Newspaper Page Text
THE ATLANTIAN
9
April, 1920
HE NEEDED ENCOURAGEMENT.
“Well,” remarked Cupid Sparks, the
marriage license man, the other day,
‘‘a chap in my neighborhood whom I
have been waiting to come around for
a license for a long time, finally mus-
tered uj> courage to propose and came
in the other day for his sentence. I
know the young lady quite well, too,
so asked her how he finally managed
it. She said:
“Well, he stayed around one night
till nearly 12. I gave him a lot of en
couragement, but he just couldn’t say
anything. Finally, after he had got-*
ten his hat, he said:
“‘Mabel, do you read the papers?’
“I told him of course I did.
*’ ‘And have you read about the in
come taxes?’
“I certainly have.
“‘And have you read that after six
ty days the goverment is going to
tax marriage licenses?’
"Yes, I read that.
“‘Well, don’t you think that—that
we ought to practice economy and
hurry?’”—(Los Angeles Times.
AMBIGUOUS.
Waiter—The guy who ordered that
lobster Newbung complains that you
put«no sherry in it.
Chef (haughtily)—Tell him that I
never forget myself 1—Buffalo Ex
press.
ONCE A SOLDIER—
I have been a regular soldier
Seven roamin’ years, m’ friend,
An' I never chased a Greaser,
An’ I never went to France,
Never even been a corporal,
An’ my hitch is nigh to end,
But I hates to peel the leggins off
An’ shed my khaki pants.
For soldierin’ is soldierin’—
We know it dev’lish well—
An’ the army is the puddin,’
Though we often say it’s hell;
An’ it frets y’;
But it gets y’l
'Why—y’ can’t exactly tell.
When I gets to be a “civic"
I suppose that I’ll be glad,
Though the barradks is the nearest
To a home I ever had.
An’ the boys’ll go to Mexico
An’ raise a pot of fun;
An’ I’ll be in an office. Gosh I-
I wish I wasn’t done 1
For Soldierin’ is soldierin’—
A lure y’ can’t resist;
An’ t'he army is the puddin’,
Though we often will insist
That it frets y’.
But it gets y’—
Hell II guess I’ll re-cnlist!
Joseph Andrew Galahad.
Women express their love for ani
mals by matrimony I
Introducing
Atlanta’s Newest Drug Store
Backed by a well-earned reputation for integ
rity and ability we come to your neighbor
hood now to control and to offer to you a
neighborhood drug store of convenience and •
satisfaction, easy to reach—adjacent to the en
tire neighborhood. Instantly reached by use
of the telephone. Commodious, comfortable
and convenient for personal shopping. Com
pletely stocked with the finest quality of goods,
drugs of a superior character all offered with
service methods, friendly, inviting and pleas
ing. Complete stocks and the exhibition of
intelligence in understanding your wants and
properly filling them together with the cour
tesy which we shall find plenty of time to pro
vide you will make this store doubly inviting
to you a welcome addition to your buying
facilities. Come and see us and make a new
acquaintance with this store—a store for you
and a satisfactory place for your trade.
Parker-Branan Drug Co.
Corner Peachtree & North Avenue.
Phone Ivy 4120
Downtown Store:
Corner Forsyth and Luckie Sts.
Here’s to Labor
Your Friend
French Millinery Co.
MRS. LIZZIE WAITS FRENCH
MANAGER
392 Edgewood Ave., Cor. Boulevard
NOISE LIKE A MAN.
A South Side man, starting to work
the other morning, happened to think
of something he had forgotten, and
returned to the house to get it.
While walking about the kitchen
the man heard a great racket up
stairs. Considerably Matured he call
ed:
“What in the world is the matter,
May, has anything happened ?”
There was a moment’s silence, then
the wife replied:
“Oh, is that you?"
“Yes, who did you think it was?"
“I heard some one walking about
down there and I thought it was a
bftrtglar.”
“But the noise—’’
“I was making a lot of noise so he
would think there was a man in the
house.”—Youngstown Telegram.
THE NEW MODESTY.
“The new modesty,” said Clarence
Underwood, magazine illustrator,
“has a frank quality. It is born of
athletic beauty. The old modesty was
merely a desire to conceal ugliness.
A beautiful girl in a white bathing
dress came out of the water at Palm
Beach and advanced over the sand to
her mother,
'“Dear me!’ the mother whispered.
‘You shouldn’t have got white, darling.
That suit is almost transparent!’
The girl smiled calmly.,
“‘Don't worry,’ she said. 'I’m not
deformed.’ "—Yonkers Statesman.
DISCOURAGED.
The Freshman sat upon the (Library
steps. He was engaged in dismal
neminiscence. A stranger, struck by
this forlorn spectacle, approached
and touched the youth upon the
shoulder.
“My boy, why are you in such a
sorry mood?”
The lad propped his head upon his
hands.
“I’ve just read the ‘Book of Fame,’"
he exclaimed with an expressionless
voice. “I’ve read about Carnegie, of
Wright, of Edison, of Lincoln—I’ve
read about all those self-made men.
I had hoped that some day my name
would he written in that book.”
“My boy,” quoth the Stranger in a
consoling tone, “and somewhere in
that book didn’t it mention a college
man?"
“It did. That is just the trouble. In
the ‘Rise of Tom Stowe, the Street
Car King,’ it mentioned four football
captains who are motormen on his
cars."
“So? And are you discouraged?”
“I assuredly am,” sobbed the lad. “I
can’t play football and I don’t know
how to drive a street car.”—^California
Pelican,
WHY NOT “CUT IN?”
“I hear they have established a
home for telephone operators."
“And what did they name it?”
"Listen Inn.”—Pennsylvania Punch
Bowl.