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8
THE ATLANTIAN
November, 11)18
ALARMING JUST THE SAME
A private acting as a ki'tchen police
near a front line 'trench put on ihis
gas mask His non-commissioned of
ficer came along and, telling him to
take off his mask, explained:
“That ain’t gas you smell; that’s
what you’re goin’ 'to get for dinner.”
HIS TUNEFUL MESSAGE.
Included among the passengers on
board a ship crossing ithe Atlantic
recently was a man who stuttered.
One day he went up to the captain
of the ship to ispeak to hm.
“S-s-s-s-s-s-s,” stuttered the man.
“Oh, I can’t be bothered,” said the
captain, angrily; “go to somebody
else."
The man tried to speak to every
body on board the ship, but none
could wait to hear what he had to
say. At last he came to the captain
again.
“Look here,” said .the captain, “I
can tell you what to do when you
want to say anything; you should
sing it." Then suddenly, in a tragic
voice, the man commenced to singt—
“Should .auld acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind,
The blooming cook’s fell overboard,
and is twenty miles behind.”—
London Tit-Bits.
HARD ON THE OBJECT.
“My teacher gave me an awful call-
down because I used inter for intern.
Was that «uch a bad mistak, Pop?"
“Well, my son, I would call it a
grave sort of mistake.”—Baltimore
American
HE COULDN’T SPELL IT.
In the spelling list for a class in a
certain Indianapolis school were the
world singing and singeing. The class
was asked to write sentences using
these words to show 'that they knew
the correct meaning of each. One
little fellow, Robert, wrote:
“The Italians are a singing nation.”
“The Allies will soon be singeing
the beard of the kaiser."
With sideward glances he watched
his teacher mark his paper, and 'tim
idly asked;
“Yes,” she said, “but the kaiser has
no beard; he has a mustache.”
“I know, I know, but I wanted 100
on my paper, and I couldn’t spell
mustache.”—Indianapolis News.
HEAVY.
“My daughter is going to Professort
iWomba't, the eminent pianist.”
“How’s his touch?”
“Pretty strong. Four dollars a les
son.”—Kansas City Journal.
THOROUGH THOUGHLESSNESS
A sailor who was being reprimanded
by an officer started to defend him
self.
“But I though, sir—”
“You are not supposed 'to think.”
About a week later the same officer
sent this man ashore to get him some
cigarette papers, and, as he did not
have any change, ihe gave him
a twenty dollar bill.
The man came staggering back with
a case on his shoulder.
“What have you got there?” asked
the officer.
“Cigarette papers,” came the reply.
“I did not tell you to get a case.”
“You didn’t say how many, sir. You
gave me 'the bill and said, ‘Get me
some cigarette papers.’ ”
“What do you think I want with
twenty dollars’ worth of cigarette
papers?”
“I am not supposed to think, sir.”
THE APPLICANT.
“Familiar with the use of files?”
queried the manager of the applicant
for the typist’s berth.
“Quite,” was her reply; “father
kept a hardware store.”—IPearson’s—
(London).
BIT OF A BRUTE.
“Who is that man?”
“The court crier.”
“iHe is very derelict in his duty,”
declared the beautiful actress. “I
watched him all through the trial and
he never shed a tear.”
GREAT CHANCE.
“No Sunday motoring.”
“That won’t affect you, as you have
no car.”
“No, I was just thinking of ventur
ing out on the highways for a nice
old-fashioned walk.”
FORMER EXPERIENCE.
“I see the Germans are talking of
grouping men of the same trade or
profession together.”
“Suits me. I don’t want to boast,
but I Ithink I could stand off a regi
ment of tailors.”
SYSTEM.
Willis—'Bump’s office is run abso
lutely on system.
Gillis—Indeed?
Willis—Yes, they tell me there is
even a recess of ten minutes each
day for the clerks to (borrow money
from one another^-tSt Louis Repub
lic
llllllllllllillllllllllllllllll!llllllllllllll!lllllllllllllllll
Vesta Battery Service
IS LOCATED AT THEIR NEW HOME
12 W. Peachtree St.
FORMERLY LOCATED AT
257 Peachtree St.
Free Service on All Makes
of Storage Batteries
lllllllllllllllillllllllllll!llllllllllll!llllllllllllllllllllll
Paragon Pharmacy
Cor. Capital Ave. and Georgia Ave..
If you need anything
carried in a first-class
DRUG STORE
Phone Us.
We Want Your Business
D. L. FRANKLIN, Prop.
BOTH PHONES