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the CENTRAL GEORGIAN PUBLISHED WEEKLY 11 v j(>riN N« GILMORE, Proprietor. qFFICK in masonic building SandkrsvillEj Ga. subscription Rates, P/inT « nc I car ’ ------ °rnuv Six Months, - - - - - Ouet-opj ^ paid j n Advance. $3 00 2 00 • AVlicn a subscriber finds a, cross mark on his -*1 , will know that his subscription has expired ?»F r (0 expire, and must be renewed if he wish- (r ‘ .,,ier continued. o „ 0 t send receipts to new subscribers.— ,? . ,,,...ive the paper they may know that wo ^'"received the money. Subscribers wishing their papers changed ~' ,J ‘ .,„it-ofliee to another must state the name fro" 1 1 .,- |( . u f r om which they wish it changed. .ftiiel 1 BUSINESS € Alt IN POLITICS, CONSEX VATIVE; IN RELIGION, CATHOLIC ; IN MATERIAL INTERESTS, PROGRESSIVE- jSTo. 28 SANDEESVILLE, GA., JULY SO, 1870. VOL. XXIV. cn - to co fed co o» <3 > S3 a ZD A © o r 4 •8 pp A i a S' B o a s? E O P f 9 © s Sr 1 ? - 1 $1.00 48 4;od $2.50 4.00 5.0*1 $3.26 5.06 7.00 $5.0p 9.00 12.00 $7.20 $12:00 18.00 . 28.00 $20. It 2 3 t.7a 3.00 12.00 1G.00 -40.-00 4 ,5 3.50 ,4.00 5.50 .7.00 7.50 9.00 9.00 12.00 15.00 20.00 25.00 28.00 !« 12 24 10.00 20.00 15.00 30.00 20.00 40.00 25.00 50.00 45.90 70.00 6o!qO 80.00 80.03 120.00 12P.0P jop.og Georgia J. C. GAIXA11ER, Attorney at La-w, San<lersville Apr'I 13, 1870. 11—tf H S S’. GILMOliE, H. D. P. TWIGGS. GILMORE & TWIGGS. Till - ' undersigned having associated t ho in solve? . ,„»her iA the practice «-f the Law, will attend the t’L-uit. ,v.,il the OOUMtlCDOl ; N ; Tk'm= ,,n * Laurens and Glasscock. )•. L. WARTHEN •Attorney ttt £«tr; SANDERSVILLE, GA. si.isto 5 -»y LAXIrMALL & EVANS attorneys at law, SANPFKSVILLE, GA. attend the Courts of Washington, Wil .’ ‘ Emanuel, Jefferson. Johnson, lianeockam l" 1 '--iis counties. Office on the Public Square op Setho Court House. AK ll S. I.XNGMADEj j Jan. 3, 18*0. [bkveult i>. kvass, 1-ly MU-0 G. HATCH, 9* A-ttornejr at Ldaa t SamkmilU', Ga. Office in Court House Office In A next door to Post Jan. 1 11KN11Y D. CAPERS, Attorney at Law, SAVANNAH, ga. Office: GJ I)ration S'ireet. Mav 4.1870. tf JMMV.IL WHITAKER, DBIsTTIST, SANDERSVILLE, GA. Terms POSITIVELY Cash. B U S I N E S S CARDS. i BUSINESS CARD S. s. K. BOTH WELL. TV. R. WOODBRIDGE, ROTH WELL & WOODBRIDGE COTTON FACTCSs, AND General Commission MERCHANTS, 7-i BAY STREET, SAVANNAH, -■tug. 19, 1809. GEORGIA. iy ALFRED II. COI.gi lT, JAMES DAGCS, III OH It. COLQUITT Baker County, New nan, («a. .Savannah, Ca. COLQUITT & BAGG’S, COTTON FACTORS AND General Commission Merchants Bay Street, Savannah, Georgia. Special attention to the sale of Cotton, Lumber and Timber. Liberal advances on Consignments. June 9, ib70. 25—ly CARPETS, OIL CLOTHS MATTINGS, LACK CURTAIN AND SHADES- Il'Oli. Hone JLoui Promptly Rates, nl July 28, In0 ■>A — 1V r.HSLl'.Y, JR. mSLEY & MORRIS, General Dealers in IKRCIIAiYMS'E, S W A I N s B 6 R O, LATHRQP fr €0. Feb. 23, 1870. G A., of POODS given in e v change joe nil kind r* Country Produce. Liberal advances made on Cotton and IV ool iousigned to them fox shipment. June 8, 1870. ' tf MARI) M JHITIf, Manufacturer and Dealer in TilsT WARE, SANDERSVILLE, GEORG I A. JOHN M. COUfliR & c Corner \V hitnkcr ce St..) ulion Streets,savannah 1.1 le dial Itetml Deaims i?i boohs & si vnpa?t\ all kinds, COF\lNG iltSEAl. 