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BY S. B.
SANDEESVILLE, GEORGIA, TUESDAY, JUNE 1, 1852.
VOL. YI--NO: 19.
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POETRY.
THE OL1> HOUSE.
There’s a spot that I love, there’s a home that
I prize
Far better than any on earth ;
It is bound to my heart by the holiest of ties;
And I prize, oh ! how fondly, its worth—
’Tis not beauty nor splendor, endears it to me,
Oh no ! for its grandeur hath flown ;
But ’tis fondest affection that binds me to thee
My old house—my dear happy home !
Oh ! home—what dear magic in that sweet
sound :
How closely it speaks to the heart;
What a world of deep tenderness in thee is
found;
Oh ! who from such treasure could part ?
Could barter the joys of a sweet home of love,
For a patli in a strange world unknown;
Could seek for vain pleasures and heartlessly
rove,
If they knew the real value of home l
Some sigh to be wealthy, some seek to be
great,
Some envy what others ~an do ;
But oh! I am content with my lowly estate,
For the hearts all around me are true;
And ties that are nearest and dearest to me,
And hearts that are truly mine own,
With fondest affection now bind me to thee,
My old house—my dear happy home !
’Zacfely So.
The man that now a-days will write
And not pre-pay his letter,
Is worser than the heathens are,
What don’t know any better,—
And if you take a fine tooth comb,
And rake down “all creation,”
You couldn’t find a meaner man
In this here mighty nation.
MlSCELLANEO US.
and the elephants was unharnessed, and the
Car of Jugglenct was into a woodshed. I
made up my mind right off, then, that the
hull consarn was a humbug.’!
“Was Barnum aware,” I asked, “thatyou
were to be in town?”
“Not as I know,” was the answer.
“If he had known it,” added the Major,
“he would doubtless have waited. But you
visited the exhibition, I suppose?”
“Of course; I was bound to do that, if it
bust me. That was a bigger humbug than
all the rest.”
“How so!”
“Why, in the first place, I expected to
see Jenny Lind.”
“Was she announced in the bills?”
“I don’t know; I didn’t read ’em, but I
axed the man that stuck up the pictures if
she’d be there, and he said yes, and that
she would sing the bird song standin’ on
top of a cage of coccatoos and parrots. She
wan’t there, and I never seen one side of
her—and then I know’d the whole consarn
was a darned humbug.
“Well, then, I went round and took a
look at the elephants—had hard work to
get round, tu; there was mor’n a hundred
thousand people in the tent. Finally I got
where they was, and the folks was all feedin’
’eni with apples and cakes and things. I
had some doughnuts in my hat, so I held
it out to one of the darned things, to see if
he’d take one?”
“Did he take one?”
“He took ’em all, and the hat tit, stuck
’em in his nasty, peaked mouth, and begun
eatin.’ I hollered to the keeper, and told
him it was a bran new hat. He said never
mind, he’d get it again.”
“Did he get it?”
“Yes, he got it, but a hat ain’t of much
account after an elephant’s chawed it. Then,
I’d a sworn the hull consarn was a humbug.
Well, I took a look at Tom Thumb, and
the Cevlong Chief, and the man that fiddled
with his toes, and the feller that went with
the lions. The wild animals was all well
enough, but I didn’t see as they looked any
different from anybody else’s. I expected
Barnum’s lions, would be twice as big as
any others. There was one thing, though,
that was fust-rate; that was the wax statua-
tary—especially the “intemperance family.”
I told the man that tuk care of it, I wished
everybody that ever drinked a drop of sper
rits had to stand and look at that about a
week—-they’d never want to drink again
He said he wished so tu.
“Take it all in all, though, I was mad; 1
didn’t see what I expected, and I didn’t like
the idea of being humbugged, so I enquired
of one of the men that was stirrin’ up the
monkies where Barnum was, and he point
ed him out to me, selling lemonade out of a
wagon. I went up to him, and, thinks I,
“I’ll give him a piece of my mind.” Sez
I—
“Mr. Barnum——”
THE MAN
THAT GOT HUMBUGGED.
