The Buena Vista Argus. (Buena Vista, Ga.) 1875-1881, March 26, 1881, Image 1
PRACTICAL ILLUSTRATION OF TBJI
PRAM AS OR TOUTH.
When yon got two or throe old follows
of CO or so together, they are fond of
telling stories about the pranks they
played in their youthful days, and
laughing proudly over their misdeeds.
But this isn’t always a safe thing to do.
Old Judgo IJees indulged in this roorea
tion in the presence of his son, aged 14.
The old man told of quantities of tricks
he had played upon his father, and
chuoklod gleefully over them. It
roused young Bees’ ambition, and the
next night, when the Judgo wont home,
he had an awful time of it. There was
a pail of water suspended over the front
door that tippod as ho oponed the door
and, deluged him. Ho was both sur
prised and annoyed at that, and walked
into the entry with oaths upon his lips,
and immediately his feet caught a cord
tied across tlio hall from the banisters to
the hat-rack, and it tripped him up and
pulled tho hat-rack over on top of him.
He was skinned in soveral places, and,
by the timo he disongaged himsolf,
was awful mad. He started up-stairs,
and part way up a cord stretched across
at the right height caught him suddenly
mtder tho chin and threw him backward
down tho stairs. Then he started to
crawl up-stairs, and part way up di: cov
ered a rope lying on the stairs and own
ing from the top. He pulled it, and
hauled a barrol down upon himself that
bounced him down stairs again. He
was nearly delirious with rage as he rose
to liis feet that time, and utterly unable
to understand the cause of all theso
contrivances being in his way. Once
more ho essayed to go up, and that time
succeeded. On reaching the head of
the stairs he thought he heard a snicker,
and investigation showed his son peep
ing from liis chamber and laughing.
On being taxed by the Judge with fixing
the traps the boy owned up. “ What
in the name of heaven have I dono
that mado you do it ?” yelled the Judgo,
aghast at the boy’s wickedness ami cool
ness. “ Why, I heard you say you
played these pranks on your father. - ’
“Yes, and he licked me liko blazes for
it, just as I’ll lick you,” roared the
infuriated Judge. “ You oidn’t say any
tliing about being licked when you told
the stories,” cried the now frightened
boy. This was a strong argument, but
the Judgo wasn’t in a frame of mind to
appreciate it. The boy’s yells were
heard in tho next w r ard, and ho has re
solved, as soon as his raw spots get well,
to run away to some place whers thoy’ll
tell him the whole facts of a case. And
the Judge thinks he has learned to be
careful what he says before that boy.—
New York Mercuru.
* causes or WAR.
A certain King sent to another King,
saying, “ Send me a blue pig with a
black tail, or else—”
Tne other replied, “I have not got
one, and if I had—”
On this weighty cause they went to
war. After they had exhausted their
armies and resources, and laid waste
their kingdoms, they began to wish to
make peace; but before this could bo
done it was necessary that the insulting
language that led to the trouble should
bo explained.
“Wnat could you mean,” asked,the
second King of tho first, “by saying,
Send me a blue pig with a black tail, or
else—?”
“Why,” said the other, “I meant a
o’ue color. But what could you mean
by saying, I have not got one, and if I
bad—?”
“Why, of course, if I had I should
have sent it.”
The explanation was satisfactory, and
the peace was accordingly concluded.
The story of the two Kings ought to
serve as a lesson to us all. Most of the
quarrels between individuals are quite
as foolish as the war of the blue pig
with a black tail.
THE RATAL BUCKET.
“ It is much easier to get into a quar
rel than to get out of it.” In the year
1005 some soldiers of the common
wealth of Modena ran away with a buck
et from a public well belonging to the
ft ate of Bologna. This implement might
be worth 1 shilling, but it produced a quar
rel which was worked into a long and san
guinary war. Henry, the King of Sar
dinia, assisted the Modenese to keep
possesion of the bucket, and in one of
the battles he was made prisoner. His
father, the Emperor, offered a chain of
gold that would encircle Bologna, which
is seven miles in compass, for his son's
ransom, but in vain. After twenty-two
years’imprisonment, he pined away. His
monument is now extant in the church
of the Dominicans. This fatal bucket is
still exhibited in the tower of the Cathe
dral of Modena, inclosed in an iron
cage.
