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M
VOL T WO
•HUMVER TWENTY-EIGHT
WHAT WE THINK OF WHAT WE SEE
A Michigan mother recently had occasion to
chastise her seven-year-old son. She used a
stick for that purpose. She laid young hopeful
across her lap in the orthodox fashion and admin
istered the first wallop, when there was an explo
sion. Investigation revealed the fact that the child
had a dynamite cap in the back pocket of his pants,
and the stick caused it to explode. The mother
lost a finger and the boy was severely injured. She
didn’t know he was loaded.
R R
A Baltimore man has been complaining that he
feels a frog moving around in his stomach. His
physician has been unable to afford him relief; he
has tried eveiy remedy ever devised for frogs, all
to no avail. The frog keeps moving around in his
stomach and it is most annoying. His friends have
come forward with suggestions; still no results. It
will finally occur to him perhaps that the situation
may -be alleviated to some extent by his swallowing
a toad-stool. The frog would then take the hint
and sit down. He would not be moving around all
the time.
R R
There are various kinds of oratory. It is said
that the old-fashioned “spread-eagle” kind has
about passed away, and a calmer eloquence of logic
and facts has taken its place. There still remains,
in the rural mind at least, .something of the old
conception of what it takes to constitute an orator.
This is illustrated by the following from the
Washington Star:
“Is that man a great orator?”
“Well,” answered Farmer Corntossel, “he makes
speeches that are right enjoyable to listen to, but
I don’t believe he’s what you’d call a successful
orator. He never says anything that starts a
fight.”
R R
If there is one thing more than another, that the
Missouri people pride themselves upon, it is the
Missouri Mule. Wherever upon the face of the
earth a Missourian is met, he will speak reverently
of the Mule. It is to him what “Dixie” is to the
old Confederate and “God Save the Queen” to the
Englishman. The Mule is more than an institution;
he is a faith —a political platform —a precious her
itage. It is even said on good authority that the na
tives of the mule belt of that State have come
from long association with the Mule and from sin
cere admiration for his many admirable qualities,
to partake of many of his characteristics. Their
voices are similar, their dispositions in particular
instances marvelously alike. So it is no wonder
that the people of Missouri are justly offended be
cause horses instead of mules are to be used in the
procession which will escort the President of the
ATLANTA, GA., SEPTEMBER 5, b¥
Sy A. E. RAMS A UR, Managing Editor.
Jai Alai from his landing place on the river front
at the time of President Roosevelt’s visit to St.
Louis in October. The ones objecting to the mule
assign the reason that owing to his peculiar style
of architecture he “does not lend himself readily
to pageantry.” We don’t know just what consti
tutes “pageantry” but we have an idea, and our
preferences are with the mule for pageantry pur
poses as well as the other uses to which he has
heretofore been put. The Washington Post holds
similar views, as evidenced by the following:
“All patriotic Missourians are, and of right
ought to be, proud of the noble hybrid known and
admired all over the world as the Missouri mule.
His fame has gone out through all the earth, and
his voice to the end of the world. Wherever grim
visaged war has its wrinkled front in commission,
there the mule is in great demand. He hauls artil
lery, rations, quartermasters’ stores, ammunition,
and all other army supplies. If there is no pa
geantry in a long procession of him with ears erect
and, ever and anon, waking the echoes with his
melodious bray, where will you find pageantry?”
To some it may appear that we are going rather
far afield in search of a cause to engage our lance,
but when the future possibilities of this discrimi
nation against the mule are considered, we know
that we will be upheld. If the Missouri Mule, the
noblest of his species, is thus shoved ruthlessly from
the procession, what horrible things may not be
done to the Georgia Mule when similar opportunity
for mistreatment arrives? We cannot bear the
thought of this friend of man being abused. The
mule was the friend of our youth and the sweet com
panion of our maturer .days. He was our solace
in time of trouble and the sharer of our joys. His
sweet patience and calm optimism in the face of
even the most trying situations have been the
sources from which we have drawn all the near
wisdom we possess. Let us defend our mules at anj
cost.
R R
Just how the spirits of the departed are engaged
in the other world has afforded a theme for spec
ulation for mankind since the world began. The
science of spiritualism offers certain theories which
are more or less interesting, and usually very amus
ing. The Brooklyn Eagle quotes a man “who has
spent practically all his life in the investigations
of spiritualism” as saying:
“At this time there is as much turmoil in the
spirit world as there is here. Those who have gone
before realize the immense importance to humanity
in general that is wrapped up in the industrial and
political developments of the next few years. . . .
You would smile, perhaps, if I should tell you that
States’ rights, the trust agitation, railroad legis
lation and all other great questions that are now
before the people are sources of lively contention
among the inhabitants of the spirit world, and that
the great statesmen of our country who have passed
away, from Washington down to McKinley, are en
deavoring to make the principles which they held
while on earth felt through the medium of Presi
dent Roosevelt.”
We are glad this gentleman has spoken just at
this time on just this’point. We have been at some
loss to understand certain impulsive doings on the
part of President Roosevelt touching questions
widely diversified in their nature. We have it en
tirely straight now. For instance, when Noah Web
ster’s spirit gets the president’s ear he fills it full
of spelling talk, and forthwith spelling reform en
gages executive attention. Then, if the hero of the
Leatherstocking Tales has a spirit existing he would
turn attention, when his time came, to nature-fak
ing and so on to the final sum of all human interests.
We just hope that some kind of charm can be de
vised to ward off the spirits and induce them to
talk to Mr. Loeb, or public printer Stillings, or Mr.
Bryan. Then the times would be calmer to some
extent.
R R
Charles Lamb, to our thinking, voiced the final
expression of wisdom in regard to reading books
when he said: “When a new book comes out, read
an old one.” The books being published now, many
of them, are poor beyond expression when consid
ered relatively to the qualities that will make them
endure and be vurth reading one hundred or even
fifty years lienee. In a current magazine, Mr. Am
brose Bierce makes note of the fact that ‘ ‘ for sum
mer reading” a literary contemporary mentions
“one hundred best books,” all published in the
first half of this year. Mr. Bierce remarks: “That is
more good books than have been published in my time,
and I am no child; I have outlived several thousand
of ‘immortal’ works, mostly novels. It looks as if
some envicus malefactor were diligently unwriting
all such.” Ngw we see that Mr. Bierce is too strict
in his judgment. The trouble is he has allowed the
book-store clerks to put off the ordinary dollar-and
a-half novel cn him. If he would just rend a few
of the novels published for the people, such as Old
Sleuth or Nick Carter, he would get something that
he would not soon forget. These are the really im
mortal works. He has been reading love stories
only. As evidence of the fact, he quotes disap
provingly the following passage from one of the
books he has read: “Profoundly affected, Leona
retired to the conservatory and uttered a deep
drawn sigh, then returning to the ballroom, flung
herself into the waltz with an assumed ecstasy that
elicited wide comment.” We could show him some
good reading, even among the new books, if we were
allowed to choose for him.
TWO DOLLARS A YEAR.
FIVE CENTS A COPY.
