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.HE ATLANTA GEORGIAN. Atlanta Georgian. JOHN TEMPLE GRAVES, Editor. F. L. SEELY, President. J Telephone Connection*. Subscription Rates: l Year $4.50 I Six Months 2.50 (Three Month* 1.25 Ry Carrier, per week 10c Published Every Afternoon Except Sunday by THE GEORGIAN CO. *t 25 V. Alabama Street, Atlanta, G*. ered aa sersndrtaaa matter April 25, 1*0*, at Ik* Postnglc# »t Atlauta. Gs„ under act of congress of March 2. lfl*. helpless to catch the hem of Hast thou no friend to set thy mind abroach? Good sense will stagnate. Thoughts shut up want air, And spoil, like bales unopened to the sun. —Edward Young. We Know the Commercial Traveler. A correspondent among the traveling men writes to [ editor of The Georgian personally his thanks and ap- datlon for what he la pleased to term the ablest and conclusive editorial argument which has yet been niinle In favor of the demand! of the T. P. A. for the interchangeable mileage book good on all the railroads *>- of the state. jk We are pleased to receive this comment and we r ake hast# to explain that the one reason wo understand tills situation better than other people, and why we are more deeply In sympathy with the demand of ths travel- e: s than any other business outside their own, IS because the writer of that editorial has spent thirteen years of his lifo side by aids with the commercial, travelers iiimn the railroads of the country. For each of these thirteen years the editor of The Georgian as a lecturer, titveled thirty-five thousand miles every year, and dur- Ing this time his comrades, companions and friends of every Journey were the traveling men of the country, North sad South. We kndw thn trials and the diffi culties which beast this splendid and Indispensable call- lng. We know the discomforts and the Irregularities v.hlrh harass the lives of these faithful and diligent < t angels of trade. We realise the Impositions which are 11 practiced upon them by carelessness and Ignorance, and rn'inutlmea by tyranny and indifference. We know, too, I better than most men, from personal contact, the splen- ■ did average of character, Intelligence and patriotism t which jiermsates tbs rank of the traveling men of America, North and South. And heesuae we know these-things, and because ■ we know what public opinion and reasonable consid eration on the part of tho corporations hat given them lu other sections of tho country, ought to be theirs by rluht and by Justice In the South. Every demand of ths Georgia traveling men la res- amiable, founded upon good policy, and Is abundantly justified by the splendid patronage which they give. We feel sure that, when the great corporations, whom we dscllnw to believe either altogether selflih or Imllfrercnt, will conaldor the nature of the memorialists and the Justice of the appeal, the demand of the travelers, will be freely and cordially granted, to the profit of nil the parties concerned. "Whoever heard of any one dying of eating bad meat?" asks one of tho devll-flahei of tho beef trust. Why, stveral friends of the Burgla tamll; want that way, and it might even be possible to find more recent examples. New Blood in the Exposition. The reinforced exposition committee of fifty held an inspiring and vigorous meeting on Thursday afternoon. S The now men of tho committee came In with a life and vitality that simply warmed the feet and stiffened tin- backbones of the old warworn committee of twenty- flu', and the atmosphere eras speedily charged with life, linpi' and promise for tho exposition. Reinforcements have always been s Joyous event t<> an army under fire. It Stoessel could have had rein- fun ementd at Port Arthur that -fortress might yet hsvo In-lunged to Russia. The coming of Blucher saved the army of Wellington and turned the scale of battle at Waterloo. And the twenty-five vital Atlantans who trooped on Thin affay into the exposition committee have charged -t he w hole Atmosphere of uncertainty Into one of life {.ml militant hope. Aa one of the new members aptly put P. the exposition will succeed when we gd at It aa the politicians go at their canvass, by listing every available man. ascertaining his feelings pro and con to wn ul the exposition, and canvassing every avaliablo pocket Hint has not yet contributed to this splendid This la Just what the new committee will do In co- operatioa with the icnrrod and faithful veterans of the old e<.nmiittee. With Walter Cooper of the old commit tee ai.d Toni Martin of the new, with Bd Anslsy and Har ry Silverman, and Kelly, of Kelly Brothers, and Kretg- shatter and J, J. Goodrum, and Clarence Btosser and other members of the reinforcing troop bringing a flood of enthusiasm, and confidence, and tireless Industry to the work, there Is every reason to believe that the next thlttv