Tan annual consumption of different
forms of opium has grown in Albany
from 350 pounds of opium and 375
ounces of morphia twenty-five years ago
to 3,500 pounds of opium and 6,500
ounces of morphia, not to mention 500,-
000 morphia pills yearly sold. One of
the city druggists has told the Journal
that where twenty-five years ago he
made laudanum by the gallon, ho now
prepares it by the barrel. A quarter of
a century ago an opium-eater was a
rarity; to-day the number is large and
on the increase, and fully four-fifths of
them are women.
The salt district of Saginaw, Mich.,
has about ninety-five companies at work,
with an annual capacity of 2,600,000
bushels. The first well was sunk only
twenty-one years ago, and in 1859 the
Legislature encouraged the enterprise
with a bounty of 10 cents a bushel on
all salt manufactured, and an exemption
from taxation for all engaged in the
business.
WILL W. SINGLETON 1 , Editor & Proprietor.
VOL. VI.
OUR JUVENILES.
tv hat theChott ftntiff About the New Bonnet .
A foolish little maiden bought a foolish little bonnet,
With a ribbon, and a feather, and a bit of laoo upon
It;
And that tho other maidens of tho little town might
know it.
She thought she'd go to mooting tho next Sunday
Just to show it
But though tho little bonnot v os scarce larger than a
dime,
The getting of it Bottled proved to be a work of
time;
So when ’twas fairly tied, all tho belle had stopped
their ringing,
And when she cumo to meeting, sure enough, tho
folks were singing.
So the foolish littlo maiden stood and waited at tho
door;
And she shook her ruffles out behind, and smoothed
them down beforo.
“ Hallelujah, hallelujah 1” sang the choir abovs her
head—
“ ITnrdiy knew you! hardly knew you l were ths
wordß ho thought they said.
This made the little maiden feel so vory, very cross,
That biie g. ve her mouth a little twist, her head a
littlo toes;
For she thought tho very hymn they sang was all
about her bonnet,
With the ribbon, and tho feather, and tho bit of lace
upon it.
And she would not wait to listen to the sermon or
the prayer,
But pattered down the silent street, and hurried up
the stair,
Till she reached her little bureau, and in a bandbox
on it
Had hidden safe from critic’s eye her foolish little
bonnet
Which proves, my littlo maidens, that each of you
will find
In every Sabbath service but an echo of your mind;
And the little head that’s filled with silly little airs
Will never get a blessing from sermon or from
prayers.
Fixe Vents,
“ Well, my boy,” said John’s em
ployer, holding out his hand for the
change, “ did you get what I sent you
for?”
“Yes, sir,” said John; “and here is
the change, but I don’t understand it.
The lemons cost 28 cents, and there
ought to be 22 cents change, and there’s
only 17.”
“ Perhaps I made a mistake in giving
you the money ?”
“ No, sir; I counted it jover in the
hall, to be sure it was all right.”
“Then, perhaps, the clerk made .
mistake in giving yon change ?”
But John shook his Head : " Ko, sir ;
h counted that, too. Father said we
must always count our change before we
leave a store.”
“ Then how in the world do you ac
count for the missing 5 cents ? How do
you expect me to behove such a queer
story as that ?”
John’s cheeks were red, but his voice
was firm : “I don’t account for it, sir;
I can’t. All I know is that it is so.”
“ Well, it is worth a good deal in this
world to be sure of that. How do you
ccount for that 5-cent piece that is hid
:ug inside your coat-sleeve ?”
John looked down quickly and caught
(he gleaming bit with a little cry of
pleasure. “ Here you are ?” he said.
“Now it is all right. I couldn’t imag
ine what had become of that 5-cent
piece. I knew I had it when I started
from the store.”
“ There are two or three things that I
know now,” Mr. Brown said, with a sat
isfied air. “I know you have been
taught to count your money in coming
and going, and to tell the exact truth,
whether it sounds well or not—three
important things in an errand boy. I
think I’ll try you, young man, without
looking any further.”
At this John’s cheeks grew redder
than ever. He looked down and np, and
finally he said, in a low voice : “I think
I ought to tell you that I wanted tho
place so badly I almost made up my
mind to say nothing about the eliange if
you didn’t ask me.”
