Newspaper Page Text
April, 1920
THE ATLANTJAN
7
'Dear John: Our recent Conversa
tion
May need some further Explanation;
And since your gallant Captain Stand-
ish
Is gone where Heathen iRedskins
brandish
Their Tomahawks, perchance without
him
You’ll come and tell me more about
him;
Though, while ’tis true no Man is
bolder,
I wish (the Captain’s growing older),
You’d lay his Suit upon the Shelf,
John;
Why don’t you speak about Yourself,
John?
(I loathe these Military Sashes
And Bushy Brown and Gray Mus
taches l) 1
You never said how good my Pies
were 1
What Color did you think my Eyes
were?
I can’t abide the Name of ’IStandish”;
To me it sounds a Thought outland
ish.
(The Captain, too, inclines to balden.)
I like a softer Name, like “Aladen.”
Arthur Guiterman.
Temperament is an explanation of
things, not an excuse for things. We
are as responsible for the use we
make of a temperament as for any
thing else.
WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN.
ApOllo, Tuneful Twin of Dian,
We sing of (Wlifliam Jennings Bryan,
Whom neither Fate nor Time may
quell,
Our Phoenix-bird, our Immortelle 1
A Hundred Times his bones are
planted,
His Mournful Threnody is chanted,
Yet up he’ll bob, the Lord knows
when,
To chortle, “Here We Are Again 1”
When Diiplomatical Errata
Had made him Non Persona Grata,
Propelled by no Rude Force hebind,
He blandly Tactifully Resigned.
Says he, J'My Views, I know, distress
you.
(Yes, that’s my hat.) Good-by. God
bless you I’’
And off he goes, alas, alack 1
But don’t you worry. He’ll be back.
Where Boards are spread with Snowy
Tissue
He reappears and brings an Issue,
While all the Diners cry, “Police I
Here comes that dratted Dove of *
Peace I”
Arthur Guiterman.
A MYSTERY.
Ted: On account of the newsprint
shortage, the size of the Chicago pa
pers is going to be reduced.
Ned: In that case, how in the world
will they be able to report all the
holdups and murders?
, •
IF BUTTER
•
Was 30 cents per pound jus*
a few steps from Peachtree,
would you go after it in
stead of paying 70 cents on
Peachtree? Sure you would!
Then why not do the same
when price and quality if
being considered in jewelry
purchased.
But you must hurry while
the selections are good to
pick from. Come in today
and let us help you with sug
gestions.
A. M. Balding
JEWELER
17 EDGEWOOD AVE.
FLOWERS
Fresh and New
For All Occasions
Lawrence
• The Florist
138 Peachtree St. Atlanta, Ga.
MY MOTHER.
MY LADY.
By Joseph P. Hanrahan.
I dote upon my lady’s feet,
Trim, and exquisitely petite,
Description warrants pages;
But modesty suggesting, I
Proprietary pride deny,
Enough to say in pasing by— *
Her Shoes took—three weeks’ wages.
My ILady’s Form, to make no fuss
Would charm the most fastidious,
—I’m tempted here to dally—
Her gown a Virtuoso wrought,
That simple gown—on afterthought
Cost rather more than would have
bought
Ten shares in Lehigh Valley.
My Lady’s Hat; my Lady’s Gloves,
The Furs my little lady loves,
Otter and Fox, and Beaver,
Complete her walking-out array,
I hope she spends a pleasant day,
I am to meet, while she’s, away,
My Bankruptcy (Receiver.
IN CROWDED NEW YORK!
‘It was very thoughtful of you to
recommend that delightful restau
rant.”
“You mean the one just off Fifth
Avenue? Don’t you love luncheons
there?”
“Oh, I started for luncheon, but
only got there in time for tea.”
Ten years ago a dollar bill would buy
A rib-roast big enough to choke a
whale,
But prices now are such—well, I
grow pale
When I start out with even three to
try
To get some good pork chops, for
fear some sly
Old butcher’s boosted prices. Sure
ly they’ll
Come down next year. Some stuff
I buy by mail—
It’s all that’s left for women such as
L
My Mary’s clothes are something aw
ful, too,
And John’s in college where it costs
so dear;
Poor Will’s distracted with the bills
—gets blue
And says he fears we’ll have to
move from here.
I’ve slipped aside a hundred fifty
though
To get that suit at Vandervert’s,
you know.
A GREAT DETERMINATION.
Then pausing dramatically, he said:
“As long as I live I never will vote
to send Unborn American boys to die
in foreign lands, as this League of
Nations contemplates.”—St. Louis
(Mo.) Globe-Democrat.