘you must
admit he’s a good loser.’
“ ‘Yes, he’s a good loser,’ Rose
agreed; ‘he don’t care what his wife has
to go without.’ ”
DERIVED ACQUAINTANCE.
Ethel—Why did you take off your hat
to that girl! You don’t know her, do
you!
Jack—No—er—but my brother does.
And this is his hat.—Princeton Tiger.