1‘KEa‘SES, FEN knives, News & Book Printing Paper & ink, GOLD FENS, FEN AND FEJJOIL CASES. I.edffer Of all Playing, Visiting & Printers' Cards, &c- Jijnkx Ordered'or />,,tZried,at Jut? Y»rk IDl'i .jolni M.Cooper. Ceorge T. Quantock. Alex. C. X. Smett'. ' J. n, 25, 1S7U. G.m r, Writing & Colored Papers kind* and sice■* foe IJ’uijcand -Jub Work, New Music. ng C.Q ots. i l.L kinds of work \ litr. Ac., dotieuAsli Vullnving i:; town u fcdto. Mere!.:; up lal Aiafliv ( IV Filers W’4 137' i Tin, ftopper. Sheet Iron, >rt notice. Ki.oiing.Gulter- • eountry, promptly utten- uiUiie supplied willi Ware of tiic ii the most reasonable terms. fe.J. Dunbar. Henry A. StulU J. DUNBAR & CQ., Importers and Dealers in fMV.NUHiS, WHISKIES, WINES SEG.VRS, TOBACCO, Ac. 147 Bay St beet, SAVANNAH, GEORGIA, W, 1870. 2-tf I L. FALK & Co,, —ONE FK1CE— Wholesale ami Rclgil; lothing Warehouse, No. 147 Congress »feli7 St. Julien Streets, SUWANNAII, GA. large Assortment of Furnishing Goods, Hats, Trunks, Valises, &c., always on band. l*»uf;ietory, 4-4 JUuriy Street,'New York, "■ods made to order at the shortest notice, •unary 19, 1370. 8—ly t & DEi’PISH, Wholesale and Refill DEA.L^R-S: I|N adware, Rubber Belling* Agri-. cultural Implements, ^°Wder, Shot, Caps and Lead, Congress and Q7 St. Julian St?., , XxANNAII, GEORGIA. ^ si). 1870. " ly On the Bea.-h of Long Branch, (-oirtic The (iay young Clerk in the Dry-Gooil Mon*, Comic song, 40 r<l wiir Broyidn, sacred song, 50 • >! LVine back tome, iliysti Htcd Title The 1 Man 40 ets, A heart that beats only for thee, illustrated Title song 40 ets. Katy McEcrrnn, i jMstmtcd Title song, 4.0 ets. You’ve been a iricnd to me, iriuslnited Title song, Tassels on the Boot.*, col Uj> in a Ha boon, l . U ! let me kiss the Baby, Music som o-y maiI, }»< the }trice unii^cd. 40 ets. 50 ets. 5o ets. paid, on receipt ol HERMANN Beak and SAVANNAH, March 3", 1370. L. SCHREINER, Music Dealer, # - GEORGIA. 32-ly ^oli3,1, Oliver, and Glazier, II W hitaker Street, Savannah, Ga] Dealer in iNies, Doors, Blinds, ^Hidings, Paints, S GLASS, PUTTY, fisr . fluc ' Glaziers’ Material. Mixed A s< ., .' oi R h Colors and Shades. ly JUilNILUiD liliOS. & CO,, W liiiles^ie Dealers in Boots,Shoes,flats, Ready Made CIp,thing, GENTLEMAN'S FUIiNGIiiKG GOODS, > kl, Broughton.Street,,■ •SAVANNAK, GEORGIA- H. MeINIIARO, \ OFFr.CE, S. M MSHABn’j \ 8 1 «R 82 W I'''*® St. E. A. VVfcLL. J NEW lijon^. ,/an. 19, 187f. 3 tf Dayaiit, Wapjics & Co. FACTORS, —AND— Commission Jflerehmils., savannah, PULASKI MOUSE, SAVANNAH, - - - - GEORGIA. Wiltberger & Carroll, PROPRIETORS. Jan. 19. 1870. 3-1 y Gko. F.J’ai.mks, W. (J. JjYon, of Savannah,Ga. ofSuvaimuh,G; Kstahlislicd 1S50. 1). J. Botiiwki.l, .. of 1 >ooly Co.,G:i. Special. PALMES & LYON Wholesale G rocers AND COMMISSION MERCHANTS, V. B. Corner Bag and Barnard Streets, SAVANNAH, Ga, All". 25, 1S«9. 34—tf E. M. Coken, Jr., Mnnufticluier of Saddles, Harness and Trunks, And Wholesale and Retail Dealer in all kimla of SADDLERY WARE, Corner of Whitaker and Bryan Streets, SAVANNAH, GA, Orders for Rubber Rolling, Hose and packing: also. Stretched Leather Relting, Filled Promptly. March 23, 1870. ly s. G. IIAYi\KS¥ ]]RO. g:uat>s aKp (f onunisMon ^frcjjiiiils, BAY STREET, Alexander & Rnsscll Wholesale HR OXERS. Cor. Abercarn and Bryan Sts., Savannah, Gra. XX’m. E. Alexander. May 11, 1870- XX’m. A. Russell. J A. MERCIKU, DEALER IN Corn, Oats, Ray, Bran, And all Kinds of FEED, GRIST, anil MEAK, CONRIGNMENTS SOLICITED And Orders Promptly tilled ip yvery channel of Trade. 