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10
THE ATLANTIAN
July, 1917
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Atlanta
Established 1861
ROUNDABOUT.
Necessity is the mother of inven
tion, and the hungry Frenchman told
about in a biography recently pub
lished in England illustrates the old
adage anew.
He was in an English restaurant,
and wanted eggs for breakfast, but
had forgoitten the English word. So
he got around the difficulty in the
following way:
“Vaiterre, vat is dat valking in the
yard?"
“A rooster, sir.”
“Ah 1 and vat you call de rooster’s
vife?"
“The hen, sir.”
“And vat you call de children of de
rooster and his vife?”
“Chickens, sir.”
“But vat you call de chicken before
dey are chicken?”
“Eggs, sir.”
“Bring me two.”—The Christian
Family.
WHAT SHE THOUGHT.
He—I don’t think this cocoanut taf •
fey is very good, do you?
She—O, it’s knotty, but it’s nice.—
Siren.
Burks—He’s the meanest man in
town!
Smirks—And why?
Burks—I told him that I bossed my
wife, and he went and told her.
The late James Buchanan Brady,
better known as “Diamond Jim,” is
noted for his lavish tips among the
servitors of Broadway’s many hotels
and restaurants.
Recently Mr. Brady gave a dinner
party to a select few* of his friends.
From cocktails to cigars, he had
taken much pains to mark a new
epoch in de luxe hospitality.
For some unaccountable reason, the
usually smooth service and perfect
cuisine of the place fell down wit 1,
a loud thump. Long delays followed
eahc course, the food was far below
par; and to cap the climax, the slip
pery-fingered waiter spattered a gob
let of burgundy over the facade of
one of the guests.
At length, as they were about to
depart, Brady, with a deep scowl at
the offending waiter, presented a bill
for payment of the check. As the
latter returned, Brady swept 'the
change from the plate without so
much as a nod, and started to leave.
“Haven’t you forgotten <the waiter,
sir?” the waiter timidly asked in
astonishment as the vision of a fat
tip vanished.
“Forgotten you?” echoed Mr.
Erady. “Certainly not. I’ll send you.
a nice postcard the next time I take
a trip.”
A commercial traveler while en
route through the South relates this
of a darky’s purchase of cheese from
the local store:
“Boss, how much is er nickel’s
worth of dat er cheeses?"
“Can’t selPa nickel’s worth, Sam,
it’s too high.”
“All right; gi’me for a dime’s worth,
caip’n”
The storekeeper cut a thin slice,
and Sambo remarked, “Oh, oh 1 You-
all perty near missed it, didn’t you,
cap’n?"
HE MIGHT TALK, TOO!
“Mrs. Blinks has sold her arrot.
“What for?”
“Well, it insisted on talking, and
she was afraid it might encourage
her husband.”
SCENTING DANGER.
Mrs. Alfalfa—Do you think, Mr.
Goldrox, that dreams go by contra
ries?
Bachelor Goldrox—I hope so. I
dreamed last night that I was about
to marry I
A GOOD PROSPECT.
‘‘He’s so reckless he’s always ‘tak
ing chances.”
"Oh, do send him to our charity
bazaar.”—Baltimore Sun.
Gipsy fortune-teller (seriously)—
L»t me warn you. Somebody’s going
to cross your path.
Motorist—Don’t you think you’d
better warn the other chap?
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS.
A Cherryvale historian . has gone
gack through the files and produced
this story:
A woman with a rapid-fire inter
rogatory apparatus approached a
news butcher on a Frisco train out
of Cherryvale during the high water
a few days ago and asked excit
edly:
“Say, when is this train due at the
next stop? How is it running? How
deep is the water on the track?
How do you sell your bananas?”
The vendor of fruit and literature,
who was something of a poet, ans
wered :
“Nine o’clock. On time. Knee deep.
Three for a dime.”—Kansas City
Star.
A FEW.
First microbe—Heard you had a
big party last night. Many of the
boys there?
Second microbe—Naw, only about
three million.—Tiger.
Gunter-Watkins Drug Co.
Cor. Peachtree and Walton St.
PRESCRIPTIONS
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and filled by experienced Licensed Pharmacists.
We Want Your Business.
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Cor. Peachtree and Walton Sts.
ATLANTA GEORGIA