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THE ATLANTIAN
Decefnber, 1918
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JAC OBS
LIVER
SALT
The First Thing In the Morning
---Before Breakfast—For
Two Week
It will take out all the kinks and make
you feel “FIT.”
Jacobs’ Liver Salt is a splendidly efficient
remedy for constipation, rheumatism,
gout and all complaints arising from uric
acid or a disordered liver. Take in warm
water, sip slowly, and you get the best
effect.
At AH Druggists
Generous Packages 35c and 75c
WH<\T HE SHOULD HAVE
THOUGHT.
A barber, after scraping away in
dustriously for a few moments, made
the usual inquiry:
“Razor all right, sir?
My good man, if you hadn’t men
tioned it I should never have known
there was a razor on my face.
The barber beamed.
Thank yous sir, he said.
No, added the customer, reflective
ly, I should have thought you were
using a file.—Roller Monthly.
THE NOTHING-TO-SAY BORE.
Willie—Paw, what is an after-din
ner speaker?
Paw—An attend inner speaker is a
man who gets up and announces that
he has nothing to say and then goes
ahead and says it for two hours, my
son.—Cincinnati Enquirer.
LEFT TO HIS FATE.
Wife—John, there’s a burglar down
stairs. He’s in the pantry eating my
pie.
Hub (drownsily)—Well, I’m not go
ing to get up this time o’ night to give
•hd,m dyfepepsia tablets.!—Boston
Transcript.
“Our town went dry yesterday.”
“No more alcohol?”
“Except in the homes.”
HEROIC IMPULSE.
Algenon (excitedly)—Oh, Miss Deer-
ing, half an hour ago I was a just a
minute too late to assist in rescuing
a man from drowning! The crowd
formed a human chain and—
Alice (Interrupting)—You were the
missing link?—Buffalo (Link.
THE RIGHT VIEW.
Mrs. Snobson—My dear, you don’t
really mean to say you darn your
husband’s hose?
Mrs. Wright—Of course I do. If a
man foots his wife’s bills, she sould
at least be willing to foot his stock
ings.—San Francisco Argonaut.
THE WHOLE FAMILY.
Mother.
She cannot play the piano ,and no
matter .what we say,
We never can coax her to go into a
cabaret,
She cannot play a game of whist, at
cards she makes no hit,
But she is there in cooking, and she
can sew and knit.
IcakVbtrh, Iwyy?T(I o
Look' at this picture • of the new
Russian ambassador.
Ah, eys. How nice! So this is Bol
shevik! himself, is it?
Father.
He cannot play a game of ball, at bil
liards he’s a joke,
He cannot sing the latest songs, for
if he did we’d choke,
He cannot even drive a Ford, such
things he doesn’t know,
But he can work the whole day long,
and make a lot of dough.
The Rest of the Family.
The ukiuele we can play, the piano it’s
a pipe,
And we can sing the latest songs and
do all dances right,
And baseball, football, other games,
for us they all were meant,
But when it comes to working, we
cannot earn a cent.
—Roller Monthly.
A WINNER.
“My wife manages nicely on the
alimony she gets.”
“Why, you amaze me. I didn’K
know you were separated.”
“We aren’t. I refer to the alminoy
she wins at bridge from Mrs. de Vor-
say.”—Boston Transcript.
“I suppose I can rely upon these
eggs being fresh?"
“Certainly, madam. We get them
direct from the manufacturer.”
NO MINCING MATTERS.
Dr. Jephson of Leamington was no
ted for being brusjue and unceremon
ious. A great London lady, a high
and mighty leader of society, who
had been taken suddenly ill, sent for
him. Jephson was so offhand with
his grace that she turned on him an
grily and asked: “Do you know to
whom you are speaking?”
“Oh, yes,” replied Dr. Jephson
quietly, “to an old woman with
the stomachache.—Doctors Leisure
Hour.
FATE.
His wife had followed him across to
be a Red Cross nurse. During a bit
of German strafing he fell wounded
and woke up several hours later in a
field hospital. His wife was bend
ing over him. “Ain’t that just my
luck, Jenny,” he murmured. “With all
the pretty nurses there are over here
to look after the soldiers I had to
draw you.”Deedy’s Magazine.
A FRIEND INDEED.
Doctor—O don’t think it is anything
very serious, but you will have to
stay in bed at least two weeks.
Patient—Say, doctor, do you know
I am paying $4 a day for this room.
Doctor—Yes, I am a friend of the
proprietor.—Hotel Gazette.
Quality Remains Long
After Price Is Forgotten
High Class Shoes for Men
PRICES TO SUIT ALL:
Ranging from $5.00 to $10.00
WE CARRY UNION MADE
SHOES
bHOD htlllLb fun-EVERYBODY
FRED S. STEWART CO
25 WHITEHALL ST.