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18
THE A T LAN T IAN
September, 1922
; COMPARATIVE LITERATURE
. I A German novel is a book in which
two people want each other in the
first chapter, but do not get each other
until the last chapter.
A French novel is a book in which
two people get each other right in the
first chapter, and from then on to the
last chapter don't want each other
any more.
An American novel is a book in
which two people want each other at
the start, get each other, and then
want each other clear through to the
end.
A Russian novel, however, is one in
which two people neither want each
other nor get each other, and about
this 450 profoundly melancholy pages
are written.
—Translated for World Fiction from
—Jugend (Munich).
THE SILENT PARTNER
Two men who were “something in
the City” were lunching at their club
one day. “Oh,” said one, “my partner
formerly used always to oppose my
views, but now he agrees with me in
everything.” “How do you account
for it?” asked the other. “Don’t
know,” said the first. “I’m not sure
whether I convince him, or only make
him tired.” —Tatlet (London).
“It is taking some time to get
Mars.”
“We should not care. I often take
a lot of time in getting an ordinary
telephone number.”
EXCLUDED "
Grace is a young lady of five years
and also of a very difficult disposition.
The other day a visitor to her father’s
home found her weeping in a corner.
“Why, what are you crying about?”
she asked.
“ ’Cause all my brothers and sisters
have a vacation and I don't have any.”
“And why don’t you have any vaca
tion?”
“ ’Cause I don't go to school yet.”
—Everybody's.
LIBERTY.
When a woman talks about Liberty,
she means if some man would only
try to stop her from doing some of
the things she knows she doesn't want
to do.
* * *
When a man talks about Liberty,
he means if his wife were visiting
her relations.
* . * *
When a bachelor talks about Liber
ty, he means a drink.
We are convinced that Liberty is sf
great thing for one Irishman—but it
won’t do for two.
L. L. S.
“Why, Maggie, whatever do you
mean, a-wearin’ yer hat down over
yer nose that way? That ain’t th’
style!”
“I ain’t toyin' t’ be in th’ style, Liz
zie Keefe—not me! I'm settin' a new
one!"
REVIVED
The conjurer was porforming in a
room adjoining a gunpowder factory.
A sailor and his parrot were enjoying
the show. The conjurer changed half
a crown into a penny.
“Now that’s a fine trick,” said the
sailor, lighting his pipe. “I wonder
what he’ll do next?” The sailor then
threw away hi^ match.
A minute later there was no sailor,
no factory, no room, no village. On
a steeple a mile away the parrot, with
one feather remaining, said, “Now
that's a fine trick. I wonder what
he’ll do next?”—TitBits.
A DOLLAR DOWN
Mr. Spendix: Any instalments due
today?
Mrs. Spendix: No, dear, I think not.
Mr. Spendix: Any payments due on
the house, the radio, the furniture, the
rugs or the books?
Mrs. Spendix: No.
Mr. Spendix: Then I have ten dol
lars we don’t need. What do you say
we buy a new car?—New York Sun.
LET “PAT DO IT”
510 Courtland St.
AT THE SEASHORE
Father: That child of ours is alto
gether too annoying with his toy boat.
Mother: What does he want now?
“He wants to have it fitted out with
a wireless.”
—Le Journal Amusan (Paris).
THE TALKEMS
The Talkem family is sure
In ever climate to endure.
There’s Talkymuch, the Eskimo;
Though icebergs come and icebergs
go,
His talk is ever on the flow!
\
And there is Talky Hottentot;
No matter how the sun is hot
He jabbers pagan polyglot!
Young Ah Wee Talk, the Chinese boy,
Finds converastion such a joy
His neighbors stop their ears with
soy!
w a
O’Grady Talk is no abstainer;
He calls himself a bold Sinn Feiner,
Would he less fluent were—and
saner!
r
The noted Ancient Mariner
A Talkem was, beyond compare;
A specimen extraordinaire.
Wherever a true Talkem goes,
Whatever be his joys or woes,
He tells you, hourly, all he knows.
I
By dint of words' agglomeration
The Talkems, of whatever nation,
Excite a monstrous irritation.
The MORAL—weighty, though a
wee one:
Avoid a Talkem when you see one,
First being cautious not to be one.
1865
Oldest National Bank in the Cotton States
1921
The Atlanta National Bank
And the Guidepost to Security
The difference between a spendthrift and a miser is a normal man or
woman who SAVES AND SPENDS THEIR EARNINGS INTELLI
GENTLY.
A SAVINGS ACCOUNT in the Atlanta National Bank with its record
of SECURITY and GOOD SERVICE in this city for more than a half cen
tury, provides A ZONE OF SAFETY between the practices of the spend
thrift and the haunting fears of the miser.
THE GUIDEPOST TO HAPPINESS AND
SUCCESS IS THRIFT
We Invite You to Join the Band of REGULAR DEPOSITORS in OUR
SAVINGS DEPARTMENT.
THE ATLANTA NATIONAL BANK
Savings Department on Main Floor, Whitehall at Alabama
Active Designated Depository of the United States of America, State of Georgia, City of Atlanta and County of Fulton.