153 Bay Street, Ono door east of Holcombe, IfuD Cp., SAVANNAH, - - GEORGIA. All Orders will receive Froir.pt Attention. May II, 1870. lS-Iy E. 9. Smv j lie & Co., Importers mid Wh | dcs;dc Dealers in Crockery, China and Glassware, and Agents lor Die following Celebrated SELF-SEALING FRUIT JARS, SAVANNAH, GEORGIA. ./an. 19, 1870. Wm. XX Ii. Millais Importer and Dealer in Railroad and Steamboat Supplies, PAINTS OILS and GLASS, f'Vsrnisliesi Stores, Lard, Whale, anil Sperm Oils, Burning Oils, lit cans anil Bairds, Waste, Packing, ZBZEUL^XISrGk S50- 102 BRYAN STREET, SAVANNAH, GA. 2o f 1S70. M. FERST & CO., J VFfOL ESA IE D EA L ERS IN Wines, Liquors, Segars and FANCY GROCERIES, CANDIES, Ac,, &c., Removed to corner BAY and WH1TAKJR STREETS SAVANNAH, GEORGIA. House in New Yoik, 449 Broadway. April 6,’1870. tv in l’ints, Quarts, Y Gallons and Gallons, in quantities fyuji .1 Gross to lyy Gross. Send for Buyii-dilvt i'ii I’reserying Fruits and our priei-4. Liberal I 'isramut. tu the Trade. E. D. SMYT1IE & CO.. 142 Cougryss & 141 St. .1 alien St., Savannah, Ga. June 1, JS70. tf 3Poetry* I’M GltOXVING OLD. My days pass pleasantly away, My nights are blessed with sweetest sleep, I feel no symptom of decay, I have no cause to mourn or weep ; My foes are impotent and shy, •My friends are neither false nor cold ; And yet of late I often sigh— I’m growing old 1 My growing talk of olden times, My growing thirst for early news, My growing apathy to rhymes, My growing love of easy shoes, My growing hate of crowds aud noise, Xly growing fear of catching cold, All ie!l me, in the plainest voice— I'm growing old | I'm growing fonder of my staff. I’m growing dimmer in the eyes, I’m growing fainter in i\xy laugh, I'm growing deeper in my sighs. I'm growing careless of my dress, I'm growing frugal c;f liiy gold, I'm growing yyise, I'm growing—yes— I’m growing old ! I feel it in my changing taste, I see it ip my changing hair, I see it ip my growing waist, 1 see it in my growing heir ; A thousand hints proclaim the truth, As plapi as truth was pver told, Thai even in iny haunted youth— I’m growing ol(l 1 Ah me! my very laurel^ breathe The tale in my reluctant ears ; And every boon the hpprs bequeath But makes me debtor to the years'; E’en tlattcry’s honeyed words declare The seeret she would lain withhold, And tell me in ‘"How young you are !” lTu growing old ! Thanks for the years whose rapid flight My sombre muse too gladly sings; Thanks for the gleams of golden light That tint the darkness of their wings ; The light that beams from out the sky, Those heavenly mansipng to unfold, Where all are blest gnd mme shall sigh I’m growing old. John* G. Saxe. Miscellaneous. J. 51. HAYWOOD, Dealer in GENTS’ FURNISHING GOODS, COMBS, BRUSHES, American anil Imported Perfumery,^ Cor. Bull and Bryan Streets, SAVANNAH, - - GEORGIA. May 11, 187.i. tf GEORGIA Jane 9, IS70- 23—ly* A,Frei<lenberg4‘lb‘#- Wholesale and Retail Dealers in HEAVY and FANCY GROCERIES! Corner of Barnard and Broughton Sts., SAVANNA n, GA., K EKF constantly on hand a full Jsnpply of Ba con, Salt, Fish, Foreign and Domestic l.i- ouors Wines, Havana and West India truits, Se gars of the best Brands and of direct importation, Bnver* from the np country, will find it to tlieir advantage to examine our Slock and prices, before irehasing elsewhere. 18fi9. S 4 ' 1 * Aug. 25, Flimituve Warchousc, 138 BROUGHTON STREET, Savannah, Georgia, mg, and Now Work made to order, Repair- Bell Hanging, Mattress Making Upholstering-, h h t suy yrv jtotivz:. A. J. MILLER. C. V MILLER. Aug. 25, 1869. !4-ly MARBLEWORKS. Keep your Money In the “TERRITORY” BY SENDING YOUR ORDERS TO J. B. ARTOPE & SON, COR. 3D AND PLUM,ST$. MACON, - - - - - - GEORGIA. JlUiRRltR or Granite Box Toombs, Head Stones,Slabs, Vases Mantles, ST ATUES, &.C., Manufactured ot the best material. Parties wish ing Designs, with estimate, will be furnished at short notice. Constant/;/ on hand a Splendid Lot of ITALIAN AND AMERICAN IRON RAILING for CEMETERIES or other enclosures furnished at Man ufacturers’ prices. This is one of the oldest establishments in the country, aud long experience enables them to in sure satisfaction in every particular. Jill Orders trill Receive Prompt •Attention. Sept. 8, 1869. 