days will do mighty things for the completion'of tin necessary guarantee and the starting of the exposi tion. Certainly It Is true that every man who was present ■t tho meeting of yesterday left the hall with an In- irt ua. il confidence and added Inspiration, and the new courage born of the vigorous and enthusiastic coopera tion which had Just come In. No Bust of Blaine in Maine. i The people of Maine are probably reflecting that , "The Caesar's pageant, shorn of Brutus' bust. Did but of Rome's best ion remind her more." At any rate some such sentiment la about the only (toon eolation they have for the fact thut there Is nowhere in tho state a monument to her most Illustrious son, .Ihiiios O. Blaine, and that oa the walla of the state cspl- tei which Is lined with portraits of so many of her dls- Ungulshed men, there Is not even a steel engraving of the plupied knight. Few men In the history of American politics ex perienced the Irony of fortune more keenly than James G. lilslne. To hav« been defeated for the prealdency by ii Ingle untimely phrase—“rum, Romanism and rebel lion"—as was undoubtedly true, and on other occasions "i have come so near the coveted goal without being {able to eater In, was gall and wormwood to his smbl- i). is heart. The policy of reciprocity which ho Inaugurated only limited recognition during his lllc-tlme. i saw himself outstripped at every turn by men of Inferior Intellect, and fortune's garment. He died a broken-hearted man. But one would think that when time and death bad placad hla life and work In proper perspective—when his faults had been forgotten and bis merits were moro fully recognised, the people of bis state would render a tardy Justice to bis memory In some fitting manner. The late Joe Manley ordered a bust of Blaine from a distinguished sculptor. Blaine's son »ay» It was not a good likeness, but the greet statesman's next-door neigh' bor says that It was excsllent. At any rate the legislature never made the appropriation to pay the sculptor for his work, and the other day he claimed It It was taken from Ita biding plsce, where It bad been for eight years, and sept back to him, so the last chance of having a fitting memorial of James G. Blaine In the state capital seems to be tost. We of the South need not concern ourselves about the matter very particularly, Blaine was a Repub lican at a time when the South felt particularly unkind toward the men of that political persuasion. But there is no discounting the fact .that he was a man of splendid Intellect and that his policy, of reciprocity, If carried to the extent he contemplated, would have been an epochal event In the history of the United States. Certainly he deserves some sort of recognition from bis native state, and the fete which baa befallen him 1* not much of an Inspiration to the rising generation of the Pine Tree State.* The first appearance of the sea serpent Is liable to pass unnoticed while everybody Is watching Upton Sin clair and the Spanish tpooner*. The Interrupted Festivities. It Is well for the credit of mankind and for the fu ture of civilisation that the attempt made on yesterday to assassinate the newly married king and queen of Spain was not successful- A wave of horror would have swept over the world ir In the hour of their exultation the young bride and groom had fallen a victim' to the bomb of an anarchlat Reformers everywhere are watching with Interest the struggles of the oppressed to supersede the rule of monarchy with the wiser and more enlightened policy of republicanism. This Is particularly true of Russia, but there, too, we find the most conduslvo Illustration of the folly of attempting to temper despotism with as sassination. There can be no doubt that It Is Inconsistent for the douma to expect absolute amnesty for political prisoners when every day brings a new Instance of as sassination; and until the people suspend this method of argument they cannot reasonably hope that any ruler, much less the autocrat of all the Russian, should feel In a mood to grant political absolution. The success of the anarchist plot on the young king and queen of Bpaln would have set back the progress of reform by twenty years, not to mention tbe Inhuman Ity and horror of the crime, per se. The fact that the young bride bean the name of Queen Victoria recalls tho colfiddence that the great English queen, her grandmother, was six times the In tended victim of madmen and fanatics who either sought to actually take her life or gain spectacular notoriety by pretending so to do. On June 10, 1840, Just four months after her mar riage to Prince Albert, ns she was riding down Constitu tion 1IIII, a youth by tbe name of Edward Oxford fired twice at tho royal pair with a pistol, though both shots went wild. Less than two years later, on the same spot, John Francis