Newspaper Page Text
December, 1920
THE ATLANTIAN
19
LET "DAD DO IT”
192 Corn-Hand St.
Garbed to Suit.
“They say that women are smoking
cigars.”
“Nothing to it. When they do
you’ll see cigars wearing sashes, not
bands.”
What They Break Up.
“Well, Jonesie, have you gotten in
your winter’s coal supply yet?”
'“Oh, we burn only wood at our
house—have three small boys, you
understand.”
Eloquence Rather Than Elegance.
A boy of eight was dining with his
father at a hotel where the manners
of the guests were not remarkable
for their elegance.
Soon after they had seated them,
selves at the table, the youngster
piped up with, “Daddy, why do all
the men say ‘whoop’ to their soup?’—
Harper’s Magazine.
Domestic Ingenuity.
“The dishes, in neat and spotless
array, were evaporating in the sun
and she regarded them with the eye
of the successful inventor.”—Ameri.
can Magazine-
Overlooking Her Prerogative.
The lady agreed to pay fhe appli
cant for general 'housework $80 a
month and had apparently answered
all interrogations satisfactory, when
the duchess of the kitchen thought
of one thing more.
“Do you have an an auto?” she in
quired.
“Yes.”
“Only one?”
“Yes, just the one."
En Passant.
By Weare Holbrook.
The people on the street are as sc
many trees to him—a jostling, track
less forest through which he makes his
way unbewildered. His abstraction
gives him the look of a poet. His
youth gives him the look of a lover.
As he walks, his lips move, form
ing soundless words.
Perhaps on his way to his attic
he .is repeating a fresh-caught lyric
line lest it escape his pen.
Perhaps on his way to the 'bedside
of his most-adored, he is murmuring
a prayer that she may be spared tc
him.
Perhaps, on his way to a telephone
booth he is rehearsing the “hot line’
he intends to hand Mayme.
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The Species.
Human nature is a queer thing.
There are persons who really be.
lieve a dentist when he says: “Now
this won’t hurt you a bit.”
The Kingdom of Apollo.
By Stella V. Kellerman.
The world is young and strong, dear
You need not feel so sorry;
For it will wag along, dear,
Without your fret and worry.
It was a World, for long, dear,
Before we came upon it;
It went right on, and on, dear,
Without a single sonnet 1
O naught can hold it back, dear,
Our sorry tittle-tattle
Is nothing more to it, dear,
Than baby’s rubber rattle!
The World will carry on, dear,
Regardless of our chatter;
It has a goal to gain, dear,
Evolving mind from matter.
So wipe your tears away, dear,
I earn wisdom- from the flower,
Upbuilding Beauty’s altar, it
Achieves creative power 1
O let your heart be glad, dear,
So glad that all would follow;
For on the way you’ll find, dear,
The Kingdom of Apollo I
Can Such Things Be
“Well, he certainly was very polite
to you.”
“Certainly notl He merely used
the polite formula.”
“What do you mean, polite for
mula ?
“The business formula, of course."
“ What’s that?”
“Same as the crook’s. Which is to
say, keep your victim’s mind well oc
cupied on something else while you-
fix him.”
Enlightened.
'Howard—They say savages differ
from us in that they will not eat the
food of any one they are inimical to._
Coward—Of course 1 What do sav
ages know about the laws of good
society?
Fighting Fire With Fire.
“Two lines of hose were alid and the
fire was extinguished by sparks from
a burning coal pile."—Kinosha (Wis.)
Evening News.
Vocal Missiles.
“She spoke in a low, even voice
without tears or visible agitation; and
each word, as it dropped from her.
fel into his breast like burning lead."
—Pictorial' Review.