The stage in which I was a passenger
had stopped to change horses, and “feed”
the passengers, at a small town in Vermont,
and dinner over, we were awaiting the ar
rival of a stage upon an intersecting route,
to proceed upon our journey. Cigars had
been lighted, and, by way of passing our
time, we had commenced a critical exami
nation of the mammoth pictorial posters of
Barnum’s Menageries, which covered the
walls of the spacious bar-room,
name opened a fruitful topic of conversa- 1
tion; every one present seemed stored with
anecdotes of the “Napoleon of Showmen,”
and the Wooily Horse, the Feejee Mermaid,
and Joice Heth, were not forgotten in the
discussion which followed.
Suddenly a long, slab-sided individual,
“Sixpence a glass,” sez he.
“I looked at his lemonade; there was just
one lone, solitary, second-handed slice of
lemon in a whole wash-tub full of it, and he
peddlin’ it out at sixpence a glass. That
made me madder than all the rest, so says
I, loud and audibly—
“Mr. Barnum, I think your show’s a
darned humbug.”
“Young man,” sez he, “I s’pose you paid
to come in?”
“Supposin’ I did?” sez I.
“Well,” sez he, “supposin’ you have; you
have paid your quarter, and you’ve a
perfect right to think just what you please.”
“Why,” said the Major, after the sensa
tion caused by the recital had somewhat
subsided, “why did you not demand your
money back? You certainly could have
compelled them to refund your quarter.”
“You see the truth is,” said Jonathan
scratching his head, “I didn’t pay no quar
ter—/ crawled in \under the canvass.—
Spirit of the Times.
Salt as a Laxative.—Here is what the
“Western Journal of Medicine and Surgery’
Barnum’s I sa y S about common salt as a useful and mild
laxative:
“Without any experience in regard to
the febrifuge powers of the chloride of sodi
um, we can speak with great confidence of
its efficacy, in habitual constipation. Of
all the laxatives we have ever tried, we
w havE found this to act most pieasantlv, uni-
with an owl-like expression of wisdom and formly, and naturally. Where the only ob-
V * * A 11 m l. n /l 1% A a tA 1 1 a m « v\ a. 4- a a 11 tt wa * i * i 1 1 * 1 J a. a 4 In a a A n f AtV fo At" I n A nA V XT _
{^CORRESPONDENCE OF THE BALT. SUN.]
Escape of a Maryland Fugitive.
Unworthy Evasion of the Fugitive Law
New York, May 18.
The first of the forewell concerts of Miss
Jenny (Lind) Goldschmidt takes plaee to
night, at the Metropolitan Hall, and from
present indications there will be a large
audience on the occasion.
A most nefarious mancevre, on the part
of sundry black and white abolitionists of
this city, has just been made public, show
ing how, through the aid of executive cle
mency, a slave-owner of your State, Dr
Allen Thomas, of Ellicott’s Mills, has been
defrauded out of his rightful property in
the person of a colored man, named Nicho
las Dudley. Some three years since this
slave ran away from his owner and came
to this city, where, about a year afterwards
he was arrested on the charge of robbery,
In bis distress be thought of bis kind-hear
ted master, and wrote to him, begging bis
interference in his behalf. Dr. Thomas im
mediately sent to New York and endeav
ored to have the negro acquitted, in which
he would doubtless have succeeded but lor
the interference of an abolition lawyer, who
pursuaded the negro to “plead guilty” to
the charge, so that he might not go back
to his master. The negro took his advice
and wassentenced to the penitentiary for
two years.
