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8
THE ATLANTIAN
September, 1921
DELICIOUS DRINKS
CHOICEST CIGARS
CELEBRATED CANDIES
LOVELY LUNCHES
AT OUR TWO STORES
CANDLER BLDG. AND FORSYTH BLDG.
We maintain the Brand of Service that will appeal
to every Lady or Gentleman
Let us Serve You
STUART P. MURRAY COMPANY
Taxi Service Also
THE ONLY LACK.
Mother—Well, Nellie, is your doll
kitchen completely furnished now?
Nellie—No, mama, I still need a
policeman for the cook.—Boston
Transcript.
OBEYING THE SIGN.
“Did you deliver my message to Mr.
Smith, Tommy?” asked the manager
of the new office boy.
“No sir” replied Tommy. “He was
out and his office was locked up.”
"Why didn’t you wait for him as I
told you to do?”
“There was a notice on the door,
sir, saying, ‘Return immediately,’ so I
came back here as quickly as I could
sir.”—Boston Globe.
THE EXACT WORDS.
Professor—So, sir, you said that I
was a learned jackass, did you?
Freshie—No, sir, I merely remarked
that you were a burro of information.
—Boston Transcript.
EFFICIENT TO THE END.
“Yes,” said the traveler, “my wife’s
mother was an admirable housekeeper.
Poor soul, she was eaten by cannibals
in Africa.”
“You don’t mean it?”
“Alas, it’s true! Why, when the
savages had thrust her into the caul
dron and she was beginning to cook,
she cried out faintly with her last
breath: ‘Don’t forget the sal tand
pepper’!”—Houston Post.
ANOTHER HOLD-UP.
Mr. Wayback—What! Two dollars
for a seat to see this “Hero of Dead
Horse Gulch” show?
Box Office Man—Yes, sir, that’s
the price.
“Well, young man, I’ll say that not
all the stage robbers are operatin’ in
the Far West.”
LET “DAD DO IT”
207 Whitehall St.
SO TO SPEAK.
“Sedentary work,” said the college
lecturer, “tends to lessen the endur
ance.”
"In other words,” butted in the
smart student, “the more one sits, the
less one can stand.”
“Exactly,” retorted the lecturer,
“and if one lies a great deal, one’s
standing is lost completely.”—Journal
of the American Medical Association.
UNCERTAINTIES.
“What is your position on this
grave public question?”
. “My position,” replied Senator Sor
ghum, “is that of a man whom I over
heard in the railroad station asking
about trains. He couldn’t be sure
whether he was away ahead of his
time or away behind it.”—Washington
Star.
A LITTLE MOVEMENT.
Mother—You had better not have
another piece of chicken. You must
leave room for the cake.
Nancy—Oh, the chicken can move
over a little.
Tony—Huh, my brother—he brave
bird—fly twenty thousand feet and
jump in the pair-o-schutes.
Red—Suppose one of these days he
jumps out and the parachute don’t
work—huh ?
Tony—My brother—he come down
anyway.—Carnegie Puppet.
HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL.
“Bibbles is an optimist?”
“He certainly is.”
“Ir. what respect?”
“He’s always trying to do something
to ‘moonshine’ to make it taste like
something else.”—Birmingham Age-
Herald.
Doctor—Any patients call while I
was out?
Wife—Only a couple of fishermen
who wanted . prescriptions for bait.—
New York Sun.
COMESTIC URGE.
Pelly, after a wide and minute in
vestigation, asserts positively that the
women wear black hose, short tight
dresses, penciled eyebrows, rouged
cheeks and red, cupid-bow lips in or
der to repel the male of the species.
—California Pelican.
HER.
Two dazzling eyes
With baby stare;
A little smile
And cute bobbed hair.
Two dancing feet,
A shoulder sway;
A silly laugh,
A vamping way.
A crowd of men,
A social whirl,
And there you are—
The modern girl.
—Pennsylvania Punch Board
—Pennsylvania Punch Bowl.
LET “DAD DO IT”
207 Whitehall St.
Put it up to this store
We have made a study of feet and shoes.
It is our business to know that your require
ments are different from the other fellow’s.
If you think you are hard to fit or hard to
suit, put it up to us. We are equipped to
speak with authority on shoe matters. You
have our word for it that Walk-Overs will
be right every way you can look at a shoe.
HARNESS-STITCHED RADNOR 1 $10.00
A straight English last ab
solutely flat from toe to
heel. See the heavy stitch
ing—a new idea. Every
detail displays the finer
points of good shoemaking.
$9.75
SMART BROGUE OXFORDS
Worn now and fashionable with
heavy hose. Genuine shell cor
dovan of rare grade. Extreme
beauty of style.
(Duet
SHOE STORE
35 Whitehall