The Atlantian (Atlanta, Ga.) 19??-current, April 01, 1913, Image 20

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20 THE ATLANTIAN Shoes for Men and Women f Wc Handle the BOSTONIAN SHOE ii t STRICTLY UNION MADE “NOT-A-SEME” HOSE —NONE BETTER— ! Visit Our Basement Bargains NO STORE HAS A LOWER PRICE THAN OUR S. 25 WHITEHALL ST. 5HDE5 fob EVERYBODY Bell Phone Main 271 KNEW HIS GEOGRAPHY. (From Tho National Monthly). A prominent theatrical manager of New York City strolled into one of the loading hotels of tho metropolis with Col. William F. Cody, and met Jim Thorn ton, tho eccentric inonologist. Tho manager greeted Mr. Thornton and, turning to Cody, said, "I would like to have you meet my friend here, Mr. Thornton. “Mr. Thornton, this is Col. William F. Cody, better known as Buffalo Bill. Mr, Thornton, gripping tho Wild West showman’s hand, said, “Glad to know you, Bill. What part of Buffalo are you from?” RALPH 0. COCHRAN, Newly Elected Member of the Gen eral Assembly from Fulton County A CHANGE OF HABITS. (From Tho New York Tribune). “If tho high cost of living keeps on tho rich themselves will feel the pinch of it.” Tho speaker was Brand Whitlock, May or of Toledo. He continued: “I know a Toledo banker who has al ready begun to retrench, llis daughter said to him tho other day: “ ‘Father, dear, I need a new fall rid ing habit. ’ “ ‘Can’t afford it,’ the banker growl ed. “ ‘But, father, what am I to do with out a riding habit?’ ‘ ‘ ‘ Got tho walking habit. ’ ’ ’ LOCATED AT LAST. “Oh, Ma’am, I’vo swallowed a safety pin. ’ ’ “So that’s where my safety pins go, is it?” Two ladies were hurrying down tho street, the rain whipping at them so they were obliged to carry their umbrellas low for protection. In turning a corner sharply tho point of one umbrella struck a man in the forehead. “Heavens!” gasped the woman, “I’ll keep an eye out in the future.” “Begorra!” exclaimed the man, “ye nearly had one out in the prisint. ’ ’—Ex change. AWKWARD SITUATION. Marion, aged seven, had just returned from Sunday School and was duly im pressed with tho instruction she had re ceived. “Mother,” she said, gravely, “if I should die, would I go to heaven?” “Why, yes, darling; of course you would. ’ ’ “And if you should die, would you go to heaven, too ? ’ ’ “I hope so, dear.” “I hope so, too; because it would be ; very awkward for mo to be known as tho little girl whose mother is in hell.” DONE IN THE MAKING. (From Tho Chicago Tribune). “Hello! Is that the information edi tor?” “Yes.” “I want to ask you a question, to set tle a dispute. Does freezing spoil a parsnip?” “ No; you can’t spoil a parsnip. That all? Good-by.” NO SINECURE. (From Harper’s Weekly). “Why do you keep pestering me for money all tho time?” demanded old Closcfist, as his son begged for a few dollars extra. “Why don’t you go out somewhere and work for it?” “Gee, dad,” replied the boy, “is there any harder work anywhere than getting a dollar out of you?” THE DIAGNOSIS. (From Tho Washington Herald). “Doctor, whenever I sco a lake or a pond I feel like plunging in. Whenever I am near water I have an almost un controllable impulse to plunge in, just as I am.” “Hum! Hum! Seems queer. Now tell me. Has our wifo been feeding you excessively on flsli?” THE POOR DEAR. Regular Customer—“I shall want a large quantity of flowers from you next week, for my daughter’s coming out.” Flower Woman—“Yes, mum. You shall ’avo tho very best for ’or, pore dear. Wot wero she put in for?”—Punch. A DIFFERENCE IN TERMS. A negro maid who overheard the mas ter of tho house reading aloud from the paper an account of tho Titanic caught tho name of John Jacob Astor. Later slio said to tho mistress: “Well, who’s dat Disaster I heard yo’ speakin’ about yesterday?” REAL EXCITEMENT. Husband (cheerily)—“Well, love, have you had a pleasant day?” Wife—“Oh, splendid! After I dressed tho children and got them off, washed the dishes and made some pies, cleared away the luncheon table and answered some letters, I still had time enough left to darn my stockings.” A JOB LOT. (From Tho Kansas City Journal). .. “And now tho merchant assembles all his old junk on a table and labels it 10 'cents a grab.” “What’s that?” “And puts up a placard; ‘Suitable Gifts for Father.’ ” ONE TREATMENT SUFFI CIENT. “I have never been whipped but once,” announced tho boastful man, “and strango to say, it was for telling • tho truth.” “It cured you,” ventured the meek man quietly. Yaarab Temple Patrol and Degree Team, on to Dallas, Texas.