Recently the master of that slave wrote
to the Governor of this State to ascertain if
the slave had been pardoned, and receiv
ing a negative reply, immediately took the
necessary legal steps to reclaim him on the
expiration of his sentence, the 10th of the
present month. One of the deputy mar
shals, accompanied Dr. Thomas, arriving
with the warrant at Sing Sing, two before
the expiration of the convict’s time, greatly
to their surprise they found that he had
been pardoned and released that very morn
ing, the abolitionists having procured
pardon from the Governor as soon as they
beard of the presence of Dr. Thomas in the
city. The granting and execution of the
pardon in such a secret and hasty manner,
without any publication of the fact being
made in any of the papers, as required by
the law, would seem to leave the inference
that his Excellency has lent himself a will
ing tool to the nefarious efforts of the abo
litionists to defraud the right owner of this
slave out of his property and defeat the op
erations of the fugitive slave law, but it
may be that he was imposed on by the
abolitionists. It is said that a speaker, at
the abolition meeting held at the Taberna
cle, in this city, a few days since, actually
alluded to this affair, and boasted that Gov
ernor Hunt had “freed the man from his
enemies by pardoning him two days before
his time was out.”
dignity, who had been listening to our re
marks with an evident desire to take a hand,
broke out—
“I s’pose you think that’s an all-fired big
concern! Anybody would that hadn’t seen
it.”
“Then I suppose you have seen it?” said
my legal friend.
“Yeas, I seen it at Springfield,” was the
replv; “it’s a darned humbug/”
“Is it possible?” said the Major, seeing a
prospect of fun. “Couldn’t you oblige us
with a description of the “institution?”
“Certainly,” answered Jonathan; “here’s
the stage, and as soon as we get started,
I’ll give you all the items. They can’t hum
bug me very often, and when they do, I
cal’late to advertise for ’em till I get square.”
In a few minutes we were under head-
. way, and our verdant friend commenced
unbosoming himself.
“Yer see, Barnum was a going to show
his caravan down, to Springfield, Fourth - of
July, and I thought there’d be a good
chance to see the elephant and celebrate the
day both atono’t. What I wanted to see
more than all the rest was the Car of Jug-
glenot, drawn by a string of elephants.”
“Did it meet your expectations?”
“I never seen one side of it. Before I
got in-town, they’d got through paradin,”
ject is the dislodge the contents of the bow
els, it is all that physician or patient could de
sire. Dysyeptics, sedentary persons, the
subjects of the hemorrhoids, all in a word,
who are troubled with costivness, will find
the remedy a mild and sure cathartic, emp
tying the bowels freely without nausea, ir
ritation, or exhaustion. We direct it to be
taken before breakfast, from two to three
drachms, dissolved in two or three tumblers
of cold water. The same dose continues to
act from year to year, without diminution of
effect.”
jjggr A daring villain, entered the resi
dence of Harvey Seymour, of Rochester,
New York, while Mrs. Seymour was alone
and engaged in ironing-in the kitchen. The
lady saw him first by her side, with a large
knife in his hand, with which he threatened
to kill her, if she did not tell him where the
money was kept. Retaining her presence
of mind, she told him to wait till she could
rock her babe, which the noise had awoke.
The cradle stood beside a louqge and as
she got to the lounge she drew a pistol, and
told him to leave, or she would shoot him.
He cried out, “Don’t shoot,” and jump
ed out of the window.—Mrs. Seymour, on
his departure, went into the next house,
where her courage failed, and she fainted.
“Scull your own Boat.”
“When I see a young farmer, mechanic
or professional man lounging away his time
in a bar-room, or in places of fashionable
resort, with a cigar in bis mouth, I think
to myself-yoM had better be sculling your
own boat!
“When I see a young man talking loud
ly about government and gin, colonels and
cognac—corporals and cider—and giving
evidence of his knowledge of them by abus :
ing the former and frequently tasting the
latter, I eannot help saying (to myself, of
course,) if you have a boat, you had better
scull it!
“When I see a person'prying inquisitive
ly into the affairs of others, guessing at what
they do not know, and putting unfavorable
constructions on the whole; I say, scull your
own boat!
“When I see a farmer at night patching
up the fence by the side of his cornfields,
and hear him the next morning driving his
cattle from the same field, thinks I to my
self, his boat won't stay sculled!