made a similar attempt Tho death sentence originally Imposed upon him was commuted to transportation and the next day a hunch back by the name of Bean presented s pistol In the face of the queen, but the weapon was wrested from him be fore be could fire. Again on Constitution Hill—for which her majesty must have felt some aversion by this time—a bricklayer by the. name of Hamilton fired point blank at tho queen, but It was afterwards discovered that the pistol was loaded only with powder. Twelve months later Robert Pate, a former lieuten ant of Hussars, struck tbe queen In the face with a stick os she was leaving the residence of the Duke of Cam bridge; and finally, on February 29, 1872, a lad of 17, named Arthur O'Connor, presented a pistol at the queen as she was entering Buckingham palace after a drive. He was evidently'another notoriety seeker, as It was discovered that the weapon was loaded with nothing more formidable than a greasy rag. It Is hoped that ths Queen Victoria of our day will not be subjected to any such series of attempts to take her life, tier distinguished grandmother lived to the ripe old age or 82, and It Is proverbially true that the threatened live long. The Vermont defendant In divorce proceedings Is charged with kissing the hired help In "the strawberry patch, the Ice-house, and even In the cow shed." But that's nothing. Wasn't there once an old woman who went so far ns to kiss the cow? Mr. Wu’s Retirement. Announcement Is made that that picturesque Celes tial, Wu Ting-fang, who waa for so long a time the representative of the Chinese empire In this country, has definitely decided to abandon his efforts to reform his country and will retire to private life. Wu has been In the public eye considerably of late. He wroto to some friends on this side a few weeks since to ssy that ne bad been converted to the simple life by the teachings of Mrs. J. B. Henderson, of Washington, and that henceforth and forever he would confine his beverage to weak tea and his diet to vegetables. This was by no means In keeping with the record of the versatile diplomat who could beat Americans at their own bibulous game, but at the same time It gave no In dication of the more surprising announcement that was to come. Wu liked the ltme-llght. He never declined Invita tions to make speeches or to appear In public If It wai possible for him to attend, and in point of fact be was a good fellow when he got there. He was highly educated, spoke faultless English and this, with bis keen sense of humor, made him popular wherever he went The Americans liked him. Down here In Georgia, where he came to make a speech, he made a distinct hit. True, he would ask embarrassing questions. Just aa old LI Hung Chang and all the. rest of his race used to do, but that was a small matter, and he passed current everywhere. He remained In this country quite long enough to tears a great deal about our manners and customs- He weut home determined to reform bis country, particu larly In the matter of Judicial procedure. He advocated our Jury system. But the Empress Dowager, who Is tbe whole thing In China, couldn't quite see the point, and the prosperous cttisena who only saw In the Jury system the necessity of bribing twelve men where they had previously hod to bribe only thn magistrate, could not nee the point either. Wu argued the matter as only ho could have dono it, but It did no good, and now we are told he has given up In disgust and will retire to private life. Ho Is moved to take this course chiefly by his wife, who Is a very accomplished woman. She urged that the wise man ought to know when to retire os well as when to take tho ttdo of fortune at' Its flood, and pointed out that he had worked long enough to entitle him to a good rest. Wit Anally came to agree with her, and as a con- icquence ho writes his American friends that he is going out to his country place, where he can meditate and lis ten to the birds sing and watch the flowers bloom. . All this Is very unfortunate. We had hoped that the time would come when China would see fit to send him back to us. We miss him every day, and It Is hoped that he may yet change his mind about leaving the trade of statesmanship forever. That's a fact; what has become of Perry Heath? A Memorial on King’s Mountain. Renewed attention It being called to the propriety of erecting a suitable monument on King's mountain to cele brate the decisive and crucial battle won there by the Amorlcan forces In October 1780. - An Impetus has been given to this movement by the recent celebration In Charlotte of tbe Mecklenburg Decla ration. Expert! will perhaps never be able to agree con clusively whether tbe Mecklenburg Declaration was a bona flde instrument, antedating tbe document drawn up by Thomas Jefferson, but there can be no possible ques tion