Newspaper Page Text
September, 1920
THE ATL ANTI AN
AND HE? HERS.
By A. Walter Utting.
Now let the Muse take up the strain
Unheard up to the present time;
Cry quits to feminine refrain
And set the masculine to rhyme;
Let poets write their odes no more
To Prisey, Prue, Moll, Maude or
Kate;
No dimpled chin claim lines a score—
Pray feature Him l Be up to date.
So He to She Who Rhymes who soon
To write in other measures tried;
Stopped sobbing o’er the wayward
moon
And sought the fount the hint im
plied;
“What shall I Ipraise—your eyes your
!! •; 4 * hair
Your hands, the music when you
jb'-ji speak?
(?bti| have no charm for which I care;
jr3J6t dnel Oh yes; I like your
jib cheek 1”
“I consider the laborer worthy of
his hire," remarked the union organ
izer.
"And the hire the better," sadly re
marked Clem Jester, who had been
4—The Atlantian
highering harvest hands.—Barber
County (Kan.) Index.
PRESIDENTIAL PLEASANTRIES.
It is fortunate that newspaper
statements are strictly modern fea
tures of our political life, or we might
have had something like the follow
ing recorded in our history (and then
again, we might not):
George Washington .leading Feder
alist candidate -for the presidency, is
sued the following statement from
his headquarters last night:
“I can only say that Mr. Thomas
Jefferson is a liar and a faker and
not worth the consideration of the
decent men of this country.”
Mr. John Quincy Adams when in
terviewed at his home this morning,
said:
“What I don’t know about Henry
Clay isn’t worth knowing. Ask him
where he got that diamond ring, and
how it [happens that the initials on
the case of his watch are ‘M. H. L.’ I
don’t want to say any more just now,
but perhaps the police may have a
statement to make later in the day.”
Abraham Lincoln, when asked about
Mr. Douglas’s candidacy, said: “Ste
phen A; Douglas should not be in the
White House. He should be in jail.”
Some men who have merely done
their duty get sore if the crowd does
not cheer.
ODE TO A OUIJA.
Oracles for the heathen
And prophets for the Jew,
But the Ouija, yes, the Ouija board
for me.
Saints have their disadvantages,
And prophets not a few,
But the Ouija board just suits me
to a T.
For there’s nothing very formal,
Or in any way abnormal
In the way you call on Ouija for
advice.
It isn’t psychic—still
You can move it where you will,
Which, when you come to think of it,
It really rather nice.
MEETING OF CORPORATION.
Councillor Jones: “Owing to the
urgency of the matter, I propose we
have the cemetery extended as soon
as possible, and have the ground con
secrated ready for use.
Councillor Muggins: I rise to sec
ond the proposal, and in regard to
having'the ground consecrated—well,
it’s ten years since I had my back
yard done with it, and it’s still wear
ing splendidly.—London Telegraph.
The most unfair person is the one
who asks you for advice and doesn’t
let you know what advice he wants.
I —Kansas City Star.
Phone M-1217 Established 189
NatKaiser&Co.
Jewelers and Brokers
3 Peachtree Street
ATLANTA - GEORGIA
Reliable—Ask Anybody
THE RING WITH THE SEVEN
KEYS.
If it were new or good enough to .
string *»
New keys upon, it might show
common sense
To keep it; but what use a rusty
ring,
And what is theer to argue in de
fense
Of leaving on it seven rusty keys
More useless than a row of blasted
trees?
The bookcase, bureau and old desk
they fit
Went up in smoke. This one un
locked the door
That opened on my home; its cranky
bit
Annoyed me nightly till the night
of war.
As for the other three, I can’t recall
How they were used, so thick that
war-raised wall.
Is it mad sentiment or madder hope,
Or a return to fetish-servitude
Which makes me keep them, as a tel
escope
Might help a blind man’s faith in
sight renewed?
Hostages? Nonsense 1 Yet their num
ber, seven,
Proves that in loss we find the sev
enth heaven.
' —Richard Butler Glaenzer.