“When I see a woman going about advo
cating Woman’s Rights, with holes in the
heels of her stockins, I cannot help saying,
madam your, boat needs sculling, very
much indeed!
“When I see a young man mortgaging
the whole or a part of his form, or other avail
able property to get money to pay as boot in
trading horses, or stakes lost gambling, lfeel
very certain that some one else will scull his
boat!
“And when I see persons making a reg
ular business of tattling, gossping, tale
bearing, mischief-making, backbiting, scan
dalizing, defaming and slandering their
neighbors, in every possible manner, to
such persons collectively and generally, and
to each and every one individually and
particularly, I say, scull your own boat!"
jjgf*A gentleman recently from Afr ica
while at one of the civilized colonies on the
coast, met a young colored woman whom he
had known in Old Virginia, who had ob
tained her freedom for good conduct, and
had emigrated to Liberia. “Where, are you
traveling to, Mary?” said the gentleman.
“I’m going down to the village on the sea
shore. I’m tired of seeing niggar, niggar!
I want to see some white folks?” “But are
you doing well here?” “O, very well. I
have four slaves who make palm leaf hats.”
“Slaves, Mary! You emancipated, to have
slaves in your own land?” “Oh, yes>” said
she, with great simplicity,” must do as they
do in Old Virginia.”
Squeezing the wrist, the Philadelphia
Dispatch affirms, is a certain remedy for
hiccough. This mode of cure will be quite
popular among the ladies, who will not
belie vejthe cure efficacious unless the squeez
ing is done by a gentleman. -
Coronation of Emperor Soloque
The New York Herald contains a detail
ed account of the grand ceremony of the
coronation of the sable Emperor of Hayti.
It is represented to have been a most mag-
nigeent affair, and was solemnized in the
presence of the “dignity-rand wealth of the
Eempire.” A correspondent of the N. Y.
Express says:
After the crowning of the Imperial hair,
(wool lie should have said,) the solemn ben
ediction and imposition of bauds, according
to the rites of the Popish Church, the pro
cession formed and moved towards the pal
ace. The coronation of Napoleon was out
shone in the cost and splender of the crown
its jewels glittering like stars in the firma
ment, and the number of nobles and mar
shals far outnumbered those who danced
attendance at St. Cloud; an I I am very
doubtful ii Louis Napoleon’s coronationl wil
exceed that of Soloque 1st. On the 25th,
it is said that a new creation of nobilty
will take place, to give the Emperor proper
eclat. Business is entirely suspended, and
will not resume until May 1st. The popu
lation of the Island, you would imagine if
here are congregated in this city, and over
20,000 persons are encamped outside.
The Herald says:—
As an appendix to this great coronation
ceremony* we have heard on good authority,
that the Emperor has already sanctioned the
sending of an embasy to Lola montes, to
solicit her hand for the prince bobo, whom
she heretofore rejected. Preparations are
being made on a grand scale, so that Lola
will once more have the chance of play
ing her favorite part in the character of
Qeen.
If Lola don’t pitch into the incorruptible
editor of the Herald for that, then she’s not
the woman we take her for. The editor con
tinues in more sensible vein:
The representation of this farce ought cer
tainly to satisfy all creation that Hayti is a
great EmTire—that Solopue and his dingy
escort have proved themselves worthy of
their royal bretheren in Europe; and that
the negroes of San Domingo are good im
itators of their more polished white breth
ren living under imperial sway in Furope.
The Havtiens are incapable of independant
thougt or action, and merely burlesque
the empty and meaning less parape of other
natious. They are fast deteriorating in
inteligence and civilization. The negroes
of the British West India Islands are also
tending towards the same poinr; and if
their independauce were given to them by
the English government they would soon
have their Emperors, in the same way as
Hayti.—African barbarism and European
refiinement display such close similarity in
these ridculous and silly exhibitions. Les
extremes se touchent.
