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16
THE ATLANTIAN
September, 1914
GET THE HABIT!
Ice Cream Sodas
(Made from Pure Cream)
BROWN & ALLEN
(Reliable Druggist)
A CLERICAL ERROR.
A salesman traveling in the West,
and anxious about his home affairs,
wished to write his wife so that she
would answer immediately. He knew
an appropriate Bible verse, but did
not have a Bible handy to see if he
had the right reference. However,
trusting to his memory, he wrote:
Dear Wife: Proverbs xxv:24.
He received no answer to this, and
when he got home he asked his wife
why she had not written to him. She
got the Bible and showed the verse
to him.
“flood Heavens!” he said; “it
ought to have been Proverbs xxv :25.”
CUPID’S MARK.
Surely it’s a funny thing that when
Cupid hits his mark he generally Mrs.
it.
BARGAIN HUNTER INDEED.
Lola, aged five, was being shown
her twin brothers who had been born
the night before. Gazing upon them
reflectively she remarked:
“Well, I never saw such a woman
as Mamma for hunting bargains.”
A HANDY SUBSTITUTE.
“John,” asked Mary, “what is a
synonym?” “A synonym,” said John,
“is the word you use when you can’t I
spell the other one.”
WHY THEY WANTED IT
CHANGED.
The new play was in rehearsal, and
a delegation of actors approached the
manager. On being received the
spokesman said: “Sir, we have eotne
to ask that a portion of Mr. Brown’s
part be cut out.”
“What’s all this about? What part
do you want cut out?” bolstered the
manager.
“The part where he, as the disguis
ed Count, borrows five dollars. Every
time he thinks any of us has any
money he calls a rehearsal.’’
TAKING NO CHANCES.
Mr. Samuel Johnson, a colored
preacher, took some candidates down
to a river in Georgia. One of them,
noting some alligators in the stream,
instantly began to offer objections.
“Why, brother,” urged the pastor,
“can’t you trust the Lord? He took
care of Jonah, didn’t He?”
“Ya-a-s,” the darkey admitted hes
itatingly. “A whale’s got a memory,
but ef one o’ dem ’gators wuz ter
swaller dis yer nigger, he’d jes’ go ter
sleep dar in de sun an’ fergit all ’bout
mull.’’—S. C. Clakre, Rhode Island.
NEW BRAND.
Innocent Old Lady—“I hear a great
deal about this tango tea nowadays.
How much is it a pound?”—Life.
M. C. STRICKLAND,
Who ii running at a deputy with
Frank F. Smith for Tax Collector.
SOOME DEATH-PROOF SONGS.
“There are some songs that will
never die,” said the musical enthusiast.
“I guess that’s right,” said his
friend. “My daughter sits down at
the piano and tries to kill a few of
them every evening, but it’s no use.’’
WITH OR WITHOUT.
The ease had reached a critical stage.
Even the judge seemed to awaken to
a live interest in the proceedings, for
the most important witness was about
to be cross-examined. “So you are
the lady’s maid?” began the relent
less bnrritser.
“Yes, sir.”
“And where were you at seven
o'clock on the evening in question?”
“I was in my lady’s room, sir.”
“For what purpose?”
“I was dressing my lady’s hair,
sir.”
The barrister leaned forward and
spoke slowly and impressively.
“Now, think,” he said: “I want you
to be very' careful in answering this
question: Was or was not your mis
tress in the room at the time?”
THE DOCTOR’S SUGGESTION.
A man who was very vain of his
personal appearance went to the doc
tor one day and asked him to explain
a singular circumstance.
“Doctor,” he said, “my hair is per
fectly black, but my whiskers are turn
ing white rapidly. Now how do you
account for that?”
“Well,” replied the physician, “ I
don’t know, unless it is because your
jaws have worked a great deal har
der than your brains.”
o+o+o+o+o+o<
Atlanta Baggage & Cab Co.
ESTABLISHED 1865
Bonded Agents of All Railroads
Private Exchange - - Main 4000
t
Railroad, Passenger and Baggage
TRANSFER
Largest and Finest Equipment in the South
BAGGAGE CHECKED direct from your residence to destination
Baggage Transferred from one part of the City to another.
When ticket is purchased request ticket agent to check your
baggage from hotel or residence direct to destination
Offices and Agents at both Stations.
Agents on all incoming Trains
W. C. WILSON,
President and General Manager