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THE SOUTHERN WORLD, MAY 1,1885.
‘ 203
Humorous.
TWIN PUNS.
Departing, I had olaip'd a curl,
That o’er her brow d'd hang;
"She, amillngly said, “You’re like a gun,
You go off with a ‘bang.’ ”
At which I preased h»r lips, and cried;
"For punning you’ve a knack;
But now I’m like a fisherman—
I go off with aimack.’ ”
—Wilmington Star.
Fun In Farming.
Agriculture has a charm about it
which I cannot adequately describe.
Every product of the iarm is furnished
by nature with something that loves it,
so that it will never be neglected. The
grain crop is loved by the weevil, the
Hessian fly and the chinch-bug; the
watermelon, the squash and the cucum
ber are loved by the squash-bug; the
potato is loved by the potato-bug; the
sweet corn is loved by the ant, thou
sluggard; the tomato is loved by the
cut-worm; the plum is loved by the
curculio, and so forth, and so forth, so
that no .plant that grows need be a wall
flower (even carp is loved by the carp
ing frog and hen fruit by the succulent
hound).
I began early to spade up my angle
worms and other pets to see if they had
withstood the Bevere winter. I found
they had. They were usually bright
and cheerful. The potato-bugs were a
little sluggish at first, but as the spring
opened and the ground warmed up they
pitched right in and did first-rate.
Every one of my bugs in May looked
splendidly. I was most worried about
my cut-worms, and I began to fear they
had suffered and perhaps perished in
the extreme cold of the previous winter.
One morning late in the month, I saw
a cut-worm come out from behind a cab
bage stump and take off his ear-muff.
He was a little stiff in the joints, but he
had not lost hope. I saw pt once that
now was the time to help him if I had a
spark of humanity left. I searched
every work I could find on agriculture
to find out what it was that farmers fed
their blamed cut-worms, but all sci
entists seemed to bs silent. I read the
agricultural reports, the dictionary and
the encyclopedia, but they didn’t throw
any light on the subject. I got wild. 1
feared that I had brought but one cut
worm through the winter, and 1 was
liable to lose him unless I could find out
what to feed him. I asked some of my
neighbors, but they spoke jeeringly and
sarcastically. I know now how it was. All
their cut-worms had frozen down last
winter, and they couldn’t bear to«eo me
get ahead.
All at once an idea struck me. I
haven’t recovered from the concussion
yet. It was this: The worm had winter
ed under a cabbage-stalk; no doubt he
v was fond of the beverage. I acted upon
this thought and bought him two dozen
red cabbage plants, at fifty cents a dozen.
I had hit it the first pop. He was pas
sionately fond of these plants, and would
eat three in one night. He sIbo had
several matinees and sauerkraut lawn
festivals for his friends; and in a week
I bought three dozen more cabbage
plants. By this time I had collected a
large group of common scrub cut-worms,
early Sweedish cut-worms, dwarf Hub
bard cut-worms, and shorthorn cut
worms, all doing well, but still, I
thought a little hide-bound and bilious.
They acted languid and listless. As my
squash-bugs, currant-worms, potato-
bugs, etc., were all doing well without
care, I devoted myself almost exclusive
ly to my cut-worms. They were all
strong and well, but they seemed melan
choly with nothing to eat day after day
but cabbages.
I therefore bought five dozen tomato
plants that were tender and large- These
I fed to the cut-worms at the rate of
eight to ten in one night. In a week
the cat-worms had thrown off that 'air of
ennui and languor that I had formerly
noticed, and were gay and light-hearted.
I got them some more tomato plants,
and then some more cabbage for change.
On the whole I was as proud as any
young farmer who has made a success of
anything.
One morning I noticed that a cabbage
plant was left standing unchanged. The
next day it was still there. I was thun
der-struck. I dug into the ground. My
cut-worms were gone. I spaded up the
whole patch, but there wasn’t one. Just
as I had become attached to them and
they had learned to look forward each
day to my coming, when they would
almost come up and eat a tomato plant
out of my hand, someone had robbed me
of them. I was almost wild with de
spair and grief. Suddenly something
tumbled over my foot. It was mostly
stomach, but it. had feet on each corner.
A neighbor said it was a warty toad. He
bad eaten up my summer’s work. He
had swollowed my cunning little cut
worms. I tell you, unless some wav is
provided whereby this warty toad
scourge can be wiped out, I for one shall
relinquish the joys of agricultural pur
suits. When a common toad, with a
sallow complexion and no intellect, can
swallow up my summer’s work it is time
to pause.
America's Pride.
True American men and women, by
reason of their strong constitution,beau
tiful forms, rich complexion and charac
teristic energy, are envied by all na
tions. It is the general use of Dr. Har
ter’s Iron Tonic, which brings about
these results.
By the use of the B-stsm Automatic Level,
every fanner can now do Lie own terracing. It i.
construe ed on scientific principles, and is so
very simple any one can use it. It is said not to
get out of order. Sec avertisement.
“The Mite’s Dollar”—That made up
of church collection pennies.
Wort Ever Issued.
PREMIUMS
It con'atuaoverSOO pages. 50,000 references and
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We will send this work and THE
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^BTThis will be a beautiful gift. Send
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, JAMES P. HARRISON,
Bus. Manager Cultivator Pub Co.,
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ith THE SOUTHERN CULTIVATOR for one
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A complete work of Its kind, compiled by Mrs. W.
\V. Brown, from receipts contributed by ladles of
Paris, III. Every receipt 1ms been thoroughly tested,
and proven to be good. Such a book Is ludlspenslble
In every household.
“ THE YOUNQ WIFE’S OWN COOK BOOK.”
It tenches how to buy, dress, cook, carve nnd servo
every kind of fish, fowl, meat and vegetable; ulso,
how to inuke preserves, pickets, pastry, etc.
COMMON COMPLAINTS 1K3 HOWTO CURE THEM.
Bv M. La Fayette Byron. M.’ I). This book furnishes
directions for the cure of all disease In plain and
concise manner, so that any one can understand nnd
apply the remedies. No fun\ily should be without it.
HAND BOOK OF BUSINESS.
A com plot® jam Ido to all kinds nnd forms of com
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contains the golden’s.nhis of grammar, sifted from
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KEY TO COMPOSITION.
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cal instructor in all kinds of literary labor.
HOW TO SPEAK AND WRITE.
This Is n valuable manual for the use of renders,
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THE NEGRO! KIS ORIGIN AND DESTINY.
By .T. Troup Taylor. Showing the negro to
human—vet, set apart, prophetically, to u state of
servitude front which he cun never escape. Every
mo should read this work.
JAB* P. HARRISON
Buolness Manager Cultivator
lfaliflng Co* Atlanta,
TSCZ1
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Published at Atlanta Ga., on the 1st and 15th of
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THE NOETHER* WORLD,
C0N8BUPT10N CURED.
An old physician, retired from practice, hav
ing had placed la kia hands by an East Indie
missionary the formula of a simple vegetable
remedy for the speedy and permanent cure jl
Consumption. Bronchitis, Catarrh, Asthma and
all throat ana Lung Affections, also a positive
and radical cure for Nervous Debility and all
Nervoua complaints, after having tested 1U
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and a desire to relievo human suffering, 1 will
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