Newspaper Page Text
12
THE ATLANTIAN
May, 1914
Poverty is no
disgrace, neither
is it a recom
mendation.
Every success
advises you to
Save—so should
every failure.
BiftM 1
The Easy.
Senator Pomroy, at a recent dinner
in Washington, said of the proposed
stock exchange regulation:
“I know, as an ex-president of the
New York Stock Exchange, that reg
ulation is needed. But unwise regula
tion, such as the postmaster general’s
censorship involves, would drive the
business of buying and selling stock to
unregulated quarters.
“And then the swindlers would
flourish,” he said, “for it is a fact that
there are many, many people as ‘easy’
us the moujik.
“A moujik, a Russian peasant, once
paid a visit to the city. While admir
ing the Kremlin, he noticed a lot of
crows flying about its gilded towers
and turrets. The crows were so many
he began to count them.
“A swindler saw that the moujik
looked easy, and seized him by the
arm. i
“ ‘Young man, what are you do
ing?” he demanded.
“ ‘Nothing sir, said the moujik;
‘nothing hut counting the crows.’”
HOMER ASHFORD,
Prominent in Yaarab Temple and
one of the leading spirits in the
famous Patrol.
He Never Erred Again.
“Now, look for the colonel, because
he’s coming to inspect the post,” said
the sergeant, as he marched off, leav
ing O’Brien doing his first outpost
duty.
Very full of his own importance
and responsibility, O’Brien took his
stand.
After an hour the sergeant return
ed.
“Colonel been yet?” he asked.
Receiving an answer n the negatve,
thegeant went away, and returned an
hour later, wth the same inquiry.
At last the colonel did appear, and
O’Brien, in his relief at seeing some
one after his long vigil, forgot all
about his instructions.
“Do you know who I am?” sternly
asked the superior officer, noticng that
the private had omitted to salute.
“Shure, an’ I don’t at all!” answer
ed the grinning recruit.
“I am the colonel!”
“Begorra, you’ll catch it, then!” re
marked Erin’s son. “The sergeant’s
been askin’ twice for ye already.”
Disguised.
“Physical culture is delightful,” said
a young girl enthusiast. “To develop
the arms I grasp this rod by one end
and move it slowly thus from right
to left.”
“Well! well!” exclaimed her father.
“What will science discover next? If
that rod had bristles at the other end
you’d be sweeping!”
DR. E. C. BROWN,
He will be around here when it
comes to feeding the Imperial
Council. Keep your eye on Ed.
A Novice.
“Have you any experience with
children?”
“No, ma’am. I always worked in
the best families.”—Philadelphia Pub
lic Ledger.
Candidate: Now, my friends, when
you vote, you don’t want to vote for
a pig in a poke; you want to vote for
me—and get the genuine article!—
London Opinion.
Mrs. Putton-Ayres had picked up a
few French phrases which she worked
into her talk on every possible occa
sion. Entering the butcher’s shop one
day she inquired if he had any “bon-
vivant.”
“Boned what, ma’am?” asked the
butcher, puzzled.
“Von-vivant,” she repeated. “That’s
the French for good liver, you know.”
—Boston Transcript.
“There is nothing the matter with
you,” persisted the Eddyite, “abso
lutely nothing. Can I, not convince
you?”
“Let me ask you a question?” re
plied the sick man.
“A thousand if you like.”
“Well, suppose a man has nothing
the matter wtih 'him, and he dies of
it, what didn’t he have the matter
with him?”—Philadelphia Press.
Greetings, Shriners !
We welcome you to our stores.
We have a full line of
Hosiery
Evening Slippers
and Dress Shoes
25 WHITEHALL ST.
GOOD 5HDES fob-EVERYBDDY-
Fred. S. Stewart Co.
25 Whitehall Street 40 Marietta Street