A Temperance Joice.—Joe Harris was
whole-souled merry fellow, and very fond of
a glass. After living in New Orleans for
many years, he came to the conclusion of
visiting an old uncle, away up in Massachu
setts, whom be had not seen for years. Now,
Mr. Pick, you know the difference between
New Orleans and Massachusetts, in regard
to the use of ardent spirits, and when Joe
arrived there and found all the people run
mad about temperance, he felt bad, think
ing with the ofd soug, that “keeping the
spirits up by pouring the spirits down,” was
one of the best ways to make time pass, and
began to fear indeed that he was in a pickle.
But on the morning of his arrival, the old
man and his sons being out work, his aunt
came to him and said—
‘Joe, you have been living in the South,
and no doubt are in the habit of taking .a
little something to drink about 11 o’clock.
Now, I keep something for medicinal purpo
ses, but let no one know it, as my husband
wants to set the boys a good example.
Joe promised thinking he would get no
more that day, took, as he expressed it a
“buster.” After that he walked out to the
stable, and who should he meet but his un
cle. "-v
“Well Joe,” says he, “I expect you are
accustomed* to drink something in New
Orleans but you find us all temperance here,
and for the sake of my sons. I don’t let them
know I have any brandy about; but I just
keep a little out here for my rheumatism.
Will you accept a little?”
Joe signified his readiness, and took a-
nother big horn. Continuing his walk, he
came to where the boys were mauling rails.
After conversing awhile, one of his cousins
said—-“Joe, I expect you would like to have
a drink, and as the old folks are down on
liquor we keep some out here to help us on
with our work.”
Out came the bottle, and down they sat,
and he says by the time he went home to
dinner, he was as tight as he could be, and
all from visiting a temperance family.
A Rich Case.
Some years ago an Irishman was knock
ed down and robbed. He accused a man
of having committed the robbery ; in due
time the case came up for trial. The Ir
ishman being upon the stand, was cross-ex
amined, after having sworn positively to
the guilt of the prisoner, by one of .our
keen lawyers, arid something like the fol
lowing was the result:
“You say that the prisoner at the bar was
the man who assaulted and robbed you?”
“Yes.”
“Was it moonlight when the occurrence
took place ?’,
“Devil a bit of it.”
“Was it starlight ?”
“Nota whit; it was so dark that you
could not have seen your hand before you.’
“Was there any light shining from any
house near by ?”
“Devil a bit iv house was there*any where
about.”
“Well, then, if there was no moon, no
starlight and no light from any house & so
dark that you couldn’t see even your hand
before you how are you able to swear that
the prisoner is the man ? How did you
see him ?”
“Well, your honor, when the spalpeen
Interne (may the devil fly away wid him)the
fire flew out of my eyes, so bright you might
have seen to pick up a pin ; you could be
jabers.”
The court, jury, counsel and spectators,
exploded with shouts at this quaint idea,
and the prisoner was directly after declared
not guilty.
A Doctor as is a Doctor.—A country
physician was called upon to visit a young
man afflicted with the apploplexy. M. D.
Bolus gazed long and hard, felt his pulse
and pocket, looked at his tongue- and his
wife, and finally gave vent to the following
sublime opinion:
“I think he’s a gone feller.” ,
“No, no 1” exclaimed the sorrowing wife
“do not say that.”
“Yes,” returned Bolus, lifting up his hat
and eyes heavenward at the same time.
‘,Yes, I do say so ; there arn’t no hope not
the leastest mite ; he’s got an attack of ni
hill fit in his lost frontis ”
“Where ?” cried the startled wife.
“In his lost frontis, and he can’t be cured
without some trouble and a great deal of
pains. You see his whole planetory sys
tem is deranged, fustly, his vox populi is
pressin on his ad valorem; seconly his ca-
facharpial cutaneous has swelled considera
bly, if not more ; thirdly, and lastly his so
lar ribs are in a concussed state, and he
arn’t got any money, and consequently he
is bound to die.
