The central Georgian. (Sandersville, Ga.) 1847-1874, October 05, 1852, Image 1
BY S. B. CRAFTOI.
SARDERSVILLE, GEORGIA, TUESDAY, OCTOBER 5, 1852.
VOL. VI-~m IT.
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POETRY.
Tlie Source of Joy.
Joy springs in the heart that is tender and
kind,
Like a fountain that kisses and toys with
the wind;
Whence rills trickle softly to blend with the
ground,
Spreading freshnes and verdure and beauty
around.
O! sftek not for joy in the depth of the bowl,
Nor quench in its poison the fire of the soul;
Each draught leaves a seed that will quick
en and bear
An Upas wither with grief and despair.
No! revelling yields not the bliss we desire.
Though poets have sung in it3 praise to the
lyre;
True happiness flows in a still silent stream,
Not whirling in eddies, as some fondly
dream.
It is found in the peace and comforts of
home,
It is lost to the heart when in exile we roam;
It is glimpsed in the smiles of faces we love,
Like a star beaming forth from its station
above.
But it blesses not those who branded with
guilt
For the victim betrayed, or the blood idly
spilt;.
It flies from the miser, the selfish, the proud,
And eludes their pursuit till they lie in the
shroud.
Be kind to thy neighbor, but stern to thy
self,
Grant free to wretches the aid of thyself;
Press hopefully forward-—the treasure is
thine,
A treasure more precious than lurks in the
mine!
The Sabballi Bell.
BY ELIZA COOK.
Peal on, peal on—I love to hear
The old church ding-dong soft and clear!
The welcome sounds are loudly blest
With future hope and earthly rest;
Yet were no calling changes found
To spread their cheering echoes round,
There’s not a place where man may dwell,
But he can hear a <Sabbath bell.
Go to the woods when winter’s song
Howls like a famished wolf along,
Or when the south winds scarcely turn
The light leaves of the trembling fern-
Although no cloister-chimes ring there,
The heart is called to faith and prayer;
For all Creation’s voices tell
The tidings of the Sabbath bell.
Go to the billows, let them pour
In gentle calm or headlong roar;
Let the vast ocean be thy home,
Thoul’t find a God upon the foam;
In rippling swell or stormy roll,
The crystal waves shall wake thy soul,
And thou shalt feel the hallowed spell
Of the wide water’t Sabbath bell.
The lark upon his skyward way,
The robin on the hedge-way spray,
The bee within the wild thyme’s bloom,
The owl amid the cypress gloom;
All sing, in every varied tone,
A vesper to the great Unknown;
Above—below—one chorus swells
Of God’s unnumbered Sabbath bells.
MISCELLANEO US.-
BEAUTIFUL SKETCH.
I have worshipped blue eyes, and there is
10 radiance so heavenly as that which
;leams from them. But black are more
>ewildering ; and when a shadow of mel-
mcholy falls over the forehead, it softens
heir beauty, while it does not dim them.
* * * If vou will go with me now
o a glen in the Highlands, and a willow
haded nook, I will point out to you the
r ery spot where,'years ago, tnere stood a
ude bench, on which many times I have
een the fair girl I now write of sitting, and
>y which I once saw her kneeling. The
ottage under the hill is occupied by stran
gers, and its broad hall and large rooms
low ring to the laughter of those that know
not her whose gentle spirit haunts their
very chambers.
She was beautiful as a dream. Never
was holier forehead^ shaded by raven^tres-
ses ; never were tresses so glorious as those.
If I tell you that I loved Sarah D
j • -
will call me an enthusiast, and ascribe my
admiration to my passion. I did love her,
but only as a boy worships a being very
far above him. I used to lie at her feet oil
the grass, and gaze into her face, and watch
the play of her exquisite features. It was
there I learned first, how high, and pure,
and worshipful, humanity may be.
She was young and beautiful. What
need to add that she was loved, for such as
she lives on affection, and die for lack of it!
