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14
THE ATLANTI AN
July, 1914
Savings Talks
While the love of money
is the root of evil, the need
of money is the cause of un
told suffering.
Those who can save and
don’t save are jeopardiz
ing their own well-being
and those dependent upon
them.
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At The Revival.
It was married men’s night at the
revival meeting.
Let all you husbands who have
troubles on you minds stand up!”
shouted the preacher.
Instantly every man in the church
arose except one.
“Ah!” exclaimed the preacher, peer
ing out at this lone individual, who
occupied a chair near the door. “You
are one in a million.”
“It ain’t that,” piped back this one
helplessly, as the rest of the congre
gation gazed suspiciously at him, “I
can’t get up—I’m paralyzed.”
Two Irishmen in the Town.
At the annual banquet of the Mich
igan Society of Chicago- Congressman-
at-Large Kelley of Michigan, was jok
ed by several speakers upon the pre
eminence of Irishmen in public life.
“That’s perfectly true; we always
get to the top,” answered Mr. Kelley,
when it came his time to speak. “I
remember an example of this that came
to my attention a few years ago when
I was making a trip through Minne
sota. I came to a small town in the
northern part of the state. One
glance at the signs on the stores show
ed that Scandinavians predominated.
Johnson, Nelson, Gustavson, Hilberg,
Olson, and like names were all that I
could see.
“ Any Germans here?’ I asked the
man I was visiting.
“‘There ban none-’ he said.
“ ‘Any Italians?’
“‘No,’ he answered.
“ ‘And no Irishman either, I sup
pose?’ I added.
‘ ‘0 yaas, there ban two Irishers in
town,’ came the reply. ‘One, he ban
mayor and other he ban chief police. ”
—Selected.
Catching Up With Yourself.
Most of the unhappiness, sorrow,
misery and disappointment in this
world, comes from the strife and strug
gle to obtain those luxuries and van
ities which are not necessary or even
good for us.
When we commence to see a bit
of clear sky in the financial horizon-
when we have nearly caught up, then
we take on a lot of new obligations
and struggle, ever at th'e catching-up
game. The more we play the game
the more of a habit it becomes.
Learn to have a liberal margin be
tween your incoming and outgoing
funds. Learn to enjoy what you
have.
His Knowledge Was Limited.
“I saw’ young Suburbo running a
new machine this morning.”
“Was it one of th'e latest models?”
“I really couldn’t say.”
“I thought you knew all about au
tomobiles.”
“So I do. But I don’t know any
thing about lawn mowers.”
“Who rises every time he falls with
sometime rise to stay.”—William Mor
ris.
The evening before the Fourth
brought together an unusual crowd in
the hotel lobby. Talk veered around
from the War of the Rebellion to the
Spanish War. One little man whose
looks belied his statement that he went
lo war when he was seventeen, tried to
entertain the group with almost im
possible yarns that he declared were
gospel truths. Finally, a tall, soldier
ly appearing young man, who had
been very silent- interrupted with:
“0, that’s nothing. In the Span
ish War I had a mighty interesting
experience.”
“Huh!” sneered the first speaker.
“What was the Spanish War? Noth
ing but a mere skirmish!”
“Well, I took four Spanish officers
alone and unaided.”
“Were they dead?”
“No, sir. Very much alive. And,
furthermore, I took twenty-five other
Spanish prisoners during the same
day.”
“What?” yelled the irate questioner.
“You’re the most elaborate liar I ever
met!”
“0, no, I’m not,” replied the young
er man. “I was only a newspaper
photographer at Portsmouth when the
Spanish prisoners were brought there.”
“Although the world is full of suf
fering- it is full of the overcoming
of it.”—Helen Keller.
The Mystery of Sleep.
It is impossible to give any precise
explanation of the phenomenon of
sleep. Yet many theories have been
advanced. Legendre has shown by
fairly conclusive arguments that it is
due neither to “brain pallor,” nor to
intoxication by carbonic acid, nor to
the presence of narcotic substances in
the blood, theories that have been in
turn advanced. Legendre intimates
his preference for the view that sleep
is not the result of fatigue, but is an
inherited instinct designed to protect
the organism against the ill effects of
f at igne.—Selected.
Merely Ornamental.
“I heard that you were going to be
married to Archie Blueblood, Esther.
Is it true?” asked one young society
woman of another.
“Be married to him? I should say
not! Why, I wouldn’t know what to
do with him! He can’t ride, play
tennis, golf or drive a motor car!”
“Well,” said the friend,-“he can
swim beautifully, you know.”
“You wouldn’t want a husband that
you had to keep in an aquarium would
you ?”—Tit-Bits.
“Keep your heart up and you’ll do.”
—Robt. Louis Stevenson.
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