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THE ATLANTIAN
3
HE HAD SWORN OFF.
The young lady was painting—sunset,
red with blue streaks and green dots.
The old tramp—at a respectful dis
tance—was watching.
“ Ah! ” said the female artist, looking
up suddenly and pretending she hadn’t
known he was there all the time, “per
haps to you, too, Nature lias opened her
sky-pictures page by page? Have you seen
the lambent flame of dawn leaping across
the livid east; the red-stained, sulphur
ous islets floating in tlio lakes of mid
night, black as raven’s wings blotting out
the shuddering moon?’’
‘ ‘ No, mum, ’ ’ replied the tramp short
ly; “not since I gave up drink.”
UNINTERESTED.
‘ ‘ Who was it that said, ‘ After me
the deluge?’ ”
“Oh, I don’t know,” replied Mrs.
Cumrox. “I never pay any attention
to these weather prophets.”—Washing
ton Star.
A DEBT TO SCIENCE.
‘ ‘ What a debt wo owe to medical
science! ” he said, as he put down the
paper.
‘ ‘ Good heavens! ’ ’ she exclaimed.
“Haven’t you paid that doctor’s bill
yet?”—Chicago Post.
SMASH-UP.
CHEERFUL AND VERSATILE.
The cheerful agent stepped into the
business man’s private office and set his
grip on the floor.
“I have here,” said lie, “a patent
glass cutter for twenty-fivo cents. It is
known as—”
‘ ‘ Don’t need any glass cutter! ’ ’
snapped this business man.
“Ah, you don’t need a glass cutter 1
Well, then, I have here a vacuum clean
er that sells for forty dollars. It is now
in use in thousands of homes. It is— ’ ’
“I don’t need a vacuum cleaner.”
‘ ‘ Well, perhaps not; but then I have
something else here that will certainly in
terest you. It is a phonograph that re
tails for the small sum of eleven dollars.
There isn’t another phonograph in the
world that— ’ ’
“I wouldn’t buy a phonograph on a
bet! ’ ’ growled the business man, getting
red in the face.
“Well, I am surprised! But, then, I
have here a camera which sells for twen
ty-seven dollars. It will take the widest
scope— ’ ’
‘ ‘ No camera to-day! ’ ’ yelled the busi
ness man.
“Well, then, I have a four-liundred-
and-twenty-three-dollar automobile, which
combines all of the necessary points of
the higher priced machines and—”
‘ * For the love of Mike! ’ ’ screamed the
business man. “ I ’ll take a glass cut
ter. Here’s your quarter. Now, get
out! ”
‘ ‘ Thank you, ’ ’ said the agent. ‘ * That’s
all I had to sell in the first place.”—
Boston Globe.
Jack—“What sent poor Algy to an
insano asylum?”
Tom—“A train of thought passed
through his brain and wrecked it. ’ ’—
Boston Transcript.
01jr Atlatttimt
Box 118, Atlanta, Georgia
THE ATLANTIAN will give free space to all Secret Societies and Labor Or
ganizations.
On the other hand, we put everybody on notice when THE ATLANTIAN makes
a Statement which we believe to be true, and such Statement goes uncontroverted, we
shall insist that it is true.
Published Monthly by The Atlantian Publishing Co. o
VOL.
JUNE
No. 53
Our Motto: (, Pull for Atlanta, or Pull
Out.”
ii
Editorial Etchings
ii
The Fraternal Order of Eagles
No country in the world is so rich in Fraternal Socie
ties as our own, and in no other country has their work
presented such a tremendous aggregate of good results.
Prominent among these societies is the Order of
Eagles, which, originating on the Pacific Coast only
eleven years ago, now has an imposing membership of
1,500,000 members, and distributes immense sums in
benefits to its sick and disabled members each year.
It is the only order which grants sick benefits out of
current expenses without a special fund being created
for that purpose.