Her father devoted his fortune and his life
to her ; a:id she was heiress to a large es
tate. As might be expected, she had num
berless suitors of every rauk and variety. I
cannot now remember all of them, although
I kept, the run of them tolerably well. But
of all there were only two that appeared to
have any prospect of success ; and the vil
lage gossips were occupied in discussing
their relative diauces.
Frank R was the gayest, best heart
ed fellow in the world, and had you seen
him on his horse by the side of Sarah D—
you would have said that he was made for
her, so wild was his laugh, and so joyous
her response. Yet, had you been behind
rlie closed shutter of the window in front of
the large white house on the hill, as they
tode by, and you there watched the com
pressed lip, the broad, calm forehead, the
pale and the speaking eye of Josoph 8=
over, since then, though the iron has enter
ed my soul and seared and scarred it, yet,
I have never seen, and I do not believe d
have ever felt, more agony than those two
felt, as they parted that night to meet no
more on earth.
He bowed his lips to her forehead* and
murmured the solemn word “forever.” She
woke at this word, and exclaimed with
startling vehemence-—
“No, no, there’s no such word, Jo.”
“We shall not meet again on earth, my
gentle one.”
“And what is earth?” Her tall form
grew more“qneeulv, and her dark eye flash
ed divinely, as she rose and exclaimed in
clear aud silvery tones—And what is earth !
These things must end. I will name a tryst
dear Joe, and you shall keep it. If yon
pass first into the other, land wait for ine on
the bank, and if i do hence before vou, I
will linger on the other shore until you
come. Will you remember ?’
“I will live and die in this memory.”
She lifted her face to his, aud her arms
to his neck, and they clung together in a
long and passionate embrace. Their lips
did not separate, but.‘were pressed close to
gether, until be felt her form cold, and her
clasped relaxed, and he laid her
down on the old seat, bowed over
ment in prayer, and he was gone,
him say, “Take care of her W
An Aimtsiug Siorf<
Hooper, the editor of an Alabama jour
nal whose name we just now forget, but
which has almost always something in it to
make us laugh tells the following capital 1
yarn:
“Shall I tell you a bit ©f a story, having
no connection with polities, this hot, dry
wealher. By permission—
“Old Col. 1) , of the Mobile dis
trict, was one of the most singular charac
ters ever known in Alabama. He was testy
aud eccentric, but possessed many fine qual
ities. whieh were fully appreciated by the
people of the district. Many , of his freaks
are fresh in the memory of the “old uns” of
Mobile—and all of them will tell you that
the Colonel though hard to beat, was terri
bly taken in by a couple of legal tyros. It
is George W oodard, I believe, tells the story,
but however that may be, it is in keeping
with others related of ihe old gentleman.
“It seems that Col. D had a mis
understanding with the two gentlemen al
luded to and was not on speaking terms with
them, altho all of the three were profession
ally riding the circuit pretty much together.
The young ones, being well aware of the
Colonel’s irracible nature, determined, as
gently I they left one of the courts for another, to
a mo-: have some sport at his expense by the way.
1 heard ! They according got about half an hours’s
,”and ; start on the leaving, and presently they ar-
as he saw them passing, you would have
prayed to God that that fair girl might be
long to that noble man, even as I, a boy,
then prayed.
God lias answered my prayers. When
the long way was traveled over, and the
rugged and difficult steed surmounted—
when her fairy foot was pressed on Die rock
at the summit of the hill of life, and her eyes
gazed into the deep blue sky, with a long
ing gaze, there, even there, beyond the blue
bis outstreched arms received her, and his
embrace was heaven !
Go preach to blocks and stones, ye who
believe that love is of the clay ! Go preach
to the dead, ye who deny tlie immortality
of the affections. Go reason with trees 1 or
images of wood, or with your owu motion-
le s, lifeless, icy souls, ye who believe that,
because there is no marrying yonder, there
shall be no embracing, or because we may
not use the gentle words “my wife,” we
may not clasp these sanctified forms into
our own holy arms I tellj you, man, that
immortality would !e a glorious cheat, it
with our clay died all our first affections. I
tell you, that annihilation would be heav
en, if I believed that when my head at
length rests on its coffined pillow" and my
lips sink to the sslence and repose of death
these loving eyes will never look into mine
again, this pure clasp never be around my
neck, this holy caress never bless me more !