“ Exactly,” said Mr. Brown, “and if
you had done it you would have lost
the situation; that is all. I need a boy
about me who can he honest over 5
cents, whether he is asked questions or
nob”
tTack-in-tlic-Box,
There had been at least three in the
family before this one, which was des
tined to be the greatest fun of all.
This was Nan’s. The first ones had
all belonged to Johnny, and he used to
laugh heartily when he was a very little
fellow to see how he could frighten
great big men with a Jack-in-the-box.
One man, a peddler, who was sitting
in the kitchen, tumbled clear over on the
floor when Johnny suddenly let Jack
pop out at him.
Uncle Edward threw his arms up into
the air, and grandpa dodged away into a
corner whenever Jolmny ran up to them
with that terrible little man in the box.
But the fourth Jack-in-the-box was
Nan’s, and she kept it popping back and
forth so constantly that in a day or two
it popped clear out of the box on the
floor.
Then it was more fun than before, for
Nan would catch him, put him back in
the box, and shut him up tight, and
then suddenly touch the lid, when he
would jump maybe half across the
room as briskly as if he were alive, and
looking so comical with his red face and
staring eyes.
At last Nan broke the box. which
spoiled that part of the play, but John
ny in a day or so invented anew way to
use the little man. who was now to be
BUENA VISTA, MARION COUNTY. GA.. SATURDAY, MARCH ‘>6, ISBI.
an ogre, if yon know what dreadful
thing that is.
First Johnny and Nan would build a
tall, strong tower of blocks, with just a
little low door at the bottom.
This was to boa prison for the ogre,
whom they then bravely sought out and
captured, and, pressing him down close
to tho floor, they pushed him through
I he low tower door.
As soon as ho was in, and their hands
wore off, he would spring up to liis full
height inside the tower, and peer at them
wildiy through a crack, but he couldn’t
got out, oh, no !
It was such fun to play ogre that tho
ohilclifon did not tiro of It foi a great
while, but there oame a timo when the
poor little Jack who hadn’t any box lay
forlorn and neglected among a lot of old
toys.
Cousin Ted came in one day and spied
him there. It is a long lane that has no
turning, oven for a broken Jack-in- the
box, and now there was to be more fun
than ever with him.
“Pass him up here, Johnny,” said
Ted, who at the same moment unfolded
a handkerchief, and drew a book toward
himself.
1 * What arc you going to do with him ?”
asked Johnny, wonderingly, as ho
obeyed orders, and Nan left all her dolls
to run and see what was going on.
Cousin Ted put Jack on his middle
linger, and dressed two of his other
lingers in the handkerchief, and then
heicl the book at a proper height before
them.
The effect was that of an irresistibly
droll-faced man making a speech over a
desk.
This is the speech he made, with great
noddings of his head and great wavings
of his hands :
Suppose the trees were all cheese,
The seas were all ink.
It’s enough to m&ke an old man shake,
And scratch his head and sink!
With the last word down ho sank out
of sight behind the book.
It was so funny that Johnny and Nan
fairly danced up and down, and laughed
so hard that papa and mamma came hur
rying in, and then, of course, they had
to laugh, tom
SIXTEEN vhIDDREM AT ONE BIRTH.
A man in Illinois, having sent to a
Washington journal a photograph of
five of liis children who were born on the
same day, assorting that “no other man
can show a picture of five,” the news
paper quiets him with the following
statistics:
“Instances have been found where
chihjren to the number of six, seven,
eighty-nine and sometimes sixteen have
been brought forth at one birth. The
wife of Emanuel Gago, a laborer near
Valladolid, was delivered the 14th of
June, 1799, of five girls. The celebra
ted Tarsin was brought to bed in the
seventh month, at Argenteuil, near
Paris, 17th of July, 1779, of three boys,
each fourteen and a half inches long,
and a girl, thirteen inches. They were
all baptized, but did not live over twen
ty-four hours. In Juno, 1799, one
Maria Ruiz, of Lncena, in Andalusia,
was successively delivered of sixteen
boys, without any girls. Seven of them
were alive on the 16th of August follow
ing. In 1535 a Muscovite peasant
named James Kyrloff and his wife were
presented to the Empress of Russia.
