Newspaper Page Text
SECOND SECTION.
The Atlanta Georgian and News
SECOND SECTION.
VOL. V. NO. 207.
ATLANTA, GA., SATURDAY', MARCH 2.1W7.
THE HALL ROOM BOYS.
THEY DO IT ON S9.SO
Copyright, ItOT, bf Aatrtrao Jouraal-Kuatrr.
SAY ftRD, WHAT b THE MAirER wVlH SENDING.
JURSf iy^S A BUNCH Of PRETIT VAlENUNC 1
ESS O WHATAWAD WITH hi
_ _ JBTIESS C, whaTa* _
YfiSYE.WILL SEND US SOME OF
PENNY AFf AiRS. AND AS H r
The Industrious
Lawmaker.
By JAMES J. MONTAGUE.
^OW doth the buiy statesman
price: sr&ssisrafffc
Improve etch shining minute
J By opening the Treatury
And blowing *11 there’* in it.
—Old Song.
|F you fancy that * talesmen don’t work
for their pay—that their life it just
grand, iweat ioog;
If you think that they shirk
Every remblance of work,
j Your fancy'a remarkably wrong.
Of course, paltry thing* like the law*
people need
Said itatermen are likely to (light.
But you’ll ice them do biz
With a vim and a whiz
j When there'* money enough in *ight.
J UST whitper abroad through the
Capitol’* hall* that a meature’t
about to go through,
Providing for blowing the dear people'*
billion
fund* to the tune of
or two.
And the lawmaker* get
In a furious iweat
And a lather of laudable zeal
To see that each one.
When the dealing it done.
Get* an ace and five king* in the deal.
' I 'HERE’S never a loafer in Senate
* or House; all rwear that their j
work'* a delight.
The way they get busy
WouJfmaEeafrog dizzy
When there'* money enough in light.
The railroad* may ha*h up their pas
senger train*, and Congress make*
never a peep;
The trust* may take what
They believe they have got.
And the statesmen will placidly sleep.
R YAN and Belmont and genial
They Fall to See Where t.ie Joke Comes In.
John D. continue to slug and
to slam
The poof populace -j
In the usual place.
And the lawgivers don’t give a cent.
But plan an assault
On the Treatury vault.
And they’ll labor -from dawning till
night;
Till the busiest bee
Seems a sick thing to *ee.
He Discusses Snow Shovelling While His Wife Does the Work.
Indian Territory Condenses.
- — The new. of Coaweeeeoowet Coon** has
When there s money enough in sight. 1 '* Bo * ,r * ■“ D ” ,
Thickness.
Heuty of Toboggans. -
Ths devil Is nine mug by a
The Anti-Tipping Bill.
By JAMES J. MONTAGUE.
I.
L ONG live our gallant Congressmen, from Maine to Miuiuip,
Who set their stem right feet upon the taking of the tip.
The mileage graft they get themselves—viz., twenty cents per mile—
Which gives them rides in varnished can and takes them home in style.
Of course, it’s their great privilege; but they most sternly frown
On all the sinful perquisites the waiten would draw down.
II.
T HE Congressmen by right of might get discounts by the score
On everything they purchase in the House department store;
They frank their furniture and cows and laundry through the mail.
And no one darea their probity or motives to assail.
But let a wicked waiter gel a present of a dime.
And Congress rises up en masse to bring the wretch to time.
III.
T HE Congressman is privileged to sell his st6ck of seed
To any one who has the price to serve his present need;
With tense and tender gratitude his eyes are oft a-gleam
At some large testimonial of corporate esteem.
But, ah I He rises manfully and places his firm grip
Upon the sordid waiter who dares take a ten-cent tip.
IV.
D OWN' with the evil waiters who would take a recompense
For their devoted services of ten or twenty cents!
Our statesmen by example and by precept teach us all
To gather no gratuities if they, by chance, are small,
il waiters got a thousand bucks for all the hash they slung.
Their tipa would thrive, their praise survive on every statesmen's tongue.
This Wonderful Country.
In Millions of tons Iks eatlmsttd prndoe-
Ion of pis Iron list »iir la tb. Unlr.it
Htatot. German? *p4 Great Britain «at
?r». ll\ and I0\i respectively, aaye Messrs
W. Fallows * Co.’s annual circular, aa
compared with 4. 2|* and 1% In 1880.—
Loudon Pally Mall.
Him and Her.
A man from the country went to a Lone-
an worth hotel and when told that he must
register he wrota: "Myeelf and wife.**—
Kansas City Star.
Better Then Some.
Minsstos plr.ctor-W.il, sad whit .r. -
yonr nusinrsilon. for ths po.t of oigbt I»« ■ B< " h " ■»rs*l.-Marl. (.sroUI.
Breaking the News.
Re wet a young doctor, and he htd been
•eked to break aome aa.f newa to the wife
of a man who had been run over by a
motor.
"la my hatband really III?" asked the
lady.
"A—er—a Utile vno down." eaf.t the bud
ding phyetetan hopefully.—Evening Stand
ard.
MR. E. Z. MARK HAS HIS PRIDE AROUSED. -w**#**^
Comment. 1007. by AKtrieonJaanul BxubIiml
Man'* Greediness.
Man’e Inhumanity to women dates from
the Garden of F.den, when Eve merely
tasted the fruit, and at one* generously
handed It over to her apouse, who de
voured It to the oofc. and neter allowed 1
.itebman?
Applicant—Welt. sir. for one thing, the
least noise wakes ui* ap.-Bystander.
Lonely Boy of Letters.
Tb. Vct who Is fsue of fool illmtm
,. imr vsrr pepnlar «V k *“f see H
In R.pld R.vl.tt,
The World’s Lou.
A woman t.M on. day lo Whistler; "Pn
*00 think. Ur. Whl.tl.r, thnt trains ts
hereditary)'' “I enn'l tall fen. m.dsm."
Whlttlar replied. 1 Heir-n ht. lusic)
kte sat-AteMraa CMs.
i c Co sUipr'a*."—Kaetas tit* Tints. |
STRANGER.—Mr. Mark, I wish ts
shew you ths grsstest literary worka of the
eentury—THE POET*—In fifty volumes,
bound like tbit sample; price, for the tot,
one hundred and fifty dollars; cash or In-
ttalmonts.
MR. E. 2.—Ne. no. net I with none
ef yeur books, air.
STRANGER—Ah, will; that's just
whst your neighbor, Mr. Subbubs, slid when
he bought a set. Says he, “It's no use your
trying to sell a set to Mr. Mark; he Is too
moan, and bssldss I don't believe he can
afford to pay ona hundred and fifty dollara
ter books, ovsn In instalments."
MR. E. Z.—WHAT I He Slid that?
MEANI CAN'T afford lit I'll (how him.
Hero, put my name down for that set of
bookt.and here'* the one hundred and fifty—
epot cash, too. Give ms ■ receipt and tens
along your books. Can’t afford It, eh? Well,
now you mo what a prevaricator that min
MRS. MARK.—DON'T TELL MSf
AGAIN? You paid ona hundred and fifty
aredt
dollara for a tot of books to bo dsllvaredf
Subbubs vilified you? Said you couldn't
afford it? Why, you ninny, Mr. and Mre.
Subbubs left for Florida threa day^a^o.
1 saw them go.
DONE AGAINI
DONE AGAIN!
—i.i —-f —.l.