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THE SOUTHERN WORLD, DECEMBER 1, 1882,
47
*
Instructing tbe Stranger.
In the smoking room of the sleep!ng coach
of Tuesday’s overland train, the conversation
turned on fleas. There was an Englishman
there. He was so fresh that he looked as if
he had just been picked. He said:
“What are these fleas they have in Cali*
fornia?’’
It was so good a chance that all the Cali
fornians looked at each other. Nobody
wanted to pick it up without deliberation,
and there was silence for sixty entire sec
onds. Then a 49er who used to go swim
ming on Montgomery street, took his cigar
out of his mouth, and everybody waited with
concealed anxiety.
“Their bite is not fatal except in the fall,”
he said, with appropriate solemnity, “ and
even then there is no trouble about it if you
attend to it in time.”
“But how do you protect yourself ? I un
derstand the blarsted insects are numerous,
you know ?”
“Dogs. Plain, simple yellow dogs,” the
pioneer answered. “Yon see, there’s a nat
ural affinity between a flea and a dog, and
if a flea is wandering around loose and sees a
dog, be can’t help going right up to him and
riding him. Whenever we get a room in
which we find fleas sing we just put a dog in
the center and wait. In less than five min
utes you will see every flea in the room hop
ping towards him and getting upon bis back.
Why, I've seen a dog get so full of fleas in
five minutes that they couldn’t get a foot
hold. They’d slip off as he walked and have
to help hold each other on. In that case you
have to pop’em over with a parlor rifle.”
“But it’s hard on the blarsted dogs, you
know, isn’t it?”
“Oh no. They’re trained up to it. Be
sides, it’s very easy to clean ’em off a dog,”
“How?”
“Just wait till he’s charged and put him
in a tub of water, leading his head out. All
the fleas will slide right up and roost between
his ears. When you’ve counted and seen
they’re all on his head just cut the head off
and throw it away, and ”
There was a wild, unearthly yell that shat
tered the windows and tore the roof from its
fastening, but the Englishman did not
laugh. He did not even smile. He went
out on the platform at Reno, and offered
fabulous money for a yellow dog.—The Wasp.
and then wiping them in an off hand man
ner on the table cloth. Then I asked the
servant to bring in that dark hen we order
ed, so that we might have an abundance of
dark meat. If the servant says there is none,
I smile and tell the guests that the brunette
chicken, by some oversight, has been eaten
in tbe kitchen, and I shall have to give them
such relics as may be at hand. This sim
plifies the matter, and places me in a far
more agreeable place relative to the com
pany. My great success, however, in carv
ing is mainly confined to the watermelon.
The watermelon does not confuse me. I al
ways know where to find the joints, and
those who do not like the inside of the mel
on can have the outside. Now, my great
trouble, with fowls is, that one day I have
Nebraska chicken and the next trip I have to
assassinate a Mormon Shanghai pullet, with
expressive hip-bones and amalgam paletot.
This makes me nervous, because they are so
dissimilar and their joints are in different
places. The Mormon hen is round-shoul
dered and her collar bone is more on tbe
bias than the Nebraska fowl. This gives a
totally different expression to her features
in death, and, as I have said, destroys the
symmetry of thecarve.
I began my education in this line by carv
ing butter in hot weather, and gradually led
up to the quail on toast. In carving the
quail, first mortgage your home and get the
quail. The quail should be cooked before
carving, but not until the chronometer bal
ance and other organs have been removed.
Place your quail on r the toast in a sitting po
sition, then passing the dissecting knife down
between the shoulder blades, dissect the po
lonaise.
Another method is to take the quail by the
bind leg and eat it, asking the guests to do
the same. This breaks up the feeling of
stiffness that is apt to prevail at a formal
dinner party, and while each one has his or
her nose immersed in quail, good feelings
cannot fail to show itself.—Bill Nye.
Leading Numbers: 14, 048,130, 333, 161.
A Soliloquy on Curving.
Speaking about carving, there is a prospect
now that in our best circles, within a short
time, the old custom of making the host de
molish the kiln-dried poultry at dinner will
*become extinct, and that a servant at a side
hoard, on a small salary will take a hand
saw and a can of nitroglycerine and shatter
the remains, thus giving the host a chance
to chat with his guests instead of spattering
-them with dressing and casting gloom and
gravy over the company.
This is a move for which I have long con
tended. It places the manual labor of a
dinner where it belongs, and relieves a man
who should give his whole attention to the
entertainment of his friends at the table.