This peasant had been twice married,
and was then 70 years of age. His first
wife was brought to bed twenty-one
times, namely, four times of four chil
dren each time, seven times of three,
and ten times of two, making in all fif
ty-seven children who were then alive.
His second wife, who accompanied him,
had been delivered seven times—once of
three children, and six times of twins.
Thus ho had seventy-two children by
his two marriages. ”
APHORISMS.
Arb we not formed, as notes of music are,
For one another, though dissimilar ?
Newspapers are teachers of disjointed
thinking. — Dr. Hush.
Listen to conscience more than to in
tellect.—F. W. Robertson.
Falsehood may have its hour, but it
has no future.— Pressence.
The symbols of the invisible are the
loveliest of what is visible.— Byron.
Life is so short that it is the worst of
stupidities to waste an hour of it.—Gus
tave Dore.
It is a great misfortune not to have
ait enough to speak well, or not
enough judgment to keep silent — La
Bruyere.
Persons their own faces,
and it’s no more my fault if mino is a
good one that it is other people’s fault if
theirs is a bad one.— Dickens.
No man is born into the world whose work
Is not born with him; there is always work,
And tools to work withal, for those who will,
And blessed are the horny hands of toil.
— Lowell.
With malice toward none, with charity
for all, with firmness in the right, as
God gives us to see the right, let us
strive to finish the work we have begun.
—Lincoln.
A touno fellow in lowa City objected
to paying a Justice $2 as a marriage fee,
and walked off with his girl to find some
body who would perform the ceremony
for §1.50. That chap had what Dr.
Collyer would call “clear grit,”
Devoted to tho Interests of Marion County and Adjoining Sections
HOW INDIANS HETURM CALLS.
A party of Sioux Indians vrero guests
at a leading Milwaukee hotel, says
Peck's Sun, and the ladies had a great
dual of amusement with then, studying
their customs. That is, they ,J 1 did ex
cept one lady. The ladies called upon
tho Indians and the savages returned
tho calls almost beforo the ladks got to
their rooms. One lady cailed on a
chief, and then wont to her rojin and
retired, and pretty soon tb are was a
knock at her door, and she t< and that it
was tho chief. She told liii. to tome in
the morning. Tho lady nnlooks her
door in tho morning so th ter can
come in and build a lie# beforo she gets
np. She heard a knock in the morning,
and supposing it was the porter, she
said. “ Come in.” The door openedaud
in walked Mr. Indian. She took one
look at him and pulled the bed clothes
over her head. He sat down on the side
of tho bed and said “ How 1” Well, she
was so scared that she didn’t know
“ How” from Adam. She said to him
in the best Sioux that she could com
mand, “Please, good Mr. Indian, go
away, until I got up,” but he didn’t
seem to he in a hurry. He picked np
pieces of her wearing apparel from tho
floor, different articles that ho didn’t
seem to know anything aboutwhere they
were worn, and made comments on them
in the Sioux tongue. Tho stockings
seemed to paralyze his untutored mind
the most. They were theso long, 90 de
grees in the shade stockings, and they
were too much for his feeble intellect.
Ho held them up by tho toes and said
“ Ugh!” The lady trembled and wished
ho would go away. He seemed to take
great delight in examining the hair on
tho bureau, and looked at tho lady as
much as to say, “ Poor girl, some hostile
tribe has made war on the pale face and
taken many scalps.” Ho critically ex
amined all the crockery, the wash bowl
and pitcher, but he was struck the worst
at a corset that he found on a chair. He
tried to put it on himself, and was so
handy about it that it occurred to the
lady that ho was not so fresh a delegate
as ho seemed to be. Finally she hap
pened to think of the bell, and she rung
it as though the house was on fire, and
pretty soon the porter came and invited
the Indian to go down stairs and take a
drink. The lady locked that door too
quick, and she will never leave it open
again when there are Indians in town.
She says her hair, on the bureau, fairly
turned gray from fright.
A GOOD REPORTER.
