Newspaper Page Text
12
THE ATLANTIAN
November, 1922
WOMAN!
Edith—She seems to be frightfully
keen on that boy!
Doris—Yes, I know. Isn’t it absurd
with a kid who hasn't a penny in the
world!
“Darn it! I’m through with women.
‘Bee’ called me a mere infant—an I’m
seven years old today.”
“Why always paint double portraits;
does it pay better?”
“Two heads are better than one,
you know.”
Judge—What have you to say for
yourself, young man?
Guilty One—I want to say, your
Honor, that I wasn’t going any faster
than that officer who arrested me.
2nd Golfer—What does your wife
think of that?
“She’s satisfied; she’d rather play
bridge than cook.”
PSYCHOLOGY ITEM.
Once upon a time there was a man
who declared that women are superior
to men. Meeting another man one
day, he said:
“There’s no use talking, the girls
put it all over us."
The fellow he told this to noddefi
his head solemnly, but made no re
ply. The man was delighted to think
he had really said something. A little
: later he met another man and re
marked:
“We men think we are something,
but the fact is that women know
much more than we do. They are
much cleverer.”
The second man stared at him, but
neither did he make any reply.
And so the man went on for a
few days more. Then he met a whole
group of men who were standing to
gether talking about the affairs of
the world. One of them said to him:
“We’ve heard about you. Come and
join us.”
Another said almost immediately:
“Tell us what you think.”
“I think,” said the man, “that wom
en are much better, brainier, cleverer
than we are. I tell you, they are su
perior to us.”
This was as far as he got. The
largest man in the group grabbed him,
took him aside and whispered:
“Lay off that stuff.”
“But why?” he asked.
“It ain’t safe. If you keep on say
ing it, you’ll get, so that after a while
you’ll believe it.” T. L. M.
Mother (to the vicar)—Oh, please
sir, I was agoin* to ask you could any
thing be done to change pore little
Lloyd George’s name ’ere ? The child’s
’ad to suffer summat cruel. ’E can’t do
nothin’ right since ’is father changed
’is views about the Prime Minister!—
Tit-Bits, (London).
Hattie—Clarice and John are pretty
thick, aren’t they?
Cattie—Yes, both of them.—Stan
ford Chaparral.
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THE ECONOMIST.
By Dwight Marvin.
In March I sang to Alice;
I said her beauty bright
Was nothing but a chalice
From which I drank delight—
Her presence was a palace
And I her guardian knight.
In May I sang to Cora,
The one star in my sky;
I searched the realms of Flora
For names to know her by.
I called her my Aurora,
My flame that could not die.
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In June I sang to Mary,
Her banter and her wit,
Her form so lithe and airy,
Her smile so exquisite;
She was my hoped for fairy
And love had ended it!
ransportation is secured when
you purchase a used passen
ger or commercial vehicle from us.
By fall the same thing ailed me—
I was in love again.
The fires of Poesy failed me
Yet fever burned my brain;
So I took the rhymes of other times,
And made them o’er for Jane.
Dependable Dodge Brothers used
cars operate at a low cost and the
resale value is exceedingly high.
LOW PRICES AND
EASY TERMS
We will trade your old car for a
good dependable Dodge Brothers
used car.
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E. Maffett
INCORPORATED
A young man and his grandfather
were riding the St. Lawrence in a
high-powered motor boat. The grand
father, a rather self-opinionated old
man who had made good in the bus
iness world and was now enjoying life
leisurely was driving the boat at a
pretty good clip.
“Grandfather,” spoke the young
man rather anxiously, “there are a
lot of shoals in this river.”
“I'know every shoal in the St. Law
rence, my son.”
No sooner had the old man said this
than the craft hit a rocky bottom and
reared to the right.
“There’s one of ’em, now,” he said,
never lessening $ie speed of the boat.
Indignant Inez—Bill, these here old
guys these days is fresher than pea
nut butchers, and if you wuz there
Idda had you to smack his jawer.
Gentleman Caller—Why, whutdidee
say to youse, Kid?
“I sez to Marne, my lady frien’, aft
er the pitcher was half over, because
it wuz hot in there and Marne she
always only has car fare, and I sez,
‘Will ya have a sody pop?’ And whu-
duya think this fresh old goof sez?
He sez, ‘No, thank you, Baby, you’d
better save yer money.”—Stanford
Chaparral.
LET “PAT DO IT”
510 Courtland St. •
Hemlock 1165
170 W. Peachtree Street
126 Walton Street
- Z MB
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I do not dote on college quims,
Their “lines” and clothes so dapper.
It may be quite the worst of whims,
But I prefer a flapper.
- Iowa Frivol.
He—How delightful, how idyllic! I
absolutely worship the waves!
She—I’m so awfully glad you like
them. I had them done permanently
just before I came away.—Passing
Show (London).