You would notexpect your host totakeoffhis
coe.t and kill the’fowl in your presence in
order to show you that it was all on the
square, and it is not customary to require
the proprietor of the house to peel the pota
toes at the table for his guests to prove that
there is no put-up job about it.
Therefore I claim that the lamented hen
may be thoroughly shattered at a side table
by an athlete at four dollars per week, and
still good faith toward the guests be main
tained. If any one be doubtful or suspicious,
etiquette will permit him to stand by the
side of the hireling carver and witness the
inquest. Still it would be better fun for
him to sit at the table, and if the parts given
him are not satisfactory, he can put them in
his over-shoes pro tern, and casually throw
them out the back door whil. the other
guests are listening to the “Maidltm’s Prayer”
in the parlor.
Under the new deal the host will enjoy the
dinner much more than he used to with his
thumb cut off and a quart of dressing in his
s lap. No man feels perfectly at home if he
has to wrap up his cut finger in a rag and
then scoop a handful of dressing out of his
vest pocket and return it to the platter. Few
men are cool enough to do this, laughing
heartily all the time and telling some mirth-
provoking anecdote meantime.
It is also annoying to have twenty guests
ask for the “dark meat please,”. when there
are only three animals cooked and neither
one of them had a particle of dark meat
about her person. Lately I have adopted
the plan of segregating the fowl by main
strength, using the fingers when necessary,
For Sale by all Stationers.
THE ESTERBROOK STEEL PEN CO., 1
■Works, Camden, N. J. 26 John St., New York.
LILIPUTIAN BAZAAR.
EVERY CHILD
should wear our
“ Perfect” Waist*.
They support tho
clothing directly
from tbe shoulders,
and far surpass all
others tn comfort,
perfection in fit
and beauty of
shape. We fur
nish everything for
children's wear.
cfliiurcn • mur,
HI if I Hors’, Girls’ and
11 HIU Babies' Clothing,
Including every ar
ticle required for
complete outfits for
nil ages up to 18
years. Better stiles
better nisde, belter
flttlng.thancanbo
‘ ib
had elsewhere, and
„ _ lower prices. Mail
trdere have careful attention. Catalogues freo.
JEST £ GO a Bet-5th & 6th Avis! H» Yi
Baax Uobss on Stum rowan-
WELL AUGER AND DRILLS.
Ruit's Eagle Machine, complete,
with horao-power, MO lb. drill, two
A-inch Z bit*, and 2U0 ft. ropo, $450.
ry machine guaranteed, and
men sent to set up and test
before payment. fciTOrdor
machines direct, or fend for
circulars. Mention tkitpuper.
0. RUST, St Joseph, Mo.
UWI.UJVO eum VUSUW SUU
nd three So. stamp, for Treat-
Erenr page a Jewel of hope.-
r. CLEGG, Cleveland, O.
THE MILLER CO.
Manufacturers of
TUB TOBBBNT AMO UNIQUE IN-
DXPBNDKNT BOILKB FEED
STEAM PUMPS,
CANTON, OHIO.
for Farm and Traction Engln
Also make a epcclnlty of
kinds of caaUngs. Send to
1883 Catalogue.
Development of Southern Industries!
NEW DRES8.
NEW WRITERS,
NEW ARTISTS.
PULL of NEW LIFE
AND VIOOR FOR
1883.
AGRICULTURIST
ttSTTHE CHEAPEST JOURNAL IN THE WORLDS
It exposes nil nnmbagg. It Instructs nnd entertains every member of tho family.
It Is a complcto galdo for Gardening and Fruit Growing, and full
of Valuable Hints on Cotton and Hugar Culture.
.of South Carotins,
1 Dr. D. K. SALMON, engaged by tho Government in the inertisation of Important —terimmrv
subjects In tho Southern States, who will contribute tho results of tbor experience and reaearchea.
Members of tho Edit; ---------
States, gath-ring value!
gentlemen Interested In tbe dtsshp.
ns to add these new f
A in i
of Southern Fruits and Vegetables for Northern marl
Senators LAMAR (Mira.) andGORDON (Go.) —
turn of Unihern indtairin, who havo called npoo us, have li . , __
which will hereafter make the Amuuoah AouicuLTumrr Invaluable in every Souther)
nearly 100 oolumnsot original matter and from M to 75 original Illustrations In every numl
ItTScnd stnmp for December Issue—TUB GREAT NUMBER FOR THE SOUTII.
ttr GERMAN AGRICULTURIST, tho only purely German Agricultural Journal In thoU.&
a; I ooptea (8.00; post-free. Every
a perfoct rlato copy of Durax's last greet pointing
h Is valued ot 85,000, nnd l« pronounced by Causes
Aon, so well is a gnat educator.