An exchange remarks : “ A good re
porter is always first cousin to a necro
mancer, and can introduce himself to
you in such a genial way that, for the
time being, he seems like y(>ur long-lost
brother, who is anxious to show you the
strawberry-mark on liis left ann in
proof of his identity. Yon talk with
him about the inner secrets of your life
in a profuse sort of way, give him your
opinion about the resumption of specie
payment, and, as the conversation flows,
freely unfold yourself on various other
matters. He sits a silent and admiring
listener, encouraging you by a nod when
you are hunting for the right word, or
possibly supplying it himself, and gives
you the impression that he jvouldn’t dis
close what you have told fcirn —no, not
for worlds on worlds. The next day yon
take up the paper, and, while carelessly
looking over its columns, s<jo yotir own
name in capitals which seeija to your as
tonished gaze as long as Bunker Hill
Monument. Every word, you have said
is there. That man with the strawberry
mark on his arm was the small end of a
speaking trumpet through which you
unconsciously told the whole world all
about yourself. He had no pencil or
paper, and didn’t evince any desire to
write in shorthand. Oh, no; that is
the clumsy way in which beginners
work. His skill is not in his finger-tips,
but in his memory. He memorized
every word you said, and reproduced it
with perfect accuracy. The accom
plished reporter is as nearly übiquitous
as a merely human being ever becomes,
and is beginning to be regarded as a
moral restraint in many respects superior
to the Decalogue. A man in the olden
time might possibly break the Decalogue
and hide the pieces, but nowadays the
moment a law is broken the quick ear
of the reporter catches the sound, and
his persuasive lips compel you to tell
him all about it. He is an annimated
interrogation point; a human corkscrew,
who gets a deeper hold on your secret
every time he turns round. His mission
is summed up in the short, but terrible,
sentence, ‘ If you do it. I’ll tell. ’ ”
A New York millionaire was riding
on Fifth avenue at a rapid speed, when
an important part of the harness gave
way. His brains might have been dashed
upon the pavement had not a brave
newsboy grasped the horse by the bit
before it became entirely unmanageable.
The millionaire sat in his SSOO side-bar
wagon, and, pulling out his SI,OOO watch,
told the newsboy he was “too blank
slow to deserve anything,” but, as he
drew up the reins over the $4,000 horse,
threw him a 10-eent pieoe. The boy
resumed his career of wanton extrava
gance, while the frugal millionaire drove
on to Central Park
HIED or WATER OM THE UR AIM
I guess none o’ you toilers ever heard
o’ the winter o’ 1776, or you’d koep a
lectio mum on the weather question,”
said the old settler, who had come down
from Wuyne county for a little visit.
“I’ve knowed some snortin’ old winters
in my time, but my grandfather’s experi
ence in the winter of ’76 beats anything
o’ mine.
“ My gran’fathor were a great hunter
an’ Irijin killer. Ho fit in the Revylu
tion, all Tong tho Dol’war valley. The
winter o’ ’76 was ter’ble cold. Ev’ry
tliing in these parts was friz up tighter’n
a snaro drum. On one o’ the coldest
days my gran’hither sernck the track o’
some Injins on (lie lulls jest above here.
He fullered ’em, an’ killed a couple on
’em, an’ then started back over the ridge
fur his cabin. My gran’father lived to
be 100 years old, an’ to his dyin’ day he
stuck to it that what I’m goin’ to tell
you were ez true ez preaohin’, an’ I
b’lieve it. He started back fur his cabin
over the ridge. He hadn’ gone fur when
he shot a wolf. He hadn’t much more’n
fired liis ole flintlock when he heerd n
yell off to tho left, an’ lookin’ that way
see a big painter cornin’ for him. Paint
ers was a picnic for the old man, an’ ho
rammed down a big charge o’ powder
an’ reached fur his bullet pouch, when
lo an’ behold ye lit were gond. He lost
it somowhor in the woods. Fightin’
painters without bullets wan’t so much
of a picnic. Besides, the old man had
got cold while standin’ thar, an’ he didn’t
care to tackle an able-bodied painter
while his hands was all stiff. The paint
er come a creepin’ up with his fangs a
showin’ an’ his jaws redder’n a round o’
beef an’ his tail a switchin’ like a cow’s
in fly-time. Cold ez it were, my gran’-
father said the sweat started out on his
forrid an’ rolled down his cheeks big
ger’n hoss ches’nuts. They dropped on
the ground in big balls, fur they friz ez
fast ez they fell. They piled up at his
feet, an’ tho painter kep’ a creepin’ up.
