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TI* T T f) h m MARCEL’S PORTION. A HOTEL IN THREE PARTS. B1 S4IOY DeTAVARKS. [■WRITTEN rXIREi^LY FOR THE ATLAjlTAHKBAl,I>. t but'as there is no such name as her’s cm the , record. Mr. Van Dosen must have her con fined in gome private house. ” “Why don’t you get the pullis to search for her T* asked Matilda. “No,that would not do,” he answered. “We , have no proofs that Mr. Van Dusen has kid napped her. She may have gone off of her own accord.” “No sich thing; yoa know better,” put in Matilda. Jeered «cordu,g to Act of CongWM. by tbe Hfbald 1 , \} d <- bllt “J “fig “ * iU . d °, } a Ptblishino coif pant, in the office of the Libra- law, he answered, and he added, Do not be nan at Washington. ! uneasy, I will find her yet. I am as anxious to know where she is as you are.” So Matil da was obliged to rest satisfied with this [continued from oub last Sunday's paper.] assurance. Mr. Sniff’s inherited smartness had failed CHAPTER IX. him in this instance. When searching the ( records he had looked for the name of Ara- ' bella Laurrissini and not for her assumed “You think me mad, but I am not,” she | one. Thus when he came to the name “Mar- replied. “I understand all that you say. ; i e n, A.” on the books he had passed it by Before God, I assert that I have been brougnt j without thinking it was the one Belle was here by tbe villainy of one man.” known by to the world. “Get up, I tell you,” said the doctor. , But during the past few days Mr. Sniff’s “Yours is the old story. Don’t talk any non- mind had been engrossed with another sub sense before me. Won’t you get up ?” he ; ject G f importance. The primary elections continued, observing that Belle made no mo- j for delegate to the Pious Fraud Congressional tion to move. “Here, John,” and he beck-; Nominating Convention in his district were oned to a man who had followed them from i t 0 held and he was interested in the result, the wharf, “Won’t you get up now ?" ^ Several gentlemen had addressed a letter to Belle turned impatiently as she replied: Mr. Van Dusen requesting him to allow them “Can you not let me rest for a few min- bring his name before the Convention for utes?” . nominaiion, and he had given a gracious con- “Give her a touch, John,” said the doc- - sent. It was true, he said, that he cherished tor. no political ambition, hot if his fellow- A sharp blew upon her shoulder was the ; citizens saw fit to make hiui their representa- first indication Belle had of the purpose with j tive in Congress, he did not think it his duty which the huge ruffian at her side approach- I to decline the honor. The Pious Fraud ed. As she started to her feet, a beam of ( Consol published the correspondence, with light from the lantern fell upon her face, re- ( editorial comments, in which it greatly vealing her features flashed and her black eyes pra ised Mr. Van Dusen and expressed the sparkling with indignation. She clenched j hope that the Convention would arail itself of her small, thin hands with anger, and then i the opportunity of making so talented, up- pressed them to her bosom. j right and distinguished a gentleman the “Shame !” she exclaimed, as well as her ! standard bearer of the noble party of Pious quivering lips would permit her to speak. Frauds, in the approaching coutest, upon the ••Coward! To strike me in the manner you j result of which depended the future wel- have.” fare and prosperity of the republic, as well as “Go in the house or I’ll let him give you the Glorious Principles of Human Freedom another taste of it,” said the doctor. “If she 1 and Great Moral Ideas. don’t move right off, give her another, His name having been thus prominently John.” brought before the public, Mr. Van Dusen Bello turned and harried towards the house. ; se t vigorously to work to make certain of a The doctor laughed. nomination. With as much zeal Mr. Sniff “Brought you under subjection, hey ?” he worked to prevent him. Although his family observed with a laugh. , resided on the river, Mr. Sniff’s legal resi- “No, but you shan’t send me mad,” she j deuce was in the city, at the home of a very answered. “I must keep sane, come what, Christian family, to the head of which he will.” She clenched her hands again, then paid the liberal sum of three dollars and fifty rubbed the shoulder on which the blow had j cents per week for his board and lodging, to fallen. By this time they had reached the say nothing of more valuable compensation portico of tne house, the front door of which | iu the shape of his moral society, conversa- the doctor opened with a key which he took tion and example. Hitherto Mr. Sniff had from his pocket. : been content to remain a simple voter of the “Principles asserted, Morality vindicated,” said the voice of Mr. Sniff who had just ar rived in time to hear the last words of the speaker. The reporter turned around and looked upon Mr. Sniff. “You spoke, sir?” he said. “Yes, sir, I spoke,” returned Mr. Sniff. “I said that in addition to what you have named we must have Principle asserted and Morality vindicated. ” “Very pretty sentiments, sir,” observed the reporter, “but, d—n me sir, they wont do in practical life. As sure os my name is Sucker, they wont do. Do you remember how Reaper got appointed to high office, although he was notoriously known as a rowdy, a pimp, a thief and a murderer? Its merely a ques tion of policy, sir. Why, d—n me, it' we were to rake up every mau’s character when he appeared as u Candidats we would not find men enough to fill half the offices in the re public. “Itmay be so among the Repeaters,” said Mr. Sniff, “ but I am happy to know that the great majority of the Pious Frauds are men of high moral characters. There are some bad men among us, I admit, and it is because one of them has dared to appear before us as a candidate that I am here. I recret, my friends, then refilled his glass, drank its contents, j “Read what it says on that card. I pulled a note book out of his pocket and j believe my eyes.” throwing his legs on the back of an adjacent Mary Jane reads. c , t ir ' looked at Mr.