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8
THE ATL ANTI AN
April, 1915
Village Constable (to the Wear, wlio
has been hurrying to fetch fire en
gine)—So you ’oiise is afire, is U ? Ah!
I've bin a-watchin’ that light. Didn’t
expect to run into me, did you, ’Ow
’m l to knOw- you bain’t signalin’ to
Germany 1—Purich' (London.)
’ Her Opportunity.
Bella—Do you mean to say he hasn’t
proposed yet,
Ella—Not in so many words.
Bella—Well, why didn’t you accept
him? . ....
The Future Life.
Hokus: I admit that Jack Dasha-
.way is going .the pace, but, never.the
less lie’s a brick.
Pokus: Well, I hope lie's one of the
fireproof kind.
Possible?
“Our dairyman’s cows look very de
jected.”
‘Maybe that is why our milk is so
blue.”—St. Paul Dispatch.
A Matter of Time.
Kennett; Your dachshund piust ijave
had a close shave.
Emerley: He did. The train sure
ly would have..got.him iff,ha.bfi^^
had enough sense to get off the track
sideways.—6: T. E. > ollfiiilc
; "uV;•.
Finding Him Out.
Wifey: Do you recollect that once
when we had a quairel I said you
were just as mean as yoii could be?
Hubby: Ves, my dear.
Wifey: Oh, Tom, how little did 1
know you then!—Philadelphia Record.
Why! ,vv« ■> i
Phrenologist: You have a pronouin:
pd- bump of knowledge.
Patron: Yes; an efiiyfildpccfih' 1 fell
on my head.
A Definition.
A smiler tlite lighting systeni of the
face, and, the heating system of the
heart.
Jury of Ladies.
“Well, how did yon get along with
your jury of ladies?”
“Pretty fair,” said the judge'. “Thev
demanded some things not' usually
accorded juries. Wanted a chafing
dish in the jury room and had to go
shopping every afternoon.”—Pittsburg
SiKgaihiw ' *
? bit? Long-Deferred Joy. x
“Why are y.Qii so crazy to take n»u>
Jintlis? There’s nothing the matter
With you.”
“It’s this way, doctor. I was brought
up in a lace collar and a Fauiitleroy
suit, and I always vowed that I would
get my share of playing in the mud
some day.”—Kansas City Star.
DR. ED MUNCEY,
Worshipful Master Capital City Lodge 642, F. & A. M. Popular au<
«U«eMful Dentut and member of tho Board of Health*
Queer Enough.
“Are you going to the fancy dress
ball”
“Gh, yes.”
“In what garb?”
“1 shall wear one of the quaint old
cast nines ol —Kansas City Jour
nal.
Unanswerable.
Little Minnie came in from the gar
den with soiled, clammy hands and
perplexed eyes.
“Mamma,” she propounded, “why
does God keep on making- toadstools
when the toads won’t sit on them?”
Force of Habit.
We gazed pityingly pn .the listless
drug store clerk, leaning against the
soda counter.
“Haven’t you any ambition?” we
queried kindly and all that.
“No," lie replied, with brightening
ntelligence; “but I have something
just as good.”—Philadelphia Ledger.
Vanity, Vanity!
“I wouldn’t o’ had no trouble wif
de constable ner nobody,” said Eras-
tus Pinkley, “if it hadn’t been for
woman’s love o’ dress.”
- “What has dress got to do with
it?" asked the jailer.
“My woman folks warn’t satisfied
to eat mos’ of de chicken. Dey had to
put de feathers in deir hats and pa
rade ’em as circumstantial evidence.”
Father Won Out.
Jones' wife wanted to pay an elon
gated, visit to some of her relatives
in a distant state, and while Jones
had no great desire to kiss her good-
by and do his own dish washing, he
thought it the part of wisdom to treat
the matter diplomatically.
“Harry," -said the wife one after
noon, speakiug of the proposed visit,
“won’t you be awfully lonely and ut
terly miserable while- I am gone?”
“Oh, no, dearie!” promptly answer
ed Harry, with a brightening expres
sion. “I shall manage nicely. There
are Smith, Brown and Green—”
“Is that so?” was the quick inter
jection of wifey. “Then I don’t go!
I don’t propose to have my house
^turned into a poker jubilee.”—Pliila-.
'delpbia Telegraph.
A Suggestion.
Waiter: “This knife is blunt and
(lie steak is like leather.”
“Ow’d it do to strop the knife on
the steak, sir?”—Boston Transcript.
LEST YOU FORGET
EASTER DAY
If you shop with us you can rest assured that your
purchases will be not only good, but the best. Then
our prices are the lowest good dependable goods can
be sold at.
Jewelry excellence, in a nutshell, is what you find
at our store. r ’ 1
. ".. ;V j / •; !; ; V". ■.
By the way,'have you seen brie'of our “Time Rec
ord ; with- each watch we repair?.
Bring in yofif wafcjti.and let us put you right. We
are the only store in Atlanta issuing these cards.
BALDING
17' Edgewood Ave.
ATLANTA, GA.