of tbe momentous Importance of tbe battle of King's mountain and tho effect It had upon tbe disheartened continentals. / As the Rev. Dr. Gregory points out In an able article which we reproduce In another column today, the four year* of fighting bad won but little for tbe cause of American Independence. Those were days of gloom and depression. Cornwallis had won his great victory over Gates at Camden, S. C., and was beginning to cast covetous eyes toward North Carolina. He sent Major Ferguson on ahead to spy out the land before sending the main body of his army Into the enemy's country. Ferguson and his forces entrenched themselves on the top of King's mountain, which was accessible on but three sides. He thought he was secure. But the embattled farmers, who rallied almost without leader ship. were determined to do or die, and when they be gan ranking their ascent of the mountain on all three accessible sides at once, picking off the British soldiers whenever one came In sight, they went at their work with a vigor and deliberateness which nothing could withstand. It was one of tbe most complete victories In the his tory of American Independence nnd did much to turn the tide. It made easier the crowning victory over Cornwallis at Yorktown, and In a large measure Insurqd our Independence. It is entirely fitting that an appropriate monument should be erected on the mountain to commemorate this notable victory on the part of the unorganized conti nentals of the Carolines. It should be made one of tbe patriotic shrinea of our common country—an enduring tribute to tbe valor of the American patriot in the days which Indeed tried men's souls. • THIS DATE IN HISTORY. JUNE 1. 1205—Hertry Dandolo, Doge of Venice, * died. 1416—Jerome of Prague burnt at Con stance. 186&—Robert Cecil, earl of Ballsbtfty, minister to Elisabeth and James I, born. 1593—Christopher Marlow* dramatist and poet, died. 1850—Execution of Mary Dyer, a Quakeress, on Boston Common. 1789—Edward Holyoke, president of Harvard College, died. 1792—Kentucky admitted to the Union. 1794—Lord Howe defeated and almost destroyed the French fleet. 1796—Tennessee admitted to the Union. 1801—Embargo of Great Britain re moved. 1813—Bnttle between Shannon and Chesapeake off Massachusetts bay. 1831—Redfleld Proctor, U. S. senator from Vermont, bom. 1848—Pope Gregory XVI died. 1864—Grant repulsed by Lee at battle of Cold Harbor, Va. 1868—James Buchanan, fifteenth presi dent of United Statea, died; born April 23, 1791. 1875—Steamship Vicksburg sunk by an Iceburg off Cape Race; 65 lives loat. 1879—Prince Louie Napoleon killed by Zulus In Africa. 1885—Victor Hugo buried In the Pan theon at Faria. 1887—Island of Cyprus csdsd to Eng land. 1890—Francis Lowethrop, Inventor of railroad turn table, died. 1905—Lewie and Clark Exposition opened In Portland, Ore. GEORGIANS IN GOTHAM. By Private Leased Wire. New York, June 1.—Here are some of of the visitors In New York today: ATLANTA—Mrs. Q. Hamilton. AUGUSTA—L. C. Brown, J. F. Eck- aoff. MACON—C. H. Fuller. In Paris. By Private Leased Wire. Parle, France, June I.—Nlcholeon Moore, of Savannah, Oa.. registered at the office of European edition of The New York Herald today. The Georgian Best of All. To The Editor of The Georgian: After being a subscriber to another Atlanta paper for the past twelve or flfteen years, I have had to discontinue It >m account of Its being filled with politics on every page. Its brag, bluff and bluster Is simply disgusting to the average reader. 1 have been a sub scriber to your paper from nearly the first Issue, nnd I must say It is re freshing In these days of bulldnxlng politics to ace a newspaper as clean and ns full of news as an egg la of meat: Ita editorials are clear, whole- some and elevating and not filled with abuao of other papers or persons If they happen not to agree with them,- as some papers we know of. May you not only continue to give us the nicest, cleanest and best newspaper In the state, but that It may be In every borne In our fair, happy and prosperous country, and may indeed cover the land "like the sunshine." Yours, etc., S. C. CHARPNG. Barnesvllle, Ga.. May 10, 1906. "Georgians and Torreys Needed." Editor John Temple Graves, The At lanta (Usarglan: Allow me apace In your columns, first, to congratulate you and your splendid paper. oYur edi torials are worth more than the price we pay for the paper. If we had a Torrey and Alexander In ever}- city and town In the world for thirty days, Satan, with his Satanic majesty and power, wuuld be swept from his strong hold like a cyclone, and he and hla followers would be put out of business. With best wishes and success to your valuable paper. Yours respectfully. A. J. ADKINS. *2 Houston Street. Atlanta. Oa.. May 15. 