Suddintly an idea hit my gran’father
plumb in the top-knot. He grabbed up
a han’ful o’ the sweat ez were friz in
balls an’ poured ’em in his muskit.
“ ‘lf I kin git these in on that painter
’fore they melt,’ he thinks to bisself,
‘ mebbe they’ll settle his hash. ’
‘ ‘ After crammin" the sweat o’ his brow
in the mnsitit, my gran’father blazed
away. But the heat o’ the gun-bar’l had
melted the ice-balls, an’ they went out’n
the gun like a stream o’ water out’n a
hose. But the cold weather won’t fool
in’ round there for nothin’, an’ ’fore the
stream o’ water had gone three foot it
was friz inter a solid chunk, an’ went
kerplinkerty inter the painter’s skull.
But my gran’father said he owed liis
life to natur arter all, fur the chargo o’
ice never would a made the painter give
up the ghost, an’ it never would had no
effect on him at all only there wasn’t
force ’nough to drive it clean through
his head. That saved my gran’father
from a chawin’. The chunk o’ ice
stopped in the skulk The animal heat
melted it, an’ ’fore the painter could re
cooperate an’ git his work in on the old
man ho died of water on the brain. I
was alius sorry my gran’father didn’t
have that painter stuffed an’ handed
down to the family,” concluded the old
6etiler, as he adjourned with the boys
for refreshments.
BLACK WALNUT FOR TIMBER.
The growing demand for black walnut
for timber, together with the acknowl
edged scarcity of this wood, opens a
road to profitable planting. There are
so many uses to which walnut wood is
being put, such as its use by sewing
machine and furniture manufacturers,
that there could hardly be an over sup
ply. No doubt many persons have
fields from which but little profit now
comes and on which the walnut could be
successfully grown. The nnts of this !
tree grow easily, and conld thus be
planted where the tree is wanted. Usu
ally, seedling trees have first to be raised
in a bed, and then transplanted when a
year or two old. But, if the nuts of
walnut be sound, they sprout easily,
and one to a hill, so to speak, will be
sufficient. Walnut trees grow very fast]
and, when planted in rich ground, make
large trees, bearing nuts, in eight or ten
years. Ground should not be allowed
to remain idle. Be it ever so poor, there
is some profit to be got out of it by ju
dicious planting of trees.
THE DIFFERENCE IN PCTTINO ON
SKATES.
A pretty girl, with a handsome little
foot attached to a fat, plump ankle, can,
if she wants to, put on a pair of skates
in less than two minutes. We could
put new harness on twenty-seven young
unbroken mules while some young men
are engaged in putting the skates upon
the “ tootsy-tootsys ” of a pretty girl,
and the prettier the girl the longer these
young men are in applying the runners
to their feet. If she likes the young
man, you can bet your ear-muffs she
ain’t in a hurry to be np and off. Catch
a girl with a pair of hoofs hung to her
as big as a pair of canvased hams, and
you bet she can either put on her own
skates, or the fellow that does it for her
is in a big hurry.— Exchange,
AViCUNT OF SUBSCRIPTION, $1.26
MOW A rENNISSSEE WOMAN SATIS
rum unit conscience.
I hiring the war n good and conscien
t iouH woman went into a Tennessee city
to make some purchases. The place
was then in the possession of the Fed
eral soldiers. Tli a lady in question had
no trouble getting into the city, but get
ting out was quite a different matter.
She was halted by the pickets, who de
manded her pass. She had none, and
was told to return to the Provost Mar
shal’s office and provide herself with the
necessary document. Here she likewise
bad trouble. The Marshal asked her
name and, after some conversation with
tier, that, oho rrtun a considera
ble rebel in her sentiments and feelings.
She was informed that she could not get
a pass without taking the oath. This
she vowed sho would not do. The offi
cer very promptly told her that she
could take the oath or remain in the
city.
She stood to it for several hours that
she would not take the oath ; but, as the
day wore on and she thought of the lit
tle ones at home, she began to relent,
and said she would take the oath if al
lowed to visit a drug store and get some
tiling to appease her conscience. The
officers thought she meditated suicide,
and a guard was sent to watch her move
ments. She asked the druggist for a
good big dose of ipecac. It was meas
ured out to her, and, armed with tliis,
she returned to the Provost Marshal’s
office, and stated that for the sake of her
children she was willing to swallow that
oath; and, exhibiting her dose of ipe
cac, sho added, “I guess when I get out
of this town I will be able to fetch it
off my conscience.” She swallowed the
oath, and it is said that she sent the ip
ecac close after it with a search-warrant.
