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VOL UME. THUE E
7XUHVEH I O UETE E N
WHAT WE THINK OF WHAT WE SEE
The one Burning Question before the Atlanta
Solons: How near is near-beer"?
*
May has great difficulty in drying her tears this
season. We hope she is lamenting the final depart
ure of Winter.
8t
Mamma, amazed at the brevity of little Gracie’s
nap, asked her why she had waked so soon.
“Why,” replied Gracie, “I slept all the sleep I
had.”
It is not worth while to worry because politics
are being so fiercely agitated. It will all quiet
down serenely as soon as the home team begins to
play on its own grounds.
A man in New York city was granted a divorce
the other day on the rather unique ground that he
didn’t know he was married. He surely didn’t
hang around the house much.
8?
A school girl in applying to the court to allow
her an increased allowance stated that it is easy
to spend SIO,OOO per year. Not without being
rather extravagant; especially in States where there
is a two-cent railroad rate.
An Englishman recently visiting in New York
expressed surprise that Americans are not taller.
If he were to wander down this way and. see just
how short some of us are he would be grieved as
well as surprised.
*
Suppose you were a manufacturer of campaign
buttons in Georgia, and decided to make assurance
doubly sure by turning out a lot of Smith buttons
and also a lot of Brown buttons, and about that
time a man named Jones, a real sure-enougli blown
in-the-glass commoner, should hump himself and
come under the wire a neck ahead; wouldn’t that
irritate you?
•e
Benbow City, the town that has grown up around
the Standard Oil Company’s new refinery, eight
miles south of Alton, Hl., is the wettest town in
Illinois, and also the wettest in America. It has
just begun its corporate existence with eighteen
registered voters and twenty-three saloons. With
in the corporate limits of Benbow City there are
three hundred persons and one saloon for each thir
teen inhabitants.
In addition to the twenty-three saloons there are
seven brewery agencies, and each saloon and brew
ery agency pays SSOO a year license. The eighteen
ATLANTA, GA., MAY 21, 1908.
9y A. E. 'RAMSA UR, Managing Editor.
voters are to meet soon for the purpose of decid
ing what shall be done with the money paid by the
twenty-three saloons. Wonder if Aunt Carrie has
ever heard of that town?
8?
The New York Mail is taking a “straw ballot”
on the question, “What is the biggest nuisance in
New York?” If a vote on that question was taken
in Georgia, we would cast our ballot promptly and
repeatedly for the man who wants to poll street
cars, business offices and even the street crowds on
the governor’s race.
8?
The Atlanta fire-chief says the pressure was not
good and for that reason the firemen were unable
to accomplish what they otherwise would have done
in extinguishing the recent fire. The Mayor says
the pressure was all right at the pumping station.
Can pressure leak from the main between stations
just like good promises leak from a candidate-elect
between the polls and his office?
n
We are glad there are not many ministers who
feel toward the dearly beloved members of their
flock as did this one, spoken of in an exchange:
“Then Mr. Roxley didn’t give according to his
means?”
“No,” replied the minister, “merely acording to
his meanness.”
Benbow City, 111., is arranging to build a church.
Think of what a struggle it will be when that soli
tary church sets to' work to oust the twenty-three
saloons in that thriving hamlet! Well, we put our
money on the church. It may be a long fight, but
when the sword is drawn and the scabbard thrown
away, there is but one outcome eventually.
8?
There is a man in Texas who has a front yard
containing six hundred acres. When you have to
run the lawn-mower over a little postage stamp of
a yard and find it difficult to refrain from language,
just stop a moment to consider what that man is up
against in trying to say what he really feels when
the grass begins to grow, Gentle Anne!
8?
This is the story told by a country school teach
er: “On the first morning of the fall term of school
a tall, powerfully built woman came into the school
room leading by the hand a tall, husky lad, over
grown, and possessing a keen, wicked looking eye.
She advanced close to the desk, looked me straight
in the face and said, in a stern I-mean-business
voice: ‘Sir, I have here my dear little son whom
I have brought to your school. Now, if ever he be-
haves in a mischievous way you must not lay hands
on him, for he is a delicate, high-strung child, with
very sensitive nerves. He is not a bad boy, but
sometimes his love of fun gets the upper hand of
him. In such cases you will have to chastise him,
I know. Now, what I want to suggest to you to do
in such, a case is to thrash soundly the boy sitting
next to him, compelling my little boy to watch the
effects of the punishment. That will be a warning
to him not to misbehave again soon, and in this way
he will be induced to be just as good and obedient
as a boy could be.’ ” Now who that has taught has
not known a splendid, broad-minded woman and a
dear little darling like that?
8?
The number of people committing suicide in St.
Louis last year was nineteen less than the previous
year. Which goes to prove the assertion that, after
a while, people can become hardened to almost any
thing.
8?
A story is told in the Philadelphia Ledger of a
Chautauqua Assembly held last Summer in a Geor
gia town of about six thousand people. The ses
sions were held in a large tent about a mile from
town.
An enterprising showman heard of the large
crowds, and came to town on the second day with
a steam merry-g’o-round, which he located about
half-way between the town and the Chautauqua
grounds. Along in the afternoon a young man from
the country districts was accosted by a citizen of
the town.
“Well, Ezry, I suppose you have been to the
Chautauqua?”
“I shore have. Jest come from thar now.” •
“How’d you like it?” asked the townsman.
“Jes’ fine!” the young man replied enthusiasti
cally. “I rode on the thing nine times!”
8?
We have been reading of an altercation which re
cently arose between a citizen of Detroit and a
street car company of that city. The citizen en
tered the office of the superintendent of the com
pany demanding justice in most vigorous language.
The official gently inquired the cause of complaint,
and the angry citizen explained that on the pre
vious day as his wife was boarding a car, the con
ductor had stepped on her dress, tearing from it
more than a yard of material.
“I can’t see that we are to blame for that,”
protested the superintendent. “What do you ex-
• pect us to do, get her a new dress?”
“No, sir, I do not,” rejoined the angry citizen,
brandishing a piece of cloth. “What I propose is
that you people shall match this material.”
Whereupon the superintendent, realizing what he
was up against, resigned.
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