Newspaper Page Text
16
THE ATLANTIAN
September, 1921
Crown Drug Co.
Junction Whitehall and Forsyth Streets
Cigars, Cigarettes, Tobacco, Per
fumes, Face Powder, etc.
TOILET ARTICLES OF
EVERY DESCRIPTION
Periodicals, Candies, Ice Cream
and Coca-Cola
A Clean Quiet Place for Ladies and Gentlemen
Phone Call Main 1677
NOT IN VAIN.
A tall, gaunt individual of the sort
known in some parts of the South as
“poor white trash,” was ordered by
the Judge of a certain police court
to stand up.
“You are,” said his Honor, “ac
cused of profanity in a public place.”
“I reckon I did it, Jedge,” said the
cracker. “A negro was tryin’ to
steal my hoss.”
“But you should know better than
to take the name of the Lord in
vain.”
“It wasn’t in vain, Jedge. You
jjpst 'oughter seen that black man'
run!”—Philadelphia Ledger.
TOO LATE THEN.
"All through my trial you kept
saying, ‘Your honor, I object,’ ” snarl
ed the convicted crook.
“So I did, so I did,” replied his law
yer, soothingly.
“When the judge sent me up for 10
years, why in Sam Hill didn’t you ob
ject to that?”—Birmingham Age-
Herald.
ANTICIPATION.
“Yes, I enjoy the movies. They
keep you in a constant state of an
ticipation.”
"Eh?”
“The production promised for next
week is always sq much better , than
anything you see.”
RECIPE FOR AN AFTER-DINNER
SPEECH.
Three long breaths.
Compliment to the audience.
Funny Story.
Outline of what speaker is not going
to say.
Points that he will touch on later.
Two Bartlett’s familiar quotations.
Outline of what speaker is going to
3ay.
Points that he has not time to toucl.
on now.
Reference to what he said first.
Funny Story.
Compliment to the audience.
Ditto to our City, State and Coun
try.
Applause.
N. B. For an oration, use same for
mula, repeating each sentence three
times in slightly different words.
—Mary Eleanor Roberts.
LET “DAD DO IT”
207 Whitehall St.
SOUNDS LIKE FICTION.
“I love those English novels.”
“You admire the hero, eh?”
“No, I love to read about the old
family servants who have been with
the family for years and years.”—
Louisville Courier-Journal.
THE GOSSIP.
By George Murray.
When the last kiss is kissed, and the
last lie is told,
And the last scheming woman is bent,
and worn, and old,
Then the loves that died from med
dling, done by women long ago
Will rise in their lovely splendor, as
fair as the sunset’s glow,
And the laij; scheming woman will
screech out, “I told you so!”
When the lost loves and broken loves
arise, now new and whole,
And the air’s a-thrill with murmurs—
whisperings imbued with soul,
Then the meddling, scheming gossip,
knowing nothing save of earth,
Will identify old scandals—she’ll have
suffered from their dearth
And the last scheming. woman will
amfise herself with mirth
When the last kiss is kissed, and the
last lie is told,
And the last scheming woman is bent,
and worn, and old,
The passion of her passions spent,
glad-gloating she will fall,
Upon a hidden scandal. “Now, lis
ten—!” she will call.
For the scheming, mumbling gossip
will never change at all.
NARROWED DOWN.
“I have absolutely lost all confidence
in humanity!”
“That so? What’s her name?”
INFIDELITY.
By Ralph M. Thompson.
With all the love at his command,
He sought a maiden’s heart and hand.
Throughout the disappearing days,
He pressed his suit in many ways.
She smiled on him and promised that
She’d share his bungalow or flat;
And, soul-sustained, he found content
In her avowed encouragement.
But she would always laugh and scoff
At him a bit, and put him off,
Whenever he essayed to make
Her say when she would undertake
To keep his little house for him;
And, so, at length, his dream grew
dim,
And he awoke, to toss aside
All hope that she would be his bride.
Anon he sought another dame,
And offered her his humble name,
And this occasioned her who’d met
His proposition with regret,
To prate about, throughout life’s span,
The infidelity of man.
PURE SYMBOLISM.
“They say Chienese doctors write
complicated prescriptions.”
“I can believe it after looking at a
laundry check.”—Louisville Courier-
Journal.
OUR REGULAR DINNERS
THE BEST IN TOWN..
FOLSOM’S
RESTAURANT
The Best Place to Eat
132-134 Peachtree Street
ATLANTA .... GEORGIA