1904. epitomized. The Mail Carriers’ Vacation.' We congratulate tho mall carriers upon the well deserved holiday granted them by the postal depart ment Tho conceaalon Is well won by their faithful service, and will doubtless be vindicated In the greater rigor and freshness which those excellent public servants bring to their work when vacation merges again Into duty. Every human being Is better for a little rest, and every class of workers Is refreshed by recreation. "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” and we are sure that all classes of our population will be glad for any pleasure or benefit that comes to this -faithful and amiable band of government employees. Heard on the Corner Nooks and Corners of American History THE BATTLE OF KING’S MOUNTAIN By REV. THOMAS B. GREGORY. r N the struggle for our American I Independence of Great Britain ‘ there was no darker period than the summer and fall of tho year 1710. It waa a season of disaster and gloom, of utter weariness and depres sion. After more than four yeara of hard lighting the hope of victory seemed less than ever. The British arms had triumphed In South Carolina and Georgia and ths prospects tor the Independence of the colonies looked slim Indeed. There was no strong general gov ernment. Where such government should have been there was a some thing that seemed to work nothing but chaos and confusion. The finances were In a deplorable state. “Not worth a continental," was the way the patriots expressed the Ut tar worthlessness of the money of con gress. The army was small. Ill fed, poorly armed and clothed, and wise heads knew perfectly well that of such badly equipped and dispirited Instrument great results were not In the nature of things to bs expected. "We have the Americans at our feet!" said Horace Walpole to the courtiers about tbs throne; and even old King George was seen to chuckle os he heard of the disparate straits to which the Americans were reduced. Right on the bock of this wide spread depression come the defection and treachery of Benedict Arnold, which made the people feel that even their high officers were not to be trusted, and that. Washington aside, there waa no one In whom they could place Implicit confidence. This terrible gloom was lifted by the battle of King's Mountain. Cornwallis, after his great victory over Gates at Camden, R. C., cast his eyes over toward North Carolina. Be fore starting out for that stats with his main army, he sent Major Fergu son on ahead with two hundred regu lars and one thousand well-drilled Tory militia. Ferguson had no sooner crossed ths North Carolina border when he found out that his march through the Tar Heel state was going to be anything but a picnic. The news of the Brltleh Invasion spread far and wide and the patriotic backwoodsmen began to assemble from every point of the compass. From Virginia, frojp Tennessee, from North Carolina the farmers, hunters and trappers gathered to harass the lieutenant of the hated Cornwallis. Pretty soon Ferguson made up his mind that Instead of conquering North Carolina he would be mighty lucky If he got back to Cornwallis alive. Hard pressed by the patriots, who, without order or suggestion from any source, had gathered for the fight, Fer guson threw his force of 1,200 men upon the top of King's Mountain, a ridge about half a mile long, ap proached on three sides by rising ground, the other being an unbroken precipice, too steep for ascent. Finding himself fairly fixed upon this mountain stronghold, the British commander cried out In great glee to hla men, “Boys! there ain't rebels enough outside of hell to drive ua from this place!" / In the meantime the rebels were preparing to do what he said they could not do. It was about 3 o’clock of the after noon of October 7, 1750, when the Americans reached the ravine below the mountain. .Tying their horses and dividing their force of one thousand men Into three equal parts, they began ascending the three sides of the moun tain simultaneously. There was no shouting or yelling. It was a quiet, resolute, determined band that was marching up those rocky slopes. They were there not to make a great noise, but to kill Britishers—so soon as they should get the sight of thsm. And presently they did get sight of them—and the rifles of the patriot hunters and farmers seldom cracked In vain! The British charged again and again, but the backwoodsmen took to the trunk* of the trees until tbe enemy's ranks were broken by the Irregularities of the ground, when they would begin picking them off again. Fired on from all sides, by men who seldom fired amiss, their leader killed, their discipline of no avail against the strange tactics of ths .rebels, the Brit ish hoisted the white flag. Of the British, 389 were killed or wounded and the remaining 718 sur rendered, with 1,500 stand of arms. The American loss was only 28 killed and 10 