But see how I hasten in advance of my
story. And yet, like Canning’s knife grin
der, I remember now that I have no story
to tell, or at best it is a simple story.
She loved Joe. His calm aud earnest
way oflov.ng her, won her whole soul. He
did not say much to her in company, nor
of her ; but when they were alone, or only
some of the children near, his low voice
would be musical, and she sot entranced
with its eloquence. I have seeen them sea
ted on a bench by the side of the stream,
and have heard him lead her gentle soul,
6 tep by step, with him from earth to stars,
and then from star to star, until she seem
ed to be in heaven with hiui* and listening
to the praises of the angels.
I am unable to tell how it happened Jo
seph g j e ft his profession jwhich had
j so 1 strove to recall the life that had gone I rived at a broad dark stream, that looked as
from her lips, and cheeks, and eyes. It if it might be a dozen feet deep, but which,
came slowly, and she awoke as we wake in iu reality, was hardly more than as many
the morning after death has entered our • inches. Crossing it they alighted, pulled
charmed circle, with an oppression on the off' their coats and boots and sat down qui-
brain, and a swimming, swollen^ senseless- | etly to watch for the old “Tartar.”
ness of soul. j “Jogging along, at length came up the
At length she remembered all ; and old, fellow. He looked at first at the young-
raised herself with a half articulated excla-! sters who were gravely drawing on their
illation of agony, broken by a sob; and boots aud coats as if they bad just had a
then fell on her knees by the bench aud swim—and then be looked at the broad
buried her face in her hand, and remained creek that rolled before him like a fluent
thus for nearly an hour. j translucent star. The Colonel was awfully
When she arose, her face was as the puzzied.
face of an angel. It wore that same exal- j “is this creek swimming?” he growled af-
ted look until she died. ; ter a pause of some moments.
1 think she took cold that night; she j “No reply was made—the young men
was never well aftewards, and the next j simply mounted their horses rode off some
winter she passed at the South, returning I little distance and stopped to v*a'ch our
in the spring very fragile, but very beauti- : hero.
f u ]. ” j “The Col. slowly divested himself of boots,
Joseph S was sent abroad by one coat, pantaloons and drawers. These he
of the Board of Missions of the Church, but neatly tied up in his hankerehief and hung
his health failed, and he resigned his com- j them on the horn of the saddle, then he re
mission, while he traveled through the Eas-; mourned, and as he was a fat, short man,
tern world. I with paunch of inordinate size, rather inad-
Three years fled with their usual swift-j equate legs, a face like a withered apple, and
ness. To Sarah D , they were very ! a brown wig, there is no doubt he made an
been the law,) and entered . the ministry ;
nor am I able to state, though I might
o-uess at the cause operating in his own
mind. The father of Sarah D- was not
a religious mau, and I am sorry to say, was
one of the small cl ass of men who not only
deny the truths of our most holy creed, but
took every opportunity to cast ridicule on
its teachers. It was, therefore, with great
pain that his daughter observed his cold-
and rudeness to Joseph S , and
slow and painful years, yet she was happy | interesting picture as he bestrode his steed,
in her quiet way, and no one dreamed of I with the breeze holding gentle dalliance”
the strange tryst she was longing to keep j with the extremities of his only garment,
on the other side of the dark river which i “Slowly and cautiously did the old gen-
men so shrink from. She grew feeble daily ; tleman and his horse take the creek. Half
as the summer and autumn advanced, and a length—and the water was not fetlock
in December she was evidently dying. ! deep. Here the horse stopped to drink. A
One day her mother had beeu out of the length—a half—and the stream no deeper!
house, perhaps making calls ; she returned | Thirty feet farther, and a decided shoaling!
