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THE CHAMPION, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 14 - 20, 2019
Workshop leader offers women a ‘toolkit of skills’ to avoid assault
BY KATHY MITCHELL
FREELANCE REPORTER
What started out as a pleasant
evening socializing with friends
turned into a life-changing
experience for Nora Fahlberg.
As she was enjoying the music
and dancing alone at a nightspot,
Falhberg suddenly found herself
in a frightening situation. “I was
surrounded by men who started
what is known as a ‘group grope.’
They were grabbing me in a sexual
way and trying to put their hands
inside my clothing. They had
obviously planned it,” she recalled.
Although she acted aggressively
and was able to free herself from
the situation, the incident prompted
her to begin presenting workshops
“to help women and girls find their
voices and inner fighting spirits.”
Falhberg, described on her
website as a physician, health
coach and women’s empowerment
speaker, presented a free workshop,
“Building on MeToo,” Oct. 26 at
First Existentialist Congregation
of Atlanta on Candler Park Drive.
The title refers to the #MeToo
movement created by a social
activist and community organizer
Tarana Burke in 2006 to encourage
women who experience sexual
abuse to speak up about it.
The focus of her workshops,
Fahlberg said, is “helping women
cultivate and project confidence
and build communication skills
that enable them to deal with
uncomfortable interpersonal
Nora Fahlberg
interaction, such as bullying and
harassment, as they occur.” The
goal, she explained, is to have
participants “leave with a toolkit
of skills that will help them speak
up and stand up for themselves,
and others, in all areas of their
lives, from personal to professional
interactions.”
She emphasized that her
workshops are not anti-men; in
fact, she said, man-bashing is
not tolerated. “I love men,” she
said. “Most of them are great and
many have been very supportive
of women in their right to protect
themselves. Many women have
been able to get out of dangerous
situations because men stepped
in and helped them.” She added
that “the workshop approach is
positive, proactive and—while
[the workshops are] primarily for
women—men are welcome to
attend.”
Men, Falhberg noted, often
model behavior that women should
adopt. She advised women to
respond to inappropriate behavior
the way a man likely would—by
saying loudly and clearly, “What
are you doing? Not cool, dude!”
Falhberg said most women are
raised to be polite and ladylike,
which does nothing to serve them
well when they are defending
themselves. “I understand that. I
was raised to be ‘nice,’ to be meek
and passive. I’m glad that another
side of me came out when those
men started putting their hands on
me.”
Women, she said, often try
to handle such situations as gently
and quietly as possible. “Some
men may interpret the response
as coyness—she’s saying no, but
she doesn’t mean no. Woman have
to leave no doubt that their ‘no’
means no. Sometimes this means
abandoning behaviors that come
naturally to us such as smiling
and being friendly,” Falhberg
continued. “State your position in a
commanding, unambiguous voice.
Make statements such as ‘Get away
from me! ’ ‘Don’t talk to me that
way! ’ or ‘I’ve told you I’m not
interested!’”
Falhberg recommended getting
away from the person as quickly
as possible. Every situation is
different, she added, and women
must make judgment calls. If a
woman is physically assaulted and
decides to fight, she should fight
wholeheartedly, unafraid to injure
her attacker, Falhberg advised,
“Don’t pull a weapon unless you’re
prepared to use it immediately. If
you just brandish it, you’re giving
your attacker a chance to take it
away from you.
“Standing up to a creep could
cause him to become violent. He
might have a gun. Fighting is not
always the best course of action.
You must make the best decision
you can to create the best possible
outcome for yourself,” she said.
Citing statistics from the
National Coalition Against
Domestic Violence, Falhberg said
one in 10 women in the United
States will be raped in her lifetime
and eight in 10 will be assaulted by
someone she knows. It is common,
she said, for women to respond to
sexual abuse with denial—did this
really happen? — or self-blame.
Did this happen because she was
drinking, or dressed in a provocative
way or laughed at a sexual joke?
“I can’t say this enough,” Falhberg
said, “It’s not your fault. You should
never blame yourself. Even if all
else fails and you are raped. It’s not
your fault.”
