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♦ WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 31, 2008
6A
OPINION
Reversing course on divorce
You may have heard it said that
we are living in a “culture of
divorce.” At least that is what
many social scientists and cultural com
mentators will tell you.
No matter how you assess it, the fact
remains that we live in a society where
divorce is all too common. America’s
divorce rate is twice what it was in 1960.
The most dramatic increase occurred
between 1965 and when it peaked in
1980. Since then, the divorce rate has
been falling slightly, but is still among
the highest in the world. Today a couple
entering a first marriage has between a
40 and 50 percent chance that they will
experience either divorce or separation.
The Baby Boomer generation bears
much of the responsibility for the high
number of broken families. I think it’s
fair to say that one reason divorce has
been so rampant over the past 40 years
is because of the sexual recklessness
that erupted during the 19605. It is
certainly true that the intact family in
America began suffering its most dam
aging blows during this time. Sadly,
much of the wreckage has been passed
on to the younger generations.
Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse, who has
taught economics at Yale and George
Mason University, recently pointed out
an interesting trend among today’s
younger generation. In her words, “I
have been stunned by how many young
people are fed up with divorce.”
Dr. Roback Morse analyzed a recent
Pew Research Center study that got a
lot of attention when it was released. It
had some interesting findings regard
ing American attitudes about marriage
and parenthood (much of which goes
far beyond the scope of this week’s
column). She dug past the main find
ings of the report, deeper into the data,
curious to see if she could confirm what
young men and women were telling her
about divorce. She found what she was
looking for.
'
"Great news! I’ve already started on my New Year’s
resolution to save money...l’ve been out shopping the sales!"
Ready or not, here comes 2009
Late in the afternoon on
Christmas Eve, I took my niece
on a last minute shopping trip.
We decided not to fight the traffic
around the big box store and went
instead to a fairly new store, full of
merchandise - all bright and shiny .
I believe we were the only customers
there.
Then we went to another store a
couple of blocks away and there were
a half dozen customers, but that may
have been because just about every
thing was 75 percent off.
It doesn’t take an MBA to know
when a business isn’t making enough
money to meet payroll.
A young friend called me on
Christmas morning, and we were five
minutes into the conversation before I
asked her “How’s the job going?” and
she told me she had gotten laid off. I’m
glad she’s got great mom and dad,
because it’s hard to find a job when
one of the main survived strategies for
businesses is cutting positions.
Georgia’s unemployment rate was
7.5 percent in November, which was
•higher than the nation’s 6.4.
Welcome to the global recession,
folks. If you believe in luck, tomorrow’s
the day to have black-eyed peas.
And if you don’t believe in luck
Randy
Hicks
Columnist
Georgia Family Council
The Pew Research Center surveyed
adults of all ages. They were asked:
“Which statement comes closer to
your views about divorce? Should be
avoided except in an extreme situation;
Preferable to maintaining an unhappy
marriage.” Baby Boomers (ages 50 to
64) registered the largest percent sup
port for ending a marriage. Perhaps
not surprising since so many divorc
es occurred in their generation. But
what was notable was the response
from America’s youngest adults - those
between the ages of 18 and 29 -who
were the most likely of all adults to
agree that divorce should be avoided.
The numbers show that 45 percent
of 18 to 29 years olds believe divorce
should be avoided except under extreme
circumstances - 15 points higher than
the 30 percent of 50 to 64 years olds
who felt the sairie.
Is it possible that younger adults are
disillusioned with divorce? It certainly
appears to be the case. And who could
blame them? Greater numbers of them
have borne the heavy baggage of living
in broken homes than any others at any
time in our country’s history.
This shift in attitude is good news,
especially considering that children
from divorced homes are more likely to
get divorced themselves. Conventional
wisdom would say that the more chil
dren of divorce there are, the more
failed marriages will likely result. But
perhaps that can change.
Unfortunately, their desire for intact
families is in direct conflict with their
Charlotte
Perkins
Staff writer
cperkins@evansnewspapers.com
(which I don’t), have them anyway,
because they’re cheap, filling and a
good source of protein.
Plenty of people got through the
Great Depression on peas, cornbread
and greens. Those weren’t the peo
ple jumping out of the skyscrapers
in 1929. Those were the people who
made it through hard times and then
fought World War 11. They could tell
you a bunch, and probably did already
if you’re my age, but here are some tips
for right now.
The rules for surviving a recession
are to lower debt, spend less and save
more. These of course, are good rules
anytime, so maybe some of us need the
excuse to get our financial habits into
sync with our income.
If you’ve got a paid-for or nearly
paid-for car, take very good care of it.
Sorry about the auto industry, but this
isn’t the time to take on new car pay-
* 1
- jL W
beliefs about other social trends.
Despite their growing objection to
divorce, young adults are most like
ly to have permissive attitudes about
unmarried cohabitation, premarital
sex and out-of-wedlock childbearing
- behaviors that weaken marriage and
often lead to the pain they are eager
to avoid.
Younger Americans have also grown
up in a culture filled with extra-mari
tal sex and childbearing. For many of
them such conduct is acceptable. Yet,
here again, acceptance of this behavior
is counterintuitive to their own desire
for healthy marriage.
There is a big challenge before today’s
young men and women.
I certainly don’t have all the answers.
But it is encouraging that they hold an
increasing belief that marriage matters
and that divorce is consequential.