8t> ly LITTLE & PHILLIPS, a- JR/OOIEZR/IS AND So?n vtfjjum @$etcdianfoj 97 Bay Street, V.l lVf.V.V.I//, A genus R>r Russell Coe’s Arnmonialed Superp May 11, 1870. tosphate of Lime. A. B. lionnwAv, H. Mvkbs ILMyyuis, Lynchburg, Va. Savannah, tin. Lynchburg, Va UOODM vN & MYERS, TOBACCO Gf/erediaDfij And Dealers in Cig’aTS and i^ipes 137 Bag Streep SAVANNAH, GA. As Agents for the various Manufactures of Virginia, \Ue arc prepared to till orders for every grade and style, at Jliinulaetarers’ prices. WE PAY THE HIGHEST PRICES FOB HIDES, BEESWAX, <Src. May 11, 1 S7o. 18-ly C. y. HUTCHINS, Wholesale Dealers in Hay, Grain % Produce, 133 and 135 Bay Street, SAVANNAH, - - GEORGIA. REFERENCES, Ketebnni &Hartridge, Sav.; Hunter & Gaminoi), Savannah ; Business Homes generally, Sav ; J. II. Smith At Co., Baltimore; Marshall, Philips & Co., Philadelphia; Williams & Morrison, N. Y.; I.ew ia Brown & Co.; Boston ; A. L. Griffin <£, Co., Buf falo ; E. W S. Nefi, fiucinnatii, Mav II, 1870 1 8-Iv How the Gi^nt was Caught and Set to Work.. More than twenty-five bunded years ago, an old Greek philosopher noticed that amber, when rttbbed, lm t d a strange power of attracting to itself light bod ies, such as straws, hair, and small sticks. The philosopher wondered and speculated about this, and made men tion of it in his writings ; but he died without having found out any good rea son for it. At intervals of several hun dred years, two or three other of the wise men of ancient times spoke of this peculiar power of amber and other sub stances. '1 hey made mention, too, of a luecr fish that gave shocks to any ani mal that came in contact with it. They also noticed—just what you must have seen many times—that when they took oil their clothes on a cold night they heard a crackling noise, and saw sparks of light, and tha,t t^eU' hair, on being combed, crackled and sparkled, and that a cat’s back, \<;hen rubbed the wrong way, gave out sparks. For more than two thousand years, generation after generation of men and women lived, noticed these queer things, a,nd, like the old Greek, died without haying fo'jnd out any reason for them. But, about the year sixteen hundred, an Englishman, named Dr. Gilbert, set to, work trying experiments;- and he found ou,t tliu.t not only amber, but many other substances had, when rubbed, this power of attraction. Slowly and pa tiently he worked. When people want t9 find out a scientific truth, they don’t do it by a lucky gu,ess, or a series of lucky guesses-. Sometimes it takes a whole lifetime of experiment and ob servation to arrive at and establish one little fact fii science. Many learned men became interested in the discove ries of Pr. Gilberst; there was some strange power of attraction hidden in these bodies which they could not ac count for or understand. They made machines to try experiments; they spent their time, and money, and brains in finding out the tru,th; a,nd they found out a great deal of truth about this wonderful electric-ifliftence. Some of the wise men, too, had their If you are, just send a shock down this tow-string ; my master has hold of the other end, and he will understand what you mean in a minute.” “Mind your own business,” returned thunder and lightning with a terrible flash and groan. “If your master wants to know about my family rela tions he must find out in some other way; that tow string will carry no messages of mine.” At this tow-string began to bristle up and look excited, and the rain