^ Sniff. Elderly lady goes off in a dead swoon, * " e 7 r f, begm, he said, puffing his cigar , murmuring incoherently about divorces and and watching the smoke as it escaped from alimony, his mouth in wreaths. “I may as well tell you that the lady directed me to receive*fifty dol- YET AN0THEB - lars from you.” 1 The urbane postman halts in front ot a bmff moved uneasily m his chair and pretentious-looking three-story edifice. No. that I cannot support Mr. Van Dusen. the father of daughters—small, it is true, but j name correctly still daughters—I cannot agree to support the j you SDiff ?” seducer of Innocence.” j Mr. Sniff intimated that such wa “You are a Jackass,” said a voice at the spoken by the editor, door, which all recognized immediately as “ Is your full name Ezekiah Sniff that of Mr. Greenmount. Mr. Sucker. For Heaven’s sake, polite reader, do not j blame the writer of this veracious history for I all the profanity and rode language indulged in by sundry characters herein described. It must be borne in mind that the author did not create the society of the times. If Brown, Jones and Robinson choosed to utter impolite words, I cannot be held accountable for them. Besides, Brown, Jones and Robinson were, and are, distinguished members of society— men of noted respectability, whose social cir cles were of the very highest character. When, therefore. Mr. Greenmount declared Mr. Sniff to be the animal mentioned in the foregoing lines, no person present accused him of impoliteness. All merely glanced iu the direction of the door. “ You are a greater fool than Sucker here,’' continued Mr. Greenmount, pointing to the seedy looking reporter. “What do you know about Mr. Van Dusen’s character ? He is as moral a man as auv of us here.” “I assure you he is not,” said Mr. Sniff*. But the editor cut him short, saying, as he gave a pull at his saspenders: Shut up, man ! ** then, addressing the del that he was a filthy beast, took another glass of lemonade and prepared to leave. As they issued from the lager beer saloon, Mr. Sucker ran after them and caught Mr. Sniff by the arm. “ You most give me your name,” he said. “As you are the only opponent of Mr. Van Dusen it will be necessary to publish your name and remarks.” “Not for the Consol, Sucker,” interposed Mr. Greenmount, “I won’t have a word of his remarks published. His opposition was disgraceful and unpatriotic. He has made a fool of himself enough without adding to it by publication.” “But there’s the Repeater, Mr. Greenmount,” said the Reporter, “D—n me, Mr. Green mount, there’s the Repealer, you know.” Mr. Greenmount polled at his suspenders and turned away in disgust. “There now,” he said to Mr. Sniff. “haven’t yon made a nice mess of it? Couldn’t you keep your infernal nonsense to yourself? Of course it will all go into that nigger hating paper, and a fine row there will be. I always thought you a fool, Sniff*. ” “But, Mr. Greenmount,” that gentleman began, “it is a question of mo—” j Sucker never breaks his word. Here’s I puts fresh caps on it, and at the appointed Here Mr. Sucker suddenly interrupted ■ the article, 111 read it to you os it is written.” j time may be seen slowly pacing up and down llim * 1 [to be continued in next Sunday's PAPER.] j ? eaT the corner of Eighth and Olive, watch ing out for some fellow to drop a hand kerchief. Tne tellow who sent the card t as a joke, slides around the corner, catch - es a glimpse of the irate hnsband INCIDENTS OF THE CHEAP DIFFUSION OF INTEL- chuckles to himself, and leaves licence. for down town. Husband paces up and down until near nine o’clock, when finding that he From the St. Lonis Republican. was attracting the attention of the police, That new device of Postmaster General i and the consciousness that he is sold begin! Creswell, tbe postal cards, went into circula- ; ning to dawn upon him, he skulks off home tiou yesterday. As they have beeu somewhat I by another street, and says nothing to any- elaborately described in the Washington ! tody. There is no tableau, special dispatches for the last several weeks, ! Mr. Cresweli’s ingenious but simple device it is not necessary to go into particulars here. ; for the cheap diffusion ot iutelligenceiswork- Besides, nearly everybody has seen them, and ing admirably. Black mailers, deadbeats knows how to describe them himself. But for ; and divorce lawyers contemplate the postal a general description it might be said that' cards, and visions of gold harvests shimmer Mr. looked at the door. “ Don’t be afraid,” said Tom, laughing, “ I don’t intend to rob you. D—n me, sir, I’m a gentleman, every bit of it.” “You cannot expect me to pay you money without knowing for what,” remarked Sniff, somewhat assured by tbe manner of the re porter. “Of course not,” returned Tom, stretching out his arm and reaching for the bottle. “But 1 like to have these little things under stood. No work, no pay. Besides which I actually lost a handsome sum of money by not publishing the facts. I wrote out a quar ter of a column about it for the Repeater, but I couldn’t send it op before I saw you. D—n - W~ n avenue. The'head of the family brushes past him and starts up the steps. Postman hands him a package of letters and postal cards. Head of family glances at them and sees one addressed to the wife of his bosom. Turns it over and reads: Ht. Louis, May 17. Dearest—Meet me at half-past seven this evening, corner Eighth and Olive streets. Will drop a handkerchief for signal. Wear heavy vail. Yours till death. B. B. B. Husband crushes postal card in his clench ed hand. “Ha !” he ejaculates, “this is the way of it, is it? I’ll take a hand in this bus iness myself.’