Whether we are in a culture of
divorce and whether that culture will
expand is debatable. I certainly don’t
take a defeatist approach to the future
of marriage, nor do I think we are
guaranteed to have an ever-increasing
number of divorces in our society. In
fact, part of my own work at Georgia
Family Council is focused on revers
ing rates of divorce in Georgia. We
are committed to equipping leaders
throughout the state who will prepare
couples for lasting, healthy marriages.
I can only hope that growing num
bers of today’s younger generation will
reject divorce and seek out committed
and loving marriages. To do so would
not only be to their benefit, but to their
children’s as well.
Georgia Family Council is a non-prof
it organization that works to strength
en and defend the family in Georgia by
equipping marriage advocates, shaping
laws, preparing the next generation and
influencing culture. For more informa
tion, go to www.georgiafamily.org, 770-
242-0001, stephen@gafam.org.
ments.
if - you’ve got credit cards, take them
out of your wallet. Whether you cut
them up with scissors or just put them
away in a safe place depends on your
will power, but stop using them.
If you’ve got a debit card, use it for
gas since you’re only going to buy the
amount you need. Or have it on hand
for emergencies. Otherwise try using
cash or your checkbook for shopping
ventures (grocery stores, malls) where
you’re making choices, or may be faced
with temptations. It’s been well-estab
lished that people who use credit cards
spend more than those who use debit
cards. But those who use debit cards
spend more than those who use cash or
checks. (My theory is that the plastic
emits fumes that persuade us that it’s
not really money.)
Eat at home. Pack lunches. Shop
with bargains in mind and plan your
meals around the best buys.
If shopping is your main recreation
or you buy things to show off, get a
grip!. Remember the old term “conspic
uous consumption”? That’means buy
ing things to impress other people (as
if other people are easily impressed).
It will save money to just make
copies of your next bank statement
See PERKINS, page 8A
"One voice con make a difference"
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Southern hospitality and thanks to
you, a Christmas biassing
We’re from Andalusia, 111., and we live on a farm with
sheep as livestock. I have a female, 4-year-old,
Cardigan Welsh Corgi, “Jessie” that helps me with the live
stock and is my best friend.
On Nov. 21, we had plans to take our vacation to
Pinehurst, N.C., for a weekend of herding. Then we
went to Myrtle Beach and then we would be off to have
Thanksgiving with my brother and his family in Kathleen.
So on Nov. 25, we arrived at my brother’s place. We ate,
talked, and there was lots of laughing. The next day, my
brother had taken my husband and I to Macon, to do a little
shopping. We had decided to leave Jessie in the house to
relax.
At 2 p.m. my brother received a phone call saying that
Jessie had darted out from the house. He drove us home
right away and we all started looking, calling her name and
asking people outside if they had seen her. To that end,
neighbors started walking, children also. A husband and
child on a four wheeler, mother and child on bikes, people
in cars: all looking for our Jessie.
Animal control had been phoned and the work of the
Internet started. At this point the fear, the not knowing, the
cars, the weather, all added up. Tears started falling from
my eyes and my heart was broken.
Then a person from the neighborhood would express
that “We’ll find her"! I just could not believe the support that
was offered to my husband and I, people they didn’t even
know.
On Thanksgiving Day, I started walking early morning, a
woman out power walking stopped and asked if Jessie had
been found. I said no, and she said so fast, “I’ll keep look
ing and tell others”. Not long a blue car stopped me. “Did
you find Jessie?” No, not yet. He said, with two children in
the back, “We’ll keep looking-you’ll find her”. I walked and
walked. An older couple was out walking and they said they
would watch for her.
On Friday, we walked early morning and decided to make
flyers and post them. All the vets had been phoned and
animal control once more. The fliers we put in the newspa
per slots and handed to people as they drove, walked or
biked by. Stop signs, telephone poles just in any place we
could find. Saturday and Sunday the same thing and more
people had been asking about her, a neighbor even offered
his bike to me to use. Now even when we went to Publix
grocery store, the staff asked about her.
Once more the kindness, the prayers just overwhelmed
my husband and me.
Dec. 1, we stopped at the humane society in Warner
Robins, no Jessie, but we posted a flier and made a report.
We phoned Perry also, but no report of anyone seeing
her. They had said that we are doing the right thing, and
expressed they’d do what they could.
We had to return home to Illinois that Tuesday. Our
hearts broke; no signs of her anywhere. But the neighbor
hood said they’d keep looking. The newspaper ran an ad
for us, free for two weeks. I was so very thankful of the help
choosing the right words to post this. She was so very kind
and expressed how sorry she felt for us losing our dog.
The drive home was forever. Tears, the lost feeling of
knowing my little girl was left there, and not knowing where
her family was.
During the next few days my brother received phone calls
from the neighbors and let me know this. We had been
so taken by this. My sister-in-law teaches school and her
students have asked about Jessie and will keep an eye out
for her. The staff my brother works with did the same. My
sister-in-law’s parents had spoken of Jessie’s situation to
their friends and they would watch for her. The prayers and
phone calls along with emails kept coming. I did not know
what to say or do living so very far from this area.
On Dec. 8, Jessie had been seen at Ed Ford’s farm on
HWY 96 by Lake Joy Road. He and my brother tried to
catch her the next morning, No luck, she ran once more.
He phoned me, and I with the help of a staff member got
a plane ticket to fly out Wednesday morning and started
looking for her.
Wednesday the winds had been strong here in Illinois,
but by the time the plane got to Atlanta the weather looked
like rain. I was shown the area where she’d been seen and
I put on rain gear, and started walking and calling.
Still there was no sign. Thursday was more of the same.
See LETTER, page
ton Pmne iourttal
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