Newspaper Page Text
November, 1921
THE ATLANTIAN
15
FAIR EXCHANGE.
An enterprising tradesman sent a
doctor a box of cigars which had not
been ordered, with a bill for six dol
lars. The accompanying letter stated
that “I have ventured to send these
on my initiative, being convinced that
you will appreciate their exquisite
flavor."
In due course the doctor replied:
“You have not asked me for a consul
tation, but I venture to send you three
prescriptions, being convinced that
you will derive therefrom as much
benefit as I shall derive from your
cigars. As my charge for a prescrip
tion is two dollars, this makes us
even.”—Boston Globe.
LET “DAD DO IT”
207 Whitehall St.
A RARE BIRD.
“What have we here?”
“A letter to the editor.”
“But it’s more than a column long.”
“Our correspondent says he has
never written a letter to the editor
before, and he thinks he’s entitled to
some consideration.”
“There’s something in that.”—Bir
mingham Age-Herald.
SMALL TOWN CURIOSITY.
The easiest way to become an ob
ject of suspicion is to go to a small
town where you are unknown and at
tend strictly to your own business.
THE MANLY ART.
Husband (angrily): You’ve kept
me waiting like a fool on this corner
for over an hour.
Wife: Oh, but I didn’t Henry! I
simply kept you waiting.
IT’S A LONG TURN.
The Early Bird: Whatcha turning
for?
The Truning Worm: ’Cause you
stepped on me.
The Early Bird: Then I’ll go a step
further. One good turn deserves an
other.
PATRIOTISM.
Jimmy: Got a new dog, ain’t yuh?
Johnny: Yeh.
Jimmy: What kind is he? Looks
like an Irish terrier.
Johnny: He ain’t though. He’s an
American.
WICKED FLEAS.
Noah paused but briefly, as he lis
tened to what his wife was saying
about the standard of education in the
Ark.
“If you must do it,” he snapped
nervously, “you might put those fleas
in charge of the class in multiplica
tion.”
“Did you ever see a free-for-all
fight?” asked a friend.
“No,” said Mr. Murphy, “I was too
busy to watch.”
THE GIFT HORSE’S TEETH.
Alice—That was an expensive pres
ent you sent Gladys. How much did
you pay for it?
Viirginia—I don’t remember the
exact amount, but I left the price tag
on it.
THE STALL OF FAME.
There was once a woman who never
spoke a cross word to her husband'.
She’s dead. And we know a man who
claims he never said an unkind word
to his wife. He’s a liar.
E PLURIBUS UNUM.
The favorite patriotic song of cer
tain politicians is “My county, ’tis of
thee.”
“Go ahead an’ fight ’im, Clarence.
Anything he does to yer face’ll only
be a’ improvement, anyhow.”
Lady (to servant returning from
party): I hope you have enjoyed your
self, Mary.
Maid: Oh, thank you, ma’am. I
had a lovely time. I had fourteen
hairpins in my head when I started,
and now I haven’t got one.—Repro
duced from Punch (London) by ar
rangement with the proprietors.
Passenger—How did you ever learn
to fly?
Airplane Pilot—Oh, I just began at
the bottom and worked up.
JUS’ WISHIN’
(As typed by Punkin, the office boy)
By ROLFE C. SPINNING,
i wish
i was
the gi who takes the pikchers,
the pikchers of the mermades
on the beeches fur away
fur away,
the pikchers of the mermades
on the beeches fur away,
i wish
i was
the gi who takes the pikchers,
of 0 Ree-en-tul dansers
in the harrem fur away,
fur away,
fur away,
of 0 Ree-entul dansers
in the harrem fur away.
„i wish
i was
the gi who takes the pikchers
that dont get by the censer
and are all throwed away,
throwed away,
throwed away,
that dont get by the censer
and are all throwed away.
CAMPHODINE—for Colds
Manufactured by R. G. Dunwody
“Are you making any money?”
The old man’s face brightened per
ceptibly. “No, I. ain’t,” he replied,
hopefully, “but I am losing it slower
than I ever did in my life before.”—
Harper’s Magazine.
Visit the—
Walton and Fairlie Street
Pocket Billiard Parlor
Opposite Post Office.
□
The largest, best equipped and most refined
in the city.
[=□
Your patronage will be appreciated.
Have You
the Ability to Succeed?
The employer of men desires to know those
among his employes who have within them
selves the capacity for success.
No matter how brilliant, how well trained or
how honest a man may be, the vital factor
for victory in business is lacking if he can
not save.
Deposit in this bank a part of your salary
every payday and build character for bigger
things.
4°!° Interest Paid
Three Banks for Your Convenience
Member Federal Reserve System
Central Bank & Trust Corporation
Candler Building
Mitchell Street Branch
Mitchell and Forsyth Sts.
Tenth Street Branch
Peachtree and Tenth Sts.