Newspaper Page Text
November, 1916
H 1 HE ATLANTIAN
13
FRIGHTENED INTO FULL FOR
GETFULNESS.
Near the close of the Civil War a
band of troops halted before a cabin
in a remote mountainous district and
called to a woman standing in the
doorway and who evidently recog
nized them as enemies,
“Who lives here?”
“I do,” came the answer in fright
ened tones.
“Yes, but what is the name of the
man of the house?”
The woman turned pale and stared
biankly at the leader of the troops
for some seconds, but made no reply.
When the patience of the leader had
become exhausted and he was prepar
ing to deliver a severe reprimand her
face brightened suddenly and she
called loudly to some one within the
cabin, ‘‘Mariar, oh, Mariar, what is
the name of that man I married last
week?”
NO PEACE FOR HIM
Willie was out walking with his
mother, when she thought she saw a
boy on the other side of the street
making faces at her darling.
“Willie,” asked mother, “is that
horrid boy making faces at you?”
“He is,” replied Willie, giving his
coat a tug. “Now mother, don't start
any peace talk—you just hold my coat
for about five minutes.”
' THE UNKNOWN
The Hon. Thomas R. Marshall, while
recently delivering an address in
Greensboro, North Carolina, said that
the vice-president of the United States
is an unimportant official. To illus
trate the fact he told the following
anecdote about himself.
“Some time ago I stopped for a
few hours in this city while there was
a medical convention here. A friend
introduced me to one of the delegates
as the vice-president. That one guile
lessly asked,
“ ‘Vice-president of what?’ ”
AN UNFORTUNATE AFFAIR
“Look here,” yelled the infuriated
bridegroom of a day, dashing wildly
into the editor’s room of the country
weekly; “what do you mean by such
an infernal libel on me in your account
of our wedding?”
“What’s the matter?” asked the edi
tor calmly. “Didn’t we say that after
your wedding tour you would make
your home at the Old Manse?”
“Yes,” howled the newly made bene
dict, “and just see how you've spelled
it.”
And the editor looked and read:
After their wedding tour the newly
married couple will make their home
at the Old Man’s.
CONFIDENCE IN
THE FUTURE
The American National Bank has the greatest confidence
in the future and urges that the best way to justify this
confidence is to continue, while prosperity is at its height,
to gather strength for any emergency or opportunity which
the future may bring.
Tt is always glad to meet new faces at its counter,
with a view to establishing relations and helping to con
serve the business and financial interests of those who are
building up the industry of Atlanta.
American National Bank
Atlanta, Georgia
OFFICERS:
WILLIAM L. PEEL President THOMAS J. PEEPLES t Cashier
ROBERT F. MADDOX ....Vice-President JAMES P. WINDSOR Asst. Cashier
JAMES F. ALEXANDER....Asst. Cashier
Lawrence Floral
Company
138 Peachtree St., Atlanta, Ga.
Choice Cut Flowers
FOR ALL OCCASIONS
Designs of all Kinds our Specialty
No Order too Large or too Small.
W. C. LAWRENCE
Secretary and Treasurer
FORMERLY WITH WEST VIEW.
AN EFFECTIVE PLAN.
Two men were discussing the ques
tion of whom should be the head of
the house—the man or the woman.
“I am the head of our establish
ment,” said the first man. “I am the
bread winner. Why shouldn’t I bfi?”
“Well,” drawled the second, “be
fore my wife and I were married we
made an agreement that I should
make the rollings in all major things,
she in all the minor.”
“How has it worked?"
“So far," smiled the man, ‘‘no ma
jor matters have arisen.”
AN EXCELLENT AUTHORITY
When Sir Walter Scott was a boy
his teacher asked him to give, the part
of speech of the word “with.”
“It’s a noun,” said young Seolt.
“You are very stupid,” said the
teacher. “How came you to say such
a thing?”
“I got it from the Bible, sir,” de
clared the future novelist stoutly.
“There’s a verse that says they bound
Samson with withs.’ ”
WHY WORRY?
Recently a country merchant up on
the head* of Cabin Creek in West
Virginia proved himself an optimist
in spite of the fact that his store and
entire stock of merchandise, together
with the homes of practically all his
customers, was washed away by the
awful cloudburst that tore down upon
the mountain streams of West Virginia
last August. A few days after the
flood he sent the following message to
a wholesale grocery house of Charles
ton, located fifteen miles below the
mouth of Cabin creek, the manager of
the grocery house being a friend of
the old merchant’s.
“A few days ago, I returned to yon
your recent shipment of groceries. I
used my store building for a boat, and
shipped you the goods packed in the
shelves thereof. Hope you will re
ceive them in good shape. The goods
were entirely satisfactorily, and my
only reason for returning them was
that most of my trade has moved
away.”
NOT CONTENT
“Does your new car climb a hill all
right?” asked Jones.
“Oil yes,” replied Smith, “it can
climb a hill all right; the trouble is it
DEFINED
“Pop,” inquired little Clarence Lily-
white, “what am a millenium?”
“Sho!” said his parent. “Doan yo’
won’t let it go at that. It’s got a| know what a millenium am, chile?
mania for also climbing trees and tele-1 It’s jes’ about de same as a centennial
graph poles.” on’y it’s got mo’ legs.”