_ J5R receives i_
"IN THE MEADGW^Aho original of which L ...
and other leading artists aa a beautiful picture, a
Elegant premium list with gnat Inducements forcluba sent freo on application.
ORANGE JUDD CO.. No. 751 Broadway, Now York.
PIV VALUABLE PRE-
THE PRICE OF ONE, AND OlA MIUMS FREE!
TWO PAPERS 0liE YEAR F0R
'TUBmM litkii iv’• IIP!I1
1L?S-iLii;-; > .i-iiin. I ^ [lcr <c ‘ o / T " ,r,m ' KkT,,!,T "“ »«*«*'«atono*euiii,„Jioth
“The Cricket on the Hearth »ml Cotta** and Farm
for One Y ear* and we tHU alto eend, Free and Ami-Arid,
Mx Yiilnn!.h« iiml I acini Premium*, «i* MW*;
1- r.li cunt Photograph Album, llouml In Velvet.
I This album is bound in Jins volvci. nu t has mi rh-evnt Moral
h design workrl in silk ujhui one of lltr covers. It holds full-
already mammoth circulation*, wo now make the following
Grand 8|>c<'l«M>n’cr to New Subacrlber*: Vpon receipt
book. 2. Gentleman** Fob Chain. The prevailing
fashion In gentlemen'* watch chalna I* the fob. The one w«
offer I* composed or a handsome black silk ribbon, with gold,
plated trimmings and ornamentation*. It 1* something that
ewjr gentleman should have. 3. Keif-Winding Tape
Measure. Kverybody knows what a tape meaaureli
llrantlful Imitation Colored Porcelain Pin.
tlfully colorr
anch. and Is Terr stylish and handsome. There Is nothing about it to tarnish, and It will wear for years, ft.
rr Kina. This ring is soluble for lady or gentleman. Ills made ofcanielUn. and has gold-plated top and namt
landtome, and there is nothing about it to tarnish or wear out. 6. Pocket Map of the llnlted Htatca s
and branch.:
very^jandsoro?,* and* there*!* nothing about It to urn I ah or wear oat. ft. Pocket Mmpot the X’nlted Ht **^*J*^*
dar tor 1HH8. A oorrect and finely ooiored reaper the w hois United States, sod a Calendar tbe IW3. A veer useful article to carry
In the pocket, and valuable for reference. Remember, upon receipt of only one dol.ar we willi send both The Cuckbt on tmi Hearth
and Corraoa and Kan* for on* year, likewise all the premlom*, si* In number, above described. These premiums are all artlc ea of
genuine merit, valuable and useful—we offer nothing cheap or worthless. Th« Catcurr on tun Hbanth Is a large Ift-page, fttcolumn
paper, handsomely printed, profusely Illustrated, and Ailed with charming 8erlal and Short Stories, Sketches, poems, Iteful Koowl*
edge, Reading for the Young, Wit and Humor, etc. Correas and Kan* contains eight Urge pages, and la' demoted to Agriculture,
Horticulture, Hints for Housekeepers, Ladles' Pancy Work, and other practical subjects, and Is likewise beautiAillv illustrated. Thesa
two papers furnish amusement, entertainment and Instruction for the whole fanHIjr. They are Just what is needed in every household.
We whs this unprecedented offer In order to secure new subscribers tor IWO. Will you not take advantage of lit It Is certainly the
greatest bargain ever ottered, and such an opportunity may not eoon occur again. The six premium* will make elegant Christtnaa
presents, while tbe paper* will delight you tor a year to come. A dollar her* Invested will be wisely spent. Ns guarani,, ptr/tet *<if.
i,/action or will cheerfully refund the money. Being an old-established and well-known home, we cannot afford to misrepresent our
goods or publications, or offer more than we can faithfully carry out. t ^ n L u, « V ".T y »° U m p * lr » • Mh *‘*!r‘*oe
S-th# two pap*-- with the premiums, free/ Write to dapt Address,g. H. MOOUK, Publisher. 8 Park Platt*. New V or
Moat Exioiislvo Pnithbrcd Live Slock
Katnbl (aliment In (he Worltl.
CLYDESDALE HORSES,
PERCHERON-NORMAN HORSES,
TrottinK-ltrc«l Roadsters, Holstein
ttml Devon Cattle.