.’ Then he goes into house, and me, sir, I’d pledged my word to the lady and ! resurrects his six-shooter and loads it, and iom feucker never breaks his word. — :a .a . ^ n toe, sir,” said he, “did I hear your ■ Did Mr. Greenmount call . the name \ asked Postal Card Jokes. “ It is. But why do you ask ? ” returned tbe Moral Man. “ Why, d—n me, I've been looking for you these five weeks.” •* I cannot imagine what you can need me for. I never—” “1*11 explain,” said Mr. Sucker, taking him by the arui and dragging him along, greatly to Mr. Sniff’s astonishment. When they had Teached the corner, Mr. SuckeT halted and confronted his companion. “This is too public a place to talk to you,” he said. “We must go somewhere else. Suppose we go to the Bohemian’s Shades—a first rate, very respectable barroom, I assure you.” “Sir,” returned Mr. Sniff* severely. “You must excuse me. I never visit those places of sin and degradation. Even the house we just left was only entered by me because I had a solemn duty to perforin. If you have any business with me, sir, please to state it here.” “Can’t be done,” said Mr. Sucker, shortly. Whatever people may say of Tom Sucker, they never will sav he spoke about a lady’s in the sunlight of their graceful imaginations. There is not a particle of doubt that these cards will prove valuable as advertising me diums, and for sending brief messages of a business or social natnre which are not con fidential. But the avenues to fraud, black mail and scandal breeding are too numerous to be compassed within any bounds except egates, he went on: “ It is time to organize. I business iu the open street.” call the Convention to order.” The convention being called to order, the Damdutch laid aside their pipes and glasses ‘Take her to No. 12, John,” he said. Pious Fraud ticket, no political aspirations j with a sigh, while the other delegates assumed “Wait a minute,” said Belle, placing her ever entering bis heart. Now he astonished ! an attitude of strict attention, hand upon his shoulder ; “I wish to say some- his friends and the politicians by announcing thing to you.” He stopped and gazed upon himself a candidate for the office of delegate her. , i to the Nominating Convention. It so hap- 3ooner or later I will be taken from here,’ ; pened that the election precinct in which he she continued. “When I am gone, if you ever hear that anything h&s befallen Henry Van Dusen, make up your mind that I have taken my revenge for the blow you caused to be given to me. Rest assured, too, that I won’t harbor a hard thought against you for ail the indignities I may suffer while here. You are a poor hireling—a mete tool. I look upon you with contempt. It is your master I have to deal with.” A loud laugh, ringing through the narrow ostensibly lived was the residence of a large number of particularly religious Pious Frauds, most of whom were members of the same church to which he belonged. It was quite natural, then, that they should rally in support of so eminently correct a man as Mr. Sniff. It was a gratifying evidence of Un creased purification in politics, when he would announce his intention to actively take part in the preliminary contest. ^ _ Mr. VaQj Dusen was much annoyed when hallway, interrupted her at this moment, j he learned of Mr. Sniff’’s purpose, as he telt Looking in the direction lrom wbenee it came, she saw the head of a man thrust through a small opening of a door on the right side of the hall near the further end. His face was in a broad grin, from ear to ear. “I am the .King of Clubs,” he said, laugh ing horribly. “Come beauteous creature, come to my arms ! Oh, goddess of my heart, oh, Queen ot Trumps, you are as lovely as an angel ’ I’ll bet ten dollars on my hand that before the break of day von are standing certain that gentleman would oppose him. He was too politic, however, to openly express disapproval, although he quietly marshaled his supporters in the precinct to elect a dele gate pledged to vote for him. But the friends of Mr. Sniff were too strong for them. They rallied to the standard of jSniff' and after a sharp struggle succeeded in electing him their dellgate. On the evening for the convention to meet, most of the delegates assembled in the rear on your bead, shuffling a deck of cards, with j room of a very respectable lager beer saloon. — u:a *” Although the great body of Pious Frauds, the four aces hid in your bosom “Take me away from here for God's sake,” \ throughout the country never drank any- exclaimed Belle. “This is terrible.” thing stronger than water, yet they were As they walked past the door, from which ! compelled to show a certain respect for that the womans’ head protruded, he burst out national weakness of their Damdutch allies, into another peal of wild laughter. \ which exhibited itself in a fondness for a “You’re a dead beat,” he said. “A regular beverage known as Lager. As these worthy dead beat. I dare you to stand up like a man j naturalized citizens would never meet in Mr. Jonathan Peak was unanimously chosen chairman, and Mr. Spiegel secretary. It so happened that Mr. Spiegel was unable to read and write the