... n reined up. “There
—of a swift deep
the bank. See
at evening, atul among other incidents of
news which she had learned, she mention
ed to Sarah the death of her old friend Jo
seph S
The fair girl was reclining in a large arm
chair, looking out through the closed win
dow, at the snow on the ground, and the
pure moonlight which silvered it. There
was no startling emotion visible as her
“Here Colonel D-
must,” said he, “be a h—
channel between this and
how tlie water runs. We will dash through.”
“A sharp lash made the horse spring the
watery waste and another carried the horse
and rider safely to the opposite bank. The
creek was nowhere more than a foot deep.
“A wild yell from the young ’uns an-
mother mentioned the tact, which to her j nounced their approbation of the sport as
was the most solemn yet most joyful news ' they galloped away.
the world could give; for now, how much “FU catch you, you rascals,” was
nearer was their meeting! I saw a smile flash 1 ground between Colonel D ’s teeth;
news reached | aud away be galloped in hot- pursuit, mut-
across her face as the joyful
her ear. I saw her forehead raised to re
ceive the caress which I knew she felt. She
was silent for many minutes, and then
was not surprised however much she was
grieved, when an open rupture rendered
the suspension of his visits at the house ab
solutely necessary.
They had never spoken of love. Each
knew the secret of the other s atiection, aud
what need of words to tell it/ It would
have been but a repetition ot hackneyed
phrases. * And yet there is no music in the
world so sweet as those three words, “I love
you,” from the lips we love to kiss. But
the father of our gentle friend had feared
the existence of some bond between them,
and peremptorily required his daughter to
break it if it did exist. .
She replied to him, relating the simple
truth, and he desired her to refuse thence
forward to see or to speak to Joseph.
A month of deeper pain than can well be
imagined, succeded this command, during
which they did not meet.
It was on a moonlight night in August
spoke in feeble, yet very musical accents,
and I boyishly wept aloud. Then she smil
ed, and looked at me with finger upraised
and said :
“Wait a little while longer, Dear W—.’
And then, after a moment, shesaid ‘Moth
er, i s the snow very deep ?”
“Not very dear ; why do you ask ?”
“Because, if it were deep, 1 thought it
wouid be difficult for old Mr. Smith to fiud
our lot in the grave-yard. Are all the head
stones covered, mother ?”
“What is the matter, Sarah ? What if
the are covered ?”
“Mother, dear, it is useless to conceal it
| from ourselves, or from one another. You
know% and I quite as well, that I am dying.
I have not wished to live, only for one thing
I did not for life, and I dreaded to meet
death alone ! But now I shall not. W
that she walked out with me, (then a boy
three years her junior,) and sat on the;;
bench by the side of the stream. I he air
was elvar, the sky serene, and no sound
disturbed, but the soft voice of tne wind a-
rnong the tree tops made a pleasant music, ,
and we listened and were silent The still-.
ness was broken by the voice of Joseph b.— j
You will pardon me if I pass ovei that
scene. I dare not attempt a description of,
it. It was my first lesson m human suffer ,1
in*, and though Ihaive learned it over and
will tell you what I mean when I am gone.
Yes, gone dear mother; 1 shall not be here
any longer. This chair will stand here,
aud father aud you will rise and walk about
and visit, and go in and out, and sleep and
wake again, and so on, day after day, and
I shall have no part any longer in your
cares and joys, dear mother.”—And as she
uttered the last two words, she put her
arms aronnd her mother’s neck, and kissed
her fondly, and sank back into her chair a-
gain. I sat at her feet watching her match
less features. A smile was flitting| across
them, now there, now gone, yet each time
it appeared, it lingered longer than before,
until it became fixed, and so holy, so very
holy, that I grew bewildered as I gazed,
and a strange tremor passed through my
body.
