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WHAT WE THINK OF WHAT WE SEE
Mr. Bernard Shaw has declared that tea is as
bad as whiskey. Which shows that he just doesn’t
know much about some kinds of whiskey. What?
•6
Three millinery stores in San Francisco were
robbed last week. A woman who will make her hus
band steal to get her an Easter bonnet is a pretty
heartless creature.
A bigamist in Decatur, 111., has been ordered by
the court to support both his families. Think of
having that burden now when living is so expensive,
in addition to two mothers-in-law!
*
“Come into the garden, John —
Weather’s mighty dry:
Whitewash all the palin’s,
Or —I’ll know the reason why!”
*
Harry Thaw is beginning to try to get released
from the asylum and says he is going to try to win
back his wife when he is free. That kind of talk
convinces us that he is in just the proper place now.
It has been discovered by a Chicago probation
officer that cigarettes will cure the drink habit.
It has been discovered by a lot of people that cigar
ettes will cure any old habit if they are sufficiently
persisted in.
*
“’Which is the cow that gives the buttermilk?”
said the sweet young thing from the city.
“Don’t make yourself ridiculous,” said the young
lady who had been in the country before and knew
a thing or two. “Goats give the buttermilk.”
■t
It has been discovered that there is one lawyer
in New York City to every two hundred and fifty
citizens. And from some things we hear about
the folks in that town, the two hundred and fifty
can keep their lawyer busy.
•t
“When Grover Cleveland and W. J. Bryan call
at the White House to join the other great men
invited to discuss the conservation of the natural re
sources of the country, that historic edifice will
contain for the first time the country’s greatest Has
Been, Is and Would Be.” —Washington Post. In
stead of Would Be, is it not a Maybe So?
AIKEN IS STILL ACHING
A Mob Attacks Editor of The Golden Age "Because of His Tight Against Liquor
Our recent editorial on “The Ache of Aiken” did
not half reflect the tenacity with which the liquor
traffic fought for its life in that “booze ridden”
county on the border line of Georgia. The follow
ing dispatch to the Atlanta Journal tells something
of the closing days of the great battle and the
riotous conduct of the liquor forces on the night
after the election.
Aiken, S. C., April 18.
The result of the prohibition election held in this
county on the 15th instant is yet in doubt. While
the face of the returns shows about a hundred and
fifty majority for the dispensary, the prohibition
ists declare that this majority would be easily re
versed if only legal votes were counted. They
declare also that they have ample evidence that
even in communities where prohibition received a
majority the friends of the dispensary who were
in control of the election openly refused to track
the law requiring each voter to present his registra
tion certificate, so that in the event of the contest
that precinct could be thrown out.
The election commissioners will meet Tuesday,
April 21, to canvass the returns and it is thought that
the result of the election will either go to the pro
hibitionist* or a new election be called for. In the
flatter ease the prohibitionists say that they will
The Golden Age for April 23, 1908.
Vy A. E. RAMSAUE. Managing Editor.
The Kansas City Post in speaking of Represen
tative Boozer of Georgia, says “where they have a
mild form of prohibition.” Now according to that,
a_ real, close-locked, severe form of prohibition
would be worth traveling away to see. It is so
true.
*
This story is told of an apology offered by a be
reaved son: The young clergyman, after officiat
ing at the funeral services of a deceased farmer,
was backing his horse out of the shed when he was
thus hailed by a son of the deceased: “Say, elder,
I want to kinder apologize ter ye fer the small
turn-out at the funeral. Fact is, the corpse ain't
pop’lar in these parts.”
*
Now did you ever have neighbors who had the
cutest little dog that they loved very, very dearly,
and who might very possibly have carried on this
dialogue ?
“John,” said Mrs. Jones.
“What?” replied Mr. Jones.
“Will you speak a kind word to little Fido and
make him wag his tail? He hasn’t had one bit
of exercise all day.”
“Shall you see the new play tonight, Mrs. Brown?
It’s to be a brilliant performance, I’m told.”
“Well, I hardly know,” replied Mrs. Brown. “My
daughter is to be one of a box party of school girls
tonight, and if she deems it suitable for a person
who acquired her sense of propriety before 1890,
I shall probably go. Certain things are discussed
on the stage nowadays which perhaps I am too old
to hear.”
n
A downtown car stopped at a busy corner in this
city a few days ago to allow a lady, accompanied by
eight children, to get aboard. The car was already
well filled, and the process of getting all the new pas
sengers on board was rather a slow one, the small
est child being about three years old. After all
the children had been loaded upon the platform,
the lady followed, somewhat out of breath. The
conductor was annoyed by the delay and as he
gave the signal for the car to proceed he asked:
“Are these all your children, Mum, or is it a pic
nic?”
