Newspaper Page Text
10
THE ATLANTIAN
December, 1919
Save Money
For most people there is but ONE way to acquire a
competence; that is the sure way of SAVING MONEY.
With one dollar you can open an account with our Savings
Department. Your money deposited here will earn more
money at the rate of per cent interest, compounded
semi-annually. Persistent saving will give you the neces
sary start in business, or pay the first installment on a home,
or insure for you and your family comfort and independence
during old age. The following table shows how fast $5.00
a month deposited here will grow:
1 year 9 61.06 3 years $189.71
2 year# 124-28 5 years 327.60
Fulton National Bank
Atlanta, Ga.
WILLIAM J. BLALOCK, President
ARTHUR B. 8IMM8, Vice President.
BOLLING H. JONE8, Vice President
HENRY B. KENNEDY, Vice.-Pres.
RYBURN G. CLAY, Cashier.
G. C. EVANS, Asst. Cashier.
much your library cost you, Mr. In
gersoll?’’
Looking over at his shelves he an
swered :
"IW'ell, my boy, these books cost
one anyhow the governorship of Il
linois, and perhaps the presidency of
the United States 1"—Ladies’ Home
Journal.
SUGGESTIVE SUBST1UTE.
(From Harper’s Weekly.)
Bobby had finished his prayers, all
but the amen, and there he stuck.|
“Well, dear," said his mother. “Go
on)—you know the last word—
amen—”
“No, mother,” replied Bobby; “I
ain’t goin’ to say that any more. I
been readin’ your little book on good
manners and it says R. S. V. P. is the
proper form.”
A SISTERLY HE.
(From The Louisville Courier-Jour
nal.)
“Our new cook claims to be a col
lege girl.”
“In that case, I must interview her
at once,” declared the daughter of
the house. ‘IWe’ll be in clover if
she belongs to my sorority."
THE DEPARTING SON.
“Our baby has left us,” wept the
mother, as their only son waved
goodbye from the car window.
“Yes,” said the old man, whom the
boy had just touched for a loan;
“but he hasn’t left us much."—De
troit (News.
WHY?
Wife—Why do you treat your ste
nographer so much better than you
do me?
Husband—^Simple enough; I can
dictate to her.
CHARACTERISTIC
Pat—How much do yez weigh,
Mike?
Mike—Oi weigh one hundred and
seventy-five pounds.
Pat—You must a’ got weighed
with your coat on.
Mike—An’ Oi did mot. Oi held it
in me arms all the time.—Judge.
CONSERVAISM.
“I suppose Tina is a handsome
lass?” said Sandy’s cousin, who met
him in Glasgow not long after the
marriage and had netfer seen the
bride. “I ken ye’ve gude taste,
Sandy.”
“Aweel,” said the bridegroom cau
tiously, “she’s the Lord’s handiwork,
Tammas. I’m no’ prepared to say she
is His masterpiece.”
NO SPIRITS IN THE GASOLINE.
(From the Nashville Banner.)
That is a very good law passed in
New York providing a jail sentence
for. any one who "drives an auto
mobile intoxicated.” The auto should
certainly be left in the garage until
it gets sober.
BOSPHORUS TO HELL GATE.
(•From New York Evening Mail.)
The sultan is likely to lose his
throne, but he can buy a perfectly
good iseat on the New' York Ex
change for $50,000.
GIRLS AS MIXERS.
(From he Indianapolis Star.)
Life and the pursuit of happiness
is an uncertain proposition. A chaf
ing dish in which Indiana University
co-eds were making fudge exploded.
But the danger will ony give added
zest to fudge parties.
THE MERRY OPPOSITE
(From the Chicago 'News.)
As it takes all a man’s money to
pay his family's bills, it ought to
console him that if he had any more
money he’d have that many more
bills.
(From the Cincinnti Enquirer.)
This is a funny world. Men are
getting divorces every day because
their wives spend too much money
on clothes. And a girl like Mary
Garden can’t find a husband.
HOW THINGS BALANCE.
(From The Chicago News.)
As it takes all a man’s money to
pay his family’s bills, it ought bo con
sole him that if he had any more
money he’d have that many more
bills.
THE VERNAL HIATUS.
(From he Indianapolis News.)
There are interesting rumors of the
finst robin, but it hardly seems pos
sible that the worm business can be
very good for such an early bird.
PEEK INTO THE FUTURE.
(From Louisville Courier-Journal.)
Fifty years ago having secured a
divorce was a social bar; but fifty
years hence not having secured a di
vorce will be social damnation.
AN EXPENSIVE LIBRARY.
Robert Ingersoll was famous for
the library of infidel books which
he possessed. One day a reporter
called on Mr. Ingersoll for an inter
view, and among other questions
asked was:
‘Would you mind telling me how