Our cuatonieni have the advantage of our many
f enm’ expvrlvnce In breeding and Importing
ante rallretlona, opportunity of eoiitpnrltit;
dtfftrvnt breed*, ton- prlee. becauao ol extent
ar bnaliieu and Inn rate ot transportation. Cat
alogue free. Correjjantdeuce JoHcBed.,^
SprliiBboro, Crawford C'o„ Pa.
Mention South BUN Would.
I LOOK! LOOK!
I W* call tha attention of Agents, Housekeepers, end
I all in need of a Good Spoon to our new
[Silver Steel Spoons!
1 "hfr or. an artlcl. tha, agint. can rain moan
jeaetsA pO -i®™?
covered metal known aa ^platlnide, whkhso
Hly resemble* silver as to baffle some of the best
Igas. Theta spoons are warranted not to tarnish or
n color, and to always look as well as coin silver,
I and wear much better than ordinary plated goods cost-
fl log six time* tha price. Wishing to pkuw sample* in
I every house In the land, w* have put the price way
I down. I sample set ot fi Teatpoonft, by mall, poeft-
I paid, 24c.; a •ample sets, $|.00,
| v, wia
| S <X)„ P. 0. BOX 8830, B08T0H, MISS.
FAMOUS S5.WATCHES
weed.) ar* mad* o f the a
•f the best Americas Lever PatUm,
liable, aad have tbe
mat I registered
rkraa Lever PatUm. Theyaredurableandre-
r tbe appearance ofa 92^0 gold watch. Beatty
aa rewipt ef|5 aad ft three eeat sump*. Ad-
I JKWKLRY CO. Importer*. SI Arcade, Ola-
M
Artificial Limbs.
Prices greatly reduced. Satisfaction guaranteed.
U. S. Soldiers furnished on Government orders.
Address. B. MATTHEWS.
Cor, 4th Avc. and Market Sl, Louisville, Ky.
Advcrtbcmentl
Splendid
imekeeper.
In order to advartisn HOV8E AND HOME, aad sec*re tub-
scribm promptly, we have decided to make the following most
princely and magnificent offer to each and every reader of this
paper: It Is the common prnetlce of the gold and silver refiner*
of England and bwitserl md to purchss* from the p«wubrokers of
their respective c nintriet all the peld and silver weUbcswIiUk
hive been unredeemed, s'tnply (oe Ike sate of the gold end silver
cases. Tho works ar* then s-’.d to a celebrated watch firm who
havemedeasprchltv o this busiaeai. 1 his Irm places the works
In the hand* of skilful workmen, who set lo work aud put thorn la
M good conditio* as )*os lb!*. Three works embrace every variety
o> movemtn ',soir* of them being very flue aad reflect timekeepers.
IPs haoejnet / ureiated tie entire 0tH‘) of a banhruptcoa-
cemofthe above described watches it less than lb* lint cost of
lbs raw mvlerisl.
On receipt of |I.W> the su’iicrlpilon price of IIOU8K AND
HOME, sad $1 to extra to pey tor packing, poeUg*, snd register-
Ing.wewl.lsendllOU^B A YI> HO.MK/or on* y*»r (5* aamhers)
and one of these wetche*.;«*(paid,l4 anva-ldr*e« in the Ualud
State*. Watcbci mailed tho day t he order is received. Thewaickoa
were purr bee d specially to go with IIOll.^K AND HOME, aad
will bo farnhhed on'y to the subscribers to that publication, la
order to Introduce U at once w* make this unusual offer, which
coaid not hi made were it not tor the fact that we bought the
w tehee at one-ouarter coat of manufacture.
On receiptor Vi cents ctra we will Lend cur new and elegsat
watch ehsln with a vvhUtlc charm sail deg call attach-
an*nt—Just the thing lor hunters aad sporting nun.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED.
Re member, say one sending us mosey for 1IOU8K AN D HOME
oe th» above offer, who e^n Lmttllp **y tl^.t theyaro sol satlsied
with thalr bargain, can bav* their money cbeeriully reloaded.
Address METKOPOLITAN ITBLIMHNG CO.,
•ft* llroailwaj. New York City, S. Y.
uewapsper, l« oao or the be»tai*«l maatclceiuitly It.
laatratom weekly wew*»aiH'r«ur the duy, lullofN ewa.
Art, Nclcnce, rs*fcl«, Mt»lc* Poetry, Charailaw
Morice, Wit and Humor, leetol knowledge, nnd
AjMsemeat fop oveir American
tectorial history of tho world IVo
right bcautininy .tllaatratcd Jga
Uurpwr'a or J
the world IVom week i
lluatritlcd page*—«umi
i illustrated wcchlka.