“They are all my children,” returned the woman
with a grim smile, “and I can tell you it’s no pic
nic. ’ ’
have a great advantage, especially because of the
change of sentiment since the election, produced by
the riotous demonstrations of the dispensary people
on the night of the election. Threats were made on
the lives of the prohibition leaders, crape was tied
on door and gate posits and women were terribly
frightened by their noisy and threatening proceed
ings. The prohibitionists of Aiken were greatly
shocked, and many of the best dispensary people
sympathized with them, when they learned that
Mr. William D. Upshaw, of Georgia, who had been
campaigning in the county for ten days before'the
election, was set upon by a mob at the depot as he
was leaving Aiken, having such indignities heaped
upon him as a riotous, drinking crowd would
naturally be expected to inflict.
Mr. Upshaw’s speeches during the campaign were
marked by that kindness of tone and spirit for which
the famous temperance worker is distinguished. He
often declared that he came with “love for the
liquor seller but death to the liquor traffic” and his
speeches, which were declared to be the ablest ever
heard in this section, have won many converts from
the dispensary to prohibition. The dispensary lead
ers charged the Georgian also with being responsi
ble for the women going to the polls. When they
were hesitating, he told the story of Garibaldi
“Drinking whiskey is loike monkeying with a buzz
saw —wan niver knows how much it will rip at wance,
nor when you can sthop its ripping.”
R
The government statistics show that we now have
in this country money to the extent of $35.35 per
capita. Well, we wouldn’t stickle for the thirty
five cents if we could just get in sight of the round
dollars constituting our per capita. Strange how
little comfort one gets out of statistics of that kind.
Yes? No?
K
The mayor of Harrisburg has ordered that intox
icated men shall be taken to their homes and deliv
ered over to their wives instead of being taken to
the station house. That mayor knows how to stop
drinking on the part of his fellow citizens; at least
the married ones will soon reform.
*
They are telling this as an actual occurrence dur
ing the recent Easter shopping season:
“Let me see some of your black kid gloves,”
said a lady to the salesman. “These are not the
latest style, are they?” she asked when the gloves
were produced.
“Yes, madam,” replied the shopman; “we have
had them in stock only two days.”
“I didn’t think they were, because the fashion
paper says black kids have tan stitches, and vice
versa. I see the tan stitches, but not the vice
versa. ’ ’
The salesman explained that vice versa was
French for seven buttons, so she bought three pairs.
It was during the dessert course. He had been
sitting next to her for the last hour and a half, and
was deeply conscious of the beautiful contour of
her arms and shoulders.
“Do you know,” she suddenly remarked, “I’ve
been in misery for a week? Sometimes I could
almost scream with pain.”
“Why, what’s the matter?” he exclaimed sym
pathetically.
“I was vaccinated last week, and it has 1 taken’
dreadfully.”
His eyes fell and his gaze was curious. But he
saw no scar.
“Why,” he asked impetuously, “where were you
vaccinated?”
With a sweet smile, she raised her eyebrows.
“In New York,” she replied.
calling to his ragged followers to step over the line
with him to 11 hardship, death, liberty, and immor
tality,” and when the 11 Georgia orator on crutches”
finished this story, the large company of Aikeh’s
cultured women sprang to their feet, waving their
handkerchiefs, declaring that they would go to the
polls and work for prohibition until the last vote
was counted. Mr. Upshaw was also urged to stay
and direct the workers on election day and while
he kept everybody in good humor, the dispensary
people would not forgive him for the inroads his
work made on their ranks. And after he had spoken
at the Baptist church following the election, he drove
hurriedly to the depot in company with Rev. W. J.
Snyder, the pastor of the Methodist church, who
had led the prohibition forces. On appearing at
the depot the Georgia worker was surrounded by
a howling mob some of whom had threatened his life
and told him to “go back to Georgia and enforce
his own prohibition laws.” The mob then went to
several houses in the community and were so
boisterous and threatening that a number of the
leaders will likely be prosecuted for riot.
Mr. Upshaw returned to Aiken yesterday for. a
few hours and was given an ovation by his friends,
some of the dispensary people going to him and
apologizing for the conduct of the crowd, to which
he gallantly replied “It w T as not Aiken that did it —
it was dispensary liquor in men who would be better
off without it, and this incident makes me more
determined than ever to fight the liquor traffic to
the death.”
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