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'THE ASLANT!AN
December, 1914
W. V. CROWLEY,
Secretary American Institute of Banking.
With American National Bank.
FRANK M. BERRY,
Asst. Cashier Fourth National Bank.
HENRY C. HEINZ,
Asst. Cashier Central Bank & Trust Corp.
Member Advisory Committee A. I. B.
1
Get the Habit!
Ice Cream
Sodas
[Made from Pare Cream)
BROWN & ALLEN
Reliable Druggists.
She Knew From Experience.
“What is conscience?” asked .the
Sunday school teacher.
There was a dead silence from the
class.
“Oh, you know,” she said encour
agingly. “What is it that tells us
when we do wrong?”
“I know,” said the littlest girl in
the class; “it’s Grandma.”
A Paradox.
‘Are you still talking about your
income tax?”
“Yes,” replied Mr. Dustin Stax. “I
can’t get my mind off it . It’s sure to
cause dissatisfaction. I’m resentful
because I have to pay so much and
yet I’m sorry my assessment isn’t lar
ger.”
Certainly He Knew.
A well known bishop who has a wife
of pronounced temperament one day
caught a small boy stealing grapes
from his vine. He reproved the offen
der sternly, and concluded:
“Do you know, my boy, why I tell
you this? There is One before whom
even I am a crawling worm. Do you
know Who it is?”
“Sure,” said the boy unhesitatingly,
“the missus.”
Profiting by a Lesson.
Young Tommy returned from school
in tears and nursing a black eye.
“Belcher I’ll pay Billy Bobbs off for
this in the morning,” he wailed to his
mother.
“No, no,’’ she said, “you must return
good for evil. I’ll make you a nice
jam tart and you must take it to Billy
and say, ‘Mother says I must return
good for evil, so here’s a tart for you.”
Tommy demurred hut finally con
sented. The next evening he returned
in a worse plight and sobbed:
“I gave Billy the tart and told him
what you said. ’N then he blacked
my other eye and says to send him
another tart tomorrow.”
An Exception.
“They tell me, professor, that you
are a wonderful linguist. Is there any
tongue you have found particularly
hard to master?”
“Oh, yes; my wife’s.”
Shortly after the death of one of
England’s great poets, one of his de
voted admirers visited the little village
where the poet had lived and died. The
stranger entered into conversation with
an old man, a native of the village, re
marking sadly on the death of the poet.
“Aye, aye,” answered the old man
encouragingly, “still I mak’ no doubt
but the wife’ll carry the business right
on.”
The Unkindest Cut.
Mrs. Cronan heard her little grand
daughter, Margaret, crying as if in
great pain, and hastened to the child.
“Why, dear, what is the matter?”
inquired Mrs. Cronan. “Did you meet
with an accident?”
“No-no, grandma!’’ sobbed Marga
ret. “It w-wasn’t an accident! Moth -
er did it on p-purpose!”—Harper’s
Magazine.
Making Up the Deficit.
The arithmetic lesson that day had
been hard and trying, and now at the
closing hour, Tommy stood before the
teacher, waiting to hear results.
“Your last problem is wrong,’’ was
the verdict. “You will have to stay af
ter school and do it again.”
Tommy looked at the clock. “Tell
me, please, how much am I out?” he
asked.
“Your answer is two cents short.”
Tommy’s hand dived into the pocket
where his most treasured possessions
were stored. Swiftly he separated two
pennies from a bunch of strings, a
penknife, some marbles and pieces of
chalk.
“I’m in a hurry, sir,” he said; “if
you don’t mind I’ll pay the difference.”
Found Out.
“I was so disappointed that I was
out the other day when you called,
Miss Percival.”
“So was I. I felt sure I’d find you
because as I turned the corner I saw
you go in.”—Boston Transcript.
Eye-Openers.
“In choosing his men,” said the Sab
bath school superintendent, “Gideon did
not select those who laid aside their
arms and threw themselves down to
drink. He took those who watched
with one eye and drank with the oth
er.”—Philadelphia Public Ledger.