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THE ATIjANTIAN
July, 1916
Atlanta Baggage & Cab Co.
ESTABLISHED 1865
Bonded Agents of All Railroads
Private Exchange - - Main 4(100
Railroad, Passenger and Baggage
TRANSFER
Largest and Finest Equipment'in the South
Baggage Checked Direct from your Residence to Destination
Baggage Transferred from one part of the City to another.
When ticket is purchased request ticket agent to
check your baggage from hotel or resi
dence direct to destination
Officers and Agents at both Stations. Agents on all Inooming Trains
W. C. WILSON,
President and General Manager;
“From the stand around the cor
ner.”
“But what did you buy it with?”
“With the nickel you gave me.”
• “But that was for Sunday school 1”
“Well,” replied' the boy, “I didn’t
need it. The minister met me at
the door and got me in free."—The
Christian Herald.
WISDOM OF WILLY.
Mother (angrily)—Why didn’t you
come when I called you the first
time?
Willie—’Cause I didn’t hear you till
you called the third time.
Mother—Now how could you know
it was the third call unless you heard
the other two?
Willie—Easy enough, ma. I knew
it was the third time ’cause you
sounded so mad.—Boston Transcript.
LITERAL-MINDED MAID.
The favored suitor rang the door
bell. “Is Miss Blank at home?” he
inquired. f
“Oh, yes, sir,” replied the maid, and
she ushered him into the drawing
room.
Having waited for almost an hour
he summoned the maid again.
“Did you forget to tell Miss Blank
that I was here?” he asked impa
tiently.
“No, sir,” was the reply. “Miss
Blank hasn’t got back from shopping
yet.”
“But you said she was at home.”
“Yes, sir. She told me positively
that she was always at home to you,
sir. ’—Boston Transcript.
PAYING THE MINISTER.
A young couple went to a minis
ter’s house to get married. After the
ceremony the bridegroom drew the
clergyman aside and said in a whis
per:
“I’m sorry I have no money to pay
your fee, but if you’ll take me down
into the cellar I’ll show you how to
fix your gas meter so that it won’t
register.”—Baltimore Sun.
REBUKED.
The persevering landscape painter
knew that he had an observer look
ing over his shoulder at the easel.
He knew from the rustle of skirts
that the observer was a woman; yet
he worked steadily on. Presently
the observer spoke.
“A charming landscape,” she said.
“Ah, you flatter me,” said the art
ist modestly. “Compared with the
original landscape it is very poor
stuff."
“I meant the original,” said the ob
server.—New York Times.
WRONG.
Teacher—Seven cows are walking
along a path in single file. Which
one can turn around and say, “I see
six pairs of horns.”
Fresh—Why, the first cow.
Teacher—Wrong, John, cows can
not talk.—Panther.
A REAL COMMANDER.
It was an evening party and Dodge
asked Keller:
“Who is that impressive-looking
\yoman over there?”
“That’s Mrs. Moore,” was the re
ply. “She’s a remarkably strong-
minded woman. It is said she com
mands a large salary.”
“Indeed,” said Dodge reflectively, as
he looked at the woman, with inter
est. "How does she earn it?”
“She doesn’t earn it,” said Keller.
“Her husband earns it, and she com
mands a large salary.”
“Indeed,” said Dodge reflectively, as
he looked at the woman, with inter
est. “How does she earn it?”
“She doesn’t earn it,” said Keller.
“Her husband earns it, and she com
mands it.”—Pittsburgh Chronicle-Tel
egraph.
SOME SERMON, THIS.
“Breddern,” said the colored
preacher one Sunday morning. “I hab
decided to divide mah sermon dis
maiming in three pahts. De fust
paht Ah’ll understan’ an’ yo-all won’t.
De second yo-all will understan’ an’
Ah won’t. De third paht nobuddy
will understan’.”
A HARD CHARACTER.
“You don’t dissipate, do you?” ask
ed the physician sternly of the little,
worried-looking man who was about
to take an examination for life in
surance. “You’re not a fast liver or
anything of that sort, are you?”
The little man hesitated a moment,
looked a bit frightened and then pip
ed out: “Well, I sometimes chew a
little gum.”
THE EVILS OF VANITY.
“No, suh,” said Mr. Erastus Pink-
ley from behind the bars of the vil
lage , lockup. “Ah wouldn’t ’a’ got
into no trouble wif de constable, suh,
ef it hadn’t been fo’ wimmen’s lub
ob dress.”
“What on earth has dress got to
do with it?’ asked the amazed visi
tor.
“Well, suh my wimmen folks, dey-
wasn’t satisfied wif eatin’ dat chick
en. Dey had to go an’ put de fed-
ders on deir hats an’ p’rade ’em as
circumstanshial ebidence.”
HE DIDN’T WASTE IT.
A little boy went to Sunday School
for the first time. His mother gave
him a nickel to put in the collection
box. When he returneed he had a
sack of candy.
“Where did you get the candy?"
asked his mother. :
M. L. LIVELY M. E. TILLY
MADE IN ATLANTA.
Why buy imported goods when you have the best
at home ? Made in the laboratory of
MATTHEWS & LIVELY CO.
ATLANTA
Three of the leading articles.
Hair Tonic
Toilet Water
Talcum Powder
Besides we carry a full line of
Barber Accessories
Twenty years in business handling the leading
lines for the wholesale and retail trade.
MATTHEWS & LIVELY CO.
ATLANTA
BOTH PHONES jqrft