English language with propriety, so he walked to the table before which Mr. Sucker had taken a seat and asked that gen tleman if he would record the proceedings of the Convention. Mr. Sucker rose from his chair, placed one of his hands gently on tbe shoulder of Mr. Spiegel, and led him aside. “Certainly, with pleasure.” he said; and then placing his mouth near the ear of Mr. Spiegel, he whispered, “Perhaps you haven't such a thing as a five dollar bill about you ?” Mr. Spiegel intimated that he bad several five dollar bills about him. “D—n me, then,” said Mr. Sucker, “Can’t you lend me a five for a few days. The fact is, between us, I’ve beeu dissipating lately and am somewhat short. That ballet girl at Leg A Lady!” exclaimed Mr. Sniff, “Good gracious, me ! Can it be —” and be stopped and looked fall in the face of his com panion. “D—n me if I didn’t,” he replied, nod ding. “Very important information. Shall we take a walk to the Bohemian Shades ?” Mr. Sniff hesitated for an instant and finally acquiesced. The two then walked down the street until they reached a plain brick building, with baize doors concealing the interior from public view. A transpar ency being up in front revealed the words “Bohemian Shades,” while the clinking of glasses and loud laughter from tbe interior told what business was carried on inside. Mr. Sucker pushed the baize doors open and entered, followed timidly by Mr. Sniff, who had taken the precaution to unhook his watch chain from the button hole of his vest and conceal it, together with his watch in his pocket. A number of young men were seated on chairs, or standing before the bar drinking, smoking and chatting. All seemed to be well acquainted with Mr. Sucker, for as soon they are designf d for the distribution of intel ligence among the masses at one- third the usual rate. You can write almost anything you please on a postal card, so that it isn’t too long—that is to say, the article that is written. But there are some things which do not read well on a postal card. Take for instance a large board ing house, where the landlady takes care of '■ the range of a sinful ingenuity. the mail until the boarders call for it. This j sometimes makes the diffusion of intelligence ~ ~ among the masses a trifle too diffuse for com-, The Devil. fort. The postman comes to the door with i an armful of postal cards. The landlady re-! extracts from the recent pastoral of lieves of the burden, goes in and sits down bishop elder, of Mississippi. and begins to sort them over for the various boarders. Ireseutl} she strikes one which] “Three thousand three hundred years ago, reads thus: ! ft people among the wealthiest of the known ^T- Louis, May 17. world had some methods of conjurations, by My Dear Theoph. Come to-night at half- j which they believed they could converse with past ten. Side gate open. Bull dog chained , the spirits of the dead, and learn things from up in the basement. Light in the window | them which were not otherwise known. Al- for you. Yours sweetly, E. B. L. | mighty God condemned this ‘seeking truth Landlady tarns to the other side of the , from the dead’ in the same sentence with the card. She reads the superscription: barbarous superstition of passing children bare’s, Dansitti—you know who I mean— j as that gentleman entered a dozen voices cost me five hundred dollars last month.” 1 greeted him. The able secretary hesitated. j “Hallo, Tom, got through? ’ asked one “Look here, d—n me,” continued Mr. Suck- . pale faced young man, twirling the few daring Mb. Theophilus Mufflecheek, No. 12. 975 Hash Avenue. City. Landlady rests her cheek on her left hand and muses passim. Landlandy solus: “Well, now did I ever? Who’d a thought that Mr. Mufflecheek was that kind of a man ? Came here, too, with the highest references from his last place. Pays his board regularly every Saturday at tea. Belongs to our church, too.” [Reads again.] “Half past ten—dear me, and I always thought he went to bed regularly at half past nine. Bull dog chained up in the basement ! Well, I never! I’ll keep a little watch of Mr. Mufflecheek. I’ll expose him before tbe church.” Then she draws a long sigh, and proceeds with another card: [Reads. ] St. Louis, May l 1- Sir— I have now waited four weeks for the God. through the fire. He pronounced both prac: tices to be abominations; and declared that these and other sorcerers were the cause why He had sentenced those people to be utterly destroyed, and given their enemies power t o accomplish it. (Deuteronomy, c. xviii., v. 9 12.) “These ruins of old abominations men are now rebuilding among us, and boasting of them as new discoveries, and triumphs of progress. “St. Paul called the devil ‘the god of this world who has so blinded the minds of un believers that the light of the Gospel of the glory of Christ may not be seen by them.’ (2d Corinthians, ch. iv., v. 4.) And now we see the forbidden intercourse with evil spirits erected into a religion as the worship of I am reporting this convention for both papers—the Goram Daily Repeater, (fine pa per that, twelve dollars a year, invariably in advance,) and the Pious Fraud Consol,( rather flighty and eccentric, but widely circulated.) You need a good notice. Shall I say that our popular fellow citizen, Hans Spiegel, perform ed the duties of Secretary with his accustom ed ability ? Nothing like a good notice, you know. One is worth a fortune.” Yer veil, you keeve goot notise den,” and balance on that suit of clothes. I need the money. Must have it Monday. Yours, Nimbleneedle. Turns to the superscription and reads: Mr. Jerome R. Sunflower, No. 13,975 Hash avenue. “ Well, if ever I heard the like in mv life! ou his face to hare supplied the first speaker j Mr. Sunflower is such a nice gentleman: And ! devilTus"'their‘vastly superior ku^wl^e of and one or two others, with ample beards , he uses such elegant perfumery. Let me see: | the R ot their e lem ents to work their By this time several of the young men had | he owes for two weeks board Told me this : mHl ‘ ce Thev can do thi of course botb surrounded Mr. Sucker, wmle the others were | morning he was expecting a check from home. I men and evi f spints , onlv , mder the permis _ sion of God and within the limits allowed bv hairs that condescended to appear on his up per iip. “Just in time, Tom, to take a drink,” re marked another individual with enough hair “Should we wonder; then, if God did allow the devil more influence over the affairs of • men, and more power to use the storms and flames with which he is familiar ? “As bad men can use their knowledge oi the nature of gunpowder, steam and poison • : for the injury of their neighbors, so can the looking at Mr. Sniff with an air of puzzled ] I must go to his room and see how much baj curiosity. Who the deuce is that old chap?” whis- and play me a square game of poker. No solemn conclave unless each man had a jug i Mr. Spiegel drew from his capacious pockets J pered one to Tom. “Where the deuce did you stocking the deck though. One dollar blind of beer before him, and as the district in j a roll of bills and handed a five dollar one to j pick him up Tom? He looks like a Presby- and five hundred limit Hands called, seen, question contained a very large number of j the reporter. Money up. Say,” he screamed after her, “I’ll i Damdutch supporters of the Pious Frauds, j “Let’s to work,” said Mr. Sucker, quickly marry you to-morrow, my girl, and I’ll kick j who had sent nearly one-half of the delegates i stowing tho bill away. They accordingly re the life*out of you in the evening. Say, what ! to the convention, it was deemed advisable * " ' “ * ** s * a leg vou have!” i not to insist upon the hall of the Puritan He went on speaking, but Belle heard no * Prayer Meeting Society as the place in which more of hia words. She had reached the end to hold tbe convention. Indeed, I have an of the hall, and was conducted along a pass-, idea, from all than can be iearned, the Dam age which connected the bailding for male ! dutch had previously given notice that unless lnnatics with thst in which the insane women the convention was held in the lager beer sa- were confined. At the end of this passage , loon of Herman Smetly, they would not par- was a flight of steps which the keeper ordered ticipate in the primary election. The fact her to ascend. On reaching the landing she * was that two years previously the Total Ab* saw a long corridor with rooms on both aides, stinence men got control of affairs and select- When they reached No. 12 the keeper stopped, j ed the Puritan Prayer Meeting Society Hall “Go in there” he said, throwing the door ; as the place for convening. The evening be- 0 p en> i ing excessively warm and the Damdutch ex- She entered, the door was closed again and ; ceedingly thirsty, (as they always appear to locked, the footsteps of the keeper died away j be), a considerable quantity of iced water and she found herself alone. j was consumed in the absence of lager. Through a small window, protected with ! Unused to such cold draughts, and to their iron bars, far above her reach, the moon- 1 great disgust, the unfortanate Damdutch beams straggled into the room, giving just j were all attacked by violent cramps in their enough light to distinguish objects with. The 1 stomachs and were only cured by each man apartment was quite small and the furniture drinking forty-one glasses ot* lager before re turned to the table, before which they took seats, and then the proceedings began. Mr. Greenmount nominated Mr. Van Dusen as the candidate of the Pious Frauds for Congressman from th« district. “This,” began Mr. Sniff, rising from his seat, “This is the very first time I have had occasion to oppose the distinguished ed itor of the Cousol. I have the greatest possi ble respect for him, as I cannot help having, after reading his journal every day, except on Sundays and legal holidays, when it is not published, for the past fifteen years. But Mr. Greenmount is not personally acquainted with the candidate whose name he has proposed. Shall we send to Congress the violator of our daughter’s chastity ? You are all aware that I was once in the service of Mr. Van Dusen. Why did I leave that service ? Because, as a moral man, as a father with daughters—small, it is true, bat still daughters—because as a terian preacher.’ “D—n me, gentlemen,” said Tom, “you must excuse my joining you just now, as I have some particular business to transact with this gentleman. This is Mr. Sniff, gentle men. Mr. Sniff, allow me to introduce you to a few members of the press. Clever fel lows, Mr. Sniff*, d—n me if they aint?” One by one the members of the press ad vanced, puffed a cloud of tobacco smoke in Mr. Sniff' ’s face and shook him by tbe hand. He bore the infliction with the air of a mar tyr tied upon the stake, and when it was over mildly suggested to Tom, who had taken a drink in spite of his previous declination, that he was not accustomed to late hours and would like to hear what he had to say. “Pardon me, I almost forgot,” said Tom, who then addressed the barkeeper. “Bill, let us have a private room and send in for or ders.” The rear of the bailding was divided up into little apartments, into one of which the two gentlemen were led. They were followed by a ' ; Him. gage he has. Dear me ! folks are so unac countable.” Comes to another. Reads: ] _ . , .. Ml- DEiE Sprig gins—Just deposited four .