The wonderful growth of the Eagles has been due
not only to its excellent plans, but also largely to the
emphasis which the Order has always placed on the social
side of life, and which has made of its aeries (as the
lodges are called), most delightful places for the mem
bership.
The Eagles emphatically believe in diversion and en
tertainment, but they never let the main purpose be over
looked, as is evidenced by the fact that during the late
disastrous floods in the Middle West they poured out
from their treasuries for the relief of the flood sufferers
the magnificent sum of one hundred and fifty thousand
dollars ($150,000).
The order is powerful and popular in Atlanta, where
it contributes its full share to the relief of those upon
whom the burdens of life fall over heavily.
On June 16th, the Southeastern Division of the order,
embracing the states of Alabama, Georgia, Florida and
the Carolinas, will meet in Jacksonville, Fla., in delegated
convention, several thousand strong.
On August 6th, the General Convention of the Order
will be held in Baltimore, and that city is now arrang
ing for the reception of 75,000 enthusiastic Eagles, and
for such a celebration as the staid old city has not seen
in many years.
In this connection it is not amiss to touch upon the
work that has been done by our Fraternal Orders.
While the known statistics fall far below the actual
facts, it is a matter of record that the various fraternal
orders of the country have, in forty-five years, contrib
uted in sick and death benefits to the families of mem
bers the stupendous sum of one billion six hundred mil
lions of dollars ($1,600,000,000). This vast sum, which
it is difficult for the mind to grasp, is twice as much as
the assessed value of every dollar’s worth of property in
RANK STUFF.
“Ma wants two pounds of butter ex
actly like what you sent us last. If it
ain’t exactly like that, she won’t take
it, ’ ’ said the small boy.
Tho grocer turned to his numerous cus
tomers and remarked blandly: “Some
peoplo in my business don’t like partic
ular customers, but I do. It’s my delight
to serve them and get them what they
want. I will attend to you in a moment,
little boy.”
“Be sure to get the same kind,” said
tho small boy, while the storefull of cus
tomers listened to him. “A lot of pa’s
relations are visiting our house, and ma
doesn’t want ’em to come again.”—
Newark Star.
THE RULING PASSION.
The taxicab driver was about to receive
his sentence.
“Prisoner,” said tho judge, “I am
satisfied thero is no reasonable doubt of
your guilt. The evidence shows that you
drove tho deceased about tho city in your
taxicab for two hours, then took him to
a secluded place and strangled him and
stole his watch. Have you anything to
say before sentence is pronounced?”
“Yes, your honor.”
“What is it?”
“I’d like to know, your honor, who is
going to pay the cab hire?”—Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
HE NEEDED IT.
The proprietor of the second-hand
store was not so tidy as he might have
been. One day while standing in front of
the store an Irishman approached and
asked?”
“Hav yez anny clean shirts in yer
store ? ’ ’
“Sure I have,” answered the clothing
man, anxious for a sale. “Lots of them,
so clean as anything.”
“Well,” said the Irishman, moving
away „go in and put one wan of them
on. ”
A BIG DROP.
(From tho Washington Herald.)
“It’s all in the knowing how to sell,”
exclaimed the manager.
“So?”
“Yes; first you offer ’em this set of
Shakespeare at $100. If they shudder at
that, try ’em with this patent corkscrew
at 15 cents. ’ ’
A NATURAL QUESTION.
(From Everybody’s Magazine.)
An American mother was trying to
instill in her 7-year-old daughter a spirit
of patriotism whilo they were traveling
in Mexico.
‘ ‘ Doris, ’ ’ she said, ‘ ‘ this is George
Washington’s birthday. ’ ’
“Is it?” Doris queried indifferently.
“What’d ho get?”
RULES MUST BE OBEYED.
Mr. Johnsing—“Say, Mr. Dorman,
what am de meaning of dis here line on
de ticket whar it says, ‘not transfera
ble?”
Mr. Dorman—“Dat means, Brer
Johnsing, dat no gentlman am admitted
unless he comes hisself. ”—The Chris
tian Century.