water that had been keeping house in the next door cloud, and was just starting earthward, flashed out angrily, ‘‘Thunder and lightning J you are too proud to own your poor relations ! Ever since the world was made, you have been careering through the heav ens with your great flashings and groar- ings, pretending you did not have any thing to do on the earth, except to frighten men to death and tumble down their houses. But I’ll tell of you : I’ll soon let that wise man know that you are not a terrible and mysterious heav enly being, but a very common resident of earth, just as I am. I’ve been ach ing to tell about you for thousands of years, but I never found any ane on earth wise enough to understand my talk..” Thunder and lightning roared and flashed in great fury when they heard this, but rain ^"ater slid down the tow string with great glee, and with a series o fjerks and shocks, soon informed the wise doctor all he wanted to know about the distinguished relations of electrici ty. That must have been a sad day for the old giant, that had ranged heav ens and terrified the earth since the creation ; he must have felt humbled when he had to come down the string and get into a battle, and perform ex periments for the doctor. Ah 1 but it was a great day fbr the world. The wise doctor laughed glee, and all the wise men all over the world laughed and rejoiced at the news when they heard it, So the people lost their- terror of this giant; and he did not dare to go zig zagging around through the air, knock ing down people’s houses, for the peo ple put sharp pointed reds of iron on their houses, and the great giant did no.t dare to touch a house thus protec ted, for the sharp sentinel was ever on the lookout- “Don’t touch my house I This way, my friend. I’ll take you safe to a good place.” Afid the first thing the old giant knew, ho was whisked under ground, tight in prison, where he could do no mischief. » But men were not content to keep the old fellow out of mischief; they longed to set him to work- The chem ists found ou,t how to make him useful in their laboratories. The doctors set him to healing tlieir patients, and the siver-sraiths made him plate their wares. But still some wise men were sure that he was able to do many more useful things. They were certain that if they THE CENTRAL GEORGIAN RATES OF ADVERTISING. Book and Job work, of all kinds, PROMPTLY AND NEATLY EXECUTED AT THIS OFFICE- suspicions t,liat electricity was the same as lightning, the sparkle'corresponding to the flash, the crackfi^g noise to the thunder; but tjfiey had no way to prove their suspicions to be true; they ha4 no way of going qp. to, the clouds to examine the lightning, and they had; no way to bring it down to earth. But Benjamin Franklin, our famous American citizen, got a notion into his wise head theB.if fie could get on top of a high. Steeple- during a thunder storm, he could get enough lightning to experiment with. There were no high steeples ip Philadelphia, where he lived at that time; how.cvei:,. there was a very tall one in the process of build ing, but the w,o?k went on so slowly .that Dr. Franklin grew tired of wait ing, and he thought of another way. He made a kite, the most famous kite that ever went sailing up from this round world of ours. It was a small, cross shaped kite, just like any boy’s kite, only it was covered with thin silk instead of paper, for the rain would have spoiled paper ; and it had some sharp metallic points sticking out from the corners. It was a gallant little mes senger ; it rode fearlessly on the wings of the wind, away up into the black sky ; it entered bravely at the