Newspaper Page Text
SECOND SECTION.
The Atlanta Georgian And News
V. NO. 207.
ATLANTA, GA„ SATURDAY, MARCH 2,1007.
THE HALL ROOM BOYS.
THEY DO IT ON £9.50 PER.
1907. to Aae’tcia Jaurt.il £aaa:att.
SAY Ft«0, WHAT s THE MATTEB VYlIH SENDING,
OURSELVES A BUNCH Of PRETTY VALENTINES?
doubtless c. whayawad with his usual Bad
TASTE . WILL SEND US SOME OF THOSE VULGAR
PENNY AFFAIRS. AND AS HE AND
HERE MACiNOVlA, WILL YOU POST THESE LETTERS
FOR US ?'WE RE SO BUSY WE HAVEN'T TIME TO
DO IT OURSELVES. CAN YOU READ MA.6N0LIA?r
NO ? MY' BUT IT S FIE ALLY DISGRAf
They Fail to See Where tie Joke Comes In,
The Anti-Tipping Bill.
By JAMES J. MONTAGUE.
I.
L ONG live our gallant Congressmen, from Maine to MUsisiip.
Who let their item right feet upon the taking of the tip.
The mileage graft they get themielvei—viz., twenty cenU per mile—
Which gives them ridei in-varnished can and takei them home in style.
Of coune, it’i their great privilege; but they most itemly frown
On all the sinful perquisites the waiten would draw down.
II.
T HE Congressmen by right of might,get discounts by the score
On everything they purchase in the House department store;
i hey frank their furniture and cows and laundry through the mail.
\tul no one dares their probity or motives to assail.
But let a wicked waiter get a present of a dime.
And Congress rises up en masse to bring the wretch to time.
III.
’T 1 HE Congressman is privileged to sell hia stock of seed
J To any one who has the price to serve his present need.
With tense and tender gratitude his eyes are oft a-gleam
At some large testimonial of cotporate esteem.
But. ah! He rises manfully and places his firm grip
k pon the sordid waiter who dares take a ten-cent tip.
IV.
D OWN with the evil waiters who would take a recompense
For their devoted services of ten or twenty cents!
'-ut statesmen by example and by precept teach us all
I o gather no gratuitiea if they, by chance, are small.
I waiters got a thousand bucks for all the hash they slung, ^
< heir tips would thrive, their praise survive on every statesman's tongue.
The Industrious
Lawmaker.
By JAMES J. MONTAGUE.
N OW doth the busy statesman
Improve each shining minute
By opening the Treasury
And blowing all there's in it.
—Old Hong.
I F you fancy that statesmen don't work
for their pay—that their life is just
grand, sweet song;
If you think that they shirk
Every semblance of Work. .
Your fancy's remarkably wrong. t
Of course, paltry things like thd' laws >
people need
Said statesmen are likely to slight.
But you'll see them do biz
With a vim and a whiz
When there's money enough in sight.
J UST whisper abroad through the
Capitol's halls that a measure's
about to go through.
Providing for blowing the dear people's
funds to the tune of a billion
or two.
And the lawmakers get
In a furious sweat
And a lather of laudable zeal
To see that each one.
When the dealing is done.
Gets an ace and five kings in the deal.
T HERE'S never a loafer in Senate
or Howe; all swear - that their'
work's a delight.
The way they get busy
Would make a frog dizzy
When there's money enough in sight.
The railroads may hash up their pas
senger trains, and Congress makes
never a peep;
The trusts may take what
They believe they have got.
And the statesmen will placidly sleep.
R YAN - and Belmont and genii!
John D. continue to slug and
to slam
The poor populace
In the usual place,
' And the lawgivers don't give a cent,
But plan an assault
On the Treasury vault,
•And they'll labor from dawning till
night;
Till the busiest bee
| Seems a sick thing to see.
When there's money enough in sight.
BRAGGO THE MONK?
Ofytoffat. 1907. tor Awd*lcaa-Jouiw*M«a»te#r.
He Discusses Snow Shovelling While His Wife Docs the Wort.
Indian Territory Condenses.
Th. natii. nt Tmommoowm Counts has
been chained to Roger*.—Kansu City
Journal.
