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12 THE ATLANTIAN YOU WILL FIND AT CONE’S Hundreds of Appropriate Christmas Gifts. Priced From 10c to $25.00. Remember that you always receive the best possible prescription service regardless of the season. We never permit outside lines to interfere with our standardized prescription service. CONE’S Sixty Whitehall Street and Kimball House Block “A GOOD DRUG STORE.” J AMUSING STORIES ABOUT WELL-KNOWN PERSONS. NOW, WHO’S GREATER? Senator O’Gorman was discussing with a friend the careers of two successful college men. One of these had just been made a judge, the other a bishop, and the Senator’s friend remarked: “I think a bishop is a greater man than a judge. A judge, at the most, can only say. ‘You bo hanged! ’ but a bishop can say, * You bo damned! ’ ” “Yes,” replied the Senator, “but if the judge says, ‘You be hanged!’ you are hanged.” THE VERY LATEST. A woman, whoso husband hud acquired rocent wealth, had just returned from a trip abroad. Attending a concert, she ■was seated next to a woman of high so cial standing, who began talking to her, and finally asked: “Did you attend the opera while you woro abroad!” “Oh, yes,” answered the newly rich, ‘ ‘ I went tol several of them. ’ ’ “Indeed! V said the other, “and which one did you enjoy most!” “Well, I think I liked ‘Asbestos’ best. ” ‘ ‘ Asbestos! ’ ’ exclaimed the society woman. “I never heard of such an opera. ’ ’ “Well,” said the other, “I didn’t know for sure what the name was until I Baw it on the curtain, and it cer tainly read ‘Asbestos’.” UNCLE ZEKE SAYS: You kin always cross de river at de place wliar hit’s braggin ’ de loudes ’. A rooster ain’t nebber laid aigs, but no rooster ain’t obber tried. Hit’s better to let de insurance folks cry dan hub yo’ wife do hit. Tain’t wrong to be po’, but hit’s daw- gone improvident. Only a foolish man hunts scratch cats wid a beanshooter. EVEN SO. “I hear you are hobnobbing with ,7. P. Morgan now. ’ ’ “Olt, no; we just happened to have a few words together. ’ ’ “What did you talk about!” “He told me to get out of his way, and I told him to go to thunder.” A SERIOUS LACK. An old Englishwoman, who was ex tremely stout, was making vain efforts to enter the rear door of an omnibus. The amused driver leaned over good- naturedly, and said, in a confidential tone: “Try sideways, mother; try side ways. ’ ’ The old woman looked up breathlessly, and replied: “Why, bless ye, .lames, I ain’t got no sideways. ’ ’—Youth’s Companion. I used to think that friendship meant happiness; I have learned that it means discipline.—Brown. POOR SUBSTITUTE. A gentleman who was once stopped by an old man begging, replied, “Don’t you know, my man, that fortune knocks once at every man’s door?” “Yes,” said the old man, “he knocked at my door once, but I was out, and ever since, then he has sent his daughter. ” “His daughter?” replied the gentle man. ‘ ‘ What do you mean ? ’ ’ ‘ ‘ Why, Miss Fortune. ’ ’ W. A. SIMS, Vice-Pres. Guarantee Trust & Banking Co., Cashier, City Sav ings Bank. HOW THE TROUBLE STARTED Two copy boys on the New York Evening World were having an acri monious discussion one afternoon as they sat on their bench next to the city editor’s desk. “I guess they never named any towns for you,” said one. “Maybe not,” said the other; “but there’s a town up yonder in New Eng land named for you, all right. ’ ’ “What town is that?” asked the first boy, falling into the trap. “Marblehead,” said the other. At this point the first blow was struck. THE RETORT COURTEOUS. A crowd of juvenile American Rep resentatives were returning home one evening after attending a lecture in a small country town in Maine. “What did the lecturer say when you threw those cabbages at him, Will?” asked one of the crowd, who had se cured only standing room in the rear. “Oh, he said he had hoped the audi ence would be pleased, but he really had not anticipated that they would entirely loso their heads.” ON THE SAFE SIDE. “Oh, darling, you should not be frightened and run from the dog. Don’t you know you are a Christian Scien tist?” ‘ ‘ But, mama, ’ ’ cried the little girl, ex citedly, ‘ * the dog doesn’t know it! ”