portals of a dark and threatening cloud. “Good morning, thunder and light- ning,” called out the little messenger; “my master sent me to inquire if you are any relation to the snaps and spar kles he makes on his electrical machine. could only invent the right sort of road, and the right sort of a harness, they could make the great giant travel from place to place, carrying the news. “Ah !” said the wise men, “he is just the one to carry the news ; he is so strong, so, tireless, so swift, so secret just the one, if we can only lftak.e him do. ifi”' So they worried tlieir wise heads night and day for many a year ; they devised plans and invented machine: But the old giant laughed their plans to scorn ; he broke in pieces their ma chines, he shocked and stunned the wise heads themselves, lie pranced away from them and danced in the air. * “Ila 1 ha!” he would shout. “Do you think you can harness me and set me to work ? I am free ; all the earth is my home and my hiding-place.— What are you, O man, that I should serve you ? You cannot sec me ; you cannot hold me ; you cannot measure me ; you, cannot direct and govern me. My Creator has set me bounds and laws. I obey Him and them.” Then the wiso men made answer, with reverence and faith sublime, “Sons and heirs of God, your Cr.ea- I tor, are we. All the subtle forces, and : great powers of nature are made for us, and shall minister unto us. Our heri tage waits till we, through wisdom, shall enter into it and possess it. You shall yet serve us, Forceaccording to your own laws, you shall worjk out our will.” You remember, in olden time, that a small pebble-stone slew the great Go- liah of Gath, So it happened, a quar ter of a, century ago, that a small thought entered into a wise man’s head, and dwelt there until it worked itself out into life and action, in the shape of Morse’s American Telegraph. And the old giant knew, as soon as he saw this machine, that he was caught and harnessed, and must go to work. He knew he was mastered, so he never winced or fiiiched the least bit; he set tled himself in the traces, the harness fitted so well he could not keep frqm working in it, the road suited his tastes far better than the old, ragged, zigza<* route he used to engineer out for him self. All over the round world, to-day, the track of the giant is gleaming in crys tal and steel; from north to south, from east to west, in the heavens above, in the errth beneath, and in the waters un der the earth, he ceases not to toil for man. Silent, omnipresent, sleepless, ahd tireless, this grand ally of civiliza tion, with his heart of fire ahd his sin ews of steel, keeps the deep pulses of humanity throbbing with the saxjje beat, rejoicing for the same jqv, mourning for the same sorrow. So the giant works joyfully jn the service of mankind; he Wqrlcs apeopdr ing to his own nature; he obeys the laws that were set for him from the creation of the world; when the mind of man conquered these laws, it coijr quered him. The earth is a great storehouse of occult forces ; the strong men and wise men of the future shall draw the bolts, and turn 1 the rusted keys, and bring forth its hid treasure to enrich and ex alt the whale human race. Boys and girls, knowledge and thought are the keys; grasp them surely, use them skilfully, enter upon the heritage se cured to you from the beginning of time,—Little Corporal Magazine. Josh Billings on Tite Boots. I hav in my posseshum, at this mo ment, a pair ov number nine boots, with a pair ov number eleven feet in em. Mi feet are ez a dog’s noze the fust time he wears a muzzle. I think mi feet will eventually chokd the boots to death. I