wounded. This battle, of which far too little mention Is made In our histories, was the beginning of the end of British misrule In America. It Inspired patriots everywhere with the spirit of confidence and paved the way for the eerlee of victories that led to the crowning triumph at York town. The whole nation should Join In building a mighty monument upon the granite summit of the Carolina moun tains, for there, on that brown October day, one hundred and twenty-six years ego, the Southern farmers won the vic tory without which the United States might never have existed. >■ the mlllt . ...mma . Must thoroughly •» Pasteurised: And If from fond we teota to shrink Oar fare must then be ;te,»«dted. Aw lads our young sad tender brains Must properly lx* nsMM: Then lu "itr simile* we shew tains If l.y dnw methods galvanised. Is Imalneas we may sueeeed. And then onr line Is Morgnnl/ed. Whereat the chsucew are. Indeed. That we will soou he Hteffeuslsed. »[ lose ■ nw; lie Tsrlieltlud. e* tduut nnd brt completely law so.ii.-rd. cannot he disguised. And almost every day we're t.dd That new we mast I- 0«Vdi -4. W. D. Ncsidt Iw Life. V SUM SPENT BY BRITISH ROYALTY MAY BE CUT BY PARLIAMENT; KING’S “PAY” AMOUNTS TO $?55,000 By PAUL LAMBETH. Special Cable—Copyright. London, June 1. The exact annual cost of the royal family to England Is rarely definitely known. It has been estimated ordinarily to be 87,(00,000— a sum which, as an American diplomat once said. Is not excessive, considering the fact that the average American multl-mllllonaire, aided by hla lawyer* succeeds In swindling the public treas ury out of that much each year. The present radical parliament la go ing to study the appropriations for the maintenance of royalty more closely than the preceding Tory parliament. It la quite possible the radicals will Insist that ths expense of the main tenance of royalty, direct or Indirect, should be kept In a separate account, so that the public may be able to tell at a glance precisely whst It Is. Monsy Spent by King. It Is said the king's private purse, which Is really the majesty's salary. Is 8555,000 a year, out of which his ma jesty allows the queen 8145,000. This salary, however, is not all his majsuty derives from the English peoplt. The following annual revenue of the king la admitted by public officials: Privy purso, 8(55,000. King's personal staff, 8(8,500. Lord steward's department, 1(90,000. Lord Chamberlain's department, 8(47,(00. Master of horse department, 3370.- 0*0. Transfer tor vote tor royal palace* 850,000. Mistress of robes department, 338,- 8(0, Royal bounty, 345,000, Alms and charities, 322,009. Unappropriated, 340,050. Total. 32.815.700. Ruler Gets Hugo Rsntst* The king also derives huge rentals from bis various estate* From the Duchy of Lancaster he gets 8300.000: the Sandringham estate yields 338,000; London rents amount to 81,110,000 and 32,055 from the new forest. Various other sums are drawn from the treas ury for the royal palace end parks and salaries for numerous royal appoint ments. The Item of 3(35,000 appeared In the latest list for the new royal yacht. -The following members of the royal family draw salaries amounting to 3895,000; ' Prince of Wales, 3100,000; Duchy of Cornwall revenue (to Prince of Wales). 8300.000. Princess of Wales, 350,000; king's three daughter* 390,*00; Duke of Con naught. 3125,000; Princess Christian. (30.000: Duchoss of Argyl* 330, coo Princess Henry, of Battenberg, 330,- 000: Duchess of Albany, 330,000; Duke of Cambridge, 840,000; Duchess of UecMemburg-Strellts, 313,000. Total, With various other Item* such oa homage money. 33,075 and royal post groat* end white rent* (11,100. the as certained total of the public money spent on royalty yearly Is tha very . one Qt 11 plus 12 equal 23. A moonlight night on Peachtree street A roomy pwh. a swinging seat; ' Two forms behind the 'suckle vine An arm that 'round n waist did twine- 'TIs late, the night sounds murmur low ivt -tin ths vetoes onward go, ' With bass profound and silvery gixele While up above the scat chains wise]*' SwIR fly the hours on love's young Time bothers not these sweet young things, • On love and bliss, on hug and kiss Intent. “O daughter dear," a voice came down- (It seetnd as though the voice did frown) "It’s 13 o'clock right now, you know "I think to bed you ought to go." Then growled the youth with nerve sublime, “It’s only 'leven by my time.” Eftsoons, swift from the seat he flew Impelled by father's footless shoe Cried pa, "That sounds quite late to me. "Eleven and twelve are ‘twenty three!"' "Heraus for you! Vamoose! Sklddol* HE WENT. —W. w. Mack. Hell on Fits. As the patient's condition was seri ous and no reputable physicist? was Imrpedlately available, th* family sent for a quack In the neighborhood. Looking very knowingly the quack gazed upon the suffering one for a long tlmo before giving his opinion. Then It was: "Fom what I c'n toe, this teller’s In a bad fix. The thing for me to do Is to throw the patient Into a fit." "A fit!” exclaimed the horrified fam ily, "why should you want to do that?'