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4 THE ATLANTIAN HONORABLE BUT REMOTE. A man, well past middle life, who bad spent his years getting rich, and who never had any time to devote to the ladies and similar frivolities, began paying attention to a certain young lady. Her father, a prudent man, waited for what he considered a reasonable time for the suiter to proj*ose. But the suitor seemed satisfied with things as they were, so father took the matter into bis own hands. “Cyrus, you’ve been settin’ up with Dora, takin* her to picnics, and to church and buggy ridin’ as though you’d had the inside track. An’ nothin’s come of it. Now I’d like to know your intentions, as man to man. ’ ’ “Well, I’ll tell you as man to man, and there ain’t no cause for you to ruffle your shirt. My intentions is honorable— but remote.’’ STUNG. Little Harold wanted a bicycle. So his mother told him to pray for one, which he did faithfully every night. In the meantime, both parents consulted and came to the conclusion that their son was too small to have a bicycle. They bought him a velocipede instead. After the little fellow had retired they placed it beside his bed, and the next morning they watched developments from the hallway, through the half-opened > door. Harold rose and sat upon the edge of the bed, his eyes directed to the veloci pede. And in a voice of thorough dis gust, he said: “Oh, God. don’t you know the differ- 1 ence between a velocipede and a bicy cler” ROBERT’S OBSERVATION. The family was at the dinner table one evening, when a man, a friend, dropped in. He had been moving and his ap-1 pearanee was not of the neatest. He : excused himself for looking as he did. and then, turning to the youngest, of the family, a boy of five, said: “I look just like a tramp, don’t I Robert r ’ ’ “Yes,” promptly answered the young ster. The mother, trying to set matters aright, said: 1 ‘ Why, Robert doesn *t know what a tramp is. ” “Yes, I do,” the little fellow cried out. “I seen one on a movin’ picture once. He stole a pie off the window-sill. ’ ’ FIGHTING BLOOD. Two men who really did not want to fight, but who had got the idea that it would be disgraceful not to do so, fell to blows. Friends rushed in and held each contestant firmly. Warrior Number One, seeing the ex tremely violent efforts of Warrior Num ber Two to break away, cried out: “More of you men hold Swanson! One man can hold me! ’'—Everybody’s Magazine. * * But how can you be papa’s girl and mamma’s girl at the same time!” “Well,” replied the tot after a mo ment’s reflection, “can’t a nice carriage have two horses ?”—Ex. is risen, indeed”; when all the world will tread in His footsteps; and when all the world shall rejoice in the happiness which can come only from that individual and national righteousness which is the badge of the followers of the risen Christ. A Forward Movement The Chamber of Commerce, under the virile presi dency of Mr. Wilmer L. Moore, has recently organized a movement which resulted in one hundred per cent, gain in membership in one week. Now more than 1,600 active members are lined up to push forward the w r ork which is the province of the Chamber. And that province is very wide. The Cham-: ber is the one civic organization to which every good citi zen can belong, irrespective of his religion, his politics or his personal opinions. It occupies a vantage ground pos sessed by no other organization. When it speaks its voice has that authority which naturally attaches to such an army of capable men whose common bond is the welfare of the home city. Its field of work is not limited by any canons, laws, precedents, traditions or prejudices. It has the right to “butt in” on anything which bears upon the general welfare of the community, and to its credit be it said, it has not been slack to assert that right. One recalls how six years ago, when a few men were fighting to eliminate the iniquitous bucket-shops from Georgia, the Chamber, after full and fair discussion, cast its influence against the bucket-shops, and it proved most potent and timely help. The President, the Directors and the membership of the exchange are to be congratulated on the great work recently done in increasing the membership, and good as its past work has been the public will now confi dently look for an enlarged usefulness. Workmen’s Compensation Bill The bill familiarly known as the Workmen’s Com pensation Bill is dead, and righteously so. Under the specious pretext of aiding the railroad men and putting them in a position of security as to com pensation for injuries it calmly took away their common law rights, and put them not only at the mercy of em ployers, but also gave them totally inadequate relief. When it looked as if the measure was about to go through Congress with a whoop there developed opposition among railroad men in Atlanta. The matter was brought to the attention of Senator Hoke Smith, who instantly saw the defects in the measure, and turned himself loose to de feat it. The sledding was not easy. It had already passed the Lower House and was pending in the Senate, with a strong following before Senator Smith got his oppor tunity. He made the most of his opportunity and by hold ing up the Senate in its closing hours, was able to put to sleep a measure which had in it more of promise and less of performance than any measure offered of late years. We understand that the railroad men of Atlanta are framing up resolutions of appreciation to Senator Smith for his services in this matter. Certainly they owe him so much, and as a rule they are not slack to acknowledge an obligation. LEARNING TABLE MANNERS. Alfred Gwynne Vanderbilt, dressed af ter the best English manner in a black, tight, long-tailed morning court, dark trousers, gray-topped boots and a silk hat worn at a rakish backward angle, discussed at the horse show his project of living part of the time abroad. ‘ ‘ Why shouldn’t one live a lot abroad?” he said. “They are not so bad over there. In dress, in books, in plays, in music—really, you know, in nearly everything—they are not so bad. “I fear we underrate them. I fear we are all too prone to regard the foreign er as he is regarded in the story of ‘ Count Sans Terre. ’ “ ‘Why, count,’ cried a friend, ‘look at your face. Such rapier cuts. Don’t you know that dueling is going out of fashion ?’ “ ‘I have not been dueling,’ growled the count. ‘It’s my American wife. She makes me eat with a fork.’ ” A MISUNDERSTANDING. Elihu Robt. at the Chamber of Com merce dinner in New York, said: “There are hundreds of thousands of people outside the great industrial com munities who think the Chamber of Com merce a den of thieves, who think that the manufacturers of the country are no better than a set of confidence men. ’ ’ Discussing this regrettable misunder standing afterward, Mr. Root smiled and said: “It is a misunderstanding that will come right in the end; but just now, if a rich man ventured to say to a poor man ‘I believe in putting by something for a rainy day,’ the poor man would sneer bitterly and reply: “ ‘Yes, that’s why me and my friends lose so many umbrellas.’ ” A HOPEFUL OUTLOOK. Discussing the turkey prospects for the holidays, H. Lynton Parker, one of Bal timore’s leading shippers, said: “The warm autumn has kept the birds thin. It has put some men out of busi ness. Turkey farming, you know, is no cinch. “I was commiserating the other day with a Delawarean who had had very bad luck with his turkeys. “ ‘Well, how are you doing now?’ I asked. “ ‘Worse than ever with my turks,’ he said, ‘but my hens have taken a turn for the better. ’ “ ‘How so?’ I asked. “‘Why,’ said he, ‘they’ve begun to eat their own eggs now, and so it looks to me as if they’d eventually become self- supporting. ’ ’ ’ NOT A FIT COMPANION. Robert was heard by his mother using language of which she did not approve. “Robert,” sho cried, “don’t you dare use any more suek language. I ’in ashamed of you. ’ ’ “Why, mother,” replied the bright boy, “Kipling does.” “He does? Then don’t you play with him any more.”