The breath of peace was fanning her glo
rious brow ! Her head was bowed a very
little forward, and a tress, uscaping from
its bond, fell by thesiee of her pure white
temple, and close to her opened lips. It
hung there motionless 1 No breath dis
turbed its repose! She slept-asAn angel
tering vengeance on bis foes.
“On—on—they sped, pursuer and pur
sued. The youngsters laughed, yelled, and
screamed—the-Colonel damned with mighty
emphasis, while his shirt fluttered and crack
led in the wind like a loose flying jib.
“On—on—and the pursued reached the
farmhouse on the road side. Their passing
startled a flock of geese from a fence corner,
which, as the Colonel dashed up met him
with outspread wings, elongated necks, and
hisses dire. His horse swerved suddenly,
and the Colonel in a moment was upon the
ground, in a most unromantic “heap,” with
his gowu and wig by his side and his bun
dle of clothes scattered around.
“The white headed children of the house
came out first, took a distant view of the
monster—as seemed to them—and then re
turned to report progress. After a little
the father came and the affair being ex
plained, he assisted the Colonel in making
his toilette; the Colonel swearing, and the
countryman laughing all the while.
“Dressed and mounted, our hero started
off with a wofui phiz, and was soon out of
sight.”
Worse and Worse.—Already this week
there have been eight cases of murder, hom
icide, or deadly assault, in this city, by the
knife, the pistol, or brutal violence, and three
of the sufferers are already dead! A gen
tleman was twice fired at in Broadway, yes
terday morning, about four o’clock, and the
bone of his arm was badly shattered. So
much for the teachings of the Tribune and
its infernal clique. Every ruffian now ac
knowledges the supremacy of the “higher
law.”—JN. Y. Daybook.
Father, is there any boys in Con
gress?” “No, my son, why do you ask that
question?” “Because the papers said the
other day, that one of the members kicked
Mr. BrownV Dill out of the House.”
The phrase “don’t hollow till you’re out of
the wood,” is in the refined language of the
day, rendered^Ht is not advisable for rea
mi'zhrsteep/iiaving accomplished Iho ms-laoMble bipeds to ewrttheit *«»' powe»
sion of her<Jod. in. boundless contiguity ofehede.
Mr. Tvrombly’s Mistake.
Mr. Thomas Twomb y had drank but six
glases of brandy and water, when, being n
man of discretion, he returned home at the
seasonable hour of 1, A. M., and went so
berly to bed. Mrs. Twoinbly was too ac
customed to the comings and goings of
said Thomas, to be much disturbed by the
trifling noise he made on retiring; but w hen
she discovered he had his boots on, she re
quested him to remove them, or keep his
feet out of the bed.
“My dear,” said Mr. Twombly, in an ap
ologetic tone, “skuse me. How I came to
forget the boots, 1 can’t conceive, for Fin just
as sober as ever I was in rqy life!”
Mr. Twombly sat on the side of his bed,
and made an effort to pull off his right boot.
The attempt was successful, though it
brought him to tlie floor. On regaining his
feet, Mr. Twombly thought he saw the door
open. As he was sure he shut the door on
coming he was astonished, and, dark as it
was in the room, he couldn’t be mistaken,
he felt certain. Mr. Twornbly staggered
towards the door to close it; when, to his
still greater surprise he saw a figure ap
proach from beyond. Twombly stopped—
the figure stopped. Twombly advanced
again, and the figure did the same. Twom-
blv raised his right hand—the figure raised
its left.
“Who’s there?” roared Twombly, begin
ning to be heightened. The object made
no reply. Twombly raised his boot in a
menacing attitude. The figure defied him
by shaking a similar object.
“By the Lord!” cried Twombly; “I’ll find*'
out who you be, you sneakin’ cuss!” He
hurled the boot full at the head of bis mys
terious object, when—crash! went the big
looking glass, which Twornbly had mista
ken for the dbcfr.
What is Life.—The following beautiful
description, in answer to this question, is
from Rev. Mr. Mountford Eutbanasy.