About the time she reached the picket
station on the outskirts of the city, she
received a message from the ipecac to
the effect that its return might be looked
for at any moment. Shortly afterward
it arrived, and, when the returns were
all counted, the woman was fully satis
fied that no lingering trace of the oath,
or anything else, as for that matter, had
been left in the neighborhood which the
ipecac had visited. She was also satis
fied with the experiment, and was as
bold a little rebel as sho had been be
fore.—Clarksville Tobacco Leaf,
nxr wine.
A mild curiosity might be excited,
possibly, over the question as to how
many occasional, or even habitual, wine
drinkers know’ the meaning of the word
“ dry” as applied to wines. Asa rule,
it would seem to be much more justly
applicable to a man himself than to any
thing in the bottle or glass before him.
It is strictly a “trade term,” but it
has a sufficiently distinct and definite
meaning.
When a wine has been permitted to
continue the process of its fermentation
until it has converted all of its natural
sugar into spirit, and has properly de
veloped all of its natural acid, it becomes,
technically, a “dry wine.”
When, however, a wine has been at
all sweetened, or has had its natural fer
mentation arrested by the addition of
spirit, it is not a dry wine.
As applied to champagne of any brand
whatever, the term “ diy ” is a practical
“misnomer,” for there are no cham
pagne wines in existence to which more
or less of “rock candy” has not been
added in the making.
The only difference, for instance, be
tween a “dry” and an “extra ary"
champagne is in the amount of liqueur
which has been added to the grape juice.
For the finest brands, the French
make a liqueur of brandy and rock
candy, and in most cases they also add
a delicate flavoring extract.
These tilings may indeed promote
“dryness ” in the drinker, but they dp
not increase the amount of natural acid
in the wine itself. — Dewey’s Wine
Journal.
A LECTURE ON ASTRONOMY.
At a school near London, the learned
master was lately giving a lecture on as
tronomy, and, after alluding to the rep
resentation of the world on the shoul
ders of Atlas, asked the class generally
on what Atlas stood. One replied, aB
the world was made out of chaos, he
must stand on chaos ; another conject
ured, on a rock ; when a lad from Car
diff, at the bottom of the class, ex
claimed, “I know, sir.” “Indeed!”
replied the doctor; “ pray tell us on
what you think he stood.” “I know,’
answered the boy, “ but it is not my
turn yet.” When the question passed
to him, the whole class was on tiptoe to
hear the young Welshman’s idea; when,
with an air of consequence, he ex
claimed, “On his legs, to be sure I On
what else could he stand ? ”
In golden days the JBurgesses of
Grimsby w’ere won’t to decide which
among them should be Mayor by a very
odd process. Having chosen three of
their number as eligible for the position,
they blinded them, tied bunohes of hay
at their backs, and conducted them to
the common pound, where a call await
ed their coming. He whose bunch of
hay was first eaten by the calf was pro
nounced worthy of the Mayoralty, and
installed into office accordingly.
NO. 29.
TOILET RECIPES.
To Remove Pimples, —Two ounces of
bi-earbonato of soda, one drachm of
glycerine, one ounce of spermaceti oint
ment.
Face Wash. —Two grains of bi-chlo
ride of mercury, two grains of muriate of
ammonia, eight ounces of emulsion of
almonds.
Cam op the Naha— Brush them
carefully at least once a day, according
to one’s work, poshing book the flesh
from the nail, thus avoiding hang-nails.
Under no circumstances bito them, but
trim with either scissors or penknife.
Do not out the nails shorter than tho
fingers, or both wLI soon have a stubby
appearance; and clean them with a
blunt, not sharp, point.
Pubiktino the BHEATH.— FouI breath
is usually caused by an unhealthy state
of the stomach or poor teeth. If caused
by the first, the physician should bo
called upon ; if the latter, apply to the
dentist. If from neither, take ohlorate
of lime, seven drachms; gum arable,
five drachms; to be mixed with warm
water to a stiff paste, rolled and cut into
lozenges. These will arrest decay in
the teeth and neutralize acidity of tho
stomach, and will also remove all trace
of tobacco from tho breath.
