About The News : a publication of the Atlanta Gay Center. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1984-199? | View Entire Issue (April 25, 1986)
An Interview With Quentin Crisp continued from page 1 space to behave very badly. In New York you travel to work on the subway with your face pressed to somebody else's chest. Some kind of decorum-some kind of restraint, I think it really should be called, has to be exercised or everyone would be trampled underfoot. THE NEWS: You're probably compared a lotto Miss Manners... CRISP: Well, her book is marvelous-but her book is, of course, more useful. My book is about human relationships. So is hers to some extent, but she really does have the knowledge to tell you use the right fork and how to address people in the right terms. She's funny, but she also says things which are very useful. She's more acid than I am. She answers back, which I would never dare to do. THE NEWS: "Manners from Heaven" does seem to be less about which fork to use and whether to extend your pinky while sipping tea and more about how to get along peaceably in a world full of different people. CRISP: I think that's what manners are all about. You need manners for the sake of other people, but also for your own sake. If you want to be invited places, you're more likely to be. It's not that people say,"Let's invite him, his manners are so good," but if your manners are bad, they'll say, "Let's not invite him, he's so rude." THE NEWS: Then if you have manners, people are not conscious of them, while if you don't they're very conscious of your bad manners? CRISP: Yes. Good manners should not be conspicuous. THE NEWS: You find a great difference between British and American manners. Why are they so different? CRISP: The English are not an optimistic, not a friendly, people. Their manners consist of withdrawing from practically everything. Americans are friendly. In Texas, everybody embraces you all the time. This would be considered unduly familiar in England, whereas here it's considered at least acceptable and some people actually like it. Americans are eager to be liked and to like you-it's in their nature. THE NEWS: Is that why you've spent the last five years living in the United States? CRISP: Yes. I was always American in my heart, at least the moment I saw the movies. I knew that if I could get here I'd find that everybody was beautiful and everybody was rich... THE NEWS: And that, of course, is exactly what you found. CRISP: Well, they aren't all rich. But the standard of looks is very much higher in America than in England. When I first came to America, I was scared. I lived in hotels and went to the theatre by taxi; I couldn't compare it with England. But in 19801 began to live just as if I were an ordinary mortal. I lived in a roominghouse, and I traveled on my own two feet or in a bus. Immediately I realized that everybody is your friend. THE NEWS: You take notice that certain people look good and certain people look less so, but you are said not to be very fond of sex. Is that true? CRISP: It was very hard for me to persuade Dr. Ruth...She said, 'This is Mr. Crisp, and he has opinions about everything. What is your opinion about sex?" I answered, "Sex is a mistake." That was the beginning of the end. Sex is a way in which people try to reassure themselves, to build up their own dream of themselves. Even friendship does that to a slight extent. In a sexual relationship people plant their dream of themselves on you. The question is, which is the more forceful of you. You become part of someone else's fantasy, sometimes without even knowing what the fantasy was. It's only a form of pleasure; it has almost nothing to do with happiness. THE NEWS: You speak as if you consider that there is more to being gay than having sex. CRISP: There is. I think the word 'gay'has now acquired a different meaning from the word 'homosexual'. A person can be homosexual and no one in the world ever need know. He might never even have heard the word. If you're 'gay', you're in some way conscious of your situation in the world. 'Gay rights' are an attitude toward the world because somebody is gay. I want them to have everything they are after, but they must not believe that politics will get them that. The only people who really benefit from politics are politicians. THE NEWS: Then do you think style is the answer? § CRISP: In a way, yes. In the sense of 'style' rather than 'fashion'. When a woman said to the Reverend Dodgson, the man who wrote "Alice in Wonderland", that she was sad because she hadn't the ability to explain Christianity to her doubting friends, he said that it did not matter what doctrines you espouse, what matters is what your friends see that you as a Christian are. What the world sees that you as a gay person are is what influences them. THE NEWS: Many of us are having far less sex than we once did. If I had dreamt years ago that I would be having So little sex, I would have thought I would stop being gay, but of course I didn't. We seem to be stressing quality over quantity. CRISP: Yes. I think that will pass. In someway that I can't explain, homosexuality involves more physical activity and less personality than heterosexuality. A young heterosexual man or woman may be mad about sex, but later that passes. They give it up for what they hope will be a lifetime relationship, even if it usually does not turn out that way. Most gay men don't. Homosexual women do like to think they are forming a permanent relationship; they do want a shared life. Two lesbians start talking about the sort of curtains that will be in the living room when they've only just shaken hands. Men want the opposite-if there's a heaven for gay men, it will be very dimly lit, and crammed with people one can be reasonably sure one will never have to meet again. THE NEWS: Do you .think people are having less sex because of AIDS, or is it something else? CRISP: It is because of AIDS. Of course, after AIDS has