Thickness.
Blood la
Uoeeraor of •
—Providenc#
Plenty of Toboggans.
Th. «rrfl la name trooNod by a oat
sMtssgs SDH
T
THE MAN—Don’t b. frlghtanad, llttla boy; thla dog "Glmm# «r bit. of d. apple. Fatty.”
won't bit. you I ''Why. Jimmy Brown, do you .uppo.e I'd bo 10 selfish
THE GIRL—Aw. ehsss yersalf; It ain't da dog ha's as to glvo you a bite, when I'm not going to glv. ovon
erf.ared of my own dear llttla alatar onif”
MR. E. Z. MARK HAS HIS PRIDE AROUSED.
CfMtrtt. I«?. Of ABMkOB-JOOfOl-
Thi» Wonderful Country.
million* of ton* tb* oattmatad prodo*
» «f plf troa last year la tb* United
riertnany and Or*«t Britain •••
and 10* WBpKtletly. M*aar*.
la.iow* A Co** annual elreolir, •*
' •.f'.red with 4. 2£"tnd lo 1S80.-
e^n Dally Mall,.
Him tnd Her.
A nr an from th# country w*nt to • !.***•
* *rth hot#l aud when told that b# mu«t
"*'a**r be wrota: "Myotlf and wlf*
F*3*.ii City Star.
Better Than Some.
Managing Dlr*etor-W*ll. and what Bf*
if vullflcatlooB for th* poat of ntgbt
ItfbWBD?
a rpltrant—>W*H. air. for on# thin*, tb#
»»»l ocl«# wakea m« ap.-Byataadtr.
Lonely Boy of Letten.
Tie Ut tU ta foot! of geoU
» n*v#r very popular with aay *=• but
fc.ai— Attbloea Globa. — -
Breaking the Newt.
He tea* a youac doctor, and he bad been
aaked to break tome aa l new# to tbe wife
of a man who bad been run over by a
met or.
•'la my hatband r»al!y III?” »*h*4 «h»
lady.
••A—#r-a little run down,” aal.l tbe bud
ding pbyaldan hopefully.-Ktenlag Stand
ard.
M»n'» Greedineti.
Man*e Inhutnanltr to woman date* from
tb* Garden of Kdea. when Eve merely
taite.l th# fruit and at cn~ generoualy
banded It ever tier apouae, who de
v. u r*d It t» tb. ore.
brr to art anoth.r m.ra.t -Marta Cort.ll
la Rapid Ra»t»w.
The World’s Lon
A woman aatd on* dor to Whistler: "Do 1
rn., think. Mr. Whl.t>r that f»nla. la
h.r.dltiryf "I «"•> f' !1 foo. m.dao.
YVkl.tlor t.p -O. ha. trautri
mt eo oZiptlt; -Kaosaa City Tlmra I.
STRANGER.—Mr. Mark, I with to
ahew you tho greateat literary works of the
century—THE POETS—In fifty volumot,
bound like thla tampla; prlct, for tho tat,
ona hundred and fifty dollar*; cash or In-
■talmonu.
MR. E. Z.—No. no, no! I wlah non*
of your books, air.
STRANGER—Ah, wall; that* Juat
what your neighbor, Mr. Subbuba, said whon
ho bought a sot. Sayo ha. "It's no us* your
trying to toll a sat to Mr. Mark; ho la too
moan, and bealdta I don't balltvo ho can
afford to pay ona hundred and fifty dollars
for boaka, evan in instalments."
MR. E. Z.—WHAT I Ha aald that?
MEANt CAN'T afford Itl I’ll show him.
Haro, put my name down for that att of
books,and here'* the one hundred and fifty—
epot cash, too. Glv* me a receipt tnd eono
along your book*. Can't afford it. ohf Well,
now you tea what a prevaricator that man
le.
MRS. MARK.—DON’T TILL Mil
AGAIN ? You paid on* hundred and fifty
dollar* for a att of books to bo dallvoradf
Subbuba vlllflad youf Said you couldn’t
afford Itf Why, you ninny. Mr. and Mr*.
Subbuba left for FloHda thro* day* an*.
I saw thorn go. DONE AQAINI E. 2.
DONE AGAINI