“Some persons think they see an increase hundred to your credit in the Twelfth Nation- _ f _ . „ member of the church, and, in a word, be-! yonng man who served as a waiter, and who, scanty. A single bed placed upon the floor, tiring to bed. As they coaid easily obtain cause, as a Pious Fraud, I could not con- j after they had taken seats, requested to know with but a single sheet and one pillow, with- the remedy without having to suffer from the ! tinue my connection with a man whose social | what they would have. out a pillow case, lay near the door. Oppo- ] malady, it was firmly resolved upon that the j life is better fitted to the society of the slave- ] Have ! ” said Mr. Sniff, much surprised, site to it was a bench nailed to the flooring, same hall, or any other like it, should never i holding aristocracy than to the society ot a ] “Good gracious—” but Tom cut him short, while a tin cup which hung suspended from be used again. Thus it came about that a. | State in which the advocates of human free- \ “I’ll give the order,” he said, gravely, a water pipe that jutted from the iron, com- Congressional Nominating Convention of i dom, virtue, honesty and morality are even’“Let’s see,’ he continued, reflectively, pleted the contents of the apartments, except-; Pious Frauds was called to be held in the j recognized among Pious Frauds, as alone de- ing only a few pegs on which to hang clothing rear room of Smetly’s Lager beer saloon. 'serving of elevation to positions of on the back of the door. The apartment was a largo one, occupied ] honor and trust. I will not charge “I will beat him yet,” she muttered as she I by several round tables around which were ' Mr. Van Dusen with being an immoral man,but sat on the bench. “I will get out of here pi* ce d chairs. Before the first, seated on the I do assert that facts have come to my knowl- yet. If the worst comes to tbe worst my I chairs were nearly all the delegates to the i edge which make me satisfied that he is not brother shall know where I am and then he convention. A clear majorty of them were proper person to represent our glorious *" ~ " ' * organization. I therefore introduce the name will take me out.” ; Damdutch, as was made evident by the Alone, in a mad-house the sane woman sat ^ number who smoked pipes with enormous with maniacs slumbering on their scanty beds , bowls, and quaffed the red-brown contents of on every side of her. And the most singular huge glasses, which were replenished by thing in connection with her confinement^ active waiters as soon as* they were emptied, was that, although she lived in a land where i The Temperance delegates were distinguished freedom reigned supreme, the power of Mr. j by them sitting before three tables near the VanDusen’s money was potent enough to place window of the room, apart from the Dam- her where she was. Such cases as her s were dutch. All of them were engaged in conver- common enough in countries where a titled nation, as well as iu drinking lemonade, aristocracy ruled, but the millions who shout- which the barkeeper assured them contained ed until they were hoarse, in praise of tbe nothing more than lemon, sugar and water, best government the world ever saw, did not j but the odor from which was strongly sugges- believe them possible in their own glorious j 0 f gin. republic. Standing almost iu the center of the room I regret to record it, but it is a fact that j W as a needy looking individual with a roll of even the incorruptible press of Goram never | paper in one hand, a glass of lager in the even alluded to the order lor Belle’s confine-! other and a large pencil stuck behind his ear. ment in the asylum. Two enterprising re- He was of medium height and was quite porters had obtained all the facts in the case, thin. but they wrote nothing about it, and as they j *‘D—n me, gentlemen,” ho said. “I’m a soon after appeared on the streets dressed in j Repeater and I don’t care who knows it, but brand new suits of clothes, it is not uuchari- j do assert that you cannot nominate a better “ At Vf_ T' - TA TT. ; A table to assume that Mr. Van Dusen had “seen” them. CHAPTER X. man than Mr. \an Dusen. He is your strong est card. Of course we will boat him, but he’ll come nearer to an election than any other can- ! didate you can put up.” j “Perhaps,”;rejoined one of the temperance me. van dusen is nominated i*or congress delegates, “it would be more advisable to in spite of mb. sniff’s opposition. ( keep your advice for Repeater Conventions. In spite of the most careful inquiry several | **P-—n me. No, sir,’^ answered the seedy weeks passed by and Mr. Sniff con Id learn nothing about Belle. Luckily Matilda had charge of her wardrobe and money, and three months rent was paid in advance lor the apartments her mistress bad occupied, so that the good soul was not at a loss for means of support. What, with visiting Mr. Sniff and the Convent at which the infant was placed, the time passed with her less slowly that it wonld otherwise have. She was, of course, very uneasy as to Belle’s whereabouts. “I tell you,” she said at her last interview with Mr. Sniff, “You mus’ fine mv missis. Taint no use fooling ’bout this way.' “My good woman,” replied tbe gentleman, “I wish I could find her. I am doing all I can to ascertain where she is. I had a no- of Mr. Jeremiah Sanctity as a candidate. Mr. Greenmount thought that Mr. Sniff was making an Ass of himself. All that was charged against Mr. Van Dnsen was nothing more than a