Queer if True.—A correspondent in D—
County, Ohio, relates the following iccident
as occurring in a villagechurch in his neigh
borhood:
“At the close of the service, last Sunday
the following announcement were made,
with due solemitv by one of the fathers :
“Prayer meeting at Brother Wood’s next
Thursday evening, also, a ‘shooting match'
at Brother Rahn’s on Christmas. We
hope the lovers of the good cause, and
good venison, will turn out generaly on
both occasions. With respect to the latter
we may remark: Brother Rahn is a worthy
man, though poor, and any assistance in
this wav will he thankfully received.’
“Annctual fact, without the slightest ex
aggeration.’
The Pocket-Book'
Scene First.—A young Gent discovered
surrounded by bisiriends, who are jest
ing with him, regarding his attentions to
a certain young lady.
Young Gent.—“Boys, I’ll just tell you
how it is. You see I care nothing for the
girl—it’s the old man’s pocket book that
Pin after.”
Chorus of Friends.—“Ha! ha! ha!”
Scene Second.—A parlor. Time 11 o’clock,
P. M. Young lady seated. Yotrag gent
rising to depart. Hesitates as if bashful,
and then slowly remarks:
“Miss Matilda, excuse me, but you must
be aware that my frequent visits—my at
tentions—cannot have been without an ob
ject—”
Young Lady.—“Ah, yes, so I’ve heard,
and shall only be too happy to grant what
you desire. [ Takes from the table a paper
parcel, and unfolding it displays a large
old-fashioned, and empty morocco pocket-
book.] This, I have been informed, is that
object. Permit me to present it, and con
gratulate you that you will in future, have
no further occasion to renew these visits
and attentions.
Yqung Gent swoons.
Does a Man own his Wife when she is
Veadl—-A Curious case has been lately
submitted to the civil tribunal of the Seine
Ponis. M. Appert, a tradesman, demand
ed that he should be declared entitled to
the possession of the mortal remains of his
wife, who died in 1827, and was buried in
the Cemotry of Pere la Chaise. It was
stated during the hearing, that though he
had married a second time, he had made a
point of annually visiting the tomb of the
deceased wife, and that on going there on
last All Soul’ Day, he was surprised to find
the tomb demolished, and to learn that the
coffin had been removed to the family vault
of M. Legras, the deceased’s father.
A good deal of learned argument was
entered into as to whether the remains of
a deceased female were the rightful proper
ty of her husband or her father; the tribu
nal finally decided in favor of the husband.
It accordingly ordered that as it was desi
rable not to disturb the repose of the dead.
M. Appert should be declared proprietor of
the uew tomb to which the remains of bis
wile had been removed and that her father
should be forbidden to have anything to do
with it. It also condemned the father, M.
Legras to the costs.—Exchange.
Editor of the Washington Union.—A
Washington letter says: Mr. Edmund
Burke, of New Hampshire, formerly con
nected with the Union, will, in all proba
bility, become the editor and joint propri
etor of that paper after the Presidential
nominations; though General Armstrong
objects to forming any new connection be
fore that period. Mr. Burke is known
throughout the country as the ablest polit
ical writer on the Democratic side—a man
who grapples with principles, and is able
to argue his cause, instead of confini
himself, as so many other partisan “ editors
are wont to do, to a system of professional
puffery of political friends, and malignant
aspersions of political foes. He has never
puffed a pigmy into a statesman, or enlarg
ed upon the heroic virtues of a village Cae
sar merely because that Caesar (God save
the mark!) was a toady to his love.
jSSP “John,” inquired a dominie of a
hopeful pupil, “what is a nailor?”
“A man who makes nails,” said John.
“Very good. What is a tailer?”
“One who make’s tails.”
“O, you stupid fellow,” said the dominie,
biting his lips, ,‘a man who makes tails.”