* "Well," was tho reply, "I ain't much on other diseases, but I am hell on tits." Stage Fright Very few persons acquit themselves nobly In their first spesch. At a wed ding feast recently, says a writer in The Philadelphia Public Ledger, ths bridegroom was called upon, as usual, to respond to the given toast, In spite of tho fact that ho had previously pleaded to be excused. Blushing to the roots of his hair, ho rose to his feet. He Intended to Imply that ha waa unprepared for speech- making, but he unfortunately placed his hand upon the bride's shoulder, nnd looking down at her as he stammered out hla opening and concluding words: "This—er—thing has been forced upon me." Object of Curiosity. A stranger from Griffin was stand ing on the corner of Houston and Peachtree streets watching a crowd of men and boys running hurriedly up the street toward the Aragon. "What- are all these people running about? Is there a Are or riot some where, or have they at last got dark Howell and Hoke Smith together in a Joint debater “No, It's merely Rube Zellar, the pitcher on Atlanta's baseball team, waiting In front of the hotel for a street car," replied th* hardened At lantan. A Shocking 8tory. The other day a change was made In one of the Whitehall street soda fountain* tome of the old parapher nalia being replaced by new. In the work an electric wire was left ex posed. Aa soon ay things were.put In shape the soda Jerker reached over to .tom on a little strawberry, arid as he touched the spixel he gave a yell and dropped the glass. " 'Lectrlc shock," he explained to lb# astounded customer. Then he reached down under the counter to get another glass, touched the brass work, gave another' yell, which was mingled with the. craeh ot breaking glass. - Before he could get another glass somebody paid a nickel and the Jerker turned to put It In the cash register. When he touched the key he again howled and dropped the nickel. Then he put on his coat and quit his Job. To Please th* Girls. . would please a This law: Whatever Listen to all that sha may say, Say nothing she must listen t* That's Talking Some. A well-known Atlanta minister tell* an amusing story of an Atlantan who has a wife with a sharp tongue. "Jones” had come home about two In the morning, rather the worse for a few highballs. As soon as ht opened the door his wife, who was waiting for him In the accustomed place at the top of the stairs, where she could watch nis uncertain ascent, started upbraiding him tor hla conduct. Jonea went to bed, and when he was almost asleep could hear her still scold ing him unmercifully. He dropped off to sleep and awoke after a couple of hour* only to hear hla wife remark: "I hope all the women don t have to put up tvllh such conduct as this. "Annie," eald Jones, "are you talking again or yet?" He Met the Girl. A medical student told this one: "I had an engagement with a youn« lady to take In Ponce DeLeon Wed nesday night, and waa detained at the Grady hospital until quite late, bs*I»i- Ing In an operation. I wo* Just lea' - Ing the operating room when the house physician called to me and Informed me that he had another operation to per form before I could go. I went to th* telephone to notify the young lady that I would be late. I could not get the connection, so returned to the op-rat- Ing room, where the patient hxJ b«e» given an anesthetic. Aa I walkel I" ® the room the physician removed the cone and—revealed the face ot J' 1 " young woman with whom I ban JJJ engagement. She hal l*en auiHrtily stricken with appendicitis. The sh*'k waa great, but the opwatlou » u * success." Crack Shot* Three old hunters were speaking the distance-shooting of modern rotes in the hotel lobby Thursday niff , when they brought up recollections °r the old gun* they used to have »nen they were boys. _ , H The first man told how he had often broken the old school house window* from the creek a half mile away. the second told of shooting duck from one county to another. Calmly • , PFJ55 his favorite beverage, th# last man tod how, up In Tennessee, he had rubbed salt on top of the bullet* to presci"' the game until he reached IL The firs' two men gave In. Kind Words Will Never Di* Some on# in the crowd mentioned a name, and tha lawyer threw up hands with a gesture of mingled dt« gust and repugnance: . .« "That wart on the face of nature ne sputtered. "B-r-r-r! Ht» ?°' c * would make Rameoes rise out of mj tomb, and become a hysterical woman. He Is the highest class lice In the uni Ami his voice trailed off Into Inert]®* date Imnre, att ins from sheer feeling.