Repeater Lie, which Mr. Sniff'had heard told and eagerly swallowed. They could have no better man than Mr. Van Dusen. He belonged to one of the oldest Dutch fami lies in the State, and was certain to be elected if nominated. “D—n me if he is,” muttered Mr. Sucker iu an audible tone, from the table. Mr. Hofenzeimberachtsuilz. a large, big bellied Damdutch, with a huge beard that concealed the greater part of his face arose, took a whiff of his pipe, puffed the smoke from his capacious jaws, swallowed half a glass of lager, and twirled his mustache. “Et tont mokes mooch teefrance,” he said, “eel te shentlenian’s tone wrongs. Py tarn ! ve alls toes wrongs ! Blentv oter vellers toes wrongs too. Poot Herr Van Dusen ees a Tootchmans, Meester Creenmoun jest tells us. All ns Yarmans votes for him, py tarn I” Mr. Hofenzeimberachtsnitz here gave a grunt, breathed heavily and took hia seat. All of the other Damdutch gave grunts, breathed heavily and said, “Yaw, be toes, py tam!” A vote was then takeu and the first ballot looking individual, holding out his glass to be refilled. “As a newspaper reporter, I am interested in the result. It is a question of public importance. D—n me, gentlemen, as a member of the press, you know, I must be excused if I give advice. ” It was a pleasant weakness of this press re porter that he was always asking people to damn him. “I repeat,” he continued, “that Mr. Van Dusen is the best man you can nominate. Why, d—n me, you need money to oarry this district with. Mr. Van Dusen has all you want. Yoo need a man who can get votes from the opposition. If Mr. Van Dusen can not, no other man can. What else do you need.” al. Draw on me at sight for the balance. Yours, B. W. K. Turns to the superscription and reads: J. Deadafield Spbiggins, Esq., No. 13,075 Hash ave., City. Gracious me! How much like Mr. Sprig- of this power for evil, at the present time, in the number and grievousness of the disasters which mark our day. Whether this be so or not, we have reason to fear God’s special anger in our times, because indifference to God is a marked characteristic of the present day. * * * The same God who created the material gins' own handwriting.that is. Singular that j world and the iaws which govern it created the two persons should write so nearly alike. als0 the minds of men . and it is H e who. in Let me see. Mr. Spnggms told me he ex- j cac jj successive age, gives men the power to peeled some money to-day. | discover from these laws of nature just as Enter Sprigging Good afternoon, mad- , juach as He pleased to let him know, and Landlady—“Here is a postal card for you.” Sprig—“Oh, yes.” [Reads to himself.] ‘That’s all right. By the way, madarne, have you money enough in the house to cash a fifty- dollar check? It’s after banking hours, and nothing more. In our generation God has been lifting the curtain a little higher than before and men are learning something more about the elements and their mode of action. But with too many, instead of being thankful, they have only grown conceited—and set I just received a telegram from Kansas City, j aside God himself and His teachings as be- and must go on the night train. Landlady—I’ll go right away and look in my bureau drawer. 1 reckon I can accommo date vou. [Landladv returns with a roll of bills.] neath the notice of scientific men. “It %wonld not be strange, then if God should confound their ingratitude and pride by letting the evil spirits have greater free dom to destroy their works and baffle the in Sprig—Here, I'll just include that three i ventions of their science. It is not our place weeks' board in the check and make seventy- | to say that He will do so, but it is the place of five. Balance will be fifty. i all who fear and love Him to offer Him repara- Landlady counts out fifty, which Sprig j tion for this spirit of pride, by showing in thrusts into his vest pocket, goes up stairs, I every way the opposite spirit of humble faith gets his valise and starts to catch the train for and childlike trust in Him.” Kansas City. Landlady will discover to-mor-1 The safeguards urged by his eminence are What shall we take ? The weather is too warm lor whisky. Jim, bring us a bottle of sherry, some ice, and half dozen genuine Ha vanas.” The waiter disappeared and presently re turned with the wine and cigars. These, with a platefull of ice, two glasses and a spoon, he placed on the table. “You can leave, Jim,” said Mr. Sucker. The waiter retired, closing the door after him. As soon as they were alone Mr. Sucker put some ice in two glasses, uncorked the bottle, and pushed it betore Mr. Sniff. “ Help yourself,” he said. “I never drink wine,” replied Mr. Sniff', sitting erect, and looking very serious. “Tamperance, hey?” remarked Tom. “Poor doctrine, Sir! Why, d—n me, there was Charles Bhyrn, one of the best descrip tive reporters in city. He joined a Tem perance Society, Sir, and what was ihe con sequence? The very next summer he drank so much iced water that it gave him cramps and took him off. Wrote two sticksful about him in the Repeater. Poor Charley ! Killed by temperance! I)—n me, if I ever will be! No, Sir, I'd go without my meals,” continued Mr. Sucker, filling hi? glass and pouring the contents down his throat. I'd go without clothes rather than do without my bottle of wine or so after dinner. Fact.” Mr. Sucker spoke truly, but he quite omit ted to mention that on a majority of days the bottle of wine he drank was a pint of very weak French concoction sold at the moderate sum of fifteen cents. “Best Sherry’ iu town” he went on nodding in a friendly maimer to Mr. Sniff. “So you resulted iu favor of Mr. Van Dusen, the fig- j don’t drink ?” Well, perhaps you smoke. Try ures standing Van Dusen, 32, Jeremiah Sane- j a cigar.” And he shoved the cigars over be- tity, 4. On a motion to make the nomination j fore lighting one himself, unanimous, three delegates who bad voted for Mr. Sniff declined. He never smoked. Mr. Sanctity agreed, but Mr. Sniff declared ! “Why, d—n me !’ exclaimed Tom. “Don’t that he would never consent to have his name i smoko either? Good God, Sir ! how do you recorded as having voted for Mr. Van Dusen, j live? Neither drink nor smoke? Excuse my who was consequently declared the nominee bluntness, but if you are a married man, I row that the similarity between Mr. Sprig- gins’ handwriting and that on the postal card isn't such a singular circumstance after all. It only cost Spriggs one cent to raise the wind. These postal cards aTe an incalcula ble convenience to the toiling masses. A VARIATION. Postman rings at a modest looking prayer and good works, but especially those external forms cf prayer which manifest the Catholic faith, before men and devils, i. e.. the use of the sign of the cross, holy water, beads, scapulars, medals, holy relics, images, Agnus Deis, etc. [This pastoral of Bishop Elder is but the merest drop from the bucket of Catholic mys- T a * a o a • i j tic theology. The poliev of the Church is to Locust street. Servant girl comes to be i id the t abje c,. gurding everything eon- door. Postal cards for the master of the ; in it ag i sort % { m * hc , Me komvl- house, who has only been married a couple ! d £ nd the priegt cr the bishop neTer ol years, hervant girl delivers the postal (lr « ws frQm (be a i ocumulated experience of the cards to young wife. \ oung wife reads: _ Charch „ cept wben he ha8 a ^ T - Lous. May 17. a spirituai “patient” needing such treatment. Dear Joe—^ ill be at the corner Twelfth | This is certaiulv an extraordinary pastoral.] and Pine, hack, halt-past nine. First-class 1 r ,, « 1_ party of boys. ^ Be ou hand, half-past nine, j The questions of immigration. Radicalism, sharp. Wake’em op. O. K. and State debt have so flostrated the Wilming- Young wife lavs down the postal cards and ; ton (N. C.) Journal that it gets quite angry elevates her eve-brows. Mr. Cresswell’s cheap ! over them. It says it greatly prefers the peo for Congiess ot the Pious Frauds, by 28 ma jority. A committee was then appointed to inform Mr. Van Dnsen ol his nomination, after which the convention adjourned subject to the call of its presiding officer. As tbe Damdutch delegates resumed their lager and pipes, the temperance men, includ ing Mr. Greenmount, who hatad the smell of tobacco, and hAd already told one delegate pity your wife and children. I positively couldn’t write a decent paragraph without a cigar in my mouth. D—n me, sir, I usually import my own cigars. Miserable stuff they do sell hero for Havana’s. “But” suggested Mr. Sniff’ “It is getting late. Will you be kind enough to explain what lady you have anything to tell me about.” “Certainly, in a moment.” Mr. Sucker method of diffusing intelligence has let flood of new light in upon her mind. Young wife, solus: “So this is tbe club, is it ? Riding around town in hacks all night, with a party of first-class boys. Oh, dear, oh, dear!” Then she weeps copiously aud sighs deeply. She will go home to her moth er the very next day! Sbe never was so wronged and outraged in her whole life! Weeps again passionately, and seeks the camphor bottle. Young husband, all un conscious, comes home to supper. Tableaux. ANOTHER. ; Postman ambles up tho front steps of an ! imposiug mansion at No. place. Col ored boy opens tho door aud receives postal card addressed to the dignified elderly gentle man who owns the premises, and pretty much all the other premises iu that vicinity. Elder ly wife sees the postal card. She has never seen one before. She takes it trom the col ored boy and reads: “St. Louis, May 17. Mr. : Please bring home my rol>e de nuit, and take away that horrid man’s night shirt you left. Marx C At this juncture the elderly lady makes vigorous preparations to swoon, and calls for her maid to bring her a fan and the smell ing bottle. Elderly lady to waiting'maid—“Mary Jane, can you read ?” “Yes’m.” pie now there to any other that can come, dhd while it admits that immigration is much needed to develop the vast resources of the State, it declares that whether it comes or not, it is certain North Carolina “will never pay a dollar of the fraudulent so-called obligations imposed upon her, except at the point of the bayonet.” The dread ordeal before a New Jersey can didate when he presents himself for examina tion at West Point, is thus set forth by the Hackensack Republican: “Then his eye-sight will be tested at near and far range, and for color blindness. Then he will be os culated (sic) to prove that he has no latent heart-dis ease. aud he will be percusstd to show that there is no tendency to lung complaint Then each joint and each bone will be reviewed, and he will not be passed unless he is found to be a perfect specimen of the human ani mal. ” Prince Edward’s Island has at length con sented to join the Dominion of Canada. The island is to have six representatives in the Canadian Parliament, besides supporting the expensive and useless machinery of local gov ernment. The colony held out* long agaiust the pressure for annexation, and it is under stood that some of the influences which proved so effective in Nova Scotia were brought to bear in Charlottetown. New foundland is still independent, but it is ex pected that she will soon follow the example of her sister island.