“Yes, 1 master,” returned John, “if the
The California Fugitive Slave Bill.—
The bill which has passed the California
Legislature in relation to fugitive slaves,
provides for the surrender, to their original
masters, of all colored people in California
thus virtually repudiating the doctrine that
California was a free territory by virtue of
its old Mexican law, and that slaves could
not be held there to service after the con
quest. Mr. Van Buren, a member of the
Legislature, who figured in New York at
the last Presidential election as a free-soiler
voted for it; while Mr. Broderick, formerly a
New York hunker, bitterly opposed its pas
sage. It is said there are no slaves in Cali
fornia to which the bill will be applicable.
The other day, while a fire was raging in
tailor did not put tails to the coats he made j Detroit, a gentleman of prepossessing ap-
they would be all-jackets!” j pearan.ee rushed for the Free Press office,
- ■ " —“ j exclaiming in heart-rending tones to the gal-
JES^An invincible wit and punster asked ■ lant firemen, “Gentlemen, for Heaven’s sake
the captain oferaft, loaded wits boards, how j save the Bank—if that burns I am ruined;
he managed to dinner on the passage. they have got my note locked up there.”
“Why,” replied the seipper, “we always —— : —
cook aboard” f An exchange tells of a- chap who
“Cook a board, do you?”rejoined the wag j boasted that his father was a revolutionary
“then T see you have beau well provided hero. It turned outthat the old gentleman
with provisions this trip, at all events!”
%
had beenlong on the treadmill.
Raising the Price of Board.-—At the
time of General Taylor’s inauguration, a long
tall, hungry, ungainly fellow, whose hands
hung as low as his knees when he stood up-
straight, made his appearance at Coleman’s
and took lodgings. He sat pretty near the
end of the table every day at dinner, and ate
inordinately. Soup, fish, flesh, fowl, des
ert, his enormous long arms kept sweeping
round like the arms of a huge windmill,
gathering in everything that fell within the
arcs of a circle they described.
His voracity and beastly gluttonny so
disgusted'the other boarders, that, about a
dozen of them went to Coleman and told
him that he must get rid of the fellow or
they would positivly quit the house.
Coleman reflected a while, and finally
thought he had hit upon a plan. So he
took the fellow aside, and told him that,
owing to the unusal crowd of people in the
city, and plethora of every hoteKan board-
ing-house, provisions bad become scarce
and high, and he fond that he was loosing
money, and should be compelled to raise the
price of board, from two dollars and a half
to three dollors a day.
“Don’t” said the fellow, “don’t do it! I
shall die if you do. It nearly kills me now
to eat two dollars and a half’s worth and if
you raise the price to th^ee dollars, I shall
die in two
please!”
days. Don’t do it, if you
I heard a good story the other day
writes recently our friend and correspondent
Carl Benson, from Paris, which may amuse
you. The cure of Neverrnindwhere was
called up in the middleof the night, to see a
sick woman.
“Well,ray good woman,” said he, “so you
are verv ill, and require the consolations of
religion? What can I do for you?”
“No,’’replied the old lady, “l am not ve
ry ill; I am only nervous, and can’t sleep.”
“How can I help that?” asked the cure.
“Oh, sir, you always put me to sleep so
nicely when I go to church, that I thought
if you would onlv preach a little for me
'—?”
They say that the cure swore; at any rate,
he made “tracks” in less than no time.
Lord North, during a severe sick
ness, said to his physician, “I am obliged to
you for introducing me to some old ac
quaintances.
“Who are they my lord?” inquired the
doctor.
“My ribs” replied his lordship, ’’which. I
have not felt for many years until now.”
They have got a machine for killing bed
bugs, up in Coanecticut. It goes by steam
one wheel catches them by the nose, anoth
er draws their teeth, and a neat piston
rod punch arsenic down their throats.'
Green peas are plentiful at the South
and the editors there delight to torment
their Northern brethren with accounts of
the delicate repasts, they have m ade upon
the luxury. Here, as Patrick Henr y said,
“gentleman may cry peas, peas but there is
no pease- Yankee Blade.