passed, I don't know if the people who have become used to a less promiscuous life will change again. But as soon as homosexuals could cease living a furtive sort of life, they all seemed to go mad, just as people did when they realized they could talk about sex. A few years back, people talked about sex all the time, all shows included a certain amount of nudity. You could, so you did. But it may be that people have become used to a slightly calmer way of living, that it's here to stay. THE NEWS: We're being encouraged these days to develop relationships, but once again your ideas don't seem to be in line with this trend. What do you think people need from their relationships? CRISP: What they need is to separate sexual relationships from social relationships. They can't really be combined. I've asked even heterosexual people who claim they have a lifelong relationship how they manage to be wise, witty, kind, and beautiful for twenty-four hours a day. They, never answer. One day, if you're not careful, you'll be your horrible self in front of somebody else. If you want somebody to have this romantic view of you that most people want in a relationship, you have to keep it separate. Or at least, live separately-live one floor up or down, or on the next street. You cannot keep your dreams alive in an ordinary situation. Homosexuals have this unique opportunity. When they're questioned about why it is so difficult for two men to form a lifelong relationship, they always say, "Well, so many of the forces which keep married couples together drive homosexual couples apart." None of them ever say, "I'm happy to say that because of our unique situation, we are free, forever, from this dark spectre of eternal love." It exists hardly anywhere in nature. I believe swans, or doves, or something or other may form lifelong partnerships. But there's no need of that when there are no children. Children require some sort of security. THE NEWS: In 'The Naked Civil Servant" you speak of searching for a "Great Dark Man" and later concluding that there is no Great Dark Man. What are you searching for now? CRISP: Well, I'm not searching anymore. I think a lot of effeminate young men look for a Protector who will take them Away From All This. When I was young, I lived in the suburbs. I only saw very ordinary relationships-they were not merely heterosexual; they were' very conventional. All the girls I knew, if I asked them why they got married, they said at once, "Oh, I got married to get away from home." So, I thought, some day someone must turn up who will provide the means for my leaving home. I was miserable. I don't ever remember not being laughed at. As soon as I stepped out of my cradle I was an object of ridicule. I thought: there must be someone who will deal with all this for me. Of course, now I have an agent and everything is done for me. All that I wanted all my life was to have all decisions made for me, and now they are. All the major ones. It means that I'm never to blame. The News page 3 THE NEWS: Gay men are supposed to be vain about their physical appearances and terrified of growing old, although a lot of us now are coming to regard old age as an achievement rather than a misfortune. Can you suggest anything for us to look forward to in old age? CRISP: Ves, I can. Gay men are terrified in a way that is really quite worrying. Letters written to gay papers complain, 'I find I can't go downstairs anymore without holding onto the handrail." Well, who cares! The advantage of growing old is that as it's toward the end of the route you can overact apallingly. THE NEWS: Years ago, in the twenties and thirties, you probably dreamed of visiting America, though I doubt you dreamed much about Atlanta. Now, here you are. What do you think of it? CRISP: First of all, I love America. I love all the cities I've been to in the same way. People are so anxious to meet you, so willing to please. They want to know "What do you think of America?" They want to show you places, to ; give you a good time. They're very generous. Bartenders will give you a drink. Taxi drivers talk to you. THE NEWS: You've been to Atlanta one time before? CRISP: At least once before. I came to do the Book Fair, for only an hour. It's conveyor belt work, so I din't see anything. The splendor of Atlanta absolutely staggers me. I told the publicity lady, "I thought it had been burnt down." She said, 'We built it up again just for you." It looks as though they had! It's all so neuA Atlanta doesn't look as if it was rebuilt since the Civil Wan it looks as though it was rebuilt since "Gone With the Wind"! THE NEWS: If you could bring about just one change in the manners of everybody in the world, what would it be? CRISP: They should cultivate an inner calm. That is what all good human relationships spring from. First people must come to know themselves, and then they can live comfortably with others. THE NEWS: One last question: during your five years in America, have you ever run into any of those American servicemen you used to meet on the streets of London during the blackouts? CRISP: Not knowingly. In a warm blend of cello, guitar and voice, Carole Etzler and Brenda Chambers offer a concern for justice, a vision of peace, and a deep feminist understanding. Come and celebrate their new album 'Thirteen Ships" on Friday, May 9. The concert will take place at the Unitarian Universalist Church, 1911 Cliff Valley Way. Tickets are $5.00 in advance or $6.00 at the door. For advance ticket sales contact either UUCA or Charis Book Store. "NOW IS THE TIME". Fulfilling Your Insurance and Financial Needs... Jim Bell Agent (404) 321-1200 Dr. Bemie Short The Equitable Life Assurance Society of the United States 2635 Century Parkway, NE, Ste. 600, Atlanta, 30345 . GENERAL MEDICINE Appointments Monday Thru Friday - Walk In Welcome 772-A North Highland • Atlanta, GA 30306 • 872-3000 LIFE - HOSPITAL — RETIREMENT ’Personally for the Gay and Lesbian Community of Atlanta