“The present life is sleeping and waking;
it is ‘Good Night’ on going to bed, and
‘Good Morning’ on getting up; it is to wonder 7
what the day will briDg forth; it is sunshine
and gloominess; it is rain on the window,
as one sits by the fire; it is to walk in the
garden, and see the flowers open, and hear
the birds sing; it is to have the postman
bring letters; it is to have news from East,
West, North and South; it is to read old
books and new books; it is to see pictures
and hear music; it is to have Sundays; it is
to pray with a family morning and evening;
it is to sit in the twilight and meditate; it is
to be well, and sometimes ill; it is to have
business to do, and to do it: it is tQ have
breakfast, and dinner and tea; it is to belong
to a town, and to have neighbors, and to be
one in a circle of acquaintances; it is to have
friends to love one; it is to have sight of dear
ffid faces; and with some men it is to be kiss
eft daily by the same loving lips for fifty
years; and it is to know themselves thought
of many times a day, in many -places, by
children,Jgrand-children, and many friends.’
An Ancient Law Suit.—The fictitious
case of Jarndyee vs. Jamdyee, on which
Dickens has founded the “Bleak House,” is
almost paralleled by the real case of Beck-
ford vs. Jasper, which was begun in the
English Court of Chancery more than a
hundred years ago, and has but recently
beeu settled. The London Observer says
that:
“The original plaintiff was Thomas Beck
ford, executor of one James Pope, a mer
chant in Madeira, and Edward Jasper, also
a merchant, was the orignal defendant. Jas
per owed Pope £10.000, and Pope died in
1743, and in 1748 Beckford, his executor,
filed this bill against Jasper, who died be
fore he could put in an answer. The suit
was revived against Jasper’s executors, aud
in 1753 the cause was heard before Lord
Chancellor Hardwicke, and referred to the
Master to take accounts. In 1764 and 1772,
further proceedings were taken, and £930
in Bank stocky and £555, were lodged to
the credit of the cause, which then slept un
til 1851, when Mr. J. D. Wadham obtained
administration to Pope the original testator,
and revived the bill against Jasper’s repre
sentatives. The fund to the credit of the
cause had, by accumulation of dividends,
houses, &c., amounted to £70,000. Wad
ham had to take out administration to five
intermediate estates, and to pay £778 for
the stamp duties. The case is now wound
up by an order to pay the costs of all par
ties out of the funds in court, and to share
the remainder according to the respective
rights of the claimants.”
Personal Habits of Presidential Candi*
dates.—The N. Y. Mirror has % sprightly
article on the personal habits of Presiden
tial candidate*, and so forth. We quote:
“The Presidents of the United States, with
one or two exceptions have been remarkably
abstemious men from Washington down.
General Harrison drank whiskey and died.
General Taylor eat cucumbers and cherries^
and drank injik, and died. Mr. Fillmore^
who is “temperate in all things,” sticks to
cold water, and ‘keeps cool” through all
weathers—some of his tyiends thinks a lit
tle too cool.
Of the candidate* now before the people,
General Scott is an epicure; General Pierce
a convive; and John P. Jlale, a “hale fellow,”
who likes a good glass of kolpVhiskey punch
before going to bed on a cbkl night. But
does any reasonable man suppose that eith
er of these candidates, if elected, would be
guilty of any deflections from this straight
line of dignified sobriety? Not at all. YVhen
a man becomes President of the United
States, the very dignity of the position, and
the responsibility attached to it, will keep
him perpendicular^;?/- force. There is noth
ing left for him but the honorable discharge
of bis duties. The highest earthly amfl-
tion is gratified; the highest round upon the
political ladder is attained.
General Scott, if elected, will have neith
er time nor taste for excessive indulgence in
pac de frois yras; and Gen. Pierce will plaoe
a double guard at the weakest entrance to
the citadel of his honor Many of the
greatest and best men that have ever lived
have been at times a little boozy with the.ir
boon companions. Even the gods have
been caught nodding with too much nectar,
but we have no fears that any man who can
1 e el.i'ed to the Presidency of the United
States will ever disgrace himself, his posi
tion, or the party who placed him in it, by
habits of inebriety or gross indulgences of
any description.
Working on the Sabbath.—There are a
great many people who progress to keep
the Sabbath, according to the fourth com
mandment, bat who somehow or other al
ways had a multitude of “works of necessi
ty” to be 1 attended to. We have seen a
capital anecdote lately, about a family of
such people, who were pretty severely re
buked by a colored man in their employ.
The family were farmers. Ono Sabbath
morning, the colored man not, as usual, at
breakfast. The son was sent to call him;
but Caesar said they need not wait for him
as he did not wish for an breakfast.
“Why, Caesar,” said the young man, “wo
shall want you as soon as the dew is ofl^ to
help about the hay.”
“No,” said he, “I cannot work any more
on the Sabbath, itfonot right,”
“Is not rightl’ said the other, “it is not
right to take care of wbat Providence ban
given us?”
“O, there is no necessity for it,* said he*
“and ’its wrong to do it.”
“But would yon not pull your oow 6t
sheep out of the pit on th.e Sabbath, Caasarl”
“No, not if I had been trying all the week
to shove them is; 1 would tell them to’ lie-
there.
The Poles in Heq>- York.—A New-Yc*k
letter says:—
The exiles of Poland, to the number of
over sixty, assembled in this city a few eve
nings since, and formed themselves into an
association “for the purpose—as they say in
their published address-—of assisting their
destitute countrymen either already in A-
merica or those who may aflRve; and, furth
er, to unite all patriotic Polish element*
spread over America in such a manner as to
enable us to become, together with similar
corporations in Europe, a pillar of the re
generating and freeing of Poland.”
Suspension—“I have called to collect 8
bill of your father,” said a gentleman to »
youth who was .sitting in-his father’s count
ing-room.
“Well,”said the precocious lad, “father
won’t pay you—he has suspended.”
“Suspended, what do you mean? He
was a rich man yesterday.”
“Well he hung himself last night, not*
withstanding.”
A City Miss newly installed as the
wife of a farmer was one day called upon
by a neighbor of the same profession, who
in the absence of her husbad, asked her for
for the loau of his plough a short time. “I
am sure you would he accommodated,” was
the reply, “if Mr. Stone was only at home—
I do not know, though, where he keeps his
plough, but,” she added, evidently zealous
to serve, “there is the cart in the yard—
couldn’t you plough with that, until Mr.
Stone gets back ?
This is the same lady who, on going into
the cattle-yard, asked, “which one of the
cows is it that gives the butter milk ?”
During the examination of a witness as
the locality of the stairs in the house, the
counsel asked:
“Which way did the stairs run!
The witness, who was a noted wag, re
plied that,
“Oneway they ran ap, hut the Other
way they ran down!”
biaSak i*
■ ■■
-
‘Dobson, you thought the defendant was
slightly inebriated-—what made you think
so sir?’
‘Because he persisted in wearing the knot
of his neck tie under his ear and would
have it that the brick house at the corner
was trying to jump on his -hat.’
The court allowed that Simpson had par
taken of stimulants.
The slang phrase r -I won’t do any think
else,’ is now politely rendered, ‘Under the
most incorapiyehensible conditions of sublu
nary disarrangement, I will not be compell
ed to have recourse to any dissimilar course
of procedure.’
A young urchin being severely repriman
ded by his mother for saying “hell,” remem
bered the chastisement, and on the follow
ing Sabbath when the minister in preaching
used the word, leaped up and exclaimed,
“By jingo! if you had my mother to deal
with, you wouldn’t swear that way without
gitting licked, I know.” '• ••/•:•
_ A man out West, who advertises ft
store to let in the delightful village of ®Plea?-
ant Ridge,” adds to his announcement: “The
late occupant having been suddenly taken
off by the yellow fever, a "
community of many miles a left to ssouHt