Newspaper Page Text
id
DHE A'i'LAN'riAtf
November, 19i6
We invite you to consider the Excep
tional Facilities and Liberal Policy of
this bank.
We are prepared to handle satisfactorily
the business of Banks and Bankers,
Firms, Corporations and Individuals,
Savings and Safe Deposit as well as the
Accounts of the Ladies—Banking in
all its Branches.
The Third National Bank
Capital, Surplus and
Profits - - - $ 2,000,000.00
Resources nearly - - 11,000,000.00
JUST THAT.
An English professor, traveling
through the hills, noted various quaint
expressions. For instance, after a
long ride the professor sought pro
visions at a mountain hut.
“What d’ yo’-all want?” called out
a woman.
"Madam,” said the professor, "can
we get corn bread here? We’d like
to buy some o>f you.”
“Corn bread? Corn bread, did yo’
say?” Then she chuckled to herself,
and her manner grew amiable, ‘‘Why,
if corn 'bread’s all yo’ want, come
right in, for that’s just what I hain’t
got nothing else on hand but.”
NAMED.
A candidate who was stopping at
one of the hotels in t'he West asked
for some stationery, but was told they
did not keep any. In an effort to
find out the name of the ho'tel, he
finally found an old negro who was
sweeping the yard, and asked him
the question:
‘‘Say, can you tell me the name of
this hotel?”
The negro . looked puzzled and
scratched his head nervously and
then remarked:
“No, sab, boss, I jest been wo’kin’
heah a short time and I declare I
don’t know; but dese trav’ling men
call it de Limit.”
THE POOR PIGS!
In George’s primer was the picture
of a woman standing in her doorway
driving eight or ten wee little pigs
away. Mother picked up the book
one day and saw that it was torn.
"George, why have you torn your
nice book?" she asked.
“Mamma,” explained the earnest
young disciple of the S. P. C. A., “I
tore the woman off so the little pigs
can go in the house.”
THAT HELPED A LITTLE.
“See here, sir,” cried an indignant
man, entering the office of the local
newspaper, “what do you mean by
referring to me in this morning’s pa
per as a greedy jobber?”
“That was a typographical error,
and I am sorry that it appeared that
way.”
“Very well,” returned the appeased
man, “then I accept your apology.”
“I don’t understand how that fool
linotype man came to set the word
‘jobber,’" added the editor. “I wrote
the word ‘robber’ very plainly.”
AN IMPORTANT POINT.
A city girl was taking a course in
agricultural college. After a lecture
on “How to Increase the Milk Flow,"
she rose for a question:
"How long,” she blushingly inquir
ed, “must one beat a cow before she
will give whipped cream?”
LET’S ALL MOVE THERE.
Walter G. Doty.
There’s a wondrous place called
Where-on-Earth,
Where never a thing goes wrong,
Where day and night are filled with
mirth
And the summer’s twelve months
long.
Each weed that grows is a perfect
rose.
Each girl’s as sweet as a song.
No illness there to cause distress,
Though the doctors get their fees.
The living cost grows eve’r less,
And the wages still increase.
There are no tricks to their politics,
Good folks are as thick as fleas.
None suffers there for another’s
crime,
And there are no needless dins.
When a man can’t pay on schedule
time,
His creditor only grins,
It’s always fair for the ball games
there,
And the home team always wins 1
LET JIM DO IT.
Gwendolen, returning from her first
day at high school, said,
“Oh papa, I have to buy a suit, for
gym.”
“Let Jim buy his own suit,” prompt
ly ordered father.
HER LIMIT.
Miss Cora was taking her first trip
on the train.
The conductor came through the
car and called for the tickets. Cora
readily gave up her ticket.
A few minutes later the butcher-
boy coming through called out,
“Chewing gum.”
“Never 1” cried Cora bravely. “You
can take my ticket, but not my gum.”
HIS ADVICE.
“Do you want me to retain a law
yer for you?” The judge asked the
defendant in a murder case.
“No, jedge, you doesn’t need mind,”
(the prisoner answered, dispiritedly.
“Then you are able to provide one
for yourself?” persisted the man of
justice.
“No, jedge,” still without heart. “I
wasn’t planning to trouble de co’t wid
a lawyer.”
“Then what do you want me to do?”
,?he other demanded, exasperated.
“Well jedge,” Sugarloaf Sam bright
ened visibly, “ef yo’ ax me, I’d say,
drap de whole matter; jes’ drap it.”
HIS TOAST.
Charles Lamb, after being annoyed
all day by someones noisy, ill-man-
Ipered children, with stuttering sol
emnity offered this toast at dinner:
“To the m-m-memory of the much
abused K-K-King Herod.”
Eight hours for work
Eight hours for rest
Eight hours recreation
Coursey & Munn
Druggists
No 29 Marietta Street
ATLANTA, GEORGIA