Newspaper Page Text
BY S. B.
SMDERSVILLE, GEORGIA, TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 1852.
... ' •
VOL. VI—FO. 41
THE CENTRAL GEORGIAN
IS PUBLISHED
E VER Y TUESDA Y MORNING,
TERMS :
If ffdidstrictly in advance, peryear, .$1 50
If not paid al the. time of subscribing, <j|2 00
These terms will be strictly adhered
TO, WITHOUT RESPECT TO PERSONS, AND ALL
SUBSCRIPTIONS WILL BE REQUIRED TO BE SET
TLED UP EVERY YEAR.
Advertisements not exceeding twel >e lines,
will be inserted at one dollar for the first in
sertion;-fifty cents for each continuance.
Advertisements not having the number of in
sertions specified, *111 bo published until for-
“ita «iWd ,,,d Negroes by Executors,!"* “!*•"* «•*“ ^
Administrators and Guardians, are required by ° ut * W, “ ,emirul
most enormous extent, and of being guilty
of any amount of humbuggery, swindling,
and roguery ; as he is shown to be the vic
tim of all manner of liars, rogues, and swin
dlers. All these points are well illustrated.
We can only give a “brick” from which to
judge the building:
“Good Mr. Bull, you are cheated in many
ways, you too well know; butyou do not
know, at all the extent of the frauds practic
ed upon you; I will say uptlnng just how
about Row you have been gulled by your
own peculiar servants, nor of the cannisters,
jsupposed to be meant,) which you have
been compelled to siuk in the salt sea, with-
iaiv to be advertised in a
days previous to the day o
>lie
lie.
gazette forty
will remind you that the coat you
wear is devil’s dust—your silk handkerchief
is more thap half cotton—your cotton shirt
The sale of Personal Property must be ad- is thickened with flour, to make it appear
vertised in like manner at least ten days.
Notice to Debtors and Creditors of an es
tate c ast be published forty days.
Notice that application will be made to the
Court of ordinary for leave to sell Land and
(that is before you have bought it, and had
it washed,) substantial and strong, The
Cayenne pepper you dose yourself with, tor
the good of your health,is Ted lead and mer-
....,.. - is
Negroes, must be published weekly for two cury. Themilk you fencyyoutake
“ * ' to be hoped in no large quantities—though
Homer savs of milk consumers that they are
months.
Citations for letters of administration must*
be published thirty days—for dismission from
administration, monthly for six months— for dis
mission from Guardianship, forty days.
Rules for foreclosure of Mortgage must be
published monthly forfour months-r-l'oT estab
lishing lost papers,, for the fuU space of three
months—for compelling titles from Executors
or Administrators, where a bond has been giv
en by the deceased, the full space of3 months.
Publications will always be continued ac
cording to these, thelegal requirements, unless
otherwise ordered.
All letters on business must be vosl-paid
1* OK TRY
Xli£ 0£S£R'I'£0 WIFE.
Vain are the watchings; vain the tear
That trickles down in silent sorrow ;
Yet if he come,I fain must wear
A borrowed robe of smiles to-morrow.
I never met him with a brow*
O’ershauowed by a cloud of sadness,
And, though my heart is breaking now,
Still would I welcome him with gladness-
Did he but know amid this gloom,
How loving I have ever bore me,—
But he will learn it when the tomb
Hath elosed its icy portals o’er me.
I mourn for thee, my laughing boy,
Thank God! save thee, I have none other,
Wilt thou e’er feel the sunbri lit joy,
That never shines upon thy mother ?
Were she assured he would relent,
And take thee to a sire’s earressings,
Then would thy mother be content,
To breathe her last in silent blessings.
Up with thy little hand, my child,
And weave a prayer as I shall guide thee,
That death may clasp thee, and the wild,
Heart broken thing, that kneels beside thee.
And then, perhaps, as spirits we
We may rove among the stars at even,
And wander pure and gaitless by
The radiant gem-lit courts ol Heaven.
MISCELLANEO US.
^FKQM THE SAVANNAH GEORGIAN.^
Blackwood, for October.
We are indebted to Colonel-Williams,
a (rent for Blackwood's Magazine for Octo
ber No. Every number of this world-renown
ed publication has one or more articles of
capital excellence*, nor is the issue before
us an exception. The charming story of
"Katie Stewart,” vs continued. Corneille
cnl Ska,/ e pear,” "English Boa ing, Jef
fry, part 11,” "My Novel,” and the "Death
of the Duke of Wellington,” are some of
the other papers which go to make up its
rich table of contents. The article "Are
there not Great Boasters among us 1” tells
John Bull many plain and some startling
truths in relation to his much lauded moral
ity. It commences in this wise:
“It-is-Trite enough to say “How little do
we know ourselvesand because trite, the
chances are it is quite true. We are con-.
tiuuaUy raising a laugh against the Ameri
cans, because they are given to swagger a
little too much, whilst we industriously for-
from what quarter their inheritance
the longest lived, and most just of men, and
your getting so little of the genuine, may
have something to do with a few things not
quite on the side of honesty in your doings,
well, I assert this imaginary milk is a man
ufacture altogether which slanders the cow,
made up of horse brains, collected from
knackers, or at best chalk and lime-water.
You have been laboring under bronchitis:
your physician has ordered you a mustard
plaster—it was a caput mortuum ou vour
chest—it would not rise. . Shop after shop
did you send to; they had all of them, they
insisted upon it, the genuine article; yet it
did not rise. The Durham mustard, like a
certain Durham letter, was a mere sham;
you found it all tumeric, with something
more deleterious. You were obliged to
give up vour tea, it was so scarce to be had -;
you took to coffee, as you thought, butyou
consumed chicory. If you do not look a
little into these things, it will be the worse
for you. You know you begin to feel your
constitution giving way—to be in.quite a
ticklish condition. You may fall sick—
your medicine will be poison; . Ten to one
but you may die for the lack of the remedy,
or for taking it; and should it so happen
that you die, it is very true you will not
have to make a wry face at your underta
ker’s bill. You will lie quietly under the
items, but you will not lie so long ; for the
copper nails in your coffin will be nothing
but tin lacquered with copper solution, to
facilitate your dissolution. * * *
“The English merchant and English
tradesman were once great names. They
write them so now, when there is anything
to be obtained by the. reputation. Every
wall is posted with advertisements, solely
that the sham should draw on attention
from facts. We are so accustomed to hear
a mere boast given out as truth, that, if we
do not actually take the imposture for the
reality, we dismiss Virtue with a laugh;
we never give her a warm support, “lauda-
tur et alget.” We have caught the trick
from our immediate'neighbors, and shrug
the shoulder—admit, if not pay duty, to
the supremacy of humbug. All this are
the very best Christians in the world, too
many of us doing not “not as we would”
be, but as w.e are “done by.” We com
pass heaven and earth to make proselytes
not only to our religion, but to our morals
and opinions, although strange inconsisten
cy^ we have not entirely settled any of
them; nor are we able to give a very co
herent account of ourselves in any of these
particulars. Bullet me not be foolhardy
enough to take upon me to count the num
ber of the sands. Yet I will say, that if our
missionaries think it their business to incul
cate the maxims of British morals—if they
be worth exhorting, they must be taken
from some unknown depository. I will not
subscribe my guinea until I am better in
formed. Hitherto, the fact has been forced
upon thinking people, that both our moral
and religious exports have been a very du
bious character.”
doe 8
Artesian Wells.
To have Artesian wells there are certain
conditions requisite. It is necessary to find
a .pervious .waterbearing strata impervious
to water, such as gravel, between two strata
impervious to water, such as elay; and in
order that the water shall rise to the surface,
the percolation of the water through the
pervious strata must descend from a point
higher than the surface at the point of bo
ring. The strata must dip, in an iuclined
plane, from such a height that the water
will come up to find its level. The distance
more or Less is not material, so the water is
continued between impervious strata at the
place where the-orifice is made.
We liave before us two charts, showing a
geological section of the different strata
through which Artesian wells have been
bored, and exhibiting the principles upon
which the water-bearing strata rise and crop
out on the surface at a distance^ from the
point of boring and far above , the level.
One is a section of the Paris basin. The
order-of the strata are; 1. The tertiary for
mations; 2. Chalk; 3. Green sand aud clav;
4. Oolite and jura limestone. The strata
from which the water is derived are the al
ternating beds of green sand and clay,. and
the chart traces them out to where they rise
to the surface. The other chart is a geo
logical section of the strata in Alabama
where Artesian wells have been sunk, and
get
comes. If an individual may be allowed to
make a national confession with as much
indulgence as every individual is allowed to
, —i j e t me be treat-
[fROM THE SAVANNAH MORNING NEWS.]
Tlie United States aud Cuba.
We observed in one of the New-York pa
pers of the 21st inst., under the caption of
4 ‘Important from Washington,” a letter from
Washington to the Editors, of which the
following k an extract:
“I hear it stated to-day, from such a
source as seems correct, that Mr. John P.
Kennedy, the Secretary of the Navy, has
-ordered Oapt. Porter, of the Crescent City,
to repair to Washington to give an account
to the Government of his recent transac
tions at Havana. The President aud Cabi
net have had the matter under consideration
at the request of Mr. Calderon de la Barca,
and it is - surmised that our Government
bus disapproved the conduetof Capt. Porter,
and will withdraw him from the Creseent
City, and order him to sea immediately.”
We have taken some pains to inform our
selves correctly on this subject, and have
leamedfrom an authentic source that the
letter, in all its material statements, is a tis
sue of misrepresentations.
•It is true that the Secretary of the Navy
has-ordered Lieut. Porter to repair to Wash
ington ; but this was done, not at the re
quest of the Spanish Minister, but from his
own sense of what was proper under the
circumstances of the case. Complaints have
been made from various. quar:ers of the con-
pervious water stratum, prevented from de
scending by an impervious bed of clay, and
from rising to the surface by limestone and
clay. The porous-bed is traced to an ele
vation which would produce a pressure ou
the lower part of the stratum sufficient, if
perforated' there, to force a stream up to the
surface. These are the simple elements of
the Artesian force, and there is no reason to
doubt that water can be found in almost ev
ery place if the bore camdesend deep enough,
although iu many places the depth required
is enormous The scientific geologists is the
best judge from the circumstances of ..any , . j
particular iocation whether it is likely to.re^^Vl, ;
.Inhibit the same Mb*
the “Cresceut City,” and it was therefore
deemed advisable to ascertain from Lieut.
Porter in person what were the facts of the
affair. When they shall have been made
known to the Government^ will have the
means of deciding what course it will be
proper to pursue.-—National Intelligencer
of Saturday’
It affords uspleasure to publish the above
contradiction ofthe telegraphic rumor which
was made the subject of our comments on
yesterday. “ We were reluctant to believe
that the administration could be so forgetful
particular
quire a greater or less depth, to reach the
water strata, but even the best opinions are,
as to some places, extremely uncertain.
Of the results of experiments made in
Alabama there have been some details pub
lished; and we believe Professor Tuomey, of
the University at Tuscaloosa, has published
a careful report upon the subject, but it is
not within our reach. We have been ena
bled, however, from other sources, to give
the following details:
The Dallas (Ala.) Gazette savs that the
first Artesian well of Mr. J. E. MatheWs, in
Cahawba, is completed. It is-735 feet deep,
and sends forth a stream of water- measured
at 1,200 gallons per minute. The famous
French well at Grenoble, it is said, does not
discharge more than half this "quantity*. The
water, says the Gazette, boils up, roaring
like a cataract, forming a branch of consid
erable size, and the low grounds, some two
hundred yards distant, Tequire ditching to.
carry off the immense quantity of water col
lected upon its surface. Mr. Reid, the suc
cessful borer of this well, has commenced
boring another, some sixty feet distant,
which will be some 1,5DO or 2,000 feet deep.
To prevent injury to the first, it is necessa-
is ffuc to the national honor, so re
make his national boasting,
ed leniently if l venture—thus. There is
not a more absurdly boastful people on the
face of the earth than we, the “Great Eng
lish Nation.” We boast of everything be
longing to us, If there be a difference be
tween us and our transatlantic brethren, it
is in this, that as their boasting takes its
character from democratic institutions, out
boasting is characterized by a dash of aris
tocratic delicacy. Theirs is more vulgar,
that is all; but nevertheless, as we are dai
ly progressing towards them in politics, so
J * ° .- ... *i.ot /M,ir national
are we in this respect, that our
lift
manner of our
swaggering is decidedly improving m vul-
°° -5.' 1. i.L» niaftYkViiiV AT'
garity. That regards the
boasting. The matter of it is to be found
everywhere, and iu everything. We boas^
of everything that belongs to us, and o
some few that do not belong to us; tor
swatering Pride is twin-brother to False
hood." We boast of a prosperity from whieh
millions are running away; of a Representa
tive system, which represents not much or
the sense, but a very large proportion of
the nonsense of the people; of npubltc mor
ality, at which every man individually
laughs, in his sleeve—to which so many
elections are giving the lie, by a total disre
gard to the morals of-their parliamentary
candidates.”
Examination in Anatomy—“How
man differ from the brute creation ?”
“He stands upright, but he doesn’t act so.
He walks on two legs, contrary to the Bible,
for it says, “Upon thy belly sbalt thou go
all the days of thy life.”
“Where is the carotid artery situated ?
“It commences both skies of the neck at
the shirt-collar, passes up under the hat-
brim to the top of the head, then down the
insensate canal, and terminates in both
boots.” . .
“How long ought a person to remain m
a warm bath ?”
“Till he finds his toe nails floating on the
surface of the water.”
“Next class in Materia Medica!”
gardless Ofthe almost unanimous sentiment
of our people, as to adopt" measures which
could not be regarded in any other light
than as a most humiliating submission to
Spanish insolence.
However m uch the present administration
is committed against the revolutionary
movement against Cuban authority, in
which it must be adfnkted that a portion of
our citizens have been involved, no views
which it might entertain of the past or pre
sent movement against the Spanish author
ity in that Island, would justify it in an ut
ter abandonment of the treaty rights of-our
people and the honor of- our flag. In the
present aspect ofthe cate, with all the infor
mation we have in relation to the matter,
the exclusion of the Crescent City, while in
the service of the U. S. Government, can be
viewed only as a most flagrant violation of
the comity of nations and an insolent affront
to our people. We are not prepared to say
Kow far the act of the Spanisi^authorities is
warranted hy the recognized customs and
police regulations of. the port of Havana.
It may be that in a despotism so absolute a
wide latitude is given to the operations of
these regulations. Nevertheless _ we hold
that a treaty to which this nation is a party
The Supply of Cotton.
“A Liverpool Merchant has the follow
ing remarks in the London Times :
Your leading article on the increase of
the manufacturing power now in progress
in Lancashire and our neighbourhood, has
The Mexican Boundary—Irnpor-
rom the President.
ry to make the second one much deeper, so shoul( j perm it no such arbitrary restrictions
as t.n rpAfili a different stratum ot water.— „ 1 • -ii i:» «... if u. l
Do You Take Anything i?—“Jim, do you
ever take anything ?” inquired “our Dan’l”
of his cousin James from the country.
“Yes, certainly—ahena,” said the coun
try cousin, smacking his lips in anticipation
of an aristocratic brandy-smasher. Of
course I-a-a-take something occasionally, a-
yes, certainly.” . ' ,,
“Well, I only inquired for information,
exclaimed Dan’l, -‘’cause I. notice that the
police had their eye on you, and if you
have taken anything that did nt belong to
vou you had better give it up as soon as
f V, i> a !”
as to reach a - different stratum
The first well is tubed, as the second will be
Mr. Reid is also boring a well for Dr. Eng
lish, two hundred yards distant from Mr.
Mathews’. It is now 530 feet deep, and
discharges 200 gallons of water per min
ute. A correspondent of the Gazette gives
the following in relation to the first well of.
Mr. Mathews, which was bored for the pur
pose of obtaining sufficient water to supply
a steam cotton mill.
First, a well was dug in the ordinary wav,
32 feet through the red clay sand and grav
el lying upon the rotten limestone. A large
pine log was then procured, and a hole 3 1-4
inches in diameter bored through it. After
sharpening the end and putting an iron
band around it, the log was put down and
firmly driven and forced into the rock. The
well was then filled up, the upper end of the
log appearing about a foot above the sur
face. The boring then commenced, and
with the various tools and eontrivances of
the art, the earth was rapidly penetrated.
As each lower sheet of water was reached by
the tools, the water was thrown up by the
whole in great qantities and .with more vio
lence.- When the first water, that is, the
water just below the first sand stone, was
reached; the upward flow of water did not
exceed seven gallons per minute. It was
increased to one hundred gallons per min
ute, when the second sand, stone was per
forated, and on reaebiug the third sheet of
water upwards of 300 gallons per minute
rushed up through the orifice -seemingly
impatient of its limits. Thinking that the
quantity of water would be increased by
enlarging the hole, they rimmed out 9 1-4
inches in diameter and 538 feet deep to the
sand stone lying above this third bed of wa
ter, andiuserted a tube-frona the firsthand
resting upon the third sand> stone. They
were not disappointed; the water from a
small stream became a largo column, rush
ing upwards with violence at the rate of
1,300 gallons per minute, and running off
in a considerable rivulet.—-N.
possible, or you will be jng L
■ - -■ ‘ 1U5 '‘ innocence of all in-
James protested his"
ten tions of larcency, buV ; nptJnng more was
said about “taking anything
of our commercial liberty. If Mr. Smith is
dangerous to the peace of the island, if his
republican sympathies are likely to breed a
political pestilence among the “ever faithful,’
contented and happy subjects of the Spanish
crown, they haye. the right on good and
sufficient grounds .to arrest him and make
him amenable to their laws whenever he
places his foot within their jurisdiction.—
This they would have a right to do; but a
government that gave just and full protec
tion to its citizens would require ample proof
of his guilt or fearful reparation for his
wrong. There, might be circumstances to
justify them in such a proceeding. But we
have yet to be convinced that any nation
has a right to establish a political quarantine
and to exclude our ships from their ports
because a few decided cases of republican
ism a>-e known to be on board. It may be
urged that Mr. Smith had rendered himself
obnoxious to the Cuban authorities. Grant
that he had. Still this fact did not justify
nor render neccessary the exclusion of the
Crescent City. Mr. Smith could have been
taken care of without such' exclusion, which
was adopted in a spirit of insolent defiance.
We say, therefore, that the insult to our
flag should be viewed-as entirely disconnec
ted with Mr. Smith or any ofthe alleged an
noyances and provocations experienced by
the Spanish authorities; It was a wanton
and unjustifiable outrage, which no high
toned and sensiti ve government would tol
erate, and which-our own government can
not submit to and preserve its honor and
dignity.
We arG-pleased to learn that the matter
k under consideration, and that the national
rights and honor will be vindicated. We
look for temperate, but firm and decided
measures.
been perused by the commercial communi
ty of this town with all the cafe and .a’ten
tion which your remarks always merit.
While you successfully rebut the opin
ions which suggest themselves, as to an in
adequate supply of labour, you have not,
however, alluded to this question which
naturally arises on a leview of the subject;
What are the prospects of a supply of the
raw material to meet this rapidly increas
ing consuming power ? You are. well a-
ware that the American Cotton season of
1.851-52 has just closed, the total growth
being 3,000,000 bales, and that such a
crop is without precedent in the history of
the cotton trade, being about 600,000 bales
in excess ofthe previous season. The cau
ses which have assisted to produce such a
crop are well known to those acquainted
with the cotton growth ; they are chiefly
to be attributed to an almost uninterrupted
season of fine weather, and the ability to
pick cotton up to a longer period than ever
known as the result. •
It might be assumed that such a supply
would at least leave us in the Liverpool
market a stock in excess of the correspon
ding period of 1851, but such has been the
enormous consumption of 1852 that, allow
ing for some ; probable excess of raw cotton
in the hands of manufacturers, our total
stock this day is below that of the same
date of Fgst year.
Looking at the gigantic interests involv
ed, the importance of an adequate supply
and the welfare of tlie masses dependant on
the cotton manufacture, we may well look
with deep anxiety to every report which ar
rives from America as to the position and
prospects of the growing crop, nt a mo
ment, too, when the critical stage of the
plant lenders it so susceptible of injury
from jfains or any contingencies of fjposts or
wormsiv '
In tracing the, cause of our rapidly di
minishing stocks both of cotton aqd manu
factured goods, we can only arrive at one
conclusion, “the cheap loaf has done it all,”
for it is clear that to the increased ability of
the laboring and industrial classes to pur
chase better clothing, and more of it, and
not to any large increase ol exports, must
be attributed the facts. I have mentioned.
Well might it be it be for the prosperity of
our great inauufrcture could we anticipate
another growth of three millions of bales in
America this season; few, however san
guine, now expects such a yield. When
prices are forced up by, the expectations of
short supplies much k said about fostering
the growth of cotton in Africa, Australia
and India; the subject was never more mo
mentous that at this hour.- W hat has' been
done in carrying out these theories, with a
view of rendering us as a nation more inde
pendent in some small degree of the Amer
ican planters 1
The signs of the times foreshadow the
growing importance of this subject, and my
object will have been accomplished should
you allow the question to be brought home
in quarters from which some practical re
sults may be anticipated.
Ium4 iUrtsagc ftrom
Washington, Oct, 16.
The National JnteUiyencer^ot this morn
ing, contains a long official document from *
the Secretary ofthe Interior, showing that
the'act making provisions for the survey ot
the Mexican Boundary contains a clause,
rendering it inoperative. : f
. The clause referred to says nopart of the
one hundred and twenty thousand -dollars
appropriated by Gougeess, can be expended
until it can be made to appeal- satisfactory
to the President that the Southern bounda-.
ry of New mexico is net established by a
Commissioner and Surveyor of the United .
States further north of the town called Pas-
so, and that the same is laid down iu-Dk- '
turnell’s map, which k added to the treaty..
President Fillmore has issued a message
saying, that after a careful perusal of Sec .
retary Stewart’s report, and after an anx
ious consideration ol the question involved,
he is constrained .to concur in the result.—-, ,
Consequently no part of the appropriation
for defraying the expenses of the Mexican
Boundary Commission, can be drawn from
the Treasury.
A very fat man having taken a seat
in an omnibus already crowded, to the great
annoyance of the passengers, several with
partial breathing and muttering lips inquir
ed who such a lump of flese could be as the
new comer. “Egad, I don’t know,” respond
ed a wag, *‘bnt judging from the efiect h?
produces, I should suppose him a mem bey
of the press.”
The Hon. T. B. King.—The news mak-
ers commonly give in these, days a dozen
more versions of the same fact. _
That the resignation of Mr. King as Col
lector of Saa Francisco has been sent in, we
suppose a fact—one authority gke6 as a
reason, that a'difference of opinion had
arisen between him and the Government
relative to the amount of duties which
ought legally to be imposed on imported
goods arriving at San branckco, and that
■ * - — collector of the port, jhadf
his decisions as l-t
given offence to the French and British Im
porters, but particularly the former, and did
uot meet the approbation of onr own gov
ernment. „
The editors of the New York Expressrc,-
fer to the following paragraph as contain
ing -all the information at present known on
the subject. It is from their Washington ?
correspondent. He says i -
“I made inquiry in the right quarter*®?
lative to another assertion which I see in ~.
several New York papers, that T. Butlejf
King has been dismissed as Collector Of ban
Francisco, in consequence of soriou* charges
against him involving the misapplication of
the public money, and find there k no trra.th
i Q the report. Mr. King has for some thno
been desirous of returning home, and Inn- =
derstand some months smoe tendered bis
resignation, which will probably be, if it k
not already accepted, though it is to ><? pre
sumed he will remain until a successor may
be appointed and ready to relieve mm,
Beverly C. Sanders, Fsq„ formerly of Bap
timore, it is said, has been appointed coL
lector of the port of San Francisco, vice the
Hon. T. Butler King, r<r : ~" J
0. PiC,r
Six inches of suowuwdsaid te>baye foilen
Buixir'accas&d to his face of lying, to a at Nashua, N, H., cm Friday morning.
“How,” said Lord AY, to > Mend,
who wished to convey a. matter of impor*
tance to a lady, without communicating
directly with her,—“how can you. be cer
tain of her reading the letter, seeing that
you have directed it to her busban ndl
“That I have managed without the possi- ^
bility of failure,- was the. anaWer. “She^ ^ for a nutmeg grater;,
opeii it to a certainty; for I have put pn- :. S 'V
rate' in a corhfri” ~
Examination of Attorneys.—The follow
ing racy examination of a candidate for ad
mission to the bar, is taken from a Western
Law Journal, and is decidedly a good hit :
The examiner commences with—
“Do yon smoke, sir 3
“I do, sir.”
“Have you a spare cigar 3”
“Yes, sii,” (extending a short six.)
“Now sir, what is the first duty of a law
yer 3”
“To collect fees.”
“Right. What is the second 3”
“To increase the number of his clients.”
“When does your position towards your
client change 3”
“When making a bill of costs!”
“Explain.”
“We then occupy the antagonktic posi-
tion—I assume the character of plaintiff,
and he becomes defendant.”
“A suit decided, how do you stand with
the lawyer conducting the other side 3”
“Cheek by jowl.”.
“Enough, sir; you promise to become an
ornament to your profession, and I wish
you success. Now, are you aware of the
duty you owe me I”
“Describe it.”
“It is to invite you to drink.” . ..
“But suppose 1 .decline.”
(Candidate scratching his head)—“There
k no instance of the kind on record in the
books. I cannot answer the question.”
“You are right; and theeonfidence with
which you make an assertion. shows that
you have read the law attentively. Let’s
take the drink, and I will sign your certifi
cate.
Handsome Men.—-If you. are ever threat
ened with a handsome man in the family,
just take a clothes-pounder,’while he is yet
in the bud, and batter his head to pummice.
From some cause or other, handsome men
are invariably fook; they cultivate their
complexion so mueb, that they have no time
to think of their brains. By the time they
reach thirty, their heads and hand are equab
ly soft. Again, we say, if you wkh to find
an intelligent man, just look for one with
features so rough that y ou might use hk
Horrible Murder. 1 —The Augusta Con
stitutionalist of the 17 th says
“We undierstand that on Saturday Might
last a horrid murder was committed in
Warrenton. A man by the name of Hen
ry H. Pool, was discovered on Sunday
morning, in the last agonies of death. His
head bore the marks of two severe blows,
thought to have been inflicted with a flat
piece of iron or an axe. Suspicion rested
on a negro named- Green, the -property of
W. H.Blouiit, who was arrested, aud after
undergoing a long examination, was com
mitted to jail'in *Warrenton, to await his tri
al at the next term of the Superior Court.
Did. nt tike the Meat.—Yat FlannorJ, k
not only an efficient police officer; but some-f
thing of a wag. Fond of a good joke, he
never misses the opportunity of playing one.
A few evenings ainc% he was sitting on the
Uncle Sam comer, fronting the levee, when
a “long lank,” Wabash deck hand passed
him, holding in one hand an “acre” of gin
gerbread, and in .the other a huge Bologna
sausage.: At almost every step he would
satisfy the cravings of hk stomach, with a
bite from each of the aforesaid, articles. Pat
no sooner 6aw him than he determined on
a joke.
As the Hoosier passed Pat, a. rat ran.
across the sidewalk, at which he wickedly
made a kick.
“Leave that rat alone,” yelled Pat, as if
angry. ■ .
“Leave that, rat alone 3” repeated the
Hoosier, looking at Pat, with mouth full of
Bologna ; “what do you .want a feller to
leave that rat alone fur 3”
“Because it belongs to me, and I will not-
have it abused.” . .
“Belongs to you I What on airtn dQ
you do with rats !” ^
“Make Bologna sausages of them sir ;
acd right nice ones they make, too.” .
The Hoosier waited to bear no more, but
empting Iris mouth of its contents, and.
flinging hk Bologna as far as the strength
of hk arm could send it, hastened to the
nearest groggery for a three cent drain, to,
as he expressed it, “take the darned rutty
taste out.”
Connubial Affection—The day after Ihe
loss of the Atlantic, an individual at De
troit, whose wife was on board, and si
posed to have been drowned, exhibited ye
* 1*. mnniTnal nf lAtlQ
extraordinary manifestations of grief sor
iVia trarDrise of hk neisbl
what to the surprise of hk neighbors, who;
never suspected him of being a fond,hus
band. While he was thus boisterously be
wailing his loss, a boy mrived in baste from
the telegraph office. A wag stopped the
lad.-
“Isn’tlfisYl
ter
“Yes.”
saved.”
“Ah,” said the
here t” said
;
illfjir I itijattif(Anaitlif ft iTt lli nUrti’ii rVuvriiiln ■n-.adiiitfe'i ••