Case op the Teeth. —They should be
brushed carefully after each meal, and
particularly after supper just before go
ing to bed, as what particles as may be
left on the teeth after eating very soon
destroy them. Brushing the teeth onoe
a day with pure white castile soap will
keep them clean and white. If you can
not remove tho tartar that may accumu
late by the use of a brush, take pow
dered pumice stone, and, with a small
stick made into a fine brush at the end,
nib the teeth carefully with the pumice
stone. Once a month will do for this,
because, if practiced too often, it is apt
to destroy the enamel.
Restoring the Colob op the Hath.—
When the hair loses oolor, it may be re
stored by bathing the head in a weak
solution of ammonia—an even teaspoon
ful of carbonate of ammonia to a quart
of water —washing the head with a crash
mitten and brushing the hair thoroughly
while wet. Bathing the head in a strong
solution of rock salt is said to restore
gray hair in some cases. Pour boiling
water on rock salt in the proportion of
two heaping table-spoonfuls to a quart
of water and let it stand before using.
Ammonia, if nsed too often, makes the
hair lighter, and, if in a strong solution,
burns and splits the hair.
HUMAN NOSES.
A writer in one of the English news
papers says: Francis Grose, in his ap
pendix to Hogarth’s “Elements of
Beauty,” delineates eight typical noses.
There is the angular, the aquiline or
Roman, the parrot’s beak, the straight
or Grecian, the bulbous or bottled, the
tumed-up or snub, and the mixed or
broken. Of the latter, by the way, the
noses of at least two illustrious men may
be token as illustrations—Tycho Brahe
and Michael Angelo, the latter of whom
owed his ungraceful appendix to a vio
lent blow from a companion with whom
he was at variance, and who thus disfig
ured the great artist for life, and in
stantly fled. To these may be added
the orator Cicero, upon whom nature
seems to have bestowed a nasal organ of
a type decidedly “mixed,” if not broken.
Plutarch, in his life of the querulous
Roman, says that he had a fiat excres
cence on the top of his nose in resem
blance of a vetch— ciccr in Latin—from
which he took his surname. Pliny says,
with more probability, that the name
originated in an extensive cultivation of
vetches, just as others had previously
l>een sumamed from crops of other
kinds. However this may be, the fact
of Cicero’s snub nose may no doubt be
accepted, and it accords with the tradi
tional belief that this description of
nose is usually indicative of a fiery,
quick, impetuous temper, Cicero having
possessed this characteristic in a marked
degree. Horace seems to regard the
short nose, with a little turn-up at the
end, as the mark of a person given a
good deal to jibing and jeering. Mar
tial calls it the rhinoceros nose, and
says that it was highly fashionable
in his day, every laxly affecting this
kind of proboscis as an indication
of a satirical humor. The “angular”
nose, as Grose calls it, is the long, clear
ly cut, pointed organ, and was, no
doubt, the type to which Horace alludes
when he says it is indicative of satirical
wit. The “parrot peak” is the nose
with which Mr. Punch usually adorns
his caricature of the Sultan or Khedive
and is akin to the typical Jewish nose
all over the world. The eight types
given embrace every description of the
feature, and students of caricature are
Btrongly recommended in the treatise al
luded to make themselves perfectly fa
miliar with the simple lines by which
these curiously comprehensive sketches
are effected. Avery singular fact has
been observed with regard not so much
to the shape of the nose as to the setting
of it in the face, so to speak. To be
strictly correct, from the artist’s point
of view, the nose should be accurately
in the middle of the face and at right
angles with line from the pupil
of one eye to that of the other. Asa
matter of fact, it is rarely ever found
thus placed. It is almost Invariably a
little out of “the square,” and the fact
of it being so is often that which lend*
a peculiar expression and piquancy to
the face. A medical writer points out
that there are anatomical reasons why
a slight deviation from tho true centra)
line may be expected, and that the nos*
which is thus accurately straight be
tween the two eyes may be considered
an abnormal one and that the only ab
solutely correct organ is that which
deviates a little to the right oi left