liv in hope they will. I supposed I bad lived long enuif not to be pbooled agin in this way, but I hav found that an ounce of vanity weighs more than a pound ov reazon, espesbily when a man mistakes a bigg foot for a small one. Avoid tite boots, mi friend, az you, would the grip ov the devil, for many a man haz caught for life a fust rate habit for svvearin by encouraging biz feet to hurt hiz boots. I hav promised mi two feet, at least a dozen ov times during mi checkured life, that they never should be strangled agin, but I find them to-day az fullov pain az the stummuk ake, from a sud den attak ov tite boots. But this iz solemnly the last pair ov tite hoots i will ever wear; i will here after wear boots az big az mi feet, if i hav to go bare-foot to do it. I am too old and too respectable to be a phool enny more. Eazy boots iz one ov the luxuries ov life, but i forgit what the other luxury' iz, but i don’t kno as i care, provided i can get rid ov this pair ov tite boots. Enny man kan bav them for seven dollars, just half what they kost, and if they don’t make hiz feet ake wusa than an angle worm in hot ashes, he needn’t pay for them. Methuseles iz the only man that i kan kali to mind now who could hav afforded to hav wore tite boots, and enjoyed them; he had a grate deal ov waste time lew be miserable in, but life now days iz too short and too full of aktual bizziness to phool away enny of it on tite boots. Tite boots are an insnlt to enny man’s understanding. Tite boots hav no bowls of mersy K their insides are wrath and proiniskioua. cussing. Beware ov tite boots. Laziness.—An incorrigible loafer being taken to task lor his iaziuess, re plied : ‘I tel! you, gentlemen, you are mistaken. I have not a lazy bone in my body ; but the fact is I. was borq, tired.’ It was the same fellow, that thre\v- himself ruefully down under a tree, one hot day, dosed his eyes, and languidly murmured—‘Now breathe, if vou want to—I'll be hanged ifl will.’ It was a second cousin of his, whom friends decided to bury alive to keep him from starving, it being a time of famine, and he being too lazy to work. On their way to the grave, they met a benevolent man, who offered to give him a bushel of corn, rather than to. see him buried alive. He taised the coffin lid, and,drawled; out— ‘Is—it— shelled ?“ ‘No, but you can shell it.” ‘Drive—on—boys.’ Anil.a third cousin of his who was a leading member of the ‘Lazy Men’s Club.’ At a meeting of this institution charges were preferred against him for running down hill ; but he was excused on this plea that it was easier to run than to hold back. A few days ago a bouse of ill-fame in Detroit was entered by a man of middle age and serious countenance, who informed the women that he in-, tended to offer np prayer for their spifU-. nal welfare, and proceeded to do 'so, dropping on lps knees. The inmates of the house, not desiring his devotion al service, took advantage of, his posi tion aod rolled him out.of doors. But there their triumph endfiL Rising to bis feet he rushed back; into the house, striking out vigorously with the carnal weapons cf qof ure * n a style, that would have dpqe credit to the prize-ring. Having^ by such knock-down argil-, ments cleared a space he again knelt,, down and finished his prayer. The as tonished sufferers by this development of muscular Christianity subdued into silence, heard themselves descibed and^ their cases stated in prayer with a plain ness befitting the occasion. According to the provisions of tba. enforcement bill, obliteraiing, it